Random Gifts Bring Wide Smiles

When Brianna Kitka was growing up near Rochester, New York, she and her sister Annyssa were surprised — and delighted — by occasional “just because” moments.

For no reason other than “we’re thinking of you,” their parents gave the girls small gifts or simple cards. But the impact was huge.

Years later — after living in Fairfield for 16 years, then moving to the Bay Area for her husband Tyler’s job — Brianna’s daughter Madison headed back east, to Syracuse University.

Brianna Ricks

Every Monday, Brianna (now Brianna Ricks) put a tiny gift in the mail, just to stay connected. But in January of 2015, soon after Madison returned to school from Christmas break, Brianna looked online for a care package. Everything was either expensive, or junk food.

Her sister — now Annyssa Cantor, who lives in Wyckoff, New Jersey — sympathized. She too has 2 kids in college. (Brianna’s son John-Austin is now at Syracuse too.)

Jokingly, the women talked about starting their own online gift business.

Six months later, MeToYouBox.com was live.

Brianna and Annyssa went to gift shows. They surveyed college students, to see what they wanted. Among the answers: blankets, stainless steel water bottles, tumblers, funky food items and puzzles.

This coming year, Me To You Boxes will include metal straws. “This generation is very environmentally conscious,” Brianna says.

Contents of a recent Me To You Box.

Not every item is a hit. The women thought fragrances and colognes would be perfect. It turns out that most people — students included — want to pick their own.

But every kid — everyone, in fact — loves the element of surprise. “When a package comes out of the blue, just because someone is thinking of you, that’s so cool,” Brianna says.

There are 3 ways parents (and grandparents, aunts, uncles, siblings, teachers, coaches, friends…) can send a box.

You can sign up for a monthly shipment. You won’t know what’s in it until the beginning of the month; every month there are 4 to 6 different — but cool and fun — items.

You can also go on the website, and pick out a “pre-curated” package.

Or you you can build your own box.

Brianna and Annyssa thought the first option — the monthly one — would be the most popular.

Nope. Building your own box is — by far.

“People love the convenience of not having to shop, package and ship something,” Brianna notes. “But they’re still in control. And they know what their own kids want better than anyone.”

College care packages are Me To You Box’s bread and butter. But the sisters have added boxes for weddings, birthdays, special events — you name it.

Companies buy boxes for their interns too, Brianna says.

From her Westport home, she manages the website, writes the blog and manages social media.

Annyssa Cantor

With help from local students, her sister in New Jersey takes care of filling the boxes, creating personalized note cards for each one, and shipping them all.

“She provides great customer service too, whenever a person has a question or needs help — perhaps a student has an allergy,” Brianna says.

“Giving back” is ingrained in the company’s mission. Every year Brianna and Annyssa donate a portion of their profits to Julia’s Butterfly Foundation, which provides assistance to families of chronically and terminally ill children.

Brianna’s daughter Madison is out of college. She’s 23, in grad school, working in a physician assistant program. But she has not “aged out” of receiving Me To You boxes.

Right before starting final exams, she texted Mom a photo of her disappointed face. She was stressed, she said — and about that Me To You Box…?!

“I sent a box right away,” Brianna laughs. “I realized this care package thing never gets old. And you’re never too old to enjoy receiving one.”

(Click here for the You To Me Box website.)

Pic Of The Day #860

Nearing the end of summer, at South Beach (Photo/Amy Schneider)

Photo Challenge #243

Readers often stump me with Photo Challenge submissions. They send images of places I can’t quite recognize, have not noticed before, or never seen.

But I never thought I’d be stumped by a picture of  Compo Beach.

Until I saw Matt Murray’s shot. His Photo Challenge last week showed an old-fashioned bottle opener — with a box underneath, presumably for the tops — mounted on what looked like wood. (Click here for the photo.)

Matt said it was on a utility pole at Compo Beach, on the Soundview exit road at Fairfield Avenue. I took his word for it.

I’m not the only one who noticed it — though not many have. Kathe Damman, Dan Aron (who lives on Soundview, and walks by it every day) and Michele Whybrow quickly checked in with the right answer.

So now, readers — including myself — want to know:

  • Who put this bottle opener at Compo?
  • Why? Was it a joke, a luxury — or a necessity?
  • And when? Glass bottles have long been banned from that part of the beach.

If you can shed any light on this Great Bottle Opener Mystery, click “Comments” below. And do the same if you know where in Westport you’d find this week’s Photo Challenge:

(Photo/Bill Dedman)

Police Step Up Bike Traffic Enforcement. Resident Sees A Larger Issue.

It’s not quite Times Square. But certain parts of Westport — Hillspoint Road and South Compo from Elvira Mae’s to the Minute Man, say — attract a wide variety of folks.

Walkers, joggers, people with strollers and/or dogs, bicyclists, motorcyclists, drivers — all enjoy the beautiful, relaxing scenery.

