Monthly Archives: September 2009

Remembering Mary Travers

Several years ago I was on a flight from Cleveland to New York.  It was late Sunday night; everyone was tired and grumpy.

I nodded at my seatmate; in typical flying fashion, neither of us said a word.  I looked again.  It was Mary Travers.

Mary  Travers

Mary Travers

The Mary I remembered was the blonde, beautiful singer who helped make Peter, Paul and Mary national icons — and powerful forces for social change.  But a few days earlier I’d seen a PBS special.  She’d gained plenty of weight since their heyday.  This was the new Mary.

Growing up and living in Westport, I learned to give celebrities their space.  Paul Newman, Martha Stewart, Don Imus, Jason Robards, Eartha Kitt — I’d never said a word when I saw them in restaurants or on Main Street.  Besides, what would I say?  I had no connection with them.

But Mary Travers!  Her music — “Where Have All the Flowers Gone?” “All My Trials,” “Day is Done” and so many others — had gotten me through adolescence.  We sang her songs at summer camp.  I still listened to them whenever I needed to relax, be inspired, or feel better (despite the urgency of their messages) about the world.

I could have told Mary Travers that I worked with her stepmother at the Westport News.  I could have said I knew Frank Weiner — who, long before he became first an advertising executive and then a renowned English teacher at Staples High School, had been her babysitter back in the day.

But I said nothing.  Besides, she was already asleep.

As the plane landed at LaGuardia, she woke up.  Finally I gathered my courage. 

“Thank you,” I said.  “Thanks for all the pleasure your music has brought me, for so many years.”

She looked at me for the 1st time.  She was not the least bit surprised.  She had heard similar words — I suddenly realized — countless times for 4 decades.

But she smiled that broad Mary Travers smile.  Though she was far heavier than in her Dylan days, her light, bright smile lit up the plane.

“You’re welcome,” she said.  “I’ve enjoyed it too.”

Remembering Phyllis Steinbrecher

“Mensch” is a Yiddish word.  A great compliment, it refers to a person with admirable qualities:  integrity, honor, responsibility, goodness.  A mensch helps many people, in many ways, and in so doing enriches the world.

Phyllis Steinbrecher

Phyllis Steinbrecher

I’ve  only heard mensch applied to men — but if a woman can be a mensch, Phyllis Steinbrecher certainly was.

She was known for years as an educational consultant, working with teenagers (and their parents) in a wide variety of situations.  Wearing many different hats — instructor, guide, parent, therapist, friend, nag, cheerleader — she helped thousands of young people find the right place for college, and their future.

Phyllis never said simply, “Yale, Harvard, Brown” or “Bates, Bowdoin, Colby.”  She understood teenagers’ heads — and their parents.  A good part of her work consisted of telling moms and dads:  “Forget Princeton.  Your kid will love Colgate a lot more.”  And they did.

Another portion of her work involved finding therapeutic programs for kids who would never get to college, because they couldn’t graduate from high school.  Once she got them straightened out, then she got them into college.  It was always the right one for them.

I know all this because for two decades years I worked on educational projects with Phyllis.  One involved ghostwriting — with several psychologists — a book called You CAN Say No To Your Teenager. That was a terrible title — it really was about saying the right thing to your teenager, at the right time — but it was also one of my most enjoyable jobs ever.

For nearly a year the professionals and I met at Phyllis’s Weston home.  While eating wonderful food, they told stories of their clients; I then put their stories on paper.  What I remember most about those nights are Phyllis’s tremendous insights about teenagers; her excitement about every youngster she worked with, and her superb sense of humor.

A colleague in her Westport firm, Steinbrecher Consulting, said:

She has been my mentor, my advisor, my confidant and my dear, dear friend.  She was a remarkably accomplished woman who made everyone she met feel special.  I watched her touch hundreds of lives, and impact each one for the better.  Her gut instincts were spot on and she never minced words — but at the same time did so with grace.

Phyllis made her mark in educational consulting.  But she was devoted to many other causes — particularly breast cancer.  Since 2006 the Breast Cancer Emergency Aid Foundation — her creation — has helped hundreds of women by providing funds for important non-medical needs like rent, utilities, transportation, specialty bras, even baby-sitting during chemo treatments.  It’s a wonderful concept — one only a mensch could dream of, and make true.

Phyllis was interested in breast cancer because for decades she suffered from it.  She beat it a couple of times — along with several other health issues — but in the end it got her.  Phyllis died yesterday afternoon.

It’s a cliche to call someone a “quiet hero.”  I won’t say that about Phyllis, because she was not quiet.  She wasn’t loud, mind you — but you knew whenever she was around, and whenever she had her hand in something.  She was a mensch — and a presence.

I miss her presence already.

