Monthly Archives: January 2013

If You Can Say Something Nice…

Reacting to the recent flame wars on “06880” — hostilities emerged over the age-old tradition of decorating the Minuteman statue and, almost laughably, whether or not the comments section has gotten too hostile — alert reader Ginny McGovern wrote:

People sure do have time on their hands, and quite a lot of anger. After such a stressful and tragic close to 2012, I envisioned more reflection and feeling fortunate for  Westport by Westporters.

It seems like you may not have eaten for days. Maybe you need a break.

being niceYour next column should be “Dan’s Day Off.” Everyone (anonymous or not) should write something appreciative/complimentary about one other Westporter or person who works in Westport.

That way a) you won’t have to shut down the comments and b) it will be so short that when you return from your day off you can read it for 3-5 minutes and hop in bed. The perfect day.

It ties in with the Westport Kindness Project too, now that I think of it.

Thanks, Ginny!

It’s a great idea. Readers, get to work! Click “Comments” to say something nice.

I’ll still monitor responses, of course. But something tells me this won’t reach the record of 293, set just last week on the very important topic of flowers in the Minuteman’s musket.

Adam Marcus Chainsaws The Competition

As a senior at Staples High School in 1986, Adam Marcus did an independent study in English. He read every Shakespeare play, and wrote a critical essay about each.

He and his teacher — Kay Blumhardt — both loved it.

The experience — along with his rewarding work with Staples Players, beginning at age 11 in a summer production — helped spur his current career.

He and his wife have written Texas Chainsaw 3D.

The Bard — and Adam’s Players mentor Al Pia — would be proud.

Texas Chainsaw 3D

“Texas Chainsaw 3D” is not just a direct sequel to the 1974 classic Texas Chainsaw Massacre. It also massacred the competition this weekend. It made $10.2 on Friday — opening day — to blow past Django Unchained and, trailing those 2, The Hobbit and Les Mis.

Audiences loved it. Just as important to Adam, so did Tobe Hooper, the director of the original.

Though Adam has vast experience in the film industry — his romantic comedy So You Like This Girl won a student Best Picture award when he made it at NYU — Adam always credits Westport for his start.

And his inspiration.

For location, too. This Girl was shot here, with 200 background actors.

Adam Marcus (right) and his brother Kipp, in their Staples days.

Adam Marcus (right) and his brother Kipp, in their Staples days.

One of Adam’s best friends — from age 6 on — was Noel Cunningham. Noel’s father Sean is a famed producer/director, including Spring Break and Friday the 13th.

Sean helped Adam break into Hollywood. At 23, he became the youngest director New Line ever hired. The project was Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday.

(The Hollywood Reporter, commenting on that 1993 2nd-place box office opening, headlined: “‘The Fugitive Wins; Rest of Box Office Goes To Hell.”)

Adam directed the 1999 film Let It Snow, and shot it in Westport. His brother Kipp Marcus wrote it. And it starred Bernadette Peters, who came out of a long retirement for it.

Adam and Kipp collaborated on many TV writing projects, working with big names like Ron Howard. Adam and his wife Debra Sullivan — they celebrate their 20th anniversary next month — also worked together often. Their credits include Conspiracy, starring Val Kilmer.

Debra Sullivan and Adam Marcus.

Debra Sullivan and Adam Marcus.

Adam and Debra’s next project — The Plantation, a remake of the 1943 cult classic I Walked With a Zombie — begins production in April.

Clearly, horror films are in Adam’s, um, blood.

“In this day and age, when everyone has a huge TV and surround sound, there has to be a reason to go to the theater,” he says.

“Horror and comedy are the 2 genres that you need to watch in a group.”

At Friday’s night’s opening, he notes, “the entire audience was screaming together. You can’t get that experience at home.”

Adam Marcus, with friends and admirers celebrate the opening night of "Texas Chainsaw 3D" at LA's Grove Theater.

Adam Marcus (bottom row, 3rd from left), with friends and admirers celebrate the opening night of “Texas Chainsaw 3D” at LA’s Grove Theater.

That concept of the importance of the audience comes directly from Players director Al Pia, Adam says.

