Tag Archives: Heather Frimmer

Doctor/Author Heather Frimmer Says: “Always Hope”

October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month.

That’s important to many women.

It’s particularly noteworthy for Heather Frimmer. She is a radiologist, specializing in breast imaging.

The Weston resident is also an author. Her third medical fiction novel, “Always Hope,” will be published October 14.

The tale of healing and hope explores the intricacies of medicine, law and redemption. It’s told through 3 characters: an obstetrician haunted by trauma, a mother raising a child with cerebral palsy, and an attorney striving for redemption.

Frimmer combines professional expertise with detailed research, to tackle themes like the fallibility of doctors, the complexity of parenthood, and the healing power of foregiveness.

Dr. Heather Frimmer

Her routes to medicine — and writing — were hardly foreordained. She had no family members or friends in medicine. But Brandeis University had an excellent pre-med program, so she studied to become a clinical psychologist.

During Cornell/New York Presbyterian medical school, residency and fellowship, she pivoted toward radiology. Her focus now is on reading breast mammograms, ultrasounds and MRIs, and performing image-guided breast biopsies and localizations.

During her intern year she met Ben Frimmer on Jdate. They clicked, and married. He was raised in Westport (and graduated in 1988 from Staples High School), and they soon found a home in Weston.

They have 2 teenagers, a lazy goldendoodle, and just celebrated their 23rd anniversary.

In 2014, Frimmer took an introductory writing class at Westport Writers’ Workshop. Supported by that warm community, she found the talent — and courage — to publish novels.

This year, she joined the Writers’ Workshop board, to give back to a place that she loves.

With a demanding job, 2 kids and a dog, finding time to craft a novel is not easy. Writing on her days off (Wednesdays), weekends and vacations, she finishes a rough draft in just over a year. She spends the next year revising and polishing her words.

Though Frimmer is a physician, she has not had first-hand experience with the “medico-legal system” (she adds, “knocking on all the wood over here”).

However, 1 in 3 US doctors wil face a malpractice suit during their careers.

Frimmer has seen friends and colleagues navigate perilous journeys through “the confusing and frightening world of medical malpractice law.” She has seen lawsuits shake physicians to their core, “wreaking havoc on their hard-earned confidence, relationships and mental health.”

In “Always Hope,” she shows how a malpractice suit affects both the plaintiff (who claims to have been harmed by the medical system), and the physician pinned with the blame.

As part of her research, she interviewed 5 obstetricians about their experiences. “Their honest and often heartbreaking testimonials added color, pathos and authenticity” to the book, Frimmer says.

This novel is not about her. But, she says, “certainly threads of truth from my life are woven throughout hte narrative.”

Like the main charcter, she too has been sandwiched between ailing parents and teenage children, all vying for her attention while she also cared for her patients.

Like her main character too she has a non-binary child whom she supported as they navigated their gender transition, and changed their name and pronouns.

The audience for “Always Hope” is “anyone who has ever set food in a hospital or doctor’s office,” Frimmer says.

Fans of medical TV shows like “ER,” “Lenox Hill” and “The Resident, and books like “Miracle Creek” and “Ask Again, Yes” will also appreciate it.

Meanwhile, the author is gearing up for a busy October. She’ll be at the Westport Library’s StoryFest on the 18th, hosts a release party later, and is set for a signing at New Canaan’s Elm Street Books on October 25 (2 to 4 p.m.).

She wants “06880” readers to know that for average risk women, screening mammography should begin at age 40. Those with increased risks should start earlier.

And if you have symptoms — a lump, skin changes, nipple discharge, change in consisency or any other breast changes, no matter what age — tell your doctor.

(“06880” covers books, medicine, people, events — and much more. If you enjoy stories like these, please click here to support our work. Thank you!)

Lessons On A Dining Room Table

Insightful  “06880” reader Heather Frimmer writes:

Our dining room is a disaster zone. Used for its intended purpose once, or at most twice a year, the room now serves as an ad hoc storage unit.

The sideboard is covered with paraphernalia for my husband’s volunteer EMS position — trauma shears, belt clips and extraneous badges. The extra dining chair in the corner is piled high with unwanted Amazon packages and shoe boxes, all awaiting printed labels before embarking on their return journeys.

The floor is covered with boxes of Polar seltzers cans and bottled waters from Costco, which haven’t yet earned their spot in the refrigerator.

Amongst this chaos, one thing is sacrosanct. The dining room table stands in the center of the room, untouched and oblivious to the disorder surrounding it.

The smooth, rich mahogany reflects the light coming through the front window. Four legs resemble the rear haunches of a lion, creating a strong, regal stance.

