Tag Archives: A Better Chance of Westport

ABC House Now Offers “A Better Connection”

Posted on March 3, 2015 | 2 comments

In less than a decade and a half, A Better Chance of Westport has impacted the lives of dozens of young men. It’s helped provide excellent education, a chance at college, a boost up in life. (It’s also benefited many Westporters, who have learned plenty from the ABC scholars. But that’s another story.)

Though still in their 20s, ABC graduates are making their mark in business, finance and the arts.

And — as young as they are — they’ve already decided it’s time to give back.

A Better ChanceCharles Winslow leads the charge. Raised by his father in Brooklyn, he first heard of the national ABC program from his 8th grade guidance counselor. His initial reaction — “No way! I want to be cool in high school” — slowly gave way to the realization that it might open some doors.

He went through the process — SSATs, recommendation letters, interviews, a visit to Westport — and in 2005 arrived at Glendarcy House on North Avenue.

“I was a 13-year-old African American boy from Brooklym, in an affluent town of Caucasians,” Charles recalls.

“It was a culture shock. The academics at Staples were rigorous. I didn’t know what I got myself into. I called my dad every day.”

Charles Winslow, as an ABC scholar in 2008.

Charles Winslow, as an ABC scholar in 2008…

Like the other ABC scholars, he studied 3 to 4 hours a day. He did chores. Gradually — with help from older boys in the house, the house parents, and a cadre of ABC volunteers — he made his way.

Then he made his mark.

Charles became a 3-year volleyball starter, and senior captain (and won state and FCIAC championships every year he was on the team). He was co-vice-president of Junior Achievement, made money for the club, and traveled to Canada for a conference.

ABC graduate Savion Agard encouraged Charles to apply to Cornell University’s School of Hotel Administration. Charles was hesitant, but — with the help of Freudingman & Billings — he got in.

Charles continued to thrive at Cornell. He played club volleyball, tutored children, and spent a “life-changing” Semester at Sea, visiting the Great Wall of China, Taj Mahal, Vietnam, South Africa, Ghana, Morocco and Panama Canal.

He’s now an analyst in the real estate division of Goldman Sachs. During lunch breaks, he volunteers with Big Brothers Big Sisters.

But he wants to do even more.

and in 2013, beginning his career at Goldman Sachs.

…and in 2013, beginning his career at Goldman Sachs.

When he was at ABC House, Charles realizes, there were not yet any graduates making it in the working world. He had no professional role models from the program; no one to ask questions only a former ABC scholar would know how to answer.

Now there are.

Charles spoke with Steve Daniels — a Westporter, African American and corporate executive who’s been a great mentor to many ABC scholars. They devised an idea for an informal mentorship program, matching young ABC graduates with current scholars. ABC vice president Lori Sochol helped Charles refine the plan.

“There are so many things to talk about: grades, being away from home, assimilating, careers.” Charles says. “Every year we come back for the Dream Event [annual fundraiser], but we don’t really know the guys who are in the house now. This is a way to enhance that, so we can use the networks and relationships we’ve formed to help them.”

This month, the program — called A Better Connection (get it?) — begins. Charles has recruited a group of mentors. Each is assigned a mentee. They’ll talk for a minimum of 30 minutes every 2 weeks. Hopefully, deeper relationships will follow.

Charles envisions more, too: social events, a listserv to share ideas and information.

The 2014-15 ABC House scholars.

The 2014-15 ABC House scholars.

“As students of color, we got a great education in Westport,” Charles says. “But it’s important for those of us who are doing great things now, thanks to that, to help and network with younger students of color.”

This year’s Dream Event is Saturday, March 28 (7 p.m., Birchwood Country Club). Charles will be there, speaking about A Better Connection. He and other ABC grads will meet the current scholars — and their individual mentees.

One of Westport’s most valuable and meaningful programs is about to get even “better.”

(For more information on the Dream Event, click here.)

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Ruben Guardado: An ABC Scholar’s A+ Speech

Posted on April 1, 2014 | 5 comments

Yesterday, “06880” readers were inspired by a speech from Khaliq Sanda. The A Better Chance scholar spoke movingly at Saturday’s ABC gala about his 4 years in Westport.

Khaliq’s fellow senior (and roommate) Ruben Guardado also awed the large crowd. Today, “06880” readers will be similarly moved by this outstanding young man’s words. He said:

Last year, I did my junior research paper on Che Guevara. I wrote a quote that meant a lot to me in one of my notebooks. Now, as I look back on the last 4 years, it’s become even more meaningful. “The road to success,” Che said, “is pictured as one beset with perils but which it would seem an individual with the proper qualities can overcome to attain the goal. The reward is seen in the distance; the way is lonely.”

