Our “06880” tagline is “Where Westport meets the world.”
I’ll post pretty much any story, so long as there is a Westport (Connecticut — not New York, Massachusetts or Ireland) connection.
I do not, however, post clickbait-type stories — those that includes Westport in a list of “Best Beaches in New England,” say, or Westporters in “Top White Collar Criminal Lawyers.”
Usually, that is.
Once in a while, readers send something so bizarre it just screams to be posted.
That’s the case with a story from the website Only In Your State, in the categories “Connecticut/Trips/Winter.”
I don’t know how or why Ann Sheffer and Larry Bartimer found that website and/or article, but both forwarded it to me.
“The Cozy Town in Connecticut That Comes Alive Under a Blanket of Snow” is the torturous headline that would normally have caused me to stop reading right there.
Except, of course, that the cozy-yet-alive-in-winter town is ours.
Here’s a sample of the Westport that writer Lisa Sammons — or the AI-generated robot pretending to be her — offers up to the world:
Winter getaways in the Nutmeg State don’t get much better than a trip to Westport. This affluent Fairfield County town has the most ocean and river waterfront in the state, and there’s a lot to do here. We love it in the wintertime!
Directly under “We love it in the wintertime!,” this photo lacked both a caption and even one snowflake.
I’m not sure what our miles of “ocean” and river waterfront (a claim from the Discover Westport website) has to do with winter fun, but let’s plow on.
The downtown area has a great variety of shops and restaurants.
Of course, the river itself offers amazingly scenic views.
There’s something so peaceful about walking alongside a body of water, isn’t there?
Um, yes.
Westport receives an average of 28 inches of snowfall a year.
This isn’t as much as the state’s snowier areas, but it is in line with the national average, and means you’ll have at least a few days of white winter wonderland life here each year.
It’s a Westport custom to wear colorful clothes while shoveling.
Unfortunately, last year’s snowfall was about 27 inches below average.
There are dozens of historic properties here, and a few officially-designated historic districts.
Now we’re getting somewhere.
The Taylortown Salt Marsh is such a scenic place for a stroll, and wonderful for bird-watching.
Ah, yes! The Taylortown Salt Marsh — located just inches from the new 16-unit apartment complex rising at the Wilton Road/Kings Highway North intersection.
I don’t know about you, but the Taylortown Salt Marsh is the first place I take out-of-town friends who visit. Nothing beats strolling and bird-watching on that famous Kings Highway bridge.
Taylortown Salt marsh, as seen on Only In Your State. Come for the strolling and bird-watching; stay for the Invasive Plant Removal Wildlife Restoration Project.
After noting that Sherwood Island State Park is “most popular now as a summertime destination thanks to its wonderful beach,” Only In Your State adds “it’s an excellent place for a walk or jog at any time of year. Visiting a beach in winter is a great way to beat the crowds.”
Channeling my inner 16-year-old, I say, “whatever.”
Perhaps you’re wondering where to stay, when visiting Westport’s winter wonderland. Lisa suggests:
If you need a perfect place to stay in Westport, CT, I love the look of this sunny apartment that’s just minutes from the beach.
If you had “Sunny Studio APT above historic Westport Mill” as the link on your bingo card, you win!
The VRBO listing of that property — Sasco Mill on the Post Road, at the Southport town line — promises “panoramic views and breathtaking surroundings, including endless flora and fauna.”
There is 1 bedroom, with a queen bed. Miraculously, it “sleeps 4.”
The kitchen is described as “small and quaint.” One can only imagine.
The “small and quaint” kitchen.
So there you have it. “The Cozy Town in Connecticut That Comes Alive Under a Blanket of Snow.”
Now all we need is that blanket.
(“06880” is “where Westport meets the world.” If you enjoy this hyper-local, 24/7/365 coverage of our town, please support our work. Just click here — and thank you!)
Dan, it’s so rare of you to be sarcastic. And you picked a most appropriate target.
Gee, that’s really a shame. Might have made a nice April Fool’s Day piece for you to publish.
The writing itself is so awful that “Lisa Sammons” should be summarily fired from what ever journal hired her.
I suspect the article was written by AI
Hilarious—both Lisa and Dan! Thanks for a good laugh on a Saturday morning.
Weird that “Lisa” neglected to mention our fabulous ski slopes and romantic hot springs.
Thanks Dan for a Really fun read.
Definitely a useless AI piece.
But you can’t fault her perspicacity in noting that the Sherwood Island beach is more popular in the summertime.
It’s a wonder she did not direct her readers to the Westport Inn as a place to stay.
Of course the bridge is ruined with all those kidnapped signs for people kidnapped 7,000 miles away.
Anyone read the listing for the apartment above the old Sasco Mill that the author/robot suggests? In fairness, it does look cool and has great reviews. Apart from the one bed/sleeps four fuzzy math, what caught my attention was the bit about how you’re right on “Sasco Lake” with a waterfall and so forth. There’s only one problem: the dam which made the aforesaid all possible was completely wiped out in that 500 year flood we had a few years ago. So, there’s no waterfall and the lake is now a field. Oddly enough, none of the guests who posted reviews since the lake, waterfall and dam vanished seem to have noticed the discrepancy.
Hilarious! Love it, Dan, especially your commentary!
Funniest thing you’ve ever written!