No one and nothing touches that table.

The Frimmer family, back in the day.

My husband and I bought the piece for our first home, a small condo in Norwalk. Recently engaged, we were eager to decorate our shared space.

When his mother suggested we peruse the expensive furniture store above Starbucks in downtown Westport, we obeyed. She is a woman of exquisite taste, and we knew nothing about home furnishings or where to acquire them.

Up to that point, the only furniture I’d ever purchased had been a Papasan chair for my dorm room, and a simple metal bed frame and mattress.

In the fancy store, we immediately knew we were in over our heads. When the saleswoman insisted the dining table would work perfectly in our room, we nodded in agreement and handed over our credit card.

We also created an elaborate wedding registry at Bed, Bath & Beyond. Armed with a scanner, we scanned everything in sight. China with gilded edges, cut crystal glasses, silver cutlery and various appliances we thought we needed. A quesadilla maker, an espresso machine and a charcuterie board with built-in drawers were all must-haves.

We would fill our home with lovely things, wake up cuddled in each other’s embrace, and create a wonderful family filled with endless love and joy. Our life together would be smooth and easy, and go exactly as we’d planned.

Twenty-three years, 2 nearly grown children and a dog later, we’ve faced our share of bumps in the road.

The Frimmers, much more recently.

Our older child came out as transgender, and changed their name and pronouns. Chronic illnesses, trips to the emergency room and caring for ailing parents have all marred the perfect picture, or perhaps made it more colorful and nuanced.

Because we received less than a full complement of tableware from our registry, I can count the number of times we’ve used it on one hand.

The waffle iron conked out during its first test run. The ice cream maker escaped its box last year, only to be locked back away when the final product turned out crystallized and unappealing.

Life, and more specifically marriage, is messy, cluttered and unpredictable, which brings me back to our dining room.

This year we hosted Thanksgiving dinner for my husband’s family, including our teenage niece and nephew. In the days leading up to the holiday it was all hands on deck: making grocery lists, procuring the necessary ingredients and preparing multiple dishes, and ridding the dining room of its usual clutter.

Thanksgiving dinner …

After we stuffed ourselves with turkey, stuffing and cranberry sauce, we cleared the dishes and moved on to the entertainment: the holiday grab bag extravaganza.

We arranged our gifts on the coffee table in the living room, chose numbers and unwrapped packages. My 16-year-old son was inordinately proud of the gift he’d contributed, a portable ping pong net suitable for any table.

Somehow, after all the trading and finagling, he ended up with his own gift, likely his secret plan all along.

He and my nephew attached the net to our kitchen table, but the round shape didn’t lend itself to the game. When they tried the coffee table, they had to play from their knees, an uncomfortable proposition.

That’s when the boys asked if they could use the dining room table instead.

I refused. If they played there, the top would be covered in permanent dings and scuff marks in no time. I couldn’t allow that.

But by the time I’d washed the serving platters, loaded the dishwasher and dried my hands, a rousing game had begun.

… and ping pong.

As I went to put a stop to the nonsense, the sounds from the dining room gave me pause. Amid the clicking of the ball on the wood surface, there was camaraderie, chatting and laughter — so much laughter.

All 4 kids gathered around the table, playing, giggling and cheering each other on.

Rather than worrying about SAT scores or friendship drama or whether their gender-affirming medications would be available for the next 4 years, they were enjoying each other with the help of a simple game.

How could I put my foot down now?

This montage was my dessert, more delicious than pecan pie or apple cake could ever be. I made eye contact with my son, and gave a nod of assent.

Since then he’s asked me to play with him every day, often sharing news from his life as he serves, volleys and puts extra spin on the ball.

So my dining room will continue to accumulate unwanted packages and Costco purchases. And now our precious table will collect scratches and scrapes, well deserved scars signifying a worldly maturity.

If and when we use the table for dining once again, likely not before next Thanksgiving, I’ll throw a tablecloth over the top and call it a day.

(There’s always something unexpected on “06880.” If you enjoy our regular features — and other stories like this one — please click here to support our work. Thank you!)

Roundup: Weston Market, Baron’s South, Parks & Rec Programs …

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Peter’s Market closed in January. For 7 months, Weston residents — and their neighbors in northern Weston — have schlepped to Westport or Wilton for basic needs.

Soon — “as soon as possible,” in fact — Lily’s Market will open in Weston Shopping Center. The news was first reported by Weston Today.

Among the familiar faces: Jay Stasko, who worked at Peter’s on and off since he was 16 (and whose daughter is Lily), and DJ Hall, who managed it for 22 years.