And it was at Staples, Adam adds, that he learned so much about drama, theater and writing.

Gratefully, he says, “I’ve never had to work a day in another profession. I owe it all to Westport.”

But make no mistake: Hollywood is hard work. In the midst of The Plantation, Adam is already looking ahead to the project that follows.

It’s a remake of “The Pied Piper.”

Standing in for Hamelin will be: Westport.

Save The Children May Soon Sell

Big changes may be coming to downtown Westport.

Save the Children — the 94-year-old international aid organization — is soliciting bidders for its Wilton Road international headquarters. Private Capital Group recently sent out “For Sale” information on 54 Wilton Road. That’s Save the Children’s address, and photos showed the exterior of the 58,771-square foot building.

Save the Children moved to the west bank of the Saugatuck River in the mid-1970s. Before that, the low-slung 2-story offices housed Famous Artists School.

Save the Children's Wilton Road headquarters.

Save the Children’s Wilton Road headquarters.

“Last year, when the news broke that Save the Children was repositioning people around the world, I had an intuition they’d leave the building,” says Lou Gagliano, chairman of Downtown 2020. He has a keen interest in any potential moves: His committee is developing a master plan for downtown Westport.

Lou has heard “unconfirmed rumors” that the 2.6-acre site may be sold for townhouses, or mixed retail/residential use.

Any change from offices would have profound implications for downtown Westport.

Save the ChildrenIf townhouses are built, Lou says, a walking bridge across the river — one of the most intriguing parts of a new downtown plan — would be an important selling point.

Also key: discussion of impacts any changes would have on Wilton Road traffic.

“I’m positively disposed” to residential development if Save the Children sells, Lou says. He is waiting to hear who any bidders might be.

He adds: “This really emphasizes the need for a comprehensive town plan.”

Remembering Ken Brummel

Ken Brummel — who was named principal of Bedford Junior High School at just 28 years old, then served 12 years as Westport superintendent of schools — died last weekend at his home in Palm Springs, California. He was 77.

The Michigan State University graduate began his career as an English teacher in the Detroit school system.

Ken Brummel

Ken Brummel

After earning a master’s degree in secondary education from Harvard in 1959, he became a teacher and administrator in Glenbrook, Illinois. Ken joined the Westport school system in 1964, as principal of Bedford Junior High.

While superintendent of schools here, he was a strong advocate for student achievement and teacher preparedness. He received his doctorate from Columbia Teachers College in 1979.

After leaving Westport, Ken served as superintendent in Grosse Pointe, Michigan, and Orange County and Lancaster, California. He retired from education in 1992, and was involved in small business in Southern California.

Ken is survived by his wife, Josephine; their children Lisa, Beth and Peter, and 4 grandchildren. He is also survived by his long-time business partner, Darnell Harrison II. Burial will be private.

——————————————————————–

Former Westport art instructor Jim Wheeler began his Westport teaching career in 1964 — the same year as Ken. It was his 1st year teaching, and Ken’s 1st year as principal.

At the initial faculty meeting in September, Jim was astonished to see Ken introduce the entire staff — each one, by name.

Ken Brummel, playfully hiding behind a portrait of himself.

Ken Brummel, playfully hiding behind a portrait of himself.

“As an educator, Ken had no equal,” Jim says. “He was never satisfied with the status quo. He was forward thinking, and had the courage of his convictions and ideas.”

A prime example was what became knows as the “Bedford curriculum.” Each faculty member was encouraged to write a curriculum that would be integrated schoolwide, the last 2 weeks of school.

Some classes ran for half an hour; some for half a day. Students could use the blocks any way they chose. The only requirement was that they fill their time with classes.

“We were both congratulated and condemned by people across the country for giving kids that kind of power over their education,” Jim recalls.

“I will always be grateful to Ken for having had the opportunity to stand with him in an endeavor that shaped some of my views about the one-sided manner in which decisions regarding educational practices are made.”

Jim was also grateful for Ken’s love of a good time. The Brummels often threw parties. And, Jim says, “on more than one occasion Ken suggested to several of us that we should go to New York after school on a Friday. So off we went — to the consternation of our spouses.”