(Phyllis Steinbrecher’s life will be celebrated with a service tomorrow [Friday] at 12:30 p.m., at the Conservative Synagogue on Hillspoint Road.  Contributions in her honor may be made to:  Breast Cancer Emergency Aid Foundation, PO Box 616, Westport, CT 06881.)

John Dodig: On Education Today

John Dodig

John Dodig

John Dodig — Staples’ popular, student-empowering principal — has spent his entire career thinking about education.  He’s worked in suburban schools and city schools; he’s seen students at every point in the spectrum.  He wants the best for all of them — and for our country.

Today’s Westport News ran an op-ed piece by the principal.  He makes many salient points.  Because not every Westporter reads the paper, “06880” is reprinting Dodig’s words — and challenge — here.

Did you know that 100 years ago only algebra and geometry were needed to fulfill the mathematics requirement for admission to Harvard and Yale? A Staples student wouldn’t even think of applying to Harvard today without having at least one AP Calculus course on the transcript and probably several more (Advanced Placement Calculus AB and BC, Multivariable Calculus).

Therefore, I feel frustrated when I read or hear people make statements like: “We need major reform of our high schools” or worse “High schools aren’t as good as they used to be when I went to school X years ago.” Clearly people making these statements are not aware of how much better many high schools are than they once were.

If we were to take a trip down memory lane to the streets of any inner city in America in the evening 100 years ago, we would probably see young people hanging out on street corners, some sitting on stoops, and others simply roaming the streets of their neighborhoods. These kids weren’t home concentrating on homework. Back then, most of these kids were probably European with a sprinkling of other nationalities thrown in.

Today, strolling down the same streets, there are still kids out at night. There are still kids not doing their homework because they are roaming the streets, but now they are probably part of a broader mix of nationalities. So what has changed?

One hundred years ago, if you lived in a major urban area there was poverty and there were gangs just as there are now. Huge numbers of young people dropped out of school or graduated high school with barely a basic knowledge of reading, writing, and mathematics. Unfortunately, some of these young people eventually wound up dead. Some wound up in jail.

But many others saw the light at some point in their lives and decided to get a job in a factory. They learned a skill, joined a union, made decent money, raised a family, moved to a place like Levittown and slowly became middle class. They stayed with the company until retirement and during that time sent their children to college to become professionals.

That concept doesn’t work any more. We don’t need people trained to bolt four tires onto a car for 35 years. Robots do that. We don’t build washing machines. They are built in other countries. What, then, do those same young people do with their lives? How will they become middle class citizens?

We are asking high schools today to do what they were NEVER designed to do….to graduate EVERYONE with skills at a level never before imagined by our society. Every student now needs to be able to think critically, work in small groups to solve problems, use mathematics at a level of at least pre-calculus, demonstrate an understanding of both the physical and biological sciences, and master the art of learning because it is something they will have to continue to do for the rest of their lives.

Westport is one of several communities in America that has attracted well-educated, hard-working people who raise families in an environment where education is valued. From infancy, Westport children understand either subliminally or by clear messages from adults that in order to replicate the lifestyle to which they have become accustomed, they MUST become well educated.

It is a message similar to what Japanese children, Singaporean children, and children from many other countries hear from their parents and from their societies. Our SHS students are as good and as competitive as any student in any of the countries featured in articles describing how advanced other countries are and how America is falling behind. In fact in my opinion, Westport’s children graduate with even better skills because we emphasize critical thinking, problem solving and creativity.

What is the point of my rambling, then? It seems to me that the answer to changing American education for the masses is not to revamp all high schools using one blueprint. The problem is not an educational issue as much as it is a social issue, but few of our national leaders are willing to say that publicly.

Unless the social and cultural messages children hear from birth are not changed, masses of young children will not hear what Westport’s children hear from home every day….that education is the key to success and prosperity. That it is the student’s obligation to come to school each day prepared and ready to learn.

The delivery system for creating and disseminating culture in America is well-oiled. It is powerful. In fact we export culture. Imagine if someone in this country was able to motivate the movie, television, music, and advertising industries to make education the aspiration of every young person?

Imagine what our country would be like if those millions of kids who have always been poorly educated became obsessed with the notion that being educated, going to college, and mastering the skills of life-long learning were the best ways to fame, wealth and the good life whereas pursuing a path which leads to being a basketball, football, rap, television, or movie star may not always lead to the happiest or healthiest life?

We are good at sending messages to young people. Why not this one? If we can sell video games to young people why not this message? If it worked and all kids walked into schools eager and determined to learn (as most do in Westport), the very same schools that are now being maligned would be able to accomplish what they all want to and can provide for their students.

It is something that we can do as a nation. Why not give it a varsity try on a national scale? Let’s export Westport’s drive for educational excellence throughout our great country.

