Your Cheatin’ Heart

You might think that — with its large percentage of Wall Street men (and women) — Westport would teem with people who cheat on things like insider trading.

Or that — given the enormous pressure to get into the best college possible — we’d have a ton of teenagers who cheat on things like tests.

That may be true. It’s tough to know.

But when it comes to cheating on spouses — something previously impossible to quantify — we can say with certainty: We’re #1 in the state!

And — a drumroll, please — Westport is the 4th most cheating place in the entire country.

CheatingThat’s not “06880” (the blog) talking. It’s Ashley Madison. That’s the website that — is this a great country or what? — encourages people to have affairs by matching them with similar people hoping to cheat on their own significant others.

Ashley Madison anointed Westport #1 for cheaters by dividing Connecticut’s population by the number of its users who list Westport as their hometown.

Of the site’s 240,000 users (!), 5.9 percent live here. Stamford is next, with a mere 4.6 percent. Slackers.

Of course, a reasonable person might wonder whether someone who seeks out a website to cheat on his or her partner is honest enough to actually reveal where he or she lives.

O, ye of little faith.

We can speculate all we want as to why Westport — home of the best damn Little League team around — also houses so many adults looking to bang home runs outside their home park.

Ashley Madison founder & CEO Noel Biderman has a theory. Not surprisingly, it involves money.

“The proclivity to cheat often goes hand in hand with opportunity,” he says. “Those with discretionary income and freedom to travel are often the most likely to stray.”

Still, it’s not like Westport is the richest town in Connecticut. Or the #4 place in the country in terms of ability to board a plane.

So we will leave it to the experts: our “06880” readers. Please hit “Comments,” and let us know how often you cheat on your partner, and why.

And remember: Use full, real names, please!

20 responses to “Your Cheatin’ Heart

  1. GTFOH…real names?!!

  2. (name withheld by request)

    You want our real names??!

    It reminds me of this funny joke:

    Mr. Jones goes to confession and says to his priest, “Bless me father, for I have sinned. It’s been four weeks since my last confession, and I have committed the sin of adultery.”
    The priest says, “Was it Mrs. Hendricks?”
    Mr. Jones says, “Father, I can’t tell you who it was.”
    The priest tries again, “It was probably Mrs. Johnson.”
    Jones admonishes the Priest and says, “Now Father, you know it’s not right to gossip.”
    The priest gives one last try to get the name of the fallen woman, “I know, it was Mrs. O’Hare, wasn’t it?”
    Mr. Jones firmly tells the Priest, “I won’t reveal who it was.”
    Finally, the priest says, “Say three Hail Marys and don’t let me hear that you’ve committed adultery ever again.”
    As he is walking home, Mr. Jones bumps into his buddy Mr. Smith, who says, “I saw you leaving the Church at confession time, how was it?”
    Mr. Jones replied, “Yes, I’ve just been to confession, and I feel better now. I got three Hail Marys and three good leads!”

  3. Hmm. If 5.9% of her supposed 240,000 users are from Westport, that’s about 14,200 Westport spouse cheaters. According to the Census, there are 15,230 adults ages 20-70 in Westport. (I’m assuming the younger ones aren’t married, and the older ones are too tired.) Not only is every adult resident cheating, so are another 1,000 or so who apparently were passing through town when they registered with her — probably looking for a quick hookup. So there should be no problem with using real names — you’re all doing it! 😉

    • Ooops. My bad math. Turns out there are about 1,000 Westport adults who AREN’T cheating — at least so far.

    • Elina Lublinsky

      What a fantastic and “quantifiable ” response to a fairly stupid (sorry!) article!
      Thank you

  4. No one’s cheating, Dan. Everyone’s doing research for a novel. Yeah, that’s the ticket…

  5. I just signed up as a joke…just curious, you know…
    Yeah, sure! Ha ha ha 🙂

  6. When we moved to Westport from Ohio back in 1966, folks would say,”Oh Westport..isn’t that the place where everybody is divorced or sleeping with each others husbands and wives”…? They must have seen it ina movie or something 🙂

  7. Doesn’t the movie ‘The Ice Storm’ take place in New Canaan? with the key party? Sigourney Weaver is the host of the key party in her home???? seems i remember something like that.

    • David Schaffer

      I don’t remember what town it was set in, but it was commonly identified with Westport in the 1970s. Funny what went on right under your nose and you never knew about it!

  8. Wasn’t Westport voted the number 1 town in America for key swap parties in the early to mid seventies?

  9. Nancy Hunter Wilson

    In my “twin” Westport town we used to live on a cul-de-sac with seven families and watched four of them crash and burn. Not good odds.
    Yes, money and ego played a major part, too. However, I don’t remember any break-ups when I lived in Westport (60’s and 70’s). Maybe key swap parties kept everyone happy?

  10. “You might think that — with its large percentage of Wall Street men (and women) — Westport would teem with people who cheat on things like insider trading.”
    “That may be true. It’s tough to know.”

    Dan, newsflash it is true! It is not that tough to know!

  11. Nancy Hunter Wilson

    Say it ain’t so! Ivy leaguers cheat, too?
    (It’s not what you know, it’s who you know)

  12. Nancy Hunter Wilson

    Yuck, Yuck, Yuck!!!

  13. 5.9% of the town residents, not 5.9% of its users.

    It does get us ranked fourth nationally, and apparently we have the highest % of women members of any town in the top 20.

  14. Sara Dworken Braunstein

    I feel like I need a better definition of ‘cheating’. These days I feel like I am always cheating diets, hairdressers, fitness studios, nail salons, even local grocers if I buy my meat ‘elsewhere’ — for a little switcha’roo. I am even contemplating cheating on my temple with a private tutor. I seem to be part of the culture always looking to add a little something, trade-up, do better … Funny, the one person it never occurred to me to cheat on is my husband.

  15. Lisa Podurgiel

    The article says “the number of its users who list Westport as their HOMETOWN”, which could be different from where they live…