Ken Brummel this past Thanksgiving. He is flanked by his son Peter, and grandson Owen.

Ken Brummel this past Thanksgiving. He is flanked by his son Peter, and grandson Owen.

Eat!

Over the past few years, Westport’s pizza places have multiplied like mushrooms.

The latest entrant — with a menu that includes plenty of other Italian dishes — is EATalia. (Get it?)

What makes this new restaurant blog-worthy is that it replaces another Italian place: Joe’s Pizza. The site is the Post Road, opposite the old post office.

But Joe’s did not disappear. It relocated up Main Street, to the small shopping center past Avery Place that includes Sally’s Place.

That puts it just a few pies away from Westport Pizzeria — which hasn’t changed anything (except a few prices) for 43 years, to the delight of pizzaphiles everywhere.

And — to complete the circle — the landlord for EATalia is Mel Mioli. That’s right: the owner of Westport Pizzeria.

Mamma mia!

pizza

Peter Propp’s Meta-Start-up

It sounds like a tech version of those Russian nesting dolls: starting a start-up whose goal is to create more start-ups.

That’s the best way to describe the Stamford Innovation Center. And — in a city known more for high finance than high tech, and a county filled with corporate commuters — it’s already made its out-of-the-box mark.

Peter Propp

Peter Propp

Westporter Peter Propp is the SIC’s vice president for marketing. He’s a passionate advocate for the organization, whose cooperative workspace, creative programming, networking opportunities and educational events offer entrepreneurs and early-stage start-ups a place to gather, collaborate, and innovate.

Peter has plenty of experience in the tech world. Much of it came at IBM, where he was a global marketer in charge of, among other products, the WebSphere Application Server and Studio.

IBM is to start-ups as GM is to Tesla. But Peter has leaped into his new role with gusto — and many good ideas.

“I like starting things,” he says. He points with pride to FairCo TEEM (Fairfield County Tech, Environment, Entertainment and Marketing) meetups. He helped grow the group from 4 people gathered above Bogey’s in the summer of 2010, to nearly 400 members. Events are held throughout the area.

“There are so many smart, accomplished, experienced people here,” Peter says. “A lot of them would like to reduce the hours they spend on the train every day.”

But they need a different set of skills to bring their ideas to reality. They need angel investors. They need developers to help them build prototypes.

Stamford Innovation Center logo

The Stamford Innnovation Center helps. Housed in a beautiful 1907 Beaux-Arts building — the city’s old Town Hall — across from the mall, its high ceilings and marble somehow help nurture 21st century ideas and contacts.

Right now, a start-up is building a platform for lawyers doing due diligence on acquisitions. Two women from Wharton have created a business that helps students manage their education debt.

In addition to workspace, SIC hosts events. Nine are scheduled for January, including discussions, presentations and meet-ups.

During the Stamford Innovation Center Startup Weekend, developers and designers spent 54 hours creating ideas -- then pitching them, in a competitive setting.

During the Stamford Innovation Center Startup Weekend, developers and designers spent 54 hours creating ideas — then pitching them, in a competitive setting.

Peter calls the Stamford Innovation a “meta-startup.” That’s not a term he was likely to hear at IBM.

He enjoyed his work in corporate America. But, he says, in that world “you need permission and consensus for everything.”

The start-up world is all about “how much you can do, and how quickly.”

At the Stamford Innovation Center, the answer is: “lots, and real fast.”

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The Minuteman Statue Reacts To Yesterday’s “06880” Comments Discussion

Minuteman 2

Kim Hamer: In Grief, Exactly What They Need

During her husband’s 2nd bout with cancer, Kim Hamer realized that her friends’ oft-repeated, well-intentioned phrase — “If you need anything, let me know!” — was spectacularly unhelpful.

“I got very angry. I was so tired of trying to manage everything so Art could focus on himself,” recalls Kim, a 1982 Staples graduate and the mother of 3 children.

“I felt like I had to guess what they meant by ‘anything.’ Did that mean I could call them up at 3 a.m. and sob? Or ask them to pick up my kids somewhere, or the tampons I forgot to buy? Or ask them to just come sit with me?”

