With the passage of time, it’s easy to forget the importance of lunch in the cafeteria to middle school students.
Chloe Robbin is an 8th grader at Bedford Middle School. Today, she speaks out about the lunch situation there. She emailed this to her principal, Dr. Adam Rosen, and school counselors too. Chloe writes:
Lunch is supposed to be a relaxing and fun time of day. You get a break from class to eat your food and socialize with your friends.
But I didn’t know that once I entered middle school, lunch would become so much more complicated. As new friend groups began to form, so did the competition for seats at lunch tables. I often see people sprinting from their class to lunch just to claim a seat.
At Bedford Middle School, lunch tables have 8 seats attached to them. That may sound like enough, but it really isn’t because Bedford has 3 elementary schools combined into 1. Because the goal is to meet new people and expand your circle, having the same amount of seats as the elementary school tables just doesn’t make sense.
Circular lunch tables only sit 8.
What happens when 9 people want to sit at a table? Or what if someone wants to invite a new friend to sit at a table? Now all of a sudden, somebody has to sit somewhere else- and not because nobody wants them there, but simply because there is no room.
For example, so far this year my lunch table has been cramped together with 2 people trying to share the tiny circular seats. Some people are even sitting on the floor or eating standing up, just because they want to be with their friends.
But we can do better.
At BMS, we are told to include others and make sure nobody ever feels left out. These are all very important messages that I completely agree with. However, it can be impossible to follow this when there is not enough room for everyone to join, and then lunchtime becomes the cause for a lot of drama.
When my friends sit at the outdoor tables that have benches instead of individual seats, we fit a significant amount more people than before. Just yesterday, we had 12 people sitting at the table, and I saw boys next to me with 15 people all sitting on the 4 benches around the table.
Students can cram together at outdoor tables.
Keeping all of this in mind, the best solution to this issue is that we should have long rectangular tables with benches instead of individual seats in the cafeteria because these tables are way more inclusive. In fact, I have noticed that Bedford has these tables folded underneath the staircase.
Long lunch tables, unused and stored underneath the BMS stairs. (All photos/Chloe Robbin)
This is not saying that we need to fill the cafeteria with all new lunch tables, but a few new ones would be just enough for students to have a better lunch experience and invite a few more friends to join.
Then lunch can go back to hopefully being a stress free time!
(“Students Speak” is a regular “06880” feature. Any student living or studying in Westport or Weston can submit a piece. Email 06880blog@gmail.com. To support this local blog, click here.)
Chloe Robbin
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Very quickly. Dr. Rosen responded. The BMS principal wrote:
Hi Chloe,
Thank you for such a thoughtful email. I especially appreciate that the motivation behind your suggestion is to make lunch more inclusive and to ensure that students have opportunities to be with their friends and welcome new people into their groups. That instinct — to notice when others might be left out and think about how we can make Bedford a more inclusive community — is something I admire and hope you continue to bring to our school.
Interestingly, the history of our cafeteria tables may surprise you. Years ago, Bedford did use the larger rectangular tables with benches that you described. At first glance, they seem like the obvious solution: If a table can hold more students, more friends can sit together. In practice, however, we found almost exactly the opposite.
When we had the larger rectangular tables, the competition to get to those tables was much more pronounced. A group of 10 or 12 students could essentially claim one large table, and inevitably there would be another 2 or 3 students who considered themselves part of that same friend group but could not fit. Those students often felt even more excluded because nearly their entire social group was sitting together without them. We received frequent concerns from students and parents across all 3 grades about exactly this issue.
Dr. Adam Rosen
There was another challenge as well. At a long rectangular table, a smaller group could occupy the middle and become the center of the conversation, while students sitting farther down the benches or at the ends could technically be “at the table” but still feel socially separated from the group.
Our move to round tables was very intentional and came after considerable work involving our School Climate Committee, PTA, students, and staff. The difference was remarkable. The concerns about exclusion decreased substantially once we moved to round tables.
One reason is that a round table puts everyone on equal footing—there is no “center” or “end” of the group. Just as importantly, the 8-seat tables encourage larger friend groups to divide into smaller, more fluid groups rather than having one large clique occupy a single table. Over time, that actually creates more opportunities for students to mix, move among friends, welcome others, and develop new relationships.
I completely understand that this can feel counterintuitive when 9 friends want to sit together and there are only 8 seats. Your observation is a very reasonable one. But after many years of watching both arrangements in action at Bedford, I can tell you that the larger tables unfortunately created substantially more social difficulties and feelings of exclusion than our current round tables do.
That does not mean we should ignore the concerns you raised. Students should never be sitting on the floor, standing to eat, or squeezing two people onto a seat in order to remain connected to their friends. Mrs. Harding and I will continue to pay attention to what is happening during lunch and work with students on ways to make the experience as positive and inclusive as possible.
Most importantly, please don’t lose the spirit behind your suggestion. You saw something affecting your peers, thought carefully about a possible solution, and took the initiative to respectfully advocate for a more inclusive Bedford. I hold that kind of leadership in very high regard. While experience has taught us that the particular solution of larger tables would likely work against the outcome you are hoping for, the outcome itself—helping students feel welcomed, connected, and included—is exactly what we want as well.
Thank you for caring enough about your school community to write to us.
