Namhee Stokvis is the mother of 2 children. She moved to Westport 2 years ago from New Jersey, in large part because of the school’s special education program. She writes:
My son is 11 years old, and requires round-the-clock support. He is greatly impacted by the adults who guide him.
Since he entered public education at age 3, his communication, socialization and learning skills declined significantly. At age 5, within just 2 months he came home with 2 ripped jackets, a torn backpack, and tears in his eyes.
We raised concerns, offered strategies, and asked for collaboration. Instead, we were dismissed or minimized. The dominant tone was, “You are a hot parent” (their actual language), “and we are the experts who know better.”
Namhee Stokvis
In 2021, without our agreement, the district moved our son to a different classroom and changed his program. When we discovered this, the response was simply “exercise your rights,” a phrase that made clear nothing would change unless we pursued legal action.
We were frightened and confused. We had worked collaboratively through COVID, and believed partnership was possible. But from that moment on, what we encountered was nonchalance, ignorance and deception.
We met other parents experiencing similar problems, but most were too afraid to confront the district directly. They feared retribution. They kept their struggles private. We felt completely alone. Every day became painful and unbearable.
We began searching for a better place — somewhere our son could be safe and supported. After years of comparing districts, we chose Westport. We sold our home, and left everything we had built.
When we arrived in the summer of 2024, the district contacted us within days. We took that as a good sign.
And when we met our son’s new child study team, we felt something we had not felt in years: relief. Every teacher, therapist, paraprofessional and administrator treated our son with care and professionalism.
For the first time in a long time, my husband and I could focus on our work without worrying whether our son was safe or respected. He adjusted quickly, something that surprised us given his history. Our gratitude for Westport grew with each passing month.
But as we approached the one year mark, my worries returned.
Once my son’s adjustment and well-being were established, I began advocating for his education. I noticed that most decisions were already made before I entered the room. My role was often to be informed, not to make decisions.
When I requested an expert observation, it was denied. When I asked to observe my son myself, I was allowed 30 minutes in an isolated room — nowhere near the environment where he learns, plays and struggles.
I found myself worrying: If I advocate more strongly, will we still be treated collaboratively? If I raise concerns about the academic program, will I be ignored or misled? Will the same patterns that traumatized us in New Jersey repeat themselves here?
I am too afraid to test that boundary.
This year, during a community discussion at the Westport Library, I met parents who described the exact problems I experienced in New Jersey: ignorance, defensiveness, and dismissive narratives about families who speak up.
Narratives like “those parents are crazy,” “we are perfectly professional,” and “sue us if you don’t like it.”
It feels like the nightmare is returning. Sleepless nights, financial strain, and the emotional toll of simply trying to do right by my child.
I ran from New Jersey, believing Westport would be a safe place. Are we safe here?
Screenshot from Westport Public Schools’ special education page.
When a district denies and minimizes issues to avoid accountability, we lose our space to have honest conversations. And when parents are pushed toward legal battles, we are at an inherent disadvantage.
No parent has more financial power than a school district (unless you are Elon Musk or Jeff Bezos). And even when parents “win,” children still lose. The critical time for intervention passes. Opportunities to learn and grow disappear while we fight.
So, what are we doing?
A story last month on “06880” (“Special Ed: Solicit Feedback; Prioritize Student Progress Over Legal Proceedings“) shows that Westport’s legal expenditures in special education far exceed those of surrounding towns.
That alarms us. It suggests that problems are being handled through conflict rather than collaboration, consuming time and resources that should be utilized for our children.
Some parents are scared. Others are already suffering, just as I once was.
We chose Westport because we believed it is a better place for our family. And in so many ways, it truly is. The dedication of teachers and professionals here is extraordinary. I bow to their daily devotion. The richness of this town, its food, art, music and people, has made us feel welcomed and grateful.
But we can do better in how we handle conflicts and communications in special education.
When we improve the way we resolve disagreements, everyone benefits.
Students gain stronger outcomes. Teachers feel supported and confident. The district’s reputation grows. And children who rely on us the most receive the timely interventions and education they desperately need.
This is not about blaming. It is about responsibility and courage. It is about refusing to let fear, defensiveness, or bureaucracy stand in the way of our children’s future.
Let’s do better together.
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Thank you for sharing your family’s story. We will continue to advocate for positive change. I call on all members of the Town government, former and current Board of Education members who are now governing. You have a moral obligation toward these most vulnerable children and their families to change the town government’s strategy on special education. You can no longer feign ignorance or hide behind separation of powers. Your conscience should be guiding the path forward.