Of course, Che was talking about revolutionary struggle in Cuba and elsewhere. But I realize now that I’ve traveled the road he described.

Ruben Guardado delivers his speech at the ABC gala with confidence and poise.

Ruben Guardado delivers his speech at the ABC gala with confidence and poise.

I was a little nervous when I first came to Westport, but I was ready to dive into the world headfirst. I had visited Staples in 8th grade, and it was literally awe-inspiring. It seemed like the perfect place to go to school, but I knew that it would mean leaving behind everything — and everyone — I knew.

I grew up in San Diego, in the barrio, where everyone was Hispanic or Latino. My heritage was pretty unremarkable because it was the heritage we all shared. We didn’t think about it or talk about it. We just took it for granted: we all spoke Spanish, we all ate tamales at Christmas, we all went to quinceañeras when our cousins turned 15.

Then I moved here. And hardly anyone was Hispanic or Latino, and no one spoke Spanish — although a lot of people were trying to learn it. No one ate tamales at Christmas, and instead of quinceañeras everyone went to bar mitzvahs. Suddenly my heritage became pretty remarkable, even to me. And that is probably the most important aspect of my experience as an ABC scholar. Being here has enabled me to grow and change — but also to become more myself.

Graduating seniors Ruben Guardado (right) and Khaliq Sanda pose with Anthony Soto, the gala MC, and the 1st Westport ABC alum to earn a graduate degree.

Graduating seniors Ruben Guardado (right) and Khaliq Sanda pose with Anthony Soto, the 1st Westport ABC alum to earn a graduate degree.

When I first got here, my day-to-day interactions with the kids who became my friends, the teachers who taught me, and the adults who cared for me highlighted the differences between us. The weight of it all finally hit me. I walked around with a large lead ball in my stomach. But even though I was homesick, I had the support of my family and the A Better Chance community.

In time, I found my place in the school community, and I found activities I enjoyed and people I really liked. I stopped seeing my peers as a monolithic group of teenagers, and I started seeing them as individuals. And I think that the same thing happened to them: they stopped seeing me as a Hispanic kid and started seeing me as Ruben, who happens to be Hispanic.

It has totally been a 2-way street. We have shared and borrowed from each other’s cultures. And now I am proud to be Ruben, who happens to be Hispanic and who happens to wear Sperry Topsiders, which I can guarantee you no one in the barrio wears. When I wear them home on break, I definitely get some funny looks. But I am kind of proud of them. They are proof that I am part of 2 cultures now. I am San Diego and Westport.

As a junior — feeling more secure — Ruben chose Che Guevara as the topic for his research paper. He learned that despite his flaws, Che had a vision to help the unrepresented and oppressed. Ruben also learned that his culture is filled with leaders, pioneers, writers, artists, scientists and musicians.

Ruben thought that engineering might be a way to address some of the problems he saw in San Diego and elsewhere. He understood the importance of working together, to help others. He repeated Che’s quote: “The reward is seen in the distance; the way is lonely.”

But, Ruben continued: My way has not been lonely. Even at the beginning, when I first got here, I never felt alone. I always knew there were people who were with me every step of the way.

Volunteers for the A Better Chance gala included Staples students. The signed Joe Namath jersey on the wall was one of many auction items.

Volunteers for the A Better Chance gala included Staples students. The signed Joe Namath jersey on the wall was one of many auction items.

He thanked past and present ABC chairmen Steve Daniels and Eric Seidman, house parents Desiree and Titus McDougald, house cook Merrill Boehmer, many volunteer drivers and tutors, and his host family: Nancy Yates, Bob Andrew, and their sons Sam, Ben and Eli. Then he said:

Although only one member of my family is here, I would like to thank my dad, Ricardo, who was the motivation for everything I did. My brother Raul and sister Viri were always waiting for me to get home so we could get back to bickering, which — strangely — I missed while I was away.

And last but not least, the most important person throughout this entire process: my mother, Teresa, who was my inspiration, as well as a great friend when I needed someone to talk to. Thank you all for always being there and for supporting me in everything that I do.

Ruben paused, took a big breath, smiled, and concluded:

I’ve learned many things during the past 4 years, but the most important thing I’ve learned is who I am. As much as this has been a journey of miles, it’s been a journey of self-discovery.  I am who I am because of all of you.

Thank you.

 

 

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Khaliq Sanda Thanks Westport; We Should Thank Him

Posted on March 31, 2014 | 10 comments

Saturday night’s A Better Chance gala was — as it always is — one of the most emotional, warm and beneficial (as in fund-raising) nights of the year.