Warmly,
Dr. Rosen
Chloe’s thoughtful email suggested a “few” rectangular tables and Doc Rosen explained why using rectangular tables exclusively did not work…he did NOT offer to try Chloe’s excellent idea and he should damned well do so post haste, if he really wants Chloe(and others) to “not lose the spirit behind your suggestion.”
Dear Chloe, What a fantastic e-mail you sent. As a former teacher, I am so impressed with you. How does this idea work-I agree round tables, 6-8 seats each might be the sweet spot for comfortable group conversation, so how how about putting two next to each other so there are 16 seats where everyone is in close proximity. Maybe the students could have the ability to even switch seats during lunch, in other words, trade places. I don’t know if that helps, but let me just say that I’m very sure that you’re a wonderful student and I’m sure your parents are very proud of you. All the best, Jack Backiel
I would also like to complement Dr. Rosen for his thoughtful response. I have a Diploma, yes a Diploma, from Bedford Junior High dated 1932. A lot of students did not go on to high school back then, so the school issued Diplomas after graduation from junior high. The name on the Diploma is Steffania Backiel, my aunt, who was born in Westport in 1917 and passed away in 2018. I could send a picture of her Diploma ,if you wish , to see it and share it.By the way, I’m still certified in Connecticut to teach in three areas. I kept up my Connecticut certifications.
You keep all of the people happy all of the time! Nice note from the student and thoughtful, rational reply from the administrator. We often must adapt in life and this seems like an excellent opportunity for kids to learn that lesson. It’s a great problem when kids have so many friends that they must split up onto two tables and figure out a rotational system. I’m sure there are a few kids sitting on the sidelines who’d crave such a “problem”.
Slow news days can be a challenge. Especially when they happen 24/7/365 (like in Westport). It’s not easy to locate interesting material (in a town where nothing much happens). Inclusivity is indeed a solution. If you’re in doubt about whether anything is newsworthy, just throw it in (until it sticks to the wall). I think “Westport Naturally” needs to do a feature on watching the grass grow (in Winslow Park).
I appreciated Chloe’s thoughtful letter, as well as Dr. Rosen’s explanation of the history behind Bedford’s decision to use round tables. I think it’s great that Chloe identified a problem affecting her peers and proposed a reasonable solution.
However, I’m still left wondering about the problem she described. If students are sitting on the floor, standing while they eat, or squeezing two people onto one seat just so they can remain with their friends, it seems like we should be asking what can be done to address this.
I also think an important part of Chloe’s suggestion may have gotten a little lost in the response. She wasn’t proposing that Bedford replace all of its round tables with rectangular ones. She suggested adding just a few larger tables. Dr. Rosen provided a thoughtful explanation of why Bedford moved away from an all-rectangular-table arrangement, but I would love to hear what solutions the school might consider for the current problem Chloe identified. Could there be a mix of round and larger tables, more flexible seating, or another way to increase seating capacity?
I found a 2026 peer-reviewed study of secondary-school students that looked specifically at the social experience of lunch. The school studied had both round tables seating 6–7 students and long tables seating 10–12. Researchers found that 89% of students valued choosing where they sat, and they observed students adding chairs around tables so larger groups could sit together. The study does not conclude that one table shape is better than another, but it does highlight the importance of flexibility, student choice, and opportunities to connect with friends during lunch.
There study is very interesting and includes data regarding lunch seating, student choice, and social interactions among secondary-school students for anyone interested in reading it. I found it fascinating.
Here is the study:
“Secondary school students’ social experiences and perceptions from school lunch breaks: A discussion of how informal lunch breaks with unrestricted seating can influence students’ acquisition of social skills and social competence”
https://doi.org/10.1080/02673843.2026.2696300
Of course, learning to be flexible, meet new people, and navigate social situations are important parts of middle school. But I think we also need to recognize how socially vulnerable this age can be, particularly for students who already experience social anxiety or uncertainty about where they belong. When a friendship group is split simply because a table seats eight rather than ten, and students would rather stand, share a seat, or sit on the floor than be separated from that group, I think their behavior is telling us something important about how significant that social connection feels to them.
There is a difference between giving students opportunities to develop flexibility and resilience and creating an avoidable social stressor because of a physical seating limitation. We can help children learn to navigate challenging social situations while also designing their environment in a way that supports belonging and connection.
Perhaps the next step might be to take a survey, listen to the students, observe what is actually happening during each lunch period, and consider whether some additional seating flexibility could help. I think it’s great that Chloe noticed a problem, gathered observations, proposed a solution, and respectfully advocated for her peers. Even if her particular solution isn’t ultimately the one Dr. Rosen chooses, I hope her initiative leads to a conversation about what the solution might be.
I think Chloe’s suggestion should be considered for having a few rectangular tables. I actually understand what Dr. Rosen has said, but disagree with the implementation of it. If the round tables didn’t have dedicated seats and it was a bench, then students could figure out how many people could be there. The biggest issue is fixed number of seats. It is the determinant of who gets what lunch table. I understand the exclusion factor in larger table settings that Dr. Rosen referred to, but they could also have tables in huge rows and basically make it unending who sits together (I remember having that as a kid). There is no perfect solve here, but having had 3 children go through Bedford, I personally believe the 8 fixed seats is a nightmare and don’t think it’s a positive solution.
BTW, I am so proud of Chloe for writing this. I am not surprised she realizes what a problem this is for kids navigating difficult social settings.
I would also mention another problematic factor here is that students a free to switch lunch waves on their own and that causes problems within itself. It should only happen when needed.