Good news! The trash compactor in Parker Harding Plaza is up and running.
Bad news! Although the old garbage dumpsters were removed last night, some lazy, entitled dipshit deposited heaps of garbage in the exact spot where they used to be.
Yes, that’s the compactor there in the background.
But great news! When some poor volunteer from the Westport Downtown Merchants Association — or a good-hearted citizen — moves the trash a few yards away to where it should be, all they have to do is rummage through to find out which store or restaurant thinks this is a cool thing to do.
Then email email@example.com. We’re happy to let our 10,000 readers know whose garbage this is.