Dave Lipson: Fitness Expert, Hunky Trainer

LXTV — Channel 4’s new 5 p.m. lifestyle show — is looking for a fitness expert, to host a weekly segment.  He should be an expert trainer, a skilled communicator, an inspirational figure — and a hunk.

NBC New York’s website is pretty clear:

We searched the city for the hottest athletes and trainers we could find….We’ll introduce one “hunky” a day and you’ll get a chance to vote for your favorite in an online poll next week.

Dave Lipson (right)

Dave Lipson (right)

One of those “hunks” is one of our own.  Dave Lipson — Staples ’01, son of Staples choral director Alice Lipson and Temple Shalom rabbi Mark Lipson — is a top 5 finalist in the NBC search.

After graduating from the University of Rhode Island, playing professional baseball and earning the highest certification as a strength and conditioning coach, Dave founded CrossFit Exodus in Manhattan.  A broad, inclusive fitness program, CrossFit is used by police academies, special operations units and champion martial artists around the globe.  Dave has established a reputation as a CrossFit expert — and a fitness coach who connects personally and directly with every client.

Tomorrow, Dave appears live on the 5 p.m. show.  Channel 4 airs his bio, and he’ll answer questions.  Viewers vote online, from 6 p.m. September 18 through the 21st, to pick the weekly fitness host.

Here’s hoping Dave piles up a hunk of votes.

Gates And Race And Westport

Several years ago, a black couple was strolling near Longshore.  A Westport police officer stopped them, then questioned them about a recent robbery in the area.

The man and woman wore typical Westport weekend walking clothes.  They were middle-aged.  It was clear the only reason they were stopped was because of their color.

They told the policeman they lived nearby, expecting a profuse apology.  Instead they got attitude.  Weren’t they glad, the officer asked, that he was helping protect their neighborhood?

TEAM Westport members

TEAM Westport members

Some Westporters may think Thursday’s TEAM Westport forum — “The Gates Incident:  Could It Happen Here?” (Westport Library, 7:30 p.m.) — is an exercise in liberal, feel-good futility.  Of course the Westport police would never arrest a black man in his own home, as the Cambridge police did this summer with the eminent Harvard historian Henry Louis Gates.

Right?

Thursday’s forum should be a good one.  Police Chief Al Fiore will begin by describing Westport’s approach to the kinds of issues that triggered the Cambridge incident.

A facilitator will then open up the meeting.  Any participant may suggest a topic for discussion.  After all topics are posted, attendees move around the room to whichever topic they wish to pursue.  Each small group then reports on its principal conclusions at the end of a predetermined time.

The more people talk — openly and honestly — about issues like race (and ethnicity and sexuality, all part of TEAM Westport’s charge as the town’s official committee on diversity), the more people learn.  And the more we learn, the less chance there is for confrontation to escalate into crisis.

On all sides.

Election Day

The intense debates are over!   The policy differences are crystal clear!  The media excitement is reaching a fever pitch!

Tomorrow is the incredibly anticipated Republican first selectman primary, pitting Gavin Anderson against Joe Arcudi for the right to face Gordon Joseloff in November.

Can you feel the excitement?!

Westport Republican Town Committee

There’s Always A First Time

Some things in life are worth waiting for.  Like 85 years for a New York gallery opening.

Susan Malloy has been a lifelong painter.  For just as long, she’s contributed both her talent and her philanthropy to the Westport arts scene — most recently the acclaimed “Years in the Making” film.

"Maybe Manhattan" (2008)

"Maybe Manhattan" (2008)

But until last week, Susan never had a New York gallery show.

Thanks to “Visions of New York,” she can strike that off her to-do list.

“Visions” features paintings of skyscrapers, in a city Susan knows well.  She grew up on the West Side.  After college she lived in Greenwich Village; she married Edwin, then moved to the East Side.

Susan and Edwin moved to Westport in 1967.  But she’s “a New Yorker with images in my head” — and that’s what the show is about.

“Visions” opened Thursday evening at the ACA Galleries in Chelsea.  A horde of Susan’s relatives and Westport friends attended.

Those Westport friends go back a long way.  Susan’s family began summering in Westport in 1937.  Their 1st home was on the corner of Bayberry Lane and Cross Highway — the spot known later as “the Ashford and Simpson house,” now the site of Doug and Melissa Bernstein’s new home.

The Malloys and their 2 kids lived in 3 Westport houses.  In 1986 she and Edwin moved to Dogwood Lane.  Her studio is now there.

“It was the most wonderful thing,” she said, reveling in the post-show glow the morning after it opened. “So many people were there, and the paintings looked great.”

(Photo by Dave Matlow)

(Photo by Dave Matlow)

How significant is a New York gallery show for an octogenarian?

