Alert “06880” reader Nathalie Jacob writes:
I have been disabled for 8 years. Before that, I did not have much knowledge or awareness about the different types of disabilities.
For the first time since I became disabled, these last months I’ve had 2 people in Westport come up to me at different times when I’m parking in a disabled spot, with my disabled parking permit hanging, to say “Hey, you’re not disabled!”
I politely answered, “Yes, I am. And you can see my disabled parking permit hanging in the car.” One man insisted, “No, you’re not.” Then he laughed, thinking he was being sort of funny.
The second person was a woman. She said, “But you look so normal, young, healthy and fit. You can’t be disabled!”
After explaining to them that I don’t need to share my medical records, I decided to explain why I am disabled. Once they heard the reason, they understood and apologized. They felt terrible after hearing the story.
I want to take this opportunity to remind people that not all disabilities come with a wheelchair. There are many different types.
None of us chose to be disabled. It’s a sensitive topic for us. Being disabled is probably the biggest trauma in my life. Having strangers laugh or diminish this is painful. Please be kind to us. We have been through enough.
Saying things like “you don’t look disabled” or “you look normal” doesn’t make us feel better. It actually makes us feel worse. Comments like those come from a good place — but they don’t work.
If you don’t know the person, don’t say anything. If you do know the person, just listen to them. There’s no need to reply.
There’s no need to tell us we “look normal” when we know we are not. It’s not a compliment.
It’s not easy to post this. But by sharing my story, I might help you all understand a little about how we feel.
#invisibledisability #partiallyblind #braintumorawareness
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