The brainchild of longtime Westporters Suzanne Sheridan and Rozanne Gates, it’s a chance to do something we always talk about but seldom find time for: document our lives, for our families and all who will follow.
Thanks to his wife’s determination — and the talents of Suzanne and Rozanne — Ed told his life story. His children and grandchildren now have a fuller understanding of how he became the man he was.
Others can learn about him too. The book the Legacy Project USA created — “A Tale of Courage in Red, White, and Blue” — is now in the Weston Library.
Suzanne Sheridan and Rozanne Gates
For more than a decade, the Legacy Project has documented other local residents’ stories too, including Dick Pauker (businessman, sculptor and an original founder of the Westport Arts Center); Colleen Plantinga (mother of Prill Boyle, prominent member of the Westport Garden Club and Saugatuck Congregational Church), and Sally Sellars (whose husband Howard Lathrop designed the new Museum of Contemporary Art).
The Legacy Project offers many options. Life stories can be documented and preserved as audio or video recordings, photo albums or authored biographies.
As many people stuck at home during the coronavirus pandemic now understand, many things we’ve always done in person can now be done by phone, or remotely. That’s true of Legacy Project USA interviews too.
In these self-isolating days, we’re finding time to go through those long-delayed projects. We’re also realizing that when life is precious, documenting our histories becomes more important than ever.
Suddenly, The Legacy Project is at the top of our to-do lists.
(For more information, click here or call 203-222-1441.)
No one knows when Compo Beach and Longshore will reopen.
But when they do, the Parks & Recreation Department will be ready.
After announcing in November that Joey’s by the Shore is no longer the concessionaire at the beach, pool and halfway house, Parks & Rec sent out an RFP.
There were 5 responses. Three applicants were interviewed. And the winner is …
Upsilon Entertainment Group.
The Larchmont, New York-based firm begins the approval process at a Board of Finance meeting tomorrow (Wednesday. April 1). The 8 p.m. Zoom meeting will be livestreamed on WestportCT.gov, and shown on on Optimum channel 79 and Frontier channel 6020.
Then, at a public meeting on April 7 (8:30 a.m.), the Planning & Zoning Commission considers the 1st selectman’s 8-24 Request for a Report about the new concessionaire. The meeting will be streamed live on the town website, and on Cablevision Channel 79.
The P&Z’s purview is to consider the overall planning impact of the proposed lease for the use of these municipal spaces. Public comment can be made in writing only. Email pandz@westportct.gov, to ensure that comments are circulated to the entire P&Z Commission.
Closed dining rooms and curbside delivery offer stark reminders of the coranvirus’ devastating impact on an important slice of Westport life.
Less visible is what’s happened to caterers.
They’re the backbone of Westport’s culinary scene. They’re at every social event in town, serving superb food and making us feel, well, really catered to.
We seldom think of the work behind the scenes: shopping, prepping, cooking, transporting.
And we never think of the constant grind of finding clients, presenting tasting menus, signing contracts, and managing the back end of a business.
Just over 2 weeks ago, that business imploded.
In the hours after schools closed, and town officials held an emergency press conference, the owner of AMG Catering & Events lost just about every booking.
Several fundraisers, 2 art shows, a barn party, a wedding, 1 bar and 1 bat mitzvah, christenings, Passover seders, Easter dinners — all set for March and April — vanished.
Some were postponed to the fall — or spring of 2021. Others were canceled outright.
Graduation parties in June are on hold. Meanwhile — as uncertainty fills the air — no one is booking anything new.
Also gone: her spring adult cooking classes.
Alison Milwe Grace
Meanwhile, Grace — a 1988 Staples High School graduate — has fixed costs, like rent for her commercial kitchen. And she worries about all the part-time employees, like cooks and servers, who depend on her.
But you don’t spend 3 decades in the catering business without building up plenty of good will.
Grace has been heartened by the reactions of her longtime clients.
“The minute this happened, I had an incredible support system,” she says. “People asked for massive quantities for their freezers.”
At first it was mainly soups. As she asked what they wanted, she began cooking stews, chili, full meals.
With time on their hands, many clients are cooking for themselves. But, Grace notes, “that can be exhausting. Some people want me to help, with 2 or 3 dinners a week, or soups for lunch.”
They’re also grateful to not have to shop themselves, or order online. “You have no idea what your supermarket will be out of,” Grace says. “And you don’t know what’s in your Instacart or Peapod delivery.” Assuming, of course, that you can get one.