Westporter Mark McWhirter will head up the business side.

Also in the works; Weston Pharmacy. The goal for Ken and Susan Lee — who signed the lease — is to open in early September. (Hat tip: Dick Wingate)

Coming soon: Lily’s Weston Market

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Registration for Westport Parks & Recreation fall programs begins online on Wednesday, September 8 (9 a.m.)..

Programs are available by clicking here. Visit us at http://www.westportrecreation.com to view our upcoming Fall programs!

Administrators say: “Please log into your online account to verify your family information. Once you have logged into your account, click ‘manage family members’ on the bottom right. To view more details, click the name of the member you want to view. Please check email addresses provided and other personal information that may have changed. Make any necessary changes and hit ‘save’ at the end.”

Have an address change? Email recreation@westportct.gov.

If you cannot log into your online account, do not create another profile. Email recreation@westportct.gov or call us 203-341-5152 for help.

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The Parks & Recreation Commission meets next Wednesday (7:30 p.m., Zoom) to review 2 Baron’s South conceptual plans. To attend via Zoom, use Meeting ID 840 1308 5788; Passcode 398959.

What’s next for Baron’s South? The Parks & Recreation Commission will begin discussing the issue next Wednesday . (Photo/Cathy Walsh)

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Heather Frimmer’s new book, “Better to Trust,” launches with a party at the Westport Library. It’s September 21 (7 p.m.), and includes an interview with Suzy Leopold.

Click here to register (in-person or virtually), and obtain a signed copy.

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Today’s “Westport … Naturally” contribution is not, notes Margo Amgott, “cute fawns, bunnies, local turkeys or fuzzy bears.” It is, however, what’s been hanging out at her house.

(Photo/Margo Amgott)

“Her web is about 4 feet wide,” Margo describes. (I have no idea how she determined its gender.)

“She’s still most of the day. But a half hour or so every day she spins (pun intended) into action.

“She’s got long black stockings and gloves, yellow markings, and is about 2 feet inches long. She has a large sac (venom? Babies?).

“We are terrified but also charmed. Anyone know what she is?”

If so, click Comments below. And let Margo know whether she should be completely charmed. Or totally terrified.

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And finally … Charlie Watts’ passing marks the end of an era. The Rolling Stones’ drummer (and bandmate of our neighbor Keith Richards) died yesterday in London. He was 80.

The New York Times called his style “strong but unflashy.” It cited his work on 3 songs in particular as emblematic of the group’s success:

“He was relentless on “Paint It, Black” (No. 1 in 1966), supple on “Ruby Tuesday” (No. 1 in 1967) and the master of a funky cowbell groove on “Honky Tonk Women” (No. 1 in 1969).”

Thanks, Charlie. You gave us plenty of satisfaction.

 

Roundup: Shopping Days, Heather Frimmer, Public Works …

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FEMA is testing its national alert warning system at 2:20 pm today (Wednesday). This is only a test. Do not be alarmed if all your devices start beeping this afternoon!

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When Main Street is closed to traffic for Saturday’s Shopping Day, Triple Threat Academy provides the entertainment.

Recent Staples High School graduate/University of Michigan-bound/”Country Comfort” star Jamie Mann will sing. He’ll be joined by castmate Shiloh Verrico, who trains virtually with Triple Threat founder (and Staples grad Cynthia Gibb).

Jamie Mann (Photo/Curtis & Cort)

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When trust is violated, can it ever be recovered?

That’s the premise of “Better to Trust.” Heather Frimmer‘s second novel centers around a neurosurgeon struggling with a pill addiction, who makes the decision to operate on his sister-in-law’s brain.

Secrets swirling around drug use and sexual identity must be dealt with, in order for the family to learn to trust each other again.

Frimmer — a radiologist specializing in breast and emergency room imaging — launches her new book at the Westport Library on September 21 (7 p.m.). The event is both in-person and livestreamed. Autographed copies can be picked up on site or shipped. There will be light refreshments and door prizes too.

Click here to register and order copies.

 

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Ernie Lorimer wants to give a shout-out to the transfer station crew.

He writes: “On my last few visits, I’ve noticed that it is really tidy and organized.  Very ship-shape.”

Done! Thanks to all Public Works director Peter Ratkiewich, and all his crew — seldom recognized — who make ours the best transfer station around!

Neat! (Photos/Ernie Lorimer)

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Tracy Porosoff calls today’s “Westport … Naturally” submission “Cloudy Afternoon in the Garden.”

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And finally … speaking of gardens, here’s a beauty from The Mamas & The Papas: