Mark Heilshorn Finds Dharma In Massage

“Dharma” is a Sanskrit word. It means “following your true purpose.”

Dharma Massage Therapy near downtown is not idly named. Owner Mark Heilshorn has been following his winding purpose — and the road to Westport — for years.

Mark Heilshorn

The Garden City, Long Island native always wanted to pursue “global level” work. After college he volunteered for Americares. Two weeks after joining the disaster relief and health non-profit in 1986, a major earthquake struck El Salvador. Heilshorn was soon on a plane, with medicine and supplies.

Americares was based in New Canaan. He lived in Darien. But he spent a lot of time in Westport.

“There was a real charm here,” he says. “It’s where I found clothes, people, life. The town had real character. It was hopping.”

His 4 years with Americares were “a tremendous experience.” Working in Rome on the Sudanese crisis, Heilshorn met Mother Teresa. “I actually saw a halo over her head,” he says. Within a year, he applied to and was accepted at Yale Divinity School.

He spent the next 20 years as a United Church of Christ minister, in Woodbury, Connecticut and New Hampshire. He acquired, he says, “a reputation for healing hands, and enthusiasm for spiritual development.”

But after “a bit of a life crisis” — and a divorce — he transitioned to business. He worked in medical sales, and did motivational speaking.

Two years ago, on vacation with his girlfriend — Westport attorney Susan Filan — Heilshorn had a massage. He felt rejuvenated. He realized that he too had a gift for both spiritual and physical healing.

Mark Heilshorn’s healing hands.

He studied and trained. When he was ready, Westport was the obvious place to be.

Dharma Massage Therapy opened in the Mill complex on Richmondville Avenue. With large windows and natural light, it has “great character and warmth. It’s an inviting, safe space,” Heilshorn says.

He believes his studio helps him fulfill his life purpose. “I transfer my spiritual energy to people,” he says.

His massages are “not just about technique and anatomy. I explain why we get triggers and knots, and how the body reacts to them. When bodies release pressure, energy, oxygen and nourishing blood rushes in to help. A good massage opens up and frees the body to breathe.”

His dharma technique, he says, couples spiritual and physical massage therapy.

His clients are typical Westporters: “active people with busy lives. They have pains in their knees, necks, lower backs. They want to play golf or tennis, with limbs or muscles that feel better.” They range in age from 20s to 90s.

But Heilshorn’s quest to fulfill his dharma is not over.

Right now, he’s training to become an equine massage therapist.

“Horses get stressed out too,” he notes. “They need massages. It’s a miraculous thing to watch them recover.”

The walls of Dharma Massage Therapy on Richmondville Avenue include this handsome image of a horse.

He won’t be giving horse massages on Richmondville Avenue. But you can enjoy a free 10-minute chair massage today (September 5) at the Westport Farmers’ Market (10 a.m. to 2 p.m. Imperial Avenue).

Pics Of The Day #870

One view of the Duck …

… and another (Photos/Lynn Untermeyer Miller)

Unsung Hero #114

Plenty of youth coaches deserve shout-outs. They work tirelessly on behalf of their sport. They pass on their knowledge and passion to young athletes.

Many times those youngsters include their own children. When their kids grow up — or stop playing — the coaches move on.

Jeb Backus was coaching long before his own children, Tripp and Jillian, played. He’ll coach long after too.

Jeb Backus

Jeb is a head coach for Westport travel baseball and softball. He’s also the head junior varsity softball coach at Staples High School, and serves Westport Little League as director of field operations.

He was a longtime player too. And a very good one.

Now Jeb is getting some long-overdue recognition. He’s been named to the Connecticut ASA Softball Hall of Fame.

Jeb started playing softball for the legendary Sonny’s team at 16. He was already a star baseball and football player at Staples High School. He continued with Sonny’s while at Flagler College, on a baseball scholarship. In 1987, he earned college All-America honors. In 2004, Jeb was named to Flager’s new Athletic Hall of Fame.

Jeb helped Sonny’s win 5 state championships. He pitched in 4 title games, and went 13-for-14 while driving in 17 runs.