A professional caterer is helpful for people looking to eat healthy. Cooking that way is not as easy as it sounds.
Food for the soul …
To make ordering easy, Grace creates “Food for the Soul” curbside menus — a different one each weekday.
Want a taste? This coming Monday, it’s arroz con pollo, and tomato dill soup with brown rice.
Grace is adapting in other ways. Instead of a 20-person minimum for a Seder, she’s now doing them for 4.
Caterers are used to working closely with health departments. A pandemic makes that paramount.
Grace follows strict guidelines. She does not shop at grocery stores. All provisions are delivered by vendors.
… and soups too!
Practicing social isolation, Grace cooks by herself. “It’s just me. There’s no one else in the kitchen. I’m following every CDC and local health rule,” she says.
But — like many food professionals in Westport — Grace is spending some of her time helping others. She has cooked for the Gillespie Center, and hopes to do the same for hospital staffs.
“Cooking de-stresses me,” she says. “It’s helping save my mental life.
“Before the virus, all I wanted to do was feed people. Now, I want to do that even more. All I have is food.”
And a bit more time. Every night she, her husband Bob, and their 3 teenagers spend an hour together at dinner.
“We could never do that before. Now it’s a highlight of my day. And I know it is for other families too.”
(Search for AMGCatering on Instagram; email amilwe@optonline.net, or call 203-858-4635. Of course, AMG is just one of many local catering companies hit hard by the virus. Grace urges you to reach to out any of them, and find out their offers.)
By this point, nearly everyone in Westport knows someone who has suffered from COVID-19.
And by now, everyone should know that it does not strike only the elderly, or those with underlying health issues.
If you don’t believe that — or don’t think you know someone affected by the coronavirus — think again.
Ari Edelson is a 1994 graduate of Staples High School. After starring with Staples Players — including directing their groundbreaking production of “Falsettos” — and graduating from both Yale and the Royal Scottish Academy of Music and Drama, he earned international fame as a producer and director in the US and Europe.
A few years ago, Ari Edelson was honored with a Westport Arts Center Horizon Award. (Photo/Emily Hamilton Laux)
On Sunday, Ari — who is in his mid-40s, and has been in excellent health — posted this on Facebook:
Hi, folks. Many of you have been amazing over the last 2 weeks as I dealt with being both home quarantined and put totally through the wringer with COVID-19. I just wanted to share my most heartfelt gratitude as I’m coming out the other side of it.
On March 15, I started having a minor elevated temp and cough, which then fully exploded into 8 days of delirious fevers of 103, coughs, and drenching sweats.
After a 2-week nightmarish battle, I have now been afebrile for 2 days, comfortable and gaining strength.
Julia Levy has been a superwoman through it all, not only taking care of me, but also somehow also keeping Eliot and Leo on their best behavior, coordinating care with my father (my forever medical hero), not to mention coming up with home school ideas for hundreds of thousands of other families through her work at Sparkler and Noggin.
Ari Edelson, Julia Levy and their son Eliot, in 2017.
She is truly phenomenal, as is the rest of my family. I am so thankful to the generous folks at Weill Cornell and Yale New Haven, who provided me and my family desperately appreciated guidance.
I am more than happy to answer questions for anyone, if my experience can be helpful. To one question I am getting already: Even though I went through New York State’s intake process to be tested on March 20, I was never able to get a test, and never even got the promised return phone call.
I cannot blame the state for it — they are more than overrun. But the failure of full national leadership to address this one fundamental issue and own up to it should give anyone pause about how you take care of a populace that you cannot even test.
If you cannot test, you cannot plan, and the data we are all seeing currently is faulty at its core. I will continue to be one of the likely hundreds of thousands of COVID cases that are unreported, an entire quadrant of data that may entirely shift understanding of the disease and our planning for it.
One other thing that we learned through this process was the importance of acquiring a pulse oximeter, a tiny little finger meter used to measure 02 circulation. With consistent use it kept us on top of this horrible virus as best we could, highlighting my luck in maintaining sufficient lung function and providing the light and sanity that kept us focused on convalescing and not taxing precious healthcare resources.
We were lucky that my O2 levels never went beneath the 92% threshold, but having the tools to monitor them made all the difference. If I can recommend anything to the many of you who have yet to have this virus hit your house, it is to say that knowledge is power, and science is to be heeded and trusted. Science is real.
