Very Cool House Hunters

Bill and Hillary Clinton are selling their house in Chappaqua.

And it’s 80 to 90% certain they’re moving to Westport.

A realtor — who for obvious reasons will remain nameless — said the former president told her they moved to New York state primarily so his wife could run for the Senate.

But several factors are behind the upcoming move.

For one, Fairfield County’s tax burden is significantly lower than Westchester’s. (“I’m amazed he told me that,” the realtor said.)

Future Westporters?

In addition, last summer Bill fell in love with sailing. He and Hillary lived in Milford while both attended Yale Law School, and he has called their rental cottage at the beach “one of the best places we ever lived.”

But why Westport and not, say, Rowayton or Greenwich?

“The Clintons have several friends in Westport, and always loved coming here,” the realtor said.

The Clintons' former home.

“And when we drove through town and I told him all about the development in Saugatuck, his eyes lit up. He said, ‘This might sound silly, but it’s kind of like when I put my office in Harlem. It was the right feeling at the right time.'”

The realtor said the Clintons have looked at property in Green’s Farms and Saugatuck Shores. Bill liked a house very close to Compo, but Hillary thought the area was too “public.”

The realtor said Bill is doing most of the research into Westport. (“I understand that,” she said. “Hillary’s got a full-time job.”)

The Clintons' current home in Chappaqua, N.Y.

The realtor was struck by the former president’s interest in local issues. “He’s got a very clever sense of humor,” she noted. “He said, ‘Maybe if I get back into politics, I’ll run for the planning board (P&Z). It looks like that’s where the action is.”

I had to ask: Did she tell Bill about “06880”?

Yes! she said. He loves it — including the comments.

In fact, he told her, “If we move here, I have to meet the Dude!”

(To see photos of 3 of the homes the Clintons are considering, click here.)

73 responses to “Very Cool House Hunters

  1. Peter Flatow

    Dan, you are the best!

  2. Bonnie Scott Connolly

    Good one!

  3. The good April 1st article! Very subtle…

  4. Got me again Dan!!

  5. Jamie Walsh

    I ran right in to that “April fools” wall…OUCH!

  6. Kerstin Warner

    You got me, Dan! 🙂

  7. The folks in the creative non-fiction world would love this, Dan. All the elements of plausibility carried this sucker through right to the end… Can’t wait ’til next year’s! –Karl Decker

  8. Nicely done, Dan! I am glad I clicked the link before I read the comments.

  9. Richard Lawrence Stein

    I feel much better now that the Great Mr. Karl Decker was duped too. Well done!!!

  10. Jack Whittle

    You had me right until the end where he said he might join the P&Z (!) and that’s when I realized a real master had sucked me in on April fool’s day!

  11. Someone who loves Westport

    Oh– and how I wished this was true! we could do with a little shake up in this town. Great way to start the day, Dan. I can see the twinkle in your eye.

  12. Ack Dan. I have the perfect house for them ..l was practicing my “showing” speech as I was reading this. I have a showing today at my new 5 mm dollar listing that is EXTREMELY private by Compo and immediately thought it was them that I would meet. I recently tweeted that it would be perfect for a celebrity to buy. I told my daughter about it a few minutes ago saying “I bet its them!” as I was reading it on my iphone that didnt download all the way. Mentioned to her that I have to run off some temporary brochures … I haven’t done them yet because the Olmsted gardens aren’t in bloom yet. I was reviewing which outfit i would wear as I excitedly grabbed my iPad again just to see the comments and possibly anything easly I missed. And clicked the link just to see my competion and I got fooled.

    Dan, I am not mad but I will get you back. A friend of mine is talent scout looking for an ex hippie writer to write for a reality show based in Westport. I have a very fertile imagination, Dan. Consider this both a heads up and a warning.

    • Your friend should talk to the Dude!

    • Hook, Line, Sinker and all if the little fish swimming around it

      • Now that I have come down from my (fill in best word here) excitement I am starting to see the brilliance and laughing ny butt off. I have never fallen for anything’s very freeing and I am so inspired. And I am shaking just a little bit.

        • The Dude Abides

          MG: It would seem that you are having a very good time all by your lonesome. Maybe that IS the reality show? I did a pilot for ABC in the 90’s. No thanks.

          • My life could definitely be a reality show.. Was your pilot about nothing like Jerry Seinfeld’s

            • The Dude Abides

              Nope. Entitled “Fore,” it was set in a golf pro shop. Much more to the comparison of “Cheers,” they hated it.

  13. Dan, you are amazing. I think everyone who got suckered (including me) should make their 06880 membership contribution via PayPal right now. You had Bill nailed. Although that comment about Harlem should have been the giveaway. But it sailed right by me; after all, he has said stranger things. Kudos!

  14. Just so you know it’s me Dan.. Mary Palmieri Gai

  15. Mike McGovern

    Hook, line and sinker!

  16. Great, no greatest Dan Woog gotcha. Keep them coming.

  17. You MFer! Revenge is a dish best served cold, Dan. Excellent job. Great way to start April 🙂

  18. Eric Buchroeder

    Great job Dan. The Milford beach cottage is what sucked me in. Our first married house was a cottage on Milford beach and my wife and I were wondering if it was where Billary lived while in law school. Consider your new nickname Orson Welles.

  19. Eric Buchroeder

    Bring me in upfront next time Dan. My mother’s last house in Westport was on Chelsea Court off of Compo Rd. You could have used that in your scam as one of the neighborhoods they were looking at. You could have also said that Bill was going to apply for a variance from the P&Z to develop “Whitewater East” condos on the Baron’s land. But that would have been in poor taste.

