Susan O’Brien is a licensed clinical social worker. She has a master’s degree from Columbia University School of Social Work, and over 35 years’ experience supporting children, adolescents and adults across both private practice and public counseling settings. Her expertise extends to school consulting.
Susan leads discussion groups focused on child development and parenting, providing guidance and insight to families navigating the challenges of raising healthy, resilient children. She specializes in sleep, nutrition, anxiety and discipline strategies in young children.
With summer near, she looks at the way children will spend their time — and parents’ expectations for it. Susan writes:
Every June, I start hearing the same worries from parents. They feel like they need to line up camps, classes, sports and activities so their kids have a “good” summer.
I understand that. But in my work, I also see how much some children need a break — not just from school, but from always being on the go.
Susan O’Brien
Of course, camps and organized activities can be wonderful, and many families need them. But when every hour is planned, kids do not always get much time to just be kids.
A little boredom is not a bad thing. It is often when children get creative, figure things out on their own, or learn how to make their own fun.
In Westport, it can be easy to feel like summer has to be packed and productive. But a good summer does not have to be impressive. Sometimes it is a slow morning, a bike ride, time at Compo Beach, or a stop at the library. Those simple moments can do more for a child than we realize, especially when they also give families time to slow down together.
I have seen kids who are exhausted by the end of the school year move right into a summer that feels just as busy. I have also seen how much children respond when life gets a little quieter.
They open up more. They seem less tense. And parents often tell me that the best parts of summer end up being the small, unplanned ones.
That said, a slower summer is not realistic for everyone. Many parents are working, and doing the best they can.
This is just a reminder that children do not need every minute filled. Even a few quieter moments, dinner together, a walk after work, sitting outside at the end of the day, can go a long way.
What kid doesn’t like climbing on the lifeguard stand? (Photo by Ashley Carcara; editing by Melody Stanger)
For many children, what matters most is not the big outing or the perfectly planned day. It is feeling noticed. A real conversation in the car, sitting together at the beach, making dinner, or just putting your phone down for a few minutes can help a child feel connected and valued. Those small moments often stay with them longer than we think.
Years from now, kids usually will not remember every camp, class or activity. They are more likely to remember the feeling of summer at home — lazy mornings, popsicles after the beach, catching fireflies, or having the time to simply hang around with the people they love. That is often what makes a summer feel full in the first place.
A lot of parents want to give their children more unstructured time, but honestly do not always know how. Summer can feel like something that has to be managed, especially when there is pressure to keep kids busy, off screens, and “making the most” of every week.
For many families, unstructured time sounds good in theory but feels uncomfortable in practice, because no one really taught parents how to leave space without feeling like they are falling short.
Sometimes it helps to think of unstructured time as leaving breathing room in the day instead of doing nothing at all. Parents can protect a few open hours with no planned activity. Keep simple things available, like art supplies, books, balls, or sidewalk chalk, and resist jumping in too quickly when a child says, “I’m bored.”
Let kids find books — then settle down to read.
A little guidance is fine. But children often do better when adults set the stage, and then step back.
The goal is not to create a perfect free-range summer. It is to make enough room for imagination, rest, and ordinary family life to happen.
We all want to give children what they need. Sometimes that means opportunities and structure.
But sometimes it also means letting them be bored, letting them slow down, and giving them more time with the people who make them feel safe.
That may end up being one of the most important parts of summer.
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I agree! In the 50’s I laid in the clover in our front yard and stared at the clouds, rode my bike around town looking to play any sport that was in season and the only thing that was on my schedule were Cub Scout meetings. Summers lasted for what seemed forever!