And go get yourself a pulse oximeter to be safe.
And then — proving the coronavirus could not conquer his sense of humor — Ari posted this:
The Staples High School Gridiron Club has a great idea.
They emailed all members, reminding them of the many local businesses that supported them over the years with donations to fundraisers, ads in program books and (much) more.
Now is the time to pay it back. “Please take every opportunity to support our sponsors by purchasing their goods and services whenever and wherever possible,” they say. They included a list of dozens of sponsors, just as a reminder.
Think how many Westport organizations have been helped by local merchants. If you know of someone who donated to your cause in the past — well, what are you waiting for?
ASF often contributes to local fundraisers. You can shop online to help them — and many other merchants — now.
Jennifer Hrbek reports that Yale New Haven Health desperately needs hand sewn masks.
Click here for a pocket pattern. Donations can be mailed to Yale New Haven Health (Attn.: PPE Donations), 600 Derby Ave., West Haven, CT 06516. They can also be dropped off there Monday through Thursday, 10 a.m. to 2 p.m.
You can donate sewn masks that do not follow the pocket pattern too. YNHHS will pass them on to homeless shelters.
Jennifer and her friend, Bedford Middle School teacher Caroline Davis, have been making masks regularly. “They’re desperately needed. And working on them with kids is a great way to teach life skills,” Jennifer says.
Unless you’re on the list of prohibited applicants.
You’re ineligible if you are “involved in real estate, multi-level marketing, adult entertainment, cannabis or firearms.” You also cannot be a state elected public official or state employee.
I understand the possible conflicts of interest around state officials and employees. But it seems to me the other groups listed have just as many small business worries as any restaurant, market, gift shop or toy store.
And realtors? I can’t imagine there were any open houses last weekend — or will be, over the next few weeks.
Amy Messing writes: “My husband and I plan to donate whatever we get from the government to help during the crisis. Other people may be moved to do the same.
“Do any local fundraising efforts distribute money to restaurant workers, small businesses and others in need? Also, are there any needs for volunteer help that you can identify?”
There are many. This morning, Westporter Stephanie Webster’s great CTBites.com featured a list of many restaurant funds. Click here to see (and note that locally it includes both Match Burger Lobster and Artisan).
I told Amy that I’d crowd-source others. Please click “Comments” below, and let us all know your favorite fundraisers and volunteer opportunities.
One positive side effect of the coronavirus: crime is way down.
I’m on the email list for regular updates from the Westport Police. Usually, the list of arrests for things like distracted driving and speeding is 6 or 8 pages long.
This morning there was just 1 (for “failure to obey control signal.”)
Often too there are 4 to 6 “custodial arrests” (aka lockups), for crimes like domestic violence, larceny and sexual assault.
For the last week, there have been none.
Nice to know that even criminals are self-isolating.
This weekend Elise, Penelope and Daphne Eisenberger painted hearts and positive messages on rocks they, their dad Nico and mother Robin Bates collected at Burying Hill Beach.
Yesterday they put them (in places no one would need to touch) by the entrances to Westport EMS, the police station, Greens Farms fire station and post office, their pediatrician’s office and a few other spots. They saw similar signs around town.
“It won’t stop anyone from getting sick, or make anyone better who is,” Nico says. “But we hope it’s helpful in some small way to those who work hard to keep us all safe.”
Coincidentally, just a few minutes before I published this piece, I got an email from EMS deputy director Marc Hartog. He writes about those stones:
“We don’t know who placed them there or when, but everyone here is incredibly moved that someone, or some group, thought about us and wanted to show their support.
“This is another example of everyday people doing whatever they can during this crisis, even just to boost the morale of our personnel on the front lines. We wish we could thank them, let them know that this gesture is so appreciated. Maybe if you post this, even though we can’t do it in person, they will know.”
Done. And PS: Now you know!
Elise, Penelopoe and Daphne Eisenberger.
Lauren Braun Costello is making lemonade — more accurately perhaps, lemon tarts or meringue pie — during this time of lemons.
Every day during the pandemic, she’s on Instagram Live with tips and tricks to stretch pantries, and help us feed our families.
Lauren is a classically trained chef, with an impressive CV. Check out itslaurenofcourse.com on Instagram.
Yesterday’s rain did not stop Doris Ghitelman.
