With the passage of time, it’s easy to forget the importance of lunch in the cafeteria to middle school students.
Chloe Robbin is an 8th grader at Bedford Middle School. Today, she speaks out about the lunch situation there. She emailed this to her principal, Dr. Adam Rosen, and school counselors too. Chloe writes:
Lunch is supposed to be a relaxing and fun time of day. You get a break from class to eat your food and socialize with your friends.
But I didn’t know that once I entered middle school, lunch would become so much more complicated. As new friend groups began to form, so did the competition for seats at lunch tables. I often see people sprinting from their class to lunch just to claim a seat.
At Bedford Middle School, lunch tables have 8 seats attached to them. That may sound like enough, but it really isn’t because Bedford has 3 elementary schools combined into 1. Because the goal is to meet new people and expand your circle, having the same amount of seats as the elementary school tables just doesn’t make sense.
Circular lunch tables only sit 8.
What happens when 9 people want to sit at a table? Or what if someone wants to invite a new friend to sit at a table? Now all of a sudden, somebody has to sit somewhere else- and not because nobody wants them there, but simply because there is no room.
For example, so far this year my lunch table has been cramped together with 2 people trying to share the tiny circular seats. Some people are even sitting on the floor or eating standing up, just because they want to be with their friends.
But we can do better.
At BMS, we are told to include others and make sure nobody ever feels left out. These are all very important messages that I completely agree with. However, it can be impossible to follow this when there is not enough room for everyone to join, and then lunchtime becomes the cause for a lot of drama.
When my friends sit at the outdoor tables that have benches instead of individual seats, we fit a significant amount more people than before. Just yesterday, we had 12 people sitting at the table, and I saw boys next to me with 15 people all sitting on the 4 benches around the table.
Students can cram together at outdoor tables.
Keeping all of this in mind, the best solution to this issue is that we should have long rectangular tables with benches instead of individual seats in the cafeteria because these tables are way more inclusive. In fact, I have noticed that Bedford has these tables folded underneath the staircase.
Long lunch tables, unused and stored underneath the BMS stairs. (All photos/Chloe Robbin)
This is not saying that we need to fill the cafeteria with all new lunch tables, but a few new ones would be just enough for students to have a better lunch experience and invite a few more friends to join.
Then lunch can go back to hopefully being a stress free time!
(“Students Speak” is a regular “06880” feature. Any student living or studying in Westport or Weston can submit a piece. Email 06880blog@gmail.com. To support this local blog, click here.)
Chloe Robbin
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Very quickly. Dr. Rosen responded. The BMS principal wrote:
Hi Chloe,
Thank you for such a thoughtful email. I especially appreciate that the motivation behind your suggestion is to make lunch more inclusive and to ensure that students have opportunities to be with their friends and welcome new people into their groups. That instinct — to notice when others might be left out and think about how we can make Bedford a more inclusive community — is something I admire and hope you continue to bring to our school.
Interestingly, the history of our cafeteria tables may surprise you. Years ago, Bedford did use the larger rectangular tables with benches that you described. At first glance, they seem like the obvious solution: If a table can hold more students, more friends can sit together. In practice, however, we found almost exactly the opposite.
When we had the larger rectangular tables, the competition to get to those tables was much more pronounced. A group of 10 or 12 students could essentially claim one large table, and inevitably there would be another 2 or 3 students who considered themselves part of that same friend group but could not fit. Those students often felt even more excluded because nearly their entire social group was sitting together without them. We received frequent concerns from students and parents across all 3 grades about exactly this issue.
Dr. Adam Rosen
There was another challenge as well. At a long rectangular table, a smaller group could occupy the middle and become the center of the conversation, while students sitting farther down the benches or at the ends could technically be “at the table” but still feel socially separated from the group.
Our move to round tables was very intentional and came after considerable work involving our School Climate Committee, PTA, students, and staff. The difference was remarkable. The concerns about exclusion decreased substantially once we moved to round tables.
One reason is that a round table puts everyone on equal footing—there is no “center” or “end” of the group. Just as importantly, the 8-seat tables encourage larger friend groups to divide into smaller, more fluid groups rather than having one large clique occupy a single table. Over time, that actually creates more opportunities for students to mix, move among friends, welcome others, and develop new relationships.
I completely understand that this can feel counterintuitive when 9 friends want to sit together and there are only 8 seats. Your observation is a very reasonable one. But after many years of watching both arrangements in action at Bedford, I can tell you that the larger tables unfortunately created substantially more social difficulties and feelings of exclusion than our current round tables do.
That does not mean we should ignore the concerns you raised. Students should never be sitting on the floor, standing to eat, or squeezing two people onto a seat in order to remain connected to their friends. Mrs. Harding and I will continue to pay attention to what is happening during lunch and work with students on ways to make the experience as positive and inclusive as possible.
Most importantly, please don’t lose the spirit behind your suggestion. You saw something affecting your peers, thought carefully about a possible solution, and took the initiative to respectfully advocate for a more inclusive Bedford. I hold that kind of leadership in very high regard. While experience has taught us that the particular solution of larger tables would likely work against the outcome you are hoping for, the outcome itself—helping students feel welcomed, connected, and included—is exactly what we want as well.
Thank you for caring enough about your school community to write to us.
Warmly,
Dr. Rosen
Senior Center director Wendy Petty calls the students “friendly, patient and encouraging with everyone they help. The program bridges the generation gap, and for the students, it all seems to come naturally. They give our participants reassurance and confidence, helping with tasks that can feel frustrating or overwhelming.”