And all battle for limited territory: roads, shoulders, sidewalks.

Beautiful — and not much room.

On Friday, the Westport Police Department — acting on “a number of complaints related to cyclists using town roads recklessly, with little to no regard for posted traffic control signage and other rules of the road” — announced a bicycle traffic enforcement campaign.

Officers — concentrated in and around Compo Beach — will be on the lookout for cyclists who blow through stop signs, fail to ride single file in the direction of traffic, or don’t use hand signals.

The scene yesterday, at Soundview Avenue by Hillspoint Road.

The stepped-up enforcement is not anti-biker, the department says. Rather, it’s to “educate and ensure the safety of cyclists, motorists and pedestrians alike while all must share our roads.”

A Compo Beach resident applauded the campaign. He’s tired of trying to enjoy the beauty of the area, only to have “a 10-person bike torpedo zoom through at twice the speed limit, not stopping at signs and crosswalks.”

Not Westport. But to some people, it feels like this.

However, he adds, cyclists should not bear all the blame.

“The bigger and sadder issue is the underlying anger and hate. Bikers are afraid of cars. Walkers are afraid of bikers. And on it goes,” he says.

“Everyone comes from fear and anger, rather than the gratefulness of walking or riding near our spectacular beach. In the short term, the town will address the danger that exists. But in the longer term, how do we as a society address the fear and anger that this issue is simply a symptom of?”

After being on the receiving end of rudeness from cyclists — and scared by them — he says he tried to put himself in their shoes.

He realized how much they fear biking next to an SUV driver preoccupied with his or her cellphone (which the Police Department also addresses).

His own sons love to ride. “I can’t default to the easy ‘bikers are wrong,'” the Compo area resident says. “So I see this as, short term, let’s enforce the road rules to make people safe.

“Longer term, let’s figure out how we can become more tolerant and accepting of others. Let’s be more grateful, and less grumpy.”

Pic Of The Day #859

Nyala Farm, early morning (Photo/Simon Gilbert)

He-Man Returns; Westporter Helps

“He-Man” is coming back to life.

And one of “the men” responsible is a Staples High School graduate.

Rob David is executive producer of Netflix’s new anime series. Called “Masters of the Universe: Revelation,” it will take place in a Mattel-inspired world, and focus on unresolved story lines from the classic 1980s show. It picks up on “what may be the final battle between He-Man and Skeletor,” says executive producer Kevin Smith.

Rob David (left) and Kevin Smith.

David — a 1992 Staples alum, where he was active in Players and co-president of Model UN — is well suited to the task. He’s vice president of Mattel TV, and author of He-Man: The Eternity War. 

After graduating from Columbia University, he wrote for several New York-based animated series, including “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.” He now lives in California, with his wife and twins. (She is in charge of online content for Sesame Workshop, and has helped develop their highly regarded autism, LGBT and military family inclusion material.)

Staples classmate Evan Stein says, “Having read Rob’s reboot stories of He-Man and She-Ra that he wrote when he moved to LA, and the fanboy favorite crossover of He-Man and the ThunderCats, I’m sure this will be a runaway success.”

The original He-Man animated series ran from 1983-85. Set on the mythical planet of Eternia, it featured Prince Adam — transformed into He-Man — as the most powerful man in the universe.

He-Man

Pic Of The Day #858

Pure joy yesterday, at Sherwood Mill Pond (Photo/Merri Mueller)

Positive Directions Offers Suicide Help

This week’s stories on suicide have stirred many responses. 

They’ve also shined a light on the good work so many people and organizations do to de-stigmatize, raise awareness of, and prevent this tragic, and increasing, cause of death.

Denique Weidema-Lewis — director of prevention at Positive Directions, the Westport-based substance abuse and mental health service — offers condolences to the Snedeker family, and appreciation for their post. She adds:

Tragically, the suicide rate has risen by about 30% in the past 20 years. This terrible increase reflects a need for public health efforts throughout our communities, focusing on creating a healthy culture, strengthening our families, developing workplace wellness, teaching coping skills, and making services available and affordable.

 

As someone who has been affected by suicide  both professionally and personally, I want to share some local resources on how we as a community are working to prevent suicide.

In recognition of National Suicide Prevention week (September 8-14), Positive Directions will host 2 free gatekeeper trainings.

Just as people trained in CPR and the Heimlich maneuver save thousands of lives each year, people trained in Question, Persuade, Refer (QPR) learn how to recognize the warning signs of a suicide crisis, and how to question, persuade, and refer someone to help.

QPR will be offered at our office (90 Post Road West; click here to register) on Wednesday, September 11, from 6:30 to 8 p.m., and at Brien McMahon High School in Norwalk on Thursday, September 12 (6:30 to 8 p.m.; (click here to register).