Jeb then starred for other teams, at the national level. He added 5 more state championships at the Over-35 level.

Jeb Backus in action.

Jeb finished his 25-year softball career with a .625-plus batting average, and over 900 pitching wins. His teams earned more than 40 local crowns, and qualified for 19 national tournaments.

As a coach, his work with young players is legendary. Many former players, parents and friends look forward to honoring Jeb at the dinner (Sunday, October 13, Costa Azzurra restaurant, Milford, 4 p.m.). For ticket information, call 203-876-0078 or email lisa.dilullo@aol.com.

(To nominate an Unsung Hero, email dwoog@optonline.net)

School Calendar Showcases Student Art

The 2019-20 school year is underway.

But it hasn’t really started unless you’ve gotten your Westport Public Schools calendar.

How else will you know every concert, play and meeting, at every school in town?

Not to mention — far more importantly — every vacation, day off, even half days?

This year’s Westport edition — published by Friends of Westport Public Art Collections — is on sale now. (Including at Back to School Nights. Even without the calendar, you know when those are — right? It’s in last year’s calendar. Every year’s calendar runs 13 months: September to September.)


The cover of the 2019-20 Westport School Calendar was designed by Coleytown Elementary School kindergartner Beatrice Anderson. Her colorful image shows the a variety of school mascots.

The calendar is as Westport as it gets. Works from young local artists and photographers — representing every school — fill the pages. They’re culled from a record 646 entries (up from 178 in 2018!). They show our water, sunsets, woods, wildlife and more.

In addition to Back to School Night, you can order the Westport Schools Calendar online (click here). It’s available too at ASF, Earthplace and the Westport Library.

All proceeds support the Westport Public Art Collections.

The back cover — showing National Hall — is courtesy of Saugatuck Elementary School 3rd grader Liam Harrison.

If You’re Thinking Of Living In Westport …

… then this Sunday’s New York Times has a story for you.

We’re the subject of this coming weekend’s Real Estate section feature. Sometimes a neighborhood is featured; other times, a village or — like us — entire town.

The piece begins with a story about a British couple with 3 young daughters. They rented in Old Greenwich, but found it very “finance-driven. They wanted to be part of “a real community.”

The New York Times map of Westport.

Westport — with its “scenic waterfront, proximity to New York City and variety of restaurants, as well as its international contingent and cosmopolitan atmosphere” — offered “ nice balance of diversity, understated successful people and enough of a European vibe.”

1st Selectman Jim Marpe then touts Westport’s “global mind set,” along with the arts, education, abundant recreational facilities and — according to the Times — “2 downtowns.”

One of our downtowns serves as the main image for the New York Times profile of Westport. (Photo/Jane Beiles for New York Times)

“The lifestyle here caters to a range of interests,” Marpe says. “And to high expectations.”

Marpe notes, “We live in a place that dates back to the very start of this country. There is a sense of history here, but we are firmly focused on the future.”

The rest of the piece includes information on Westport’s geography and neighborhoods (I learned that there’s an area known as “In-Town,” which is “within walking distance of the main downtown”); the housing mix (there are 8,818 single-family houses, 104 multifamily homes, 546 condos in 21 complexes, 292 rental apartments in residential and mixed-use buildings, 4 affordable-housing complexes with 217 units, and 1 building with 36 age-restricted cooperative apartments); the price range ($350,000 to $22.5 million, with homes under $1 million selling fastest and waterfront properties listed at a premium).

An aerial view of the Saugatuck River.(Photo/Jane Beiles for New York Times)

There’s also this, headlined “The Vibe”:

From “The Twilight Zone” and “Bewitched” to the current sitcom “American Housewife,” Westport has long been cast as an affluent suburban backdrop for television. Stereotypes aside, the town blends a laid-back ambience with year-round cultural offerings, high-end shopping and dining, and a slew of outdoor activities.

“With roots as an artists’ colony, Westport remains a creative hub,” The Times continues. The Westport Country Playhouse, Community Theatre, Levitt Pavilion, Westport Writers’ Workshop, Library, and MoCA Westport (formerly the Westport Arts Center) are all mentioned.