Hundreds of Westporters mingled with ABC House graduates, and were gratified to hear updates on their highly accomplished lives. There were silent and live auctions. The food was excellent.

Khaliq Sanda, speaking at Saturday's A Better Chance gala.

Khaliq Sanda, speaking at Saturday’s A Better Chance gala.

But the highlight of the evening — as it always is — was a pair of speeches by current Staples seniors. Khaliq Sanda and Ruben Guardado talked about their difficult journeys to, and through, Westport. They graciously thanked all who had helped them so far, and promised to help others who follow them.

They spoke humbly, with honesty, insight and power. They stood tall and proud. They awed us. For all they have given us, we are profoundly grateful.

Here is part of what Khaliq said:

Almost exactly a decade before I was born, President Reagan stood in front of the Brandenburg Gate and said, “Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall.” He was speaking literally about the barrier that separated East and West Berlin. I want to talk about metaphorical walls.

When my parents were in their 20s, they emigrated from Cameroon to the United States. Their motivation was the same as most immigrants: they wanted their children to get the kind of education that is unavailable in the country they come from. Their move to a strange and unfamiliar country — through checkpoints and gates and then up and over an invisible wall — was a sacrifice that I think about every day. My parents’ American lives and the fact that I am standing here in front of you today are proof that these walls can be scaled. But climbing over them requires more than just the usual factors, like perseverance, determination, adaptability, hard work, and good luck. It requires, above all, a human ladder to help you vault over the barricade.

It was not easy for Khaliq to enter Staples as a freshman. He did not know a single person, but every classmate seemed to know everyone else. “I was on one side of the wall,” he said. “Everyone else was on the other.” He wondered if the next 4 years of his life would be like that.

He found refuge in — “of all places” — Karen Thomas’ geometry class. Her dedication to teaching — and to him — was profound. Khaliq found other “amazing” educators at Staples — Heather Colletti-Houde, Will Jones, Christina Richardson, Suzanne Kammerman, and more — and he flourished.

Other strong arms lifted him up.

My host family, the Mathiases, was indispensable. Kim and Mark, your compassion, care, and willingness to make me a part of your family are the greatest gifts you could have given me. Nick and Nicole, you are the younger brother and sister I always wanted but would have treated really badly if you actually were my younger brother and sister. This way is better: I love you and I like you. If you ever need me, know I’m only a phone call away.

Khaliq Sanda with his host family: Nick, Kim, Mark and Nicole Mathias.

Khaliq Sanda with his host family: Nick, Kim, Mark and Nicole Mathias.

Khaliq also thanked the resident directors at ABC House; his fellow residents; ABC board members and volunteers, who provided a home away from home, rides and much else.

He spoke of his bonds with Michael Newman and the Peer Advisors group. In fact, he said, Michael is the reason he wants to study neuroscience. He thanked Kim Freudigman, for helping him reach his dream of studying at a university he once would never have dreamed of applying to.

Then, the once friendless Khaliq — now one of the most popular students at Staples — said:

If you’re going to climb a really massive, imposing wall, you’re going to need to stand on the shoulders of giants — young giants. There is absolutely no way I would have been able to make it through this program without my best friends and their families. Roscoe Brown, Grant Heller, Cooper Shippee, Jeremy Langham, Austin Nicklas, Joey Schulman, Charlie Leonard, Henri Rizack, Eliza Yass, Annie and Lauren Raifaisen, Elizabeth Colwell, Emily Korn, Elizabeth Camche and Caroline O’Brien — thank you. You have been there for me through thick and thin. When I have needed someone to talk to or share a laugh with, you were my first choice, my early decision. You have been crucial in my life beyond what any of you will ever understand or I could put into words. Without revealing anything that could get us all in trouble, let me just say… I don’t think there’s been a single dull moment.

Khaliq Sanda at a formal dance, with great friends Roscoe Brown, Emily Korn and Elizabeth Camche.

Khaliq Sanda at a formal dance, with great friends Roscoe Brown, Emily Korn and Elizabeth Camche.

Without sounding boastful, Khaliq described his life in Westport: 10 AP classes, a job at Internal Medicine of Westport, volunteer work with the Key Club, “advocating for students on Student Assembly, and trying to maintain the façade of a well-rested, happy-go-lucky, not-a-care-in-the-world, totally color-coordinated teenager.”

He concluded by reaching back to his original reference to walls.

When President Reagan asked President Gorbachev to tear down the wall, East Germans and West Germans had been separated for nearly 30 years. You can imagine — I can imagine — what they were thinking: the people on the other side of the wall are not like me. Their lives are not like my life. Their problems are not like my problems.

