The other day, I resolved not to write a post about New Year’s resolutions.
Like most resolutions, it did not last long.
So — with apologies for my inabiity to stick to my guns — here is my New Year’s resolution story.
In 2025, Westporters should resolve to:
Not go to the gym. Instead, leave it for people who actually want to work out. Even during the 3 weeks in January that all you resolution-makers crowd the gym, before slipping back into your slothful ways.
Park in the back of the CVS and Trader Joe’s parking lots. There is much more space. The risk of accidents is far less. And you can pretend you’re getting all the exercise you would have had, if you went to the gym.
Plenty of room here. Even if one guy created his own space.
Make your kids ride the bus to and from school. Unless there is an absolutely, positively, honestly, really damn good reason to drop them off early, or pick them up.
Not pretend not to notice when your dog poops. Sure, it’s easy to be “deep in conversation” with a friend (or an imaginary one via Bluetooth), while Spot does his business at Winslow Park or the beach. But if there is any karma in the world, you’ll eventually step in someone else’s Fido’s business, somewhere.
Another resolution: Don’t leave your bag for someone else to toss.
Ask your lawn crew to park in the driveway, not on the road. Yeah, it may be inconvenient to ask them to move, if you’ve got to leave. But our roads are crowded enough, without having to maneuver around trucks and trailers that take up half the lane.
Ask them to use electric blowers between May 15 and October 15 (and maybe pay for them yourself). After all, it’s the law. A toothless one, right. But the law nonetheless.
Patronize the places you don’t want to close. When The Porch at Christie’s announced it was shutting down, a commenter wrote, “I didn’t go there much, but I really liked it.” Business owners like it when people who like them actually go there. It helps keep them, you know, in business.
If you love a restaurant, dine there. Or at least order out!
Walk or jog facing traffic. This is one of the first life lessons my parents taught me, after not to stick my fingers in the fan. And while we’re at it …
Wear light clothes when you walk or jog at night. And if there’s a sidewalk, use that instead of the road. Duh.
Those are my resolution suggestions. What are yours?
Click “Comments” below. And please: Resolve to use your full, real name.
(Here’s one more: If you enjoy this hyper-local blog, please resolve to support it this year. We rely on our readers to keep us going. Just click here. We resolve to thank you profusely.)