The Westporter had to go shopping. So she called 4 high-risk neighbors and friends, and asked what they needed.
“It makes me happy to the core to help,” she says. “There’s always a silver lining 😊🧡”
PS: Nice gloves!
Across the world, John Karrel reports, people are putting teddy bears in all kinds of places: windows. Front porches. Roofs.
The idea is for parents to walk around with their kids, counting as many as they find. It’s a scavenger hunt anyone can help with.
John’s already spotted a couple of teddy bears in Greens Farms. Time to add yours! (And if you don’t have one, plenty of toy stores in Westport can help.)
Every week for decades, the Y’s Men meet to hear intriguing speakers.
COVID-19 has halted that tradition. But the Y’s Men are resourceful and resilient.
They’ve developed a podcast series — and they’re sharing them with the world.
Recent guests included internist Dr. Robert Altbaum and epidemiologist Dr. Pietro Marghello, plus that guy who writes the “06880” blog.
Today John Brandt interviews the CEO of a major wholesale distributor to national supermarkets. He’ll talk about the supply chain.
A former Westporter — now a college professor — is asking her students to interview (by phone or video) someone over the age of 70, with pre-selected questions.
Westporters and non-Westporters who are chatty and game should send names, brief bios and contact info to kochel491@gmail.com by 4 p.m. Wednesday.
“At a time when people are lonely and the lessons I’d originally planned seem increasingly irrelevant, I hope this project will be meaningful to both interviewers and interviewees,” she says.
And finally, here’s a gift from Berklee College of Music. It’s been home to a number of Westporters. They’ve chosen well.
Posted onMarch 30, 2020|Comments Off on Senior Center Offers Online Classes
When the Senior Center closed earlier this month, the impact was felt by hundreds of Westporters.
But Senior Center staffers are as resourceful and resilient as the men and women who flocked there every day.
Over 30 programs are available — online, via Zoom — for the spring quarter. The list includes yoga, tai chi, qigong, essentrics, low and high impact exercise classes, French language, current events, religion and studio art.
Spring classes begin this Wednesday (April 1). Scroll down for the complete list of offerings. (It’s formatted poorly — but that’s the best I could do. Sorry!)
All that’s needed to take an online class is a computer, email address and access to the internet. To register, seniors (age 60 and over) should call 203-341-5099 weekdays, between 8:30 a.m. and 4:30 p.m. (That’s the number for questions too.)
The Senior Center is closed. But classes are offered online.
A few writing classes have already begun online. Participants were thrilled to see their classmates — and begin writing again.
In addition, the Senior Center created a YouTube channel, with links to free videos in a variety of subjects.
They’ll post a weekly documentary film on the channel, along with some of their free classes.
The most popular — the aerobic chair class — is on it too.
Click here for the link YouTube channel. After opening the page, you can subscribe to the YouTube channel by clicking the red button on the upper right.
Senior Center director Sue Pfister adds this message:
My staff and I are doing our best to keep seniors mentally and spiritually stimulated, physically challenged and engaged during these unprecedented times.
I’m so impressed with everyone’s willingness to jump on board virtually, and make the best out of this otherwise frightening time. I know if we continue to be creative, flexible and open-minded we will get through this and come out wiser, stronger, more compassionate and more appreciative of our community.
Stay home, stay safe. I miss you all terribly.
Bringing the Outdoors In Thurs. 1:00 pm.
Chris Goldbach
4/2-6/25
$48
Still Life Thurs. 4:00 pm.
Chris Goldbach
4/2-6/25
$48
Drawing Flowers Fri. 10:00 am.
Dick Rauh
5/22-6/26
$24
Blending Pastels Fri. 10:00 am.
Lisa Arnold
4/3-5/15
$28
Advanced Drawing & Watercolor Tues. 10:00 am.
Tom Scippa
4/7-6/30
$52
Current Events Fri. 12:45 pm.
Lila Wells
4/3-5/22
free
Book Talk: Galileo Goes to Jail and Other Myths about Science and Religion Mon 10:30 am. Part 1
Linda Bruce
4/6-5/11
$24
Book Talk: Galileo Goes to Jail and Other Myths about Science and Religion Mon 10:30 am. Part 2
Linda Bruce
5/18-6/15
$24
Writers Workshop Tues 9:30 FULL
Jan Bassin
4/7-6/30
$96
Writers Workshop Tues 1:30 FULL
Jan Bassin
4/7-6/30
$96
Writers Workshop Wed. 10:30 am. FULL
Jan Bassin
4/1-6/24
$96
Writers Workshop Thurs 9:30 am. FULL
Jan Bassin
4/2-6/25
$96
Writers Workshop Thurs 1:30 pm.