A Better ChanceThat’s what I thought when I first moved here. From my side of the wall, Westport seemed like a picture-book town. The reality is much more complex. I feel incredibly fortunate to have lived here for 4 years, but I also feel incredibly fortunate to have lived in Queens and Lawrenceville, Georgia, and to have been born into my amazing family. We don’t have a Range Rover in the driveway, but there is always a home-cooked meal on the kitchen table. And our house isn’t 11,000 square feet, but it’s filled with the people I love most in the world, filled with laughter and joy.

My journey these last 4 years is similar to the one my parents took when they were only a little older than I am now: moving to a place unlike your home, starting over with no family or friends to support you, and having to stay strong even when things were rocky. I think my parents would say that every moment of their journey was worth it, and every day, I am amazed by how strong, courageous, caring, and wise my parents are. Mom and Dad, you mean the world to me, I thank you again for having the confidence in me, and I hope I’ve made you proud. I love you guys.

Thank you all for helping me climb over the wall.

Stay tuned for Ruben Guardado’s speech.

 

 

 

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ABC House Celebrates Dreams And Successes

Posted on March 4, 2014 | 4 comments

The house — low-slung, red-brick, nondescript — is easy to miss. It’s at the corner of North Avenue and Cross Highway; most drivers just want to get through the crowded 4-way intersection without getting hit.

But “Glendarcy House” is one of the most special places in Westport.

ABC's Glendarcy House on North Avenue.

ABC’s Glendarcy House on North Avenue.

For 14 years, it’s been home to A Better Chance. Over 2 dozen young men of color have benefited from the chance to study at Staples High School, participate in extracurricular and town activities, and develop their natural gifts and talents in a way that might not have been possible in their economically disadvantaged hometowns.

Along the way, they have given back to Westport at least as much as they’ve gotten. They contribute their time, energy and outsize personalities to countless classes, projects, organizations and causes. They enrich the lives of their classmates, teachers and host families, in immeasurable ways.

Hundreds of Westporters have helped make ABC the success it is. They’ve volunteered in areas like fundraising, academic support, transportation and home renovation.

It’s a wonderful relationship — one that goes both ways, and radiates in many directions. On Saturday, March 29 (7 p.m., Unitarian Church), ABC honors its scholars, volunteers and itself with the annual “Dream Event.” There are lots of townwide celebrations, for tons of worthy causes, but this is one of the best.

A Better Chance alumni enjoying last year's Dream Event.

A Better Chance alumni enjoying last year’s Dream Event. Seated (from left): Jahari Dodd, Charles Winslow, Wesley Lemon, Shamir Clayton. Standing: Jonathan Choi, Savion Agard, Khalif Rivers, Stephan Patterson.

Most of the scholar alumni will be there. Among them: Anthony Soto, the 1st to get his master’s degree (it’s in business administration, from Assumption College).

Also in the spotlight: Jahari Dodd. Well known to Staples Players fans, he will graduate this year from Tufts — the 16th ABC/Staples alum to earn a college diploma.

Taking center stage are Khaliq Sanda and Ruben Guardado, 2 young men who will graduate from Staples in June.

This year's ABC scholars.

This year’s ABC scholars.

Khaliq works after school at Internal Medicine Associates. He also tutors; has been involved with Key Club, Peer Advisors, Student Assembly and Student Ambassadors; is an active member of Saugatuck Congregational Church, and served on 3 mission trips across the US. Khaliq was accepted at Vanderbilt and wait-listed by Stanford. He hopes to study neuroscience, with the goal of becoming a psychiatrist.

“I am truly grateful for all this community has done for me,” Khaliq says. “I look forward to finding ways to give back in the future.”

ABC logoRuben created ABC’s new website, and as a member of Service League of Boys (SLOBs) helps maintain their website too. He tutors elementary age students in Bridgeport through Caroline House; is a Student Ambassador at Staples, rock climbs in Fairfield, and plays rec soccer. He plans to pursue a degree in mechanical engineering.

“I want to thank the long list of members of the ABC community who have done so much for me,” Ruben says. “It has been a great learning experience, and I am glad I decided to attend Staples.”

The Dream Event is very cool. There’s a silent auction, great entertainment and food, and much more. It’s all fun, and very special.

But the real reason to go: speeches from Ruben, Khaliq, Jahari and Anthony, this year’s high school and college graduates. All 4 will bring tears to your eyes — and a smile to your face.

Click here for tickets to the Dream Event; RSVPs are due this Friday, March 7. That’s also the day the online auction begins, at www.abetterchanceofwestport.org
 
Here’s a video made 4 years ago, commemorating ABC’s 1st 10 years. Click here if your browser does not take you directly to YouTube.
 