I am a Special Education teacher and advocate with over 20 years of experience. I am seeing so much lack of education and knowledge about IEP’s, 504’s, mainstreaming, what teachers are or are not able to handle and incorporate into the classroom, lack of resources ect… I think there is a real problem with the way IDEA laws have changed how we handle difficult cases and extreme behaviors that affect not only the learning of the student with the disability but even the learning of other students. We have a LOT of work to do in educating the public about all of this. As a teacher, I was so exhausted and burnt out with trying my very best to care for all learners in the classroom, but ended up being controlled by one single parent whose demands were off the charts and unfair to all of the other kids in the classroom. I am here to speak truth and for people to learn ALL the facts about best practices in Special Education. Sometimes parents are the problem and sometimes the school is the problem. In most cases, the entire system itself and the laws that do not work are the problem.
Reminds me of the 1970s+ when legacy automakers determined that it was more cost effective to market and litigate quality than to implement it.
Odd that Westport’s special-ed litigation costs are so much higher than New Canaan’s. Do we simply have more per-capita students in need, or more per-family attorney parents?
If it’s however a matter of antagonistic vs. cooperative administration attitude, that’s a problem for the electoral process to resolve.
Bravo to Namhee for her immense courage in sharing her family’s story and shining a light on a reality that so many of us are quietly navigating.
Namhee’s words are a heartbreaking reminder of what is at stake. When parents are forced to choose between compliance and conflict, our children are the ones who lose precious, irreplaceable time. The extraordinary dedication of Westport’s frontline teachers, paras and therapists is undeniable—we see it and we are grateful for it every day. But as this op-ed highlights, the systemic defensiveness and staggering legal expenditures show a culture that urgently needs a course correction.
The special education program review we are advocating for is not extraordinary or unfathomable—it is simple common sense. In every professional industry, university, and business, recurring independent reviews are standard practice. No entity should ever grade its own work, evaluate its own performance, or hand-pick its own judges.
As the Board of Education moves forward, they must fully oversee the scope and execution of this review to ensure it is just, fair, honest, and completely independent. Whether this means establishing an independent steering committee or holding open BOE meetings with parent and community input, if the district administrators really want to be collaborative as they so claim, it would behoove them to stand clear and let this review give us a true and accurate picture of the current SpEd program.
If district administration has a hand in shaping the process or the results, it will taint the entire outcome, and that would be a direct waste of taxpayer dollars and a waste of everyone’s time.
Our community of parents expects a truly independent review because we only want what our children deserve by law. Let’s do better together, Westport.
As both a former K-12 teacher and a parent navigating the Westport special education system, I believe there is an important distinction that often gets lost in these conversations.
I don’t believe the issue is that parents are demanding too much. The issue is whether our school district and WPS administrators are following the law, communicating honestly, and engaging in meaningful collaboration with families.
In my own experience, I have spent months asking straightforward questions about evaluations, services, data, and decision-making. Too often, my questions went unanswered, were only partially answered, or were answered with information that later proved inaccurate. On multiple occasions, I found that meaningful responses only appeared after I raised concerns about formal state complaints or procedural safeguards. This path to get answers to basic questions is, in my opinion, is not okay.
I have tremendous respect for classroom teachers. I was one. I know how hard they work and how difficult their jobs have become. But many of the concerns being raised by families are not about teachers. They are about administrative decisions, transparency, accountability, and compliance with IDEA and Child Find obligations.
When hundreds of families express concern about a system, it is worth asking why. Dismissing those concerns as the product of a few difficult parents misses the larger issue. Families are not asking for perfection. They are asking for honesty, transparency, and a process they can trust.
That is why so many of us support an independent and transparent review of Westport Public Schools special education services.
Think Westport’s special education system is thriving? Think again. Decades of news articles and the state’s latest data paint a very different picture.
The reality according to the state’s latest numbers:
Growing Gaps: Westport is failing to narrow the test-score gap between general and special education students in 4th, 8th, and 11th-grade math and reading.
Legal Delays: The district missed federal and state legal deadlines for completing student evaluations on time and starting preschool services by age three.
Hidden Struggles: The state doesn’t even track how many local parents are locked out of getting their kids evaluated at all.
Experts note that the state sets remarkably low standards, letting districts off the hook while parents are left holding the bag. Change is overdue. On May 20, 100 families confronted the Board of Education, and nearly 600 people have signed a petition demanding an independent, unbiased review—not a sanitized report managed by the school district. Our kids don’t need lowered expectations; they need real support so they can excel. We need action today.