Schools get mentioned too, including the district’s #1 ranking in the state (and 28th in the country) by Niche, and Staples’ 7th place state rating by U.S. News and World Report.

Girls soccer: one of the many great activities at Staples High School. (Photo by Jane Beiles for New York Times)

Finally, there’s a section on the “64- to 90-minute” commute (though Marpe notes that more people now come to Westport for work than leave), and a bit of history of the Minute Man monument.

It’s a very fair and balanced picture of our town.

It’s just a week after Labor Day. But clearly, every realtor in Westport has just been handed an early Christmas or Hanukkah gift.

(Click here for the full New York Times story.)

Meet Stacy Fowle: Westport’s Teacher Of The Year

Growing up in Westport, Stacy Jagerson was fortunate to have many superb teachers: “legends” like Dave Harrison, Sarah Herz, Nancy Roche and George Weigle.

She also had Jo Ann Davidson and Karen Ernst, at Kings Highway Elementary and Bedford Middle School, respectively. Both are former Westport Public Schools Teachers of the Year.

Stacy — now Stacy Fowle — moved back to Westport nearly 20 years ago. Her children have gone through the Westport schools. Last year, Enia Noonan — Fowle’s daughter Addy’s Staples High Italian teacher — was selected as district Teacher of the Year.

Every fall, a different educator is chosen Teacher of the Year. The newest honoree comes from Greens Farms Elementary School: 5th grade teacher Stacy Fowle.

She’s clearly learned a lot from her former instructors and current colleagues. But her career path was not always clear.

Stacy Fowle, with her Block “S” from the Staples High School soccer team. “That’s the last award I won, before Teacher of the Year,” she jokes.

At Staples she captained the 1984 soccer team, and sang in choir. But although she looks back on her 13 years in the Westport schools “very, very fondly” — and calls her education here “amazing” — Fowle was not always a standout student.

“There were some rough patches,” she admits.

She attended St. Lawrence University, but dropped out before graduation. She traveled in India for 6 months, then volunteered as an English as a Second Language instructor in New York City.

That inspired her to take grad school courses to become a teacher. But first, she realized, she needed an undergraduate diploma.

She completed her degree at Sacred Heart University, then entered the Bank Street program.

Fowle calls the school’s progressive approach “transformational.” Her educational philosophy — “very child-centered, not top-down lecturing” — was honed there.

Stacy Fowle

Fowle taught for 7 years at PS 234 in Tribeca. She spent the next 7 as a literacy consultant, helping teachers build reading and writing curriculums.

She was living in Brooklyn on September 11, 2001. By December, Fowle, her husband and 3 young children had moved to Westport. “We were ready,” she says.

She was ready too for a new challenge.

“Consulting is lonely,” she notes. “You’re an outsider. And you’re not always received well by teachers.”

Fowle missed having her own class, and “being on a team with colleagues.”

Meanwhile, she wanted to put all the ideas she was talking about into practice.

Fourteen years ago, she got that Greens Farms 5th grade job. She’s been there ever since. This district is a great fit, she says, for her child-centered approach to education.

Stacy Fowle (3rd from left), with her Greens Farms Elementary School “team”: Mary Ellen Barry, Chris Chieppo and Christine Theiss.

Teachers of the Year do not know who nominated them, or why. But Fowle suspects she was selected in large part because of her work around sustainability, and the composting program she helped develop at her school.

Students, staff, parents, cafeteria workers and custodians — all are involved. The concept has spread to other schools in the district. Non-school organizations have taken note too.

Fowle’s environmental consciousness comes from her family. Her mother, Sherry Jagerson, began composting in the 1970s. (Decades later, she was a driving force behind the creation of the Sherwood Mill Pond Preserve). Her brother Ty is a leader in the solar energy field.

Stacy Fowle with her brother Ty and mother Sherry, at the New York Climate March.

Fowle praises Westport school administrators — at her school, and the town school office — for their “full support” of Greens Farms’ composting initiative.

And — much like Miss Americas take on causes like civil rights or HIV education — Fowle is using her Teacher of the Year platform to raise awareness of sustainability.