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Making The Most Of A Better Chance

Posted on June 23, 2013 | 5 comments

Eight years ago, Westport’s ABC House welcomed 3 new Staples freshmen.

Joining A Better Chance — chosen from applicants all over the country — were Jonathan Choi, Charles Winslow and Khalif Rivers.

ABC logoThey quickly immersed themselves in local life. Jonathan made the Staples High School golf team, joined the Break Dancing Club, and spent many Saturdays in New York City, participating in academic enrichment programs. In 2009, he was  Staples’ salutatorian.

Charles was a captain of the volleyball team, a Junior Achievement participant, and held a part-time job.

Khalif played Staples football, and served as a mentor to young ABC scholars.

This spring, all 3 graduated from college. Jonathan went to Harvard, Charles to Cornell, and Khalif to West Virginia University.

(From left) Charles Winslow, Khalif Rivers and Jonathan Choi, at an ABC event earlier this year.

(From left) Charles Winslow, Khalif Rivers and Jonathan Choi, at an ABC event earlier this year.

So what’s next? Two will work in New York: Jonathan with Lazard Freres as an investment banking analyst focusing on M&A and restructuring; Charles as an analyst at Goldman Sachs, in corporate services and real estate development.

Khalif is taking a year off. Then he’ll start working on his master’s degree in counseling psychology.

I can’t imagine 3 better stories coming out of ABC. Or 3 better examples of why “A Better Chance” may just be the world’s most perfect acronym.

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Frank Hall: A Minister Cut From A Different Cloth

Posted on June 4, 2013 | 1 comment

As a teenager growing up near Boston, Frank Hall thought about being a minister.

Only one thing stopped him: He didn’t believe in certain things. Like the Apostles’ Creed. Or the virgin birth.

“A lot of those ideas had to be metaphors, right?” he says.

But while teaching at Wellesley High School from 1962 to ’69, and being drawn into the anti-war movement, Frank also became a Unitarian Church youth group advisor.

Frank Hall today.

Frank Hall today.

His beard and activism as a draft counselor landed him in some trouble with school administrators. A minister who helped mediate the dispute told Frank, “You should be a minister.”

“I don’t believe in God!” he replied.

That seemed perfect for Unitarians. During 3 years at Boston University School of Theology he also served as assistant minister of a small, socially active congregation. Noam Chomsky was a member.

He was called to Attleboro, where he spent 12 happy years as senior minister. In 1984 the Westport Unitarian Church contacted him. Frank was not interested in leaving, but one Sunday afternoon he drove down, by himself.

He found an open door. A lifelong poetry lover, he stood at the pulpit in the stunning building surrounded by woods, and recited lines from Emerson and Whitman.

“I felt an amazing sense that this is where I should be,” he recalls.

He’s been here ever since.

This Sunday (June 9) Frank Hall delivers his last sermon. He’ll be feted the following Sunday (June 16). Then the 73-year-old retires — though he has no plans to leave Westport.

Frank Hall, in the place he feels he was "meant to be." (Photo by Erik Trautmann/The Hour)

Frank Hall, in the place he feels he was “meant to be.” (Photo by Erik Trautmann/The Hour)

He looks back on 3 decades of association with “an amazing group of people in this church.” He has felt warmly welcomed — despite what may be a unique admission from a minister.

“I make no apologies for my theology, or lack of it,” Frank says. “I could be who I am here.” His was a ministry of poetry, he says.

“It hasn’t always been easy,” Frank admits. “This is not Kansas anymore. Fairfield County is not New England. It’s New York.” For a lifelong Bay Stater — the 3rd of 9 children, and son of a roofer — that took some getting used to.

But he brought a sense of stability to the church on Lyons Plains Road, he says. He did it by being “spiritual, without the theological baggage that goes along with that. Most clergy don’t like to hear ‘I’m spiritual, but not religious’ — that’s not a good customer — but spirituality can be expressed in many ways. Books and music, for instance.”

Frank says the Westport Unitarian Church’s sanctuary — with its physical connection to the outdoors — is another expression of spirituality.

Westport's Unitarian Church

Westport’s Unitarian Church

The sanctuary was the site of Westport’s 1st gay and lesbian commitment ceremonies, during Frank’s 1st year here in 1984. He is proud of his role in making the Unitarian Church a welcoming place for the LGBT community.

He is proud too of the congregation’s growth. During his tenure the church introduced a 2nd Sunday service, and hired full-time religious education, music and social justice directors, as well as a paid youth advisor. Nine members of the church have moved from the pews into ministry.