References:
Westport’s special education report card (2023-2024 Annual Performance Report (APR) (there is a 2 year lag in reporting)):
https://edsight.ct.gov/ADA-Archive/specEdAPR/2023-2024/Westport.pdf
https://ctmirror.org/2026/01/14/report-problems-persist-in-ct-special-ed-system-despite-federal-compliance/
Petition for an unbiased review of the special education system at change.org: https://c.org/tZLMTcL6pd
Are parents fighting for specialized reading instruction and math for learning disabled students. This would not occur in a mainstream setting though. This would require a pull-out model. Parents would need to understand that mainstream settings are not always best practice for all students when they are receiving the specialized instruction they need.
What Namhee is describing is a very common theme that is being expressed by many of our community members in Westport, who are very knowledgeable on special education law, because they are forced to be when advocating for a child in Westport.
I personally have spoken with DOZENS of educational advocates and attorneys working in CT not only in my own search to retain counsel last year but while attending the annual COPAA (Council of Parent Attorneys and Advocates) convention this year. Most individuals I have spoken to share that Westport has a real problem that appears to stem from anti-parent/anti-student tactics by district administration.
Our family had to retain counsel to fight for an appropriate reading program for our 13-year-old who cannot read and did not have a reading program to support literacy.
Like us, parents I have spoken to are only asking for what is required under Federal Law: (IDEA) – Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA).
These are three common requests:
Free and Appropriate Public Education (FAPE) – means that a student should have an individualized program that allows for meaningful, appropriately ambitious progress in light of their unique circumstances. Endrew F. 2017
Child Find – Child Find is a legal mandate under (IDEA) that requires public school districts to actively identify, locate, and evaluate all children from birth through age 21 who may have a disability and might need special education or early intervention services. These referrals can be made by parents, teachers, physicians, etc.
Many report that Westport district administrators are denying these crucial evaluations for disabilities and therefore are denying necessary specialized instruction for a student to succeed. The Westport Public School percentage of students identified as having a disability backs up this claim. Westport consistently is well below the CT State and Tri-State average of students with a disability as cited by the CT Department of Education. This equates to potentially hundreds of students not being identified and properly supported with an independent education plan (IEP) that have a disability.
Observations – Even though BOE policy states that parents and parent experts are permitted to observe and evaluate students, district administration denies this access. Westport is one of the only districts (if not the only) in CT to not allow these important observations, even though it is at no cost to the district. This shuts parents out from meaningful participation on the Planning and Placement Team as well as perhaps meaningful solutions to help a student succeed.
Does Westport not have reading recovery programs in place by learning specialists like Orton-Gillingham or Wilson? This would be done in a small group setting with students who have reading disabilities, not the entire class in the mainstream setting.
Much of what was described deeply resonated with me. When we first entered special education, it was overwhelming to come to terms with the fact that my child had a learning disability. At the beginning, I felt supported and heard by the team, and that gave me a great deal of hope. Unfortunately, that sense of partnership did not last.
My child’s needs went unmet for many years. By the time we reached middle school, we were in full crisis mode. My concerns were repeatedly ignored, and during that time, my child suffered in silence. That experience fundamentally changes how a parent shows up in the process. Advocacy is not about being unreasonable it often comes from a place of urgency when a child is not progressing, or worse, is struggling emotionally as a result of unmet needs.
I continue to struggle with how progress is being defined. My child is currently reading at least two grade levels below expectation, yet I am told this is “in line” with IEP goals and objectives and considered acceptable as my child prepares to transition to high school. As a parent, that is incredibly difficult to reconcile. It raises important questions about whether goals are truly appropriate and whether we are setting our children up for meaningful success or failure.
For many parents, advocacy is not about making unreasonable demands or controlling the classroom. It is a response to unmet needs, lack of communication, or decisions being made without meaningful parent input something described in the article where parents feel they are being informed rather than included in decision-making. When a child is struggling, regressing, or expressing distress about school, parents are often left with no choice but to speak up.
From a parent’s perspective, the fear is very real:
•Fear that raising concerns will impact how their child is treated
•Fear that collaboration will disappear if they advocate too strongly
•Fear that critical time for intervention will be lost while disagreements unfold
Every child with disabilities has the legal right to an appropriate education and when that isn’t happening, parents are often the only ones positioned to push for change.
What we are asking for is a partnership:
•Transparent communication
•Genuine inclusion in decision-making
•A willingness to consider parent input as expertise, not opposition
•A shared focus on student outcomes, not procedural defense
There are incredible educators who many of us are deeply grateful for, but strong individual educators cannot compensate for systemic breakdowns.