Additionally, we are proud supporters of the Connecticut Chapter of American Foundation of Suicide Prevention, and help sponsor the annual Westport Out of the Darkness Walk at Sherwood Island. This year’s event is Saturday, October 26 (10 a.m.; click here for more information).

The walk raises awareness and funds that allow the AFSP to invest in research, create local educational programs, advocate for public policy, and support survivors of suicide loss.

We encourage everyone to be aware of resources. Locally, we are members of The HUB CT which provides behavioral health resource guides (click here for great information).

If you or someone you know needs help, call the National Lifeline 24/7 (800-273-TALK), or call 211 to be connected to a mobile crisis service near you in Connecticut.

The Crisis Text Line is another great option: text “hello” to 741741.

Friday Flashback #156

Regular readers know “06880” often laments the loss of things that make a town a community.

Movie theaters. Mom-and-pop shops.

And bars.

I’m talking about real bars. Not bars attached to restaurants, like so many places in town: Spotted Horse, Tavern on Main, Arezzo, Little Barn, you name it.

And not restaurants with very active bars, like Viva’s and the Duck.

No. I mean actual, go-and-stay-and-drink-and-maybe-have-peanuts-but-a-place-where-everybody-knows-your-name bar.

The Westport equivalent of Cheers.

Parsell’s Purcell’s was that kind of bar, on the Post Road near Southport. So was the Red Galleon, across from Green’s Farms Elementary School.

Ship’s Lantern was too, downtown on the Post Road (before it become The Ships nearby — which today is Tiffany 🙁 ).

Then there was “The Bridge.”

Formally Ye Olde Bridge Grill — though there was nothing formal about it — The Bridge sat on Post Road West, right over the bridge (aha!), a couple of doors down from National Hall (at the time, Fairfield Furniture), and directly opposite Art’s (now Winfield) Deli.

It was around for years, but hit its stride in the 1970s and ’80s. With generous owner Dave Reynolds, popular manager/bartender Dennis Murphy, a large and loyal bunch of regulars, and a jukebox that played the same songs over and over and over again (“Domino” by Van Morrison, anyone?), The Bridge was the kind of gathering spot we just don’t have any more.

Owner Dave Reynolds …

(It was also the sponsor of an Under-23 soccer team of the same name. Stocked with the best Westport players of its time, and their friends from the college and semi-pro ranks, it won all kinds of state and regional championships. After every match, players and fans celebrated you-know-where.)

… and manager Dennis Murphy (standing, left). He coached the Bridge Grille team to many state titles.

Things change. Rents rose. The drinking age rose too, from 18 to 21.

The Bridge has been gone for 3 decades or so. Today it’s an antiques shop, or something like that.

Cheers!

Quad-Town, Bipartisan Effort Aims For Accurate Census

Among other things, the decennial national census is used to apportion seats in the US House of Representatives.

After the 2000 count, Connecticut lost one of our seats. We’d been at 6 since 1930; now we’re down to 5.

The census is also used to allocate funds for programs like Head Start, food stamps and other social service projects. As well, it provides the most accurate picture of exactly who lives where — information that’s important for businesses, scientists, sociologists and many others to know.

The census begins next year. And — if a coalition of civic-minded volunteers in lower Fairfield County has its way — it will provide a very accurate count of at least this small slice of America.

“Norwalk to Bridgeport” is a non-partisan effort. Several Westporters are involved, as are men and women in Fairfield, and the 2 cities bracketing them.

The other day, one of them talked about their work.

Deb Howland-Murray graduated from Staples in 1968. She moved away after college, but has lived here for the last 34 years. An illustrator, portrait artist and diversity educator, she’s active in a variety of arts groups.

She’s politically active. But, she says, Norwalk to Bridgeport transcends party lines. She and co-chair Sandy Lefkowitz helped organize this group to bring local citizens of many stripes together, in a cause that affects everyone.

The goal is simple: spread the word, so as many people in the area answer census questions as possible.

To do so, they’ve done things like organize a September 17 training session in Bridgeport. Attendees will learn how to make presentations about the census. Then they’ll go out into their communities — to churches, schools, civic clubs, etc. — and do just that.

Deb Howland-Murray

Norwalk to Bridgeport is also compiling lists of local organizations they can reach out to, to pass the census word. They’re creating a calendar of events, so they can attend and pass out information there.

The US Census Bureau has printed materials. But, Deb says, it’s not quite user-friendly. She and her fellow volunteers are creating a 1-page handout, with graphics.

Bridgeport and Norwalk already have “Complete Count” committees — local groups working to ensure an accurate census. Westport and Fairfield do not.

“There’s a lot of suspicion about the census,” Deb says, noting the recent controversy about asking a citizenship question next year. “What’s going on in Washington is happening there. Here, we just want to provide accurate information. All we want is get people counted. We don’t care about their politics.”

Historically, she says, “the more diverse the community, the lower the participation. That hurts those communities. They need funding that comes from accurate counts. We need accurate representation. The census affects everyone.”