Jan Bassin
4/2-6/25
$96
Learn to Play the Ukulele Tues. 1:00 pm.
Uncle Zac
4/7-6/30
$52
Intermediate French Wed. 1:00 pm.
Nell Mednick
4/1-6/24
$52
Conversational French Wed. 10:30 am.
Nell Mednick
4/1-6/24
$52
Essentrics Mon. 11:00 am.
Dyan DeCastro
4/6-6/29
$48
Zumba Gold Wed. 10:30 am.
Karen Liss
4/1-6/24
$52
Tai Chi Beginner’s Wed. 10:00 am.
Mari Lewis
4/1-6/24
$52
Tai Chi Reinforcement Mon. 10:45 am.
Mari Lewis
4/6-6/29
$48
Guided Qigong Mon. 2:10 pm
Deby Goldenberg
4/6-6/29
$48
Cardio Strength Fri. 9:30 am.
Shelley Moll
4/3-6/26
$52
Weights in Motion Mon. 9:30 am.
Shelley Moll
4/6-6/29
$48
Dance & Stretch Tues. 1:00 PM.
Sandy Adamcyzk
4/7-6/30
$48
Dance & Stretch Wed. 1:00 PM.
Sandy Adamcyzk
4/1-6/24
$48
Strength Training Mon. 1:00 pm
Sandy Adamcyzk
4/6-6/22
$36
Strength Training Fri. 10:00 am
Sandy Adamcyzk
4/3-6/26
$44
Yoga Total Health Mon. 8:45 am.
Denise O’Hearn
4/6-6/29
$48
Yoga Total Health Wed. 8:45 am.
Denise O’Hearn
4/1-6/24
$52
Yoga Total Health Fri. 8:45 am.
Denise O’Hearn
4/3-6/26
$52
Yoga/Core Strength Sat. 10:00 am.
Maria Vailakis-Wippick
4/4-6/27
$52
Yoga Gentle Sat 11:15 am
Maria Vailakis-Wippick
4/4-6/27
$52
Yoga Beginning Thurs. 3:00 pm.
Maria Vailakis-Wippick
4/2-6/25
$52
Yoga Wellbeing Tues 7:45 am.
Paula Schooler
4/7-6/30
$52
Yoga for Wellness Sat 8:45 am.
Paula Schooler
4/4-6/27
$52
Yoga for Brain Longevity Thurs. Noon
Paula Schooler
4/2-6/25
$52
Therapeutic Yoga Thurs. 7:45 am.
Paula Schooler
4/2-6/25
$52
Comments Off on Senior Center Offers Online Classes
Our Westport neighbor is an Emmy- and Webby-winning tech writer (Yahoo, New York Times, Scientific American) and TV correspondent (“CBS Sunday Morning,” PBS “Nova Science Now”).
Those are big companies. David is the first to admit that, as creative and inspired as is, he’s got tons of production firepower behind him.
Until this month, that is. COVID-19 has made mincemeat of modern media. Rachel Maddow talk to US senators via Skype. Anderson Cooper broadcasts from home.
As for David — well, let him tell his tale.
Yesterday, “CBS Sunday Morning” aired my cover story: How to work and live at home without losing your mind.
Here’s the problem: CBS News is locked down. Nobody can get into New York City headquarters. No camera crews are available, and no travel is permitted for making stories.
So I proposed something radical: I’d write, shoot, perform and edit this entire piece at home in Westport.
David Pogue at work in Westport, long before the coronavirus.
Dan asked if I’d reveal a bit more about how the whole thing came together, for “06880.” Happy to comply!
A big chunk of my story was an introduction to Zoom, the video-chatting program that’s become a hero of the coronavirus crisis. It’s free and easy to use; the video’s very stable; it can accommodate up to 100 people on screen at once —and you can record the video meeting with a single click.
To demonstrate the possibilities, my producer arranged a historic first: All of “CBS Sunday Morning’s” correspondents on the screen simultaneously in a Zoom video. Even Jane Pauley, our host!
There’s David: top row, 2nd from left.