Art, Kim and their 3 children, 4 Christmases ago.

Art, Kim and their 3 children, 4 Christmases ago.

Art died in April 2009. The Stage IV lymphoma cancer he’d beaten 3 years before — beaten well enough to run a triathlon — had returned 4 months earlier. He was 44 years old.

Kim — a graduate of Emerson College who had worked with Outward Bound and Wildl Oats, run a private school, then started a California-based business to help parents afford private school, all while doing triathlons herself — began what she called a “widow blog.” Her mission was to tell people how to help friends in need.

She had in mind the people who offered very specific assistance. A neighbor said, “I’ll store milk, eggs and bread in my refrigerator. You can come over any time — even 2 a.m. — to get what you need.”

Another asked the last time she’d changed her car’s oil.

“I cried,” Kim says. “Art always did that. This woman said she’d take care of it. She told me to leave my keys in my mailbox — that was perfect, I didn’t have to see her. She said she’d leave her own keys for me, in case I needed her car.”

Kim Hamer

Kim Hamer

Kim knows that offering the right kind of help is not easy. “I would have said, ‘Let me know if I can do anything’ too,” she says. “And then I’d check in 6 months later. I wouldn’t want to bug someone. I would have stayed on the sidelines.”

But having gone through such an intense experience — twice — Kim realized more was needed. The result is ExactlyWhatTheyNeed.com, a very personal yet truly universal blog aimed at friends of people going through serious illness (or divorce, job loss or other trauma).

There are specific suggestions. The most recent are aimed at this holiday season: Babysit the kids. Take the person to a party. Help order gifts online. All those tasks, Kim says, can be overwhelming to someone in the midst of a crisis.

Special sections include “Help From a Distance,” “Kid to Kid” and “Sneaky Ways to Help” (here’s one: leave fresh flowers on a doorstep).

Kim also describes what not to say. “I know how you feel” is almost always untrue. “It’s God’s will” can “make a mockery of the hurt we feel,” she writes.

“Instead say only this.  ‘You are not alone. We love you. Your pain breaks my heart. Please know that I will be there for you.’”

Kim logoKim wants to be “the voice” for those people. “Six, 12, 24 months later, they still need someone to call up and say, “I miss so-and-so too.”

Kim adds, “We have the power and ability to make a difference in someone’s life.” And that difference is important long after the initial ordeal is over.

“The 2nd year is the slammer,” Kim says. “That’s when you realize it’s all real. The person you loved is not coming back. Most people have moved on with their lives, but you may not be ready to.”

Kim says her most joyful moments now — more than 3 years after her husband’s death — are when “people come up randomly and share stories of Art. One woman always smiles when she tells different things she remembers.

“That’s when I know his presence is missed by others outside of our family.”

Kim Hamer and her children today.

Kim Hamer and her children today.

Comments On “Comments”: An “06880” Plea

Sunday’s “06880” post — based on a reader’s request for insights into the Westport and Weston school systems — elicited plenty of reasoned, insightful and well-written responses. The online discussion was thoughtful, nuanced and robust.

Lately, that’s a rarity.

The “Comments” section here too often resembles the Wild West — not Westport.

This rendering of the new Y unleashed a torrent of hostility -- much of it anonymous.

This rendering of the new Y unleashed a torrent of hostility — much of it anonymous.

Everyone knows that every Westporter has an opinion about everything. Taxes, education, transportation, downtown, infrastructure, recreation, Winslow Park, Baron’s South — if it exists, we’re experts on it.

One of the reasons I started “06880” nearly 4 years ago was to be able to express my opinions about my hometown.

And to give everyone else — those who grew up here, live here now, or somehow wander through this town (or site) — a chance to express theirs, too.

One of the founding tenets of “06880” was that anonymous comments were okay. The First Amendment is a powerful force (though it does not apply to private blogs), and from the beginning readers took advantage of the option for anonymity to toss in their 2 cents’ worth.

Some were private citizens, eager to talk but worried what their friends and neighbors might think. Others were town officials, happy for a chance to chime in without bringing their names and titles into the discussion.