  20. Seth Bienstock

    Awesome – well done! You could have also layered into the story that Bill had abandoned his diet and was missing the donuts from Coffee An’…

  21. Estelle T. Margolis

    Is there anything that happens in our town that you DON”T know about?

    Bill Clinton is right “he has to meet that Dude”

  22. Estelle T. Margolis

    I see now, This was an April Fools joke! And I fell for it because I believe everything you write! OY!

  23. Aw man…I was already considering which Housewarming Jell-O mold (or is it “jello-mould”) we would make for them!

  24. OMG, Dan, you totally snookered me too! Totally forgot about it being April 1st, although I SHOULD have remembered since I asked my students for their best “harmless” joke on Friday. Thanks for reminding me to stay on my toes!

  25. Brett Aronow

    Totally duped — we were ready to sell our house — very private!!!
    Very much like the Johnny Depp rumor that was swirling around this town years ago…

  26. Love it! I completely fell for it, too. Dan, you are the greatest!

  27. I’m a complete sucker too – especially for Bill and Hill! Thanks for making my heart skip a beat, Dan. It’s been a long time since I felt so elated. Oh pooh that it ain’t so. You really had me going.

  28. Stephen Rubin

    Ha. Ha. Ha!

  29. You sucked me in! I loved it.

  30. don bergmann

    Well, Dan, you got me, but when I yelled out to my wife, she said, “yea sure”, April Fool’s Day”. At least there is one in our family that has her head screwed on right, though maybe it is because she was not actually reading your terrific presentation, but just heard it from her husband’s exclamations.
    Don Bergmann

  31. Dan, it’s the best literary hoax since George Plimpton’s infamous Sidd Finch article he penned for the Sports Illustrated in 1985.

  32. Dude, you coulda beena stah !!!

  33. Very well done (although I did finally remember before I reached the line about the Dude what day this is). The really cool thing is, I shared this with someone I know who’s a writer for The Letterman Show–we met through The Remains; he’s a big fan of theirs–because he’s also a longtime friend of Bill’s, and I thought he might want to pass it along. Not only did he love it–and will send it along to Bubba–he said they’re looking for two new writers to work on the opening monologue and wants to see other humor pieces of yours. So I gave your email address to Bill Scheft. If you get the gig, do I get an agent’s %? Good luck with it!

  34. The Dude Abides

    I received a Presidential Citation from the President and a real charmer. We did not share a cigar. I would be more than interested in meeting the Secretary of State, however. Welcome to Wonderful Westport. Maybe they will buy Phil & Marlo house?? Happy April Fool’s Day! Equals the Weston merge with Westport schools two years ago??

  35. Dan, Thank you again for a sweet charming wake up giggle.

  36. just teasing

    i knew it couldn’t be true, cause if he reads this blog he’d move to Fairfield where they have a cool downtown!!! Not boring one.

  37. All through your post I believed every word and then felt this tremendous, unexplanable feeling of disappointment when I saw the big, blue April Fools notice in my face. I wanted Bill and Hillary to be neighbors – even if not very close. I was talking with my son on the phone about April Fools jokes, then read this – and still was completely taken in. Well done Dan!

  38. Nick Thiemann

    It’s April 1 Dan. Are you being funny or afre we really looking forward to Bill on the P&Z

  39. Nick Thiemann

    Totally suckered!

  40. Linda Smith

    Loved this post, Dan! And the only slight warning to me was why even an “unnamed realtor” would risk the loss of a sale by repeating the comments/details the Clintons supposedly told her. I was sure the Clintons would now figure out who “told” and would drop the gossip like a hot potato. But I figured it was just her stupidity … and thus was surprised like everyone else when I was curious to look at what the three properties were. Thanks for a great gotcha today!

  41. Gary Singer

    Definitely a gotcha. First time I’ve been fooled in a lot of years. Well done, Dan, it sounded reasonable.

  42. Howard Udell

    Dan, i can’t believe that you got me again! Nicely done.

  43. This worked so effectively because it is entirely plausible the Clintons would consider moving to Westport. In fact, it may yet happen, if indeed neither one of them ever wants to run for office in NY state.

  44. ellen bowen

    Great April Fools joke on all of us! Was actually hoping he would fill in as alternate on ZBA for my husband!

  45. Would real estate prices go up or down?

  46. You got me!! Who would be his housewife/girlfriend, like in Chappaqua?

    • Late Night Rita

      Plenty of Stepford wives or singles that would jump for that opportunity.

  47. I was excited to actually have someone in p+z who might help!!! good one Dan!

  48. Was all excited to see if I recognized the properties….you the devil in disguise!

  49. You got me!!! Every year I fall for it too!! :))) I thought it would be great to have Bill Clinton and the Dude to have a meeting of the minds and I would pay top dollar to just listen!

  50. And Hall and Oats will be playing at Longshore later this afternoon too:)

    • That Hall & Oats evening was one of THE BEST Westport experiences ever. Plenty of excitement, rumors, and bits of conversations with all your friends, cause they were all there. And that was the show!

    • I was at Longshore waiting for them too! It was such a big deal that The Selective Eye sold tshirts after that said, “Haulin’ Oates”!

  51. Great April Fool’s Day Blog! As usual Dan. The Dude has on his WTF Blog he is taking April off . Is that April Fool’s are is he serious? That’s NO FUN!!!

  52. Fran Taylor

    Dammit Dan — you reeled me in like a Ronco Pocket Pro fishing pole. Cheap tool, but got the job done. I oughta ….. but am still chuckling. Good one Danno.

  53. It took a friend in Chappaqua to suggest it may be an April Fool’s joke! I believed you all the way, though thought the P&Z comment was strange….great job!

  54. sucked me in too… as a realtor, I do need to note that it wouldn’t be professional for a realtor to be discussing their clients this way

  55. 72 comments… I KNEW something had to be up