It was supposed to be a 5-minute deal. But it was so much fun, the call went on for over an hour. Even though we’re on the show week after week, most of us rarely meet in person.
(I’ll spare you the story of how the resulting huge video file somehow got corrupted and wasn’t openable … and how, panicking, I hunted down a Zoom PR person at midnight, who wrangled a company engineer into rescuing the file just in time for the broadcast.)
In my script I cited a new rule for the videochat era: Informal is the new normal. You’ll see kids, pets and untidy backgrounds in your video calls — and that’s all allowed now.
Imagine my delight and amusement then, when I interviewed neuropsychologist Sanam Hazeez — and in the middle, her twin 5-year-old boys burst into her office, crying. One had driven a truck over the other’s foot. (To be clear, it was a toy truck.) It was completely unplanned — but could not have made my point any better.
Well, except when Wilbur the Wonder Cat started pacing back and forth in front of my laptop camera during the interview.
Sheltering in place doesn’t mean you’re not allowed out of the house. My 3 kids are all home, of course. I corralled one of them into taking a walk with me beside the Bedford Middle School field, and another to pilot a Mavic Mini drone to film the scene. It came out great!
As it turns out, it’s even safe to meet friends face to face, as long as you maintain a decent distance. In hopes of finding examples to film, I posted a note on NextDoor.com. It’s kind of like a Facebook for neighborhoods, like Eastern Westport or whatever. (If you haven’t joined, you should. It’s free.)
Usually, NextDoor is full of lost-dog notices and “Can you recommend a plumber?” posts. But during the crisis it offers great social-distancing ideas, invitations to virtual gatherings, even a Help Map where you can see who needs errands or groceries, and you can volunteer.
My query led me first to a group of young women, all sent home from college, who gather in the parking lot of Weston Middle School, where they had been together years ago. They park their cars in a circle, sit on their trunks, 15 feet apart, and just hang out. It’s glorious. I filmed it from overhead, with my drone.
I also heard from Westport Library fundraiser Barbara Durham, who lives in an apartment building in Bridgeport. She told me that some evenings she gathers with her neighbors across the elevator lobby, each pulling a chair into her apartment doorway, for “Cocktails in the Foyer.” I drove over to film one of these wonderful social-distance parties.
I love how the story came out. I’m grateful to everyone who helped, who allowed me to film them, and who believed in the idea. (That includes my bosses at “CBS Sunday Morning,” who took a leap of faith in trusting me to deliver a story they wouldn’t see until it was finished.)
Once we’re allowed to be close to each other again, I’ll thank you all in person —with a tender, heartfelt elbow bump.
But enough about David’s back story. Click below for his piece — and Westport and Weston’s contribution to surviving in our new work-at-home world.
What began as a little idea — hey, let’s make a video to connect Westporters! — has turned into something big and bold.
And very, very cool.
In just one week, 5 passionate Westporters
Honed their concept
Put out the word
Got submissions, and
Created a video that everyone should watch right now. Or at least, within the next few minutes.
The first video — released this morning — shows a wide array of Westporters. Through photos and videos, they provide messages of hope; offers their services as therapists, piano teachers, lawyers, Pilates instructors and Zoom party planners; give thanks to heroes, and talk about pets. There’s even a much-needed dose of humor.
This is the first of several “WestportConnected” videos. I’m sure it will spread like, um, a virus, and many more folks will join in.
Thank you Marcy Sansolo, Darcy Hicks, Lisa Newman, Jaime Bairaktaris and Melissa Kane.
Now click below. Connect. And smile!
Have a message of good energy, love or support? Want to advertise your business’s creative deal? Send along a submission for next week’s video: westportconnected@gmail.com.
A project manager at GE Capital and longtime Norwalker, he did it all: handing out flags at the Memorial Day parade, volunteering at the Oyster Festival, supporting children’s organizations.
He was a golfer and tennis player; a kind, generous and spirited man; a devoted grandfather who never missed a dance recital, sports game or any other event.
Joseph died last week, after battling cancer and pulmonary fibrosis. As a Korean War veteran, he was entitled to a full military funeral. A bugler should have played “Taps,” and presented an American flag to his family.
But Joseph died in the middle of a pandemic. Instead of being mourned by hundreds of family members, friends and fans, there was no celebration of life.
Following CDC guidelines, his burial at Willowbrook Cemetery was limited to 8 people. Pallbearers wore N95 masks.