“It’s everything,” Susan said.  “That’s always what you aim for.”

So when is her next New York show?

“Oh, I have no idea,” she said.  “I haven’t thought that far ahead.”

(ACA Galleries is at 529 W. 20th Street, New York. The phone number is 212-206-8080.)

Illegal Invasion

The flyers were stuffed in orange plastic bags.  Weighted down with small stones, they were tossed near newspapers, on driveways along Roseville Road.

“Illegals Are Invading!” one said.  Above a black-and-white drawing of a menacing-looking person — it’s hard to tell whether he’s an “illegal” or a vigilante — are these words:

Illegal aliens are invading your neighborhood.  More come everyday (sic), taking your jobs and costing taxpayers billions of dollars every year in health care costs and an increased need for police and other services.

Four paragraphs later, it concludes:

What can you do?  Join the fight against illegal immigration and the problems that come with it!

The second flyer — featuring a map of the US, with crude black arrows pointing from Mexico to the Northeast, Midwest and Northwest — asks:  “Immigration or INVASION?”  It continues:

If current trends continue Americans will be a minority in their own country in less than 50 years.  Illegals are turning America into a third-world slum.  They come for welfare, or to take our jobs and bring with them drugs, crime and disease.  Let’s send them home NOW!

Both flyers invite recipients to contact “NEWP.”  That’s North East White Pride — I had to google it, because (I’m guessing) whoever made the flyers knew the full name would be incendiary.  A link to NEWP, a Massachusetts address and a phone number were provided.  (The NEWP website says it’s been “supporting white, working class communities since 2003.”)

Setting aside the obvious question — are “illegals” really invading Roseville Road and taking jobs from Westporters?  — “06880” has this to say:

Man up.  Provide a local contact.  NEWP members didn’t drive from Massachusetts to toss plastic bags on Westport driveways.  At least 1 local person is behind this venom.

You have every right to distribute anti-“illegal” literature.  This country was founded on the principle of free speech, and “06880” will defend staunchly your right to say whatever you want, about whomever you want — as odious as your flyers may be.  It’s the American way.

But at least let us know who you are.  That’s the American way too.

First Amendment - US Constitution

Music With A Heart

When pancreatic cancer hit Tyler Paul’s family, he reacted the only way he knows how:  with music.

A few months after Tyler’s 2007 Staples graduation, his great-uncle succumbed to the disease.  That summer, Tyler produced a concert to raise funds for the Hirshberg Foundation — a research, information and support group.  It was successful, but he wanted to do more.

Tyler Paul

Tyler Paul

So Tyler conceived an 11-track album.  For months talented vocalists recorded songs, ranging from “Bridge Over Troubled Waters” and “Let it Be” to contemporary musical theatre pieces like “Part of a Painting” — from the very talented duo of Benj Pasek and Justin (Tyler’s brother) Paul.

The album also includes Westport’s vocal group From the Heart.  This ensemble of middle and high school performers, founded by Staples senior Caley Beretta, recorded a rendition of the inspiration song “I’ll Always be There,” written by Westporter Kevin Connors.

“Heart and Music” is available on iTunes.  Just 24 hours after its release, it was already #9 in the Vocal Genre category — squeezed between Josh Groban and Norah Jones.  All money raised from download sales benefit the Hirshberg Foundation.

(For more information, contact heartandmusicproject@gmail.com)

Barnes & Noble’s Big Lie

The sign is as direct as can be:

Barnes & Noble

“Listen to Any CD in the World.”  It doesn’t get much clearer than that.

I had my doubts.  “Any CD in the World” covers a lot of territory.  Even Shazam misses a song now and then.

I looked for an asterisk, maybe some telltale teeny-tiny small print.  Nothing.

I took a picture.  A Barnes & Noble guy walked over.  I explained my doubt.

“Oh no,” he said, looking corporately pained.  “Have you tried it?  Just type in anything.  We don’t have to have it in the store.  It gets everything.”

I strolled into the CD department..  I’ve only used the 1990s-era listening devices to sample 30-second snippets of in-stock music, via bar codes.  A helpful clerk showed me how to type in the name of “any CD in the world.”

I was thinking they might have missed a CD or 2 in Djibouti, or perhaps Papua New Guinea.  But I decided to start with an easy one.

I typed in “Midi and the Modern Dance.”  They’re a local band with a strong following — and a CD on iTunes.  Surely, a Westport store with “any CD in the world” would have Westport music.  Right?

Wrong.

Nothing.

I turned plaintively to the clerk.

“It says ‘Any CD in the World,'” I complained.

She laughed.  “That sign’s a lie.  There’s tons of stuff it doesn’t have.  I can’t believe the sign is still there.”

Neither can I, Barnes & Noble.  Neither can I.