During his ministry, Frank held dozens of 6-week sessions with small groups. They talked about spiritual journeys. Frank’s journeys also took concrete form: He took 29 “coming-of-age groups” (14-year-olds) to Boston, touring important sites in and around the birthplace of Unitarianism.

He cherishes his friendship — and regular meetings — with other clergy. “We’re a real support group for each other,” he notes. “We’re on the liberal spectrum, but they say I’m off the spectrum.”

Frank’s community involvement included the formation of the local A Better Chance house. He is also on the board of Temenos Institute.

Retirement will include spending time with his wife Lory, a hospice worker. He also hopes to publish.

Frank Hall's home, for 30 years.

Frank Hall’s home, for 30 years.

“I’ve written 1,000 sermons, but I’ve never published anything,” Frank says. He’s eager too to revisit the 4 journals he filled during a 5-month sabbatical, 20 years ago. He drove across the country by himself, in a VW Vanagon, enjoying detailed conversations with many people he met. He envisions a book that’s “not just a travelogue, but an inner journey.”

Five years ago, Frank was diagnosed with Parkinson’s. He wanted to work 5 more years. His neurologist said, “No problem.”

“It’s worked out,” Frank says. “I feel blessed by my work. I feel blessed, as Robert Frost wrote, that I could unite my vocation and my avocation.

“It’s been a great run. A great trip. Now I’m ready to start a new chapter.”

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Staples Students: A Bunch of SLOBS

Posted on May 5, 2013 | 17 comments

Today was Service Sunday for SLOBS — or, to spell it out, Staples Service League of Boys.

Over 150 club members and their parents worked on community service projects at 8 locations around Westport (and 1 yesterday). They:

  • Painted equipment at  Compo  Beach Skate Park
  • Moved and spread 22 tons of sand and 15 tons of gravel at Earthplace
  • Performed a variety of tasks at Wakeman Town Farm
  • Did spring cleaning at the Westport Historical Society barn and grounds
  • Painted, landscaped, planted and did heavy-duty cleaning at the ABC House, Project Return, Gillespie Center, Bacharach Houses and Saugatuck Apartments.

Kids these days…

Some of the many SLOBS in action.

Some of the many SLOBS in action.

PS: Big props to Westport Pizzeria, Elvira’s, Angelina’s and Planet Pizza for keeping everyone hydrated and well fed.

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Fulfilling Families

Posted on March 7, 2013 | 18 comments

In 2003, Mark and Kim Mathias celebrated their 1st year in Westport. They loved the town, but missed the racial diversity of Los Angeles.

ABC logoFriends Ivan and Sharon Fong listened with interest. Both were on the board of A Better Chance of Westport. They described ABC’s mission — “giving motivated, outstanding minority youth the opportunity to achieve their dreams through education” — and suggested the Mathiases be a host family.

It was a great idea. A decade later, the family remains passionately involved.

(Host families provide a home away from the North Avenue residence every Sunday, and 1 weekend a month. ABC scholars participate in regular family activities —  meals, movies, even chores.)

“We were very impressed by the courage these 13- and 14-year-old young men showed, leaving the comfort of their families to strive for a better education and opportunity in Westport,” Kim says.

“I was particularly intrigued by the culture shock I was sure these youth would feel, and how they handled it. ABC offers impressive support, but not everyone can handle the academic rigor, the congregate living, the rules, the fish bowl, the standing out in a high pressure community.”

The current ABC scholars (from left): Adrian, Christopher, Ruben, Rhyse, Khaliq, Luis and Thomas.

The current ABC scholars (from left): Adrian, Christopher, Ruben, Rhyse, Khaliq, Luis and Thomas.

Savion Agard was 13 he when arrived as a freshman in Westport. The Mathiases’ daughter Nicole was 6.

“We knew there would be adjustments, but Savion was to be treated as a member of the family — not a guest we entertained,” Kim recalls.

“In our family we say grace before meals. At the end of the prayer we give each other a light kiss. I was concerned about how Savion would feel.”

Nicole defused any discomfort when she blew him a kiss across the table. The ice was broken.

Savion proved a great fit for the family.

“He was easy-going — probably too easy-going when it came to his studies in the first year or so,” Kim reports.

Eventually, he found his way academically and socially.  An older ABC scholar introduced Savion to rugby, which gave him a great group of friends and plenty of confidence.

When Savion Agard graduated from Cornell, the Mathias family was there. From left: Kim, Nick, Savion, Nicole and Mark.

When Savion Agard graduated from Cornell University in 2011, the Mathias family was there. From left: Kim, Nick, Savion, Nicole and Mark.

“We watched Savion mature from a somewhat overwhelmed freshman trying to figure out how to manage his studies and all the ABC expectations placed on him, to a sophomore more comfortable with his ‘I’m not from here’ persona, to a junior who was comfortable at Staples, to a senior who had made friends and found a place for himself in the Class of 2007,” Kim says.