But — month by month, year by year — the thoughtful anonymous commenters have been elbowed aside by trolls. Bozos. Haters.

Troll -- or "06880" commenter?

Troll — or “06880” commenter?

Those are not my descriptions. They’re yours — expressed to me in emails, by readers frustrated that the comments section has devolved into a mud pit of finger-pointing, name-calling and real nastiness.

I have always responded the same way to those emails: “I am a firm believer in the First Amendment. I don’t like what some people say, but I defend their right to say it. I’m keeping the ‘anonymous’ option open.”

Three recent stories, though — two on gun control (right after Newtown, and on Monday), the other on the Y (really, just 3 architectural drawings of the new building) — may be a tipping point.

Scott Smith — who always comments using his real name, alias-sounding though it is — emailed me:

I know you don’t agree, but I think the policy of allowing anonymous posters devalues what has become a vital community resource.

I know full well the online trusim that uninhibited commenting results in an inexorable drive to the lowest common denominators among us. Trolls, crackpots, hatemongers and the uninformed always come to dominate and ultimately drive out the more insightful people who might wish to add their views.

I see it as a shame as I, perhaps naively, wish for more enlightened discussion among a group I willingly choose to be a part of. But who wants to 1) stoop to their level, 2) get attacked personally, or 3) engage in an unfair debate?

Not me, and it seems, increasingly, many other loyal, intelligent denizens of “06880.” Though many of your own items are wonderfully insightful and uplifting, the comments on your blog are all too often just the opposite.

Scott noted that when he argued in the comments section for a policy in which commenters could use pseudonyms only with my blessing, and for a reason, he was attacked by an anonymous person — and his place of employment cited.

He said — and others have, too — that serious commenters no longer contribute their thoughts. They’ve been driven away by the level of vitriol.

Another commenter who believes "06880" is Number One.

Another commenter who believes “06880” is Number One.

Scott acknowledges that “the unbridled free-for-all of anonymous commenting can be fun and liberating. Certainly revealing. I know you like a certain amount of free-spirited rabble-rousing.

“But like most libertarian exercises, the end result is usually excess, anarchy and ultimately negative consequences. Sadly, we are not an altogether enlightened species. Too often, dumb and dumber triumph over good and gooder.”

Scott admits he’ll “probably keep checking in on ‘06880’ every day. There is too much good stuff on it, from you and occasionally from others.” But he may not check the comments.

Or, he says, “I may join the dark side and start posting anonymously. (I bet I would be vicious.)”

Neither solution is appealing, he says. So he turns to me for the answer.

Thanks a lot.

I’m not sure of the solution. Personally approving every comment would take far too much time — and because of the lag, it would kill the real-time conversation that can make a blog like this so valuable.

I could ban certain commenters. Again, more work for me. (And not foolproof.)

I could require names. But I’ve seen blogs that do that, and the discussions on them are about as lively as a Trappist monastery.

This is not how I want to spend my time.

This is not how I want to spend my time.

I could sweep through the comments section every so often, deleting those I deem overly nasty, personal, unsubstatiated or whatever. But that too takes time. Plus the comments would already have been seen. Plus it seems way too school-marmish for me.

There may be a way to have commenters register, with their names and emails, before posting. It’s an extra step or 2 for the commenters — though time they could use to compose their thoughts logically, perhaps? — but that’s not foolproof either. It’s not always easy verifying which names are real.

So maybe the burden isn’t on me after all. Maybe it’s on you. Maybe, as we head into a new year, readers’ resolutions should be to call off the attack dogs. To play nice. To use your inside voices.

I want the “comments” section to remain an important part of “06880.” I want this online community to really feel like a community — not a dysfunctional family. I want, above all, to keep allowing people to comment.

But I may not be able to. My new year’s resolution is to not get another email like the one I got from Scott Smith.

Or the many similar ones I got before his, from readers who no longer feel welcome at “06880.”

2013!

The Mayans were wrong. This didn’t end on December 21.

In 2013, let’s resolve to use the time we have to make this an even better, more awesome place.

It’s the only earth we‘ve got.