In her speech at the public schools’ convocation — the first district-wide event of the year — and last night, when the Board of Education feted her, Fowle spoke passionately about the power of students to take on “hard work” like climate change.

“It’s real. It’s our future,” she says. “We need to talk about Westport schools as a leader not just in academics, arts and sports, but the environment.”

Greens Farms students avidly join in the “zero waste” effort.

Her words have already had an impact. At a restaurant the other night a Staples teacher recognized her, and came to Fowle’s table.

“She said she’s composting now. And she’s changing the way she works,” the Teacher of the Year says proudly.

Of course, Fowle adds, the school district honor is not hers alone. It recognizes “our initiative, and the work being done by so many kids and colleagues.” She also cites administrators, parents and community members, for their support.

So what’s been the reaction of her students, to the news that their instructor is Teacher of the Year?

Not much. After all, they’re only in 5th grade.

Besides, they’re too busy composting.

Pic Of The Day #869

Sherwood Mill Pond and Compo Cove (Drone photo/John Videler for Videler Photography)

Marlowe Goes To Kindergarten

School started a week ago. Students — even kindergartners, taking that giant step — adapted quickly.

It took parents a bit longer.

Eva Amurri is an actress and lifestyle blogger (“Happily Eva After“). She writes about food, beauty, wellness, and life here in Westport with her husband Kyle Martino and their 2 young children: home renovation projects, water safety, dealing with a toddler’s broken leg.

When Marlowe entered kindergarten, Eva shared her reflections with her worldwide followers. She wrote: 

I’ve always firmly believed that one cannot truly know the “type” of parent one will be or the exact values one will strive for in parenting until one actually becomes a parent. We all have preconceived notions, of course, but something different is hatched in your mind and heart when you hold your child in your arms for the first time and really connect to your hopes and dreams for that person. It’s a pretty difficult feeling to describe and a completely revolutionary one to experience.

Eva Amurri

When I became a mom, it became clear to me that the number one value system I wanted desperately to instill in my children revolved around kindnessself-love, and independence. I think the thing that would make me the most proud of my children, and of myself as a parent, is to see them out in the world one day, making brave and solid decision on their own and navigating their own lives…without me. Although it’s a bit of a stretch (and hella emotional), I would argue that sending a child to elementary school for the first time, is that very first sliver-of-an-example of independence from the “nest.”

Marlowe started kindergarten three days ago, and it has definitely been a huge step in my life as a mom. And it’s been a little traumatizing, especially because it hasn’t been traumatizing at all for her.

Do these two concepts seem completely at odds with each other? Yes, they do.  As do many emotions in the motherhood space, actually. So I figured I would unpack it and share a bit about how I’m feeling this week.

The first day of school was a big surprise to me. I had prepared to the max: packed everything the night before, labeled extra clothes in a bag, color coordinated everything, and asked around town for any information about the school, drop-off, pickup, and teachers. For a newbie, I felt ultra prepared, and as a Type A person, this made me feel great.

As I lay in bed the night before the first day, I played out the next morning in my mind — what I would feed the kids for breakfast, what I would wear, what she would wear, the photo we would take outside our new home, which route we’d take to school, and how I’d hug and kiss her as I left her at her cubby in her classroom.

Marlowe, on her first day of kindergarten.

The entire morning, everything went exactly as I had planned. I was feeling really level emotionally, and not at all on the brink of tears. In fact, I thought to myself “Wow! I’m surprising myself here! We are all doing great!”

Kyle and I walked her up the stairs in to the school foyer, and there were about 10 volunteer moms and teachers waiting there. They told me they’d take it from here.

And just like that, the most precious part of my plan, my “goodbye” was turned in to something totally different.  I knelt, knowing that I had to say goodbye for the first/last/whatever time to my 5-year old and send her in to this big, new place – and that I had to do it in front of all these people I didn’t know. I felt so anxious and exposed, and so stupid for expecting my alternate fantasy plan to happen.