When a 2nd-grade friend saw a family photo and asked who Savion was, Nicole said, “That’s my big brother Savion.” The little girl wondered why he was a different color.

Instantly, Nicole replied, “You don’t have to be the same color to be a family.”

Kim was thrilled. “Neither Mark nor I had ever said those words to Nicole. She just knew it, because that was what we were living.”

A year after Savion became Nicole’s big brother, she became a big sister to her foster (now adopted) brother Nick. He and Savion developed a special relationship. It deepened after graduation.

When Savion returned to Westport to visit or work, he lived with Mathiases. The kids treated him as a rock star, racing to tackle him as he walked through the door. He calls every birthday and Christmas. Email and Facebook enable constant communication.

Some of the ABC alumni gathered for a reunion. Many visit Westport whenever they can.

ABC alumni gather for a reunion. Many visit Westport whenever they can.

After Savion went on Cornell — he’s now an IT headhunter in California — the Mathiases tried to adjust to not having a high school student in the house. (Helping him move to college, and visiting him regularly, proved to be great practice for when the Mathiases own kids are that age, Mark noted.)

In 2010, ABC asked if the Mathiases would again be a host family. They asked Savion what he thought. “Being part of your family was the highlight of my experience with ABC,” he said. The Mathiases were thrilled.

Their closeness with Savion made them concerned about replicating the experience — until they met Khaliq.

“We realized he would be a wonderful addition to our family too,” Kim says. “What a testament to ABC that they find such fine young men.”

Khaliq joins Nick, Kim, Nicole and Mark Mathias for an Easter family portrait.

Khaliq joins Nick, Kim, Nicole and Mark Mathias for an Easter family portrait.

Like Savion, Khaliq is strongly motivated.

“I attended one of the best middle schools in Georgia. I could probably go to one of the best high schools in Georgia too,” he told friends of the Mathiases.

“But when you realize that Georgia’s education system ranks 47th in the nation you think ‘big deal, my best-ranked school is  still in a school system that’s 47th in the US.  That’s when I thought maybe I should look elsewhere for my education.”

Kim says, “That’s impressive thinking at any age. It’s really impressive when you consider Khaliq was 13 years old.”

Khaliq’s academic transition to Westport was smooth. As a freshman he  dropped his free period, to add  Algebra 2.

By sophomore year Khaliq knew everyone, and everyone knew him. He was in a variety of clubs, played volleyball and  had an active social life.

This year, as a junior, Khaliq is a leader in student government and other school and extracurricular activities, while juggling what many would finding a crushing load of AP classes. Through it all, Kim says, “Khaliq maintains his balance, his cool, and his warm smile.”

When Savion Agard returned for last year's A Better Chance of Westport Dream Event, he visited the Mathiases -- and Khaliq.

When Savion Agard returned for last year’s A Better Chance of Westport Dream Event, he visited the Mathiases — and Khaliq.

The Mathiases’ journey with Khaliq continues to unfold. Nicole and Nick both call him their brother – sometimes still confounding classmates.

But there’s no confusion among the Mathiases, or anyone at ABC House. They know there are many ways to be a family.

(And many ways to be a host family — including substitutes, when the regular host family is away. ABC House is always on the lookout for more volunteers. For information, email radydian@optonline.net or nyates@post.harvard.edu.)

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A Fabled Road Race Returns

Posted on April 15, 2012 | 5 comments

Remember 1978? The year that President Carter convened the Camp David summit; Rev. Jim Jones’ followers committed mass suicide in Guyana, and Sony introduced the Walkman.

It was also the year the Westport Young Woman’s League introduced a 10K race.

The women’s organization and road running may not seem a natural fit, but 35 years ago 10K races were all the rage. Members traveled around the state to watch other races. They set a course and rounded up business sponsors.

By 1979 they were, um, off to the races. Running past the Minuteman statue near Compo Beach gave the April event a name it’s had ever since.

600 runners paid the initial $3 registration fee, and started at Jesup Green. The League provided coffee and donuts, water stations, electronic timers and t-shirts. The Staples Jazz Band played at the finish line.

The 2nd year, rain turned everyone’s labels to mush. But the race was a hit. Within a few years, proceeds contributed to charity doubled.

In 1985 the starting point was moved to the beach. The distance was changed to 5 miles. Two years later, a “scamper” race was added.

The start of a Minute Man race is always fun. This was the scene at last year's 10K.

The 1999 event featured online registration. The technological change met an immovable force — snow, hail and rain — but by then nothing could stop the Minute Man Race.

