Posted Times

Sure, our new post office is bright and shiny and only slightly tinier than the number of cells in Rush Limbaugh’s brain dedicated to understanding the concept of birth control.

Our post office is one other thing:  confused about the time mail gets picked up.

Here is the sign inside, just above the drop box for letters with postage:

Okay. So mail gets picked up twice each weekday — and both at the tail end of the workday? Twice a day, only 90 minutes apart?

And on Saturday it’s picked up at midnight — that’s 0:00 a.m., right? — just a few hours after the clerks have gone for the day?

But just outside the front door stand two big drop boxes. Here’s what they say:

So there’s an extra pickup outside every day, at 1 p.m.? They can’t go inside then to scoop up the mail? And what goes on between the noon collection on Saturdays, and the indoor collection an hour later?

But wait! There’s more!

One lonely drop box sits at the front of the Playhouse Square parking lot, near Kennedy’s exclusive barber shop. It pre-dates the new post office, but it’s the Holy Grail of Saturday mail:

I can’t explain that 10 a.m. Saturday pickup, or the 3 p.m. weekday one.

But I do understand one thing more clearly now: why employees “go postal.”

17 responses to “Posted Times

  1. You know you’ve opened a can of worms with the Dittoheads on here.

  2. The post was not about the post office.

  3. I too dislike Rush, but what does he have to do with stupid post office signs, Dan?

    • It is called an “analogy.” An analogy is a comparison between things that are otherwise dissimilar. It was not, however, to be taken literally, as our post office is in fact NOT smaller than someone’s brain cells.

    • It’s a Woog IED, bro,
      Improvised Explosive Device
      We called ’em “Roadside Bombs” in Nam. VC would find an unexploded 500 pound Air Force dropped bomb, carry/lug it to a busy military used road, then dig in a tunnel from the side. All at night. Slide the bomb in, hot wire it, run the wire way way back into a rice paddy, use a banana tree as a sighting device, and wait for a designated or target of opportunity. Locals knew. Kept their mouth shut. They were always CD: Command Detonated…by their #1 best specialist. We had a different “pucker factor” for every road every day…kinda tightens ya up just thinkin about it.
      🙂 POSTAL? Got me again!

      The reason for our existence…Danny Boy, plants these little minefields in every 4th blog. He monitors the deviations from the mean to help him craft better WIED (pronounced weed) in the future. Nothing sinister.

  4. Dan, didn’t you get the memo?
    Despite the excellent growth of UPS and Fedex, the USPS is America’s new TITANIC in 3D, illustrating the combined skills of politicians and governmentals in running a business.
    The Memo: Budget Line Item # 357,000,753: “Correcting Inaccurate Information” (CII) was changed to ZERO by the Committee To Stop The Bleeding.
    Get used to it. 🙂

  5. Princeton '82

    I, too, am completely disgruntled about the comparison between Rush and the chaotic mail pickup: Rush doesn’t have a brain. Just a big mouth.

  6. Keep the analogies in, Dan, some of us get it.

  7. Eric Buchroeder

    I have always loved analogies. It is not a coincidence that the Miller Analogies Test is used a vehicle to assess advanced intelligence. Once when I was working for a VERY dysfunctional company a senior executive told me that he hated that I always used analogies to make a point. He was a cretin. He couldn’t understand them. I consider Dan a person of great intelligence (and wit).

  8. The Dude Abides

    He is not called the Professor for nothing.

  9. Longtime Westporter

    Let’s get back to this COLUMN! I think it’s ridiculous that there is not a drive-up mailbox in town (anywhere I have found!) that will note that the mail will be picked up at 5:30. I don’t mind going to the post office and parking and walking inside, but it seems so wasteful to the environment. When I asked the postmaster the reason, here’s what he told me. The mailboxes are all emptied by one truck route from the Annex (in Norwalk, close to Stew’s) and it is only the dropbox INSIDE the post office that the postal workers empty at the end of the day. So your sensible (to me) suggestion, Dan, of why the outside box can’t be 5:30 too is that those boxes are picked up by the Annex. And it means that truck picks up from the boxes outside the post office at 1 pm, then returns just to the drive-up (at end of parking lot near the Post Road light) at 3 pm, and then RETURNs at 5 to pick up from the boxes outside the new post office! I believe at the old post office, one of the outside mailboxes had the same pick up times as in the lobby.

    Whatever, I sincerely ask the postmaster to get his act together and put at least two drive-up boxes around town where the truck that picks up at the post office can stop before bringing all the mail to the Annex and on to Stamford! One good one would be the one in Parker Harding Plaza when employees are leaving for the day (now 4 pm, I believe). It would inspire confidence in the USPS again and stop the jokes about people “going postal”.