At the end of the day, we want our children to feel safe, supported, and able to learn without families or educators feeling unheard, overwhelmed, or adversarial.
Responding to you as a Special Education teacher: The goals in your child’s IEP are right on target! We meet the child with learning differences where they are AT to ensure success in the classroom! We do not have the same goals as all of the other kids in the class who do not have the same disability. We meet the kids where they are at and create goals that are REALISTIC. Once they meet those goals then we create more goals.
What I am seeing are parents who are not child centered but rather obsessed with other kids and their performance in a very competitive way. This is problematic for the child with a disability or learning difference.
Which is more important: success for YOUR child in school or comparing your child to other students?
I’ve been reading all of your very inaccurate and inappropriate replies to parent comments and concerns here. I’ve done my best to ignore them until now. DO YOU KNOW THIS CHILD? ARE YOU ON HIS CARE TEAM? If your answer to these questions are NO, then you need not reply to this mom’s comment because you have zero firsthand knowledge of their situation. If your answer to either one of my questions is YES, then you are legally bound by HIPAA and privacy laws to keep quiet about your knowledge of this specific child’s case. Either way, please keep your upper and lower lips touching, don’t let sound come out of them. Don’t feel the urge to type an answer to anyone here because you do not have any relevant input. If you don’t have anything constructive to add, I can only assume that your comments here are only meant to insult, degrade, belittle and oppress, which is everything we are trying to overcome. If you’d like to continue this conversation with me, I’m happy to meet you in person to tell you why you are wrong.
I have no intention to insult anyone. I am simply giving my two cents as a seasoned Special Education teacher of 20 years who happens to also be fed up with the system and how it is not working in a more general senses.
Last comment I promise Dan!
I would be so interested to see how parents would write IEP goals and benchmarks! I truly wonder if they really understand their child’s learning differences or disability and what is best practice for their child to succeed. I wonder if their goals would be child-centered or standardized test competitive driven.
Hello, Stephanie. I am curious to know your educational background and work experience. Please let me know if you have a LinkedIn profile or a website. This information would be very useful for parents who are considering your services as a child advocate.
I have been teaching Special Education for 20 years. I have taught in both public and private schools in Chicago, NY, and CT. I have a Masters Degree in Special Education. Would you like more info? You can reach me at : 917-748-8058 or email me at : frankelclan4@gmail.com. I do not yet have a website but am working on it! My consulting business will be up and running this summer! I am working on my LinkedIN which is not used a lot by teachers.
Tracey V said, “My child’s needs went unmet for many years”. That to me is devastating: although the method to implement appropriate solutions has been sadly inert year after year, the child is not inert, the child has been growing year after year.
As a parent of a child who has serious developmental disabilities, it is sad to see that 20 years after my daughter left the Westport School System that NOTHING HAS CHANGED!!!. In fact after reading these posts it may have gotten worse. I have a few suggestions:
-Document, document, document – pictures, writing samples, comments made to you by teachers, kids, or other parents, keep a running diary
-Hire the best attorney you can afford – I did not have attorney’s at every meeting, but I had them coach me so I knew what to say and do
-Record every meeting – especially IEP meetings. Don’t feel bad playing back the administrations comments when they deny they agreed to something.
-Ask for what you want – the school system will never offer you anything – but they can agree to what you ask for- including outplacement and a full summer program.
Know that most children improve as they get older. My daughter now lives in a wonderful, loving, supportive community in the Berkshires of MA. She has friends, does volunteer work delivering meals on wheels, hikes on accessible trails goes to religious services, and hangs out with me on Saturday’s.
Keep up the good fight – You are your child’s only advocate
A COMPREHENSIVE independent consultant review of the special education department – its governance and oversight, NOT JUST CURRICULUM, but a full, independent review in which Mr Scarice and Mr Rizzo are recused from both the selection and the review process, must proceed for transparency and accountability of the department. The time is now and the Board of Ed, our elected body, must rise up to ensure that this review is independent, that it include Mr Rizzo’s input, but in NO way include his or the superintendent’s involvement in defining the SCOPE or PROCESS of the review. Mr. Rizzo admitted that even the surveying of parents of SPED students hasn’t been done in years, under his watch. IT’S TIME for a transparent review of the department’s administration, IEP goals setting and program development process, and the due process and settlement processes, that continue to hide the truth about the lack of transparency and oversight of this effectively unsupervised department and administration. IT’s TIME!