For the 25th annual running in 2003 the length was changed again, to a 5K. The hope — that more recreational runners would sign up for a shorter race — worked.

A 10K was added later, in honor of the League’s 50th anniversary.

Last year's kids' race. On your mark, get set, go!

This year’s events — a 5K, 10K and kids’ fun run — is set for Sunday, April 29. There will be over 1,000 runners. 120 volunteers will coordinate everything — including 4 water stations.

Participants can pick the recipient of their registration donation from over 2 dozen local charities. Alphabetically, they range from A Better Chance and Al’s Angels to the Westport Public Library.

Much has changed since 1978, including the course, distance and number of participants.

But it’s still one of Westport’s favorite events. It still benefits many worthy organizations.

And runners still listen to music as they pound the pavement.

On iPods. Not Walkmen.

(Click here for information on the Minute Man race, including registration.)

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“A Decade Of Dreams” For ABC

Posted on March 5, 2012 | Comments Off on “A Decade Of Dreams” For ABC

Twelve years ago, several Westport citizens had a dream. They wanted to bring A Better Chance — a national program that since 1963 has provided educational opportunities to students of color from economically disadvantaged areas — to Westport.

The challenges were daunting. Where would the students live? Who would provide supervision, meals, transportation, medical care? How would they spend weekends, holidays, school vacations? What about college prep, applications, SAT tests?

And, of course: Where would the money come from?

The founding directors — Barbara Butler, Dave Driscoll, Lisa Friedland, Peggy Kamins, Ann Pawlick — never doubted they would succeed. Their only concern was doing it right.

They certainly did.

Westport’s first ABC scholars arrived at Glendarcy House on North Avenue in 2002. Since then, nearly 2 dozen young men have benefited from the chance to study at Staples High School, and participate in extracurricular activities. Along the way they’ve been helped by hundreds of Westporters, who have volunteered their time, energy and money in areas ranging from fundraising, academic support and hosting, to renovating the residence.

At the same time, the ABC scholars have contributed greatly to the school and town. They’ve given their time, energy, unique talents and outsize personalities to countless classes, projects, organizations and causes.

On Saturday, March 31 (6:30-10:30 p.m., Unitarian Church), ABC honors itself and its scholars — and raises important funds — with a “Decade of Dreams” event. In addition to great food, exciting entertainment, and a wide-ranging live and silent auction, the evening will honor ABC’s founding fathers and mothers.

ABC of Westport founders (from left): Lisa Friedland, Dave Driscoll, Peggy Kamins, Barbara Butler, Ann Pawlick.

Dave Driscoll was the man who visualized what ABC could do and be in Westport. His roots were in the corporate world, but he worked tirelessly to make this non-profit a reality.

Barbara Butler‘s intimate knowledge of town agencies was invaluable in navigating the labyrinth of permits, permissions and other red tape necessary to make ABC House a reality.

Lisa Friedland — who knows just about everyone in Westport — was one of the program’s early, and most energetic, guiding lights.

Ann Pawlick gave ABC its “look,” through newsletters, holiday cards, invitations, gift cards, and tons of other creative, handsome graphic material.

Peggy Kamins spent her time in the back rooms, figuring out computer issues, working on spreadsheets, organizing mailings and completing monumental tasks.

Though not a founder, 2-time president Steve Daniels‘ passion for the program, and sensitivity to the challenges faced by the scholars as well as the volunteers, helped make ABC House what it is today.

None seek the spotlight. All will take deserved bows at the “Decade of Dreams.”

Current ABC of Westport scholars (from left): Emerson Lovell, Stephan Patterson, Isaiah Nieves, Luis Cruz, Khaliq Sanda, Ruben Guardaro, Rhyse McLean.

But the evening will really be about the entire town — those who live at Glendarcy House, those who make it what it is, and those who want it to succeed.

To help it continue, a “wish list” is already online (click here). Covering items like computer supplies, yearbooks for seniors, prom expenses, cap-and-gown-fees, sports logowear, snacks like Subway and Chinese food, and Netflix rentals, this allows Westporters to help out with extra costs that help the ABC scholars share the same experiences as other Staples students.

It’s easy to forget what it’s like to be 13 or 14 years old and leave home, friends and school, move hundreds or thousands of miles away, enter a new culture and school, and live in a group home with resident directors.

And we sometimes forget what it’s like to do all the hard work necessary to make such a program succeed — far beyond  its modest beginnings.

March 31 is a fantastic chance to remember.

(Online bidding for the auction begins Thursday [March 8]. Live auction items can be previewed at the website too. Tickets to the “Decade of Dreams” event can be purchased by clicking here.)

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