It wasn’t these people’s fault, of course, but I felt hot tears spring to my eyes. It took everything in my power to give Marlowe a tight squeeze and a smile, and watch her turn to walk happily away before I walked quickly outside and sobbed.

Kyle was really nice about it and suggested we try to go down to her room to have a “redo goodbye.” I actually laughed and reminded him that the last thing our daughter needed was for me to be That Mom, who disregards school rules because she is an emotional mess. No, this breakdown was all about me, and really had nothing to do with how she was feeling. In reality, she was doing great! She hadn’t even looked back at us once and she skipped down the stairs to her classroom.

Little brother Major gives Marlowe a kiss. (Photos courtesy of HappilyEvaAfter.com)

While we walked home I thought a lot about the conflict of the 2 things I was feeling all at once: the pain of the next “phase” of life as a parent, and the swelling pride that my child is showing signs of the type of independence I have hoped for her all her life. I suddenly realized how easy it is as parents to get in our own way when we reach these crossroads.  Needing something for ourselves, while wanted something for our kids.

I definitely don’t have the answer for this, or any other examples besides my own life as a mom (obviously), but it has inspired me this week to remove more of my own judgments when I see conflicting behavior in parents I encounter. My own conflicts on the first day of school were internal, but they very well might not have been. I can see how we can need something for ourselves, and convince ourselves that it’s our children’s need instead.

When I picked her up from school, I was expecting her to be relieved to see us, maybe even emotional. I expected to see some kind of flicker on her little face that told me she had felt the length of the day in a new place and been so happy to return home.

Instead, she emerged flanked by 2 older kids, mid-conversation. She glanced at me and flashed me the brightest, happiest smile, and continued walking with her friends up the sidewalk from me all the way home.

This time, I watched in awe and with envy. I remembered my anxious youth, the different promises I would need to make to myself, the visible and invisible talismans, the routines – just to make it through the day at school.

And this time the tears came from relief. I’m so proud of my girl for being exactly who she is, and having her own story – separate from mine. I’m grateful for her confidence and independence, and while it stings a little to be an accessory now to her bigger and bolder life – I know she knows I’m always her touchstone right her waiting in case there’s a bad day.

(Click here to see Eva Amurri’s blog post.)

Pic Of The Day #868

Minute Man: The Hill and the Monument (Photo/Dan Woog)

Saugatuck Slice Will Be Extra Nice

Saugatuck may not have any room to expand.

But the Slice of Saugatuck does.

From Bridge Square to Railroad Place — and everywhere else — Slice of Saugatuck is packed. (Photo/Terry Cosgrave)

The 8th annual event — a popular food-tasting, shop-exploring, kids-romping, music-enjoying festival — pushes north and west this year.

This Saturday (September 7, 2 to 5 p.m.), the Slice includes newly opened  Mystic Market — the sandwich/salad/prepared foods/coffee mart on Charles Street — and the Goddard School, the daycare and childcare center on Saugatuck Avenue near Dunville’s (they’ll have a bouncy house).

They join more than 50 other businesses. All provide samples, and show off their merchandise or services (like Tae Kwan Do and dance). New this year too: boat rides, courtesy of Carefree Boat Club.

Firefighters at the Saugatuck station promote fire safety (and offer a seat in their very cool truck).

It’s a true community stroll. Kids love activities like an obstacle course, giant slide, balloon bender and Maker Faire area.

Adults appreciate 2 beer gardens (with wine as well), on Bridge Square and Railroad Place. Many restaurants offer specialty drinks (and hold happy hours after the Slice officially ends).

Saugatuck has always been about food. The Slice of Saugatuck festival is too.

People of all ages can hear bands like the 5 O’Clocks and School of Rock at 6 locations.

Music — not train horns and garbled announcements — fill the station air.

Tickets are $15 per adult (2 for $25). Children under 13 are $5; kids 5 and under go free. Admission (cash only) is available on site, starting at 1:50 p.m. Saturday.

Last year, the sponsoring Westport Weston Chamber of Commerce donated $4,000 of the proceeds to the Gillespie Center’s food pantry. The total over 7 years is $28,500.

Any way you slice it, that’s a great gift.