Urban Dictionary is not for the faint of heart.
It’s the go-to website for definitions of modern slang like “Eskimo brothers” (don’t ask).
But it’s also got a page called “My City.” The user-generated descriptions of Westport are not — how shall we put this? — flattering.
“A gorgeous town ridden with filthy rich people that have so much money that they have nothing better to do than to drive around in their luxury cars and spoil their children rotten,” the 1st entry begins.
That’s earned nearly 500 thumb’s-up votes so far. And it’s the 1st thing readers — some of them potential home buyers? — see when they search for “Westport.”
Westport kids, the entry continues, “get either a Range Rover, a BMW, or a Lexus when they turn 16, get incredibly drunk and stoned at least twice a week.”
The next explanation of Westport begins: “A beautiful, mid-sized town in Connecticut. It has great shopping areas and vast estates….Some waterfront homes can cost in excess of 20 million dollars.”
Westporters “do not feel the need to wear their wealth on their sleeves,” this entry reads. “It is a great place to live and a haven for Judeo-Protestant wealth.”
By the 6th entry, someone has written:
The greatest town on earth. Everyone is really nice. Sure some people are snobby but there are people like that in every town….Just because alot of people have boats and huge houses doesn’t mean that they are lazy. On the contrary it means they worked hard to make the money and they deserve to use it in the way they want to.
According to the next contributor:
The kids here do massive amounts of drugs (weed, blow, and an occasional E pill) and party extremely harder then most other suburban communities. Despite the excessive partying these kids have seen the world three times over and are some of the most cultured and classiest individuals around.
Young adults between the ages of 16-25 basically live in a drugged out haze of parties and sexual favors. Kids quietly compete with one another about who has the biggest summer home, who goes to the better college and who can amass the most materiel possessions.
The next writer is “extremely offended” by those characterizations of Westport. “Not everyone gets drunk all the time and smokes pot.” There “aren’t too many” people with expensive homes and boats.”
And, “not everyone is a complete jackass and extremely materialistic.”
The good news is that most of the comments are several years old.
The bad news is that for everyone looking up our town on Urban Dictionary — and it is a very popular site — this is the “Westport” they see.