Mourners and cemetery officials at Joseph Ariale’s burial on Friday.
The coronavirus has changed the way everyone lives. Now it’s affecting what happens even after we die.
Joseph’s final goodbye on Friday was not the only one at the beautiful cemetery on North Main Street, opposite Cross Highway.
A few hours earlier, another tiny crowd said goodbye to Connie Wilds. She earned 2 master’s degrees. She served Western Connecticut State University for over 30 years, as a professor of black studies and dean of student affairs. She sang in her church choir, and was a founder of the Stamford Afro-Democratic Committee.
Her entombment was witnessed by only 5 people — including funeral staff. That left only her son William, and his wife Daisy, to bid their final farewell.
“This is surreal,” William said. “We can’t give my mother a proper sendoff.”
From left: William Wilds; Daisy Wilds and funeral director Karen Graves-Medley of Stamford, at Connie Wilds’ entombment.
Even more sorrowfully, the few mourners must stay 6 feet apart. They can’t hug, or offer a literal shoulder to cry on.
“This is so difficult,” says Danny Amoruccio, manager/sexton of Willowbrook Cemetery Association. “They’re being stopped from doing what comes naturally to all of us: grieving together.”
Relatives and friends understand, he says. But at a time of intense pain, it’s one more burden to bear.
Daily operations at the cemetery have been whittled down to just sales of property, and scheduling of burials and entombments.
One section of the vast cemetery.
All communication is initiated by phone. There is minimal contact with the family.
The many other usual queries — where is someone buried? can I buy a monument? — are deferred to May, or done impersonally by phone or email.
Many families call just to verify their property. “They want the comfort of knowing that their deed and final plans are in place,” the manager says.
But Amoruccio still has work to do. In fact, recently — during what is normally a very quiet quarter — sales of graves spiked significantly, to 40 per month.
Families are securing property for their elderly parents — or themselves. They tell him directly: “With the coronavirus, we have to be prepared. We don’t want to run around at the last minute, taking care of final arrangements.”
When Amoruccio meets a family to sell property, he now speaks to them — no more than 2 people — outside their car. They follow him to view it, from the comfort of their vehicle.
If they see a property they’d like to purchase, he heads to his office to write up a contract. The family never goes inside. That once-comforting moment is gone too.
The newest section at Willowbrook Cemetery.
This month, Willowbrook completed an extension of its property. Earlier they bought a house on Richmondville Avenue, and razed it. They can now accommodate 500 additional burials, or 100 cremations.
So far, the cemetery has served one family whose loved one succumbed to COVID-19. They’ve received one additional call about a deceased person with the disease.
“We don’t treat them any differently,” Amoruccio notes.
He feels very badly for what mourners go through during this pandemic. “You see the frustration in their faces when it comes to the restriction of mourners” — once 10, now down to 5.
“But they seem to understand it’s for their own good. I hear in Italy, 2 family members are allowed at the burial. Or none — just the funeral director and cemetery staff.”
He is grateful that Willowbrook’s gates are open 24/7. Mourners can visit loved ones’ graves any time. Those who are barred from the burial have, at least, that chance to grieve.
And though dogs are not allowed on the property, Amoruccio sees a dramatic increase in walkers. “Visitors are always welcome to enjoy the peace and solitude here at Willowbrook,” he says.
The cemetery’s “daffodil mile” — the gorgeous rows of flowers fronting North Main Street — will bloom soon. The dozens of flowering trees — which always herald springtime in that part of town — will be even more beautiful and welcome this year.
Willowbrook Cemetery — established in 1847, and partly designed by Frederick Law Olmsted — is a non-profit community resource, Amoruccio notes.
“No one wants to think about an increase in deaths in our area,” he says. “But for me personally, I feel valuable right now. More than ever, we can be available for families at the worst of times.”
Even if death in the age of coronavirus robs those families of one of humanity’s most basic needs: saying a final goodbye.
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We seldom think of the work behind the scenes: shopping, prepping, cooking, transporting.
One other thing that we learned through this process was the importance of acquiring a pulse oximeter, a tiny little finger meter used to measure 02 circulation. With consistent use it kept us on top of this horrible virus as best we could, highlighting my luck in maintaining sufficient lung function and providing the light and sanity that kept us focused on convalescing and not taxing precious healthcare resources.
