No, “06880” is not turning into The American Poetry Review.
And no, neither I nor Paul Lebowitz claim to be Emily Dickinson, Robert Frost or Rudyard Kipling.
Or even Ogden Nash.
But on the heels of my Monday attempt at rhyme — hey, readers had a good time — the Planning & Zoning Commission chair sent his response.
Planning & Zoning Commission chair Paul Lebowitz.
He speaks not for the entire board
But read it; perhaps it strikes a chord:
It was just before New Year’s,
And all through the land,
Developers whispered,
“Let’s build something grand.”
“We’ll max out the density,
Go up 6 more floors,
Throw on a big cupola—
Heck, add some more doors!
“Let’s fill in the wetlands,
And dig a big pool
Add some stone walls,
Maybe a patio or two
“No permits, no site plans,
We won’t bother asking,
Why slow down the fun
With all that red-tape tasking?
“Setbacks are suggestions,
The code’s just a guide,
If we squint at the map
It all fits inside.
“Let it be the next buyer’s
Problem, not really ours—
It was like this already,
We just added them towers.”
Then off to the P&Z
With a straight-faced appeal,
Claiming hardship and fairness
And “neighborhood feel.”
And the neighbors all sighed,
As they muttered, “Oh dear…”
For it’s always the same,
This time every year.
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Brilliant!
And to all, a wish that each P&Z member reads this delight before every meeting.
Sometimes you have to laugh to keep from crying.
Are we “sustainable” yet?
Damn… this guy should be teaching Poetry at Yale University. Happy New Year to everyone.
More sad than funny. You go to neighboring towns and see beautiful, well-crafted, site-appropriate new homes. You come to Westport and it’s all the same ticky-tacky white boxes with black windows jammed onto clear-cut lots built to last about 5 years by SIR.
Sad but true
WOW! I feel ya Paul… it appears you expressed your daily routine with excellence! Here is how I heard it… don’t judge me on spelling or usage – intellectual ones. (Said with a smile)
The job is the same day in and day out,
They come barring gifts so P & Z won’t pout,
The hell with the rules, they don’t apply,
Give the approval to me not that next guy,
I’ll swindle and swirl to get my way,
And say I am a West-porter who is full of care,
Then cash in my check and return to my far away lair!
And what about those neighbors who spray chemicals that drift,
Into my yard with a sniff, sniff, sniff, sniff,
And say “oh it’s fine” and distract with the leaf blower
That goes ALL THE TIME,
Dare I complain or go over and knock,
To be greeted by a Nanny, who doesn’t even know this own block,
I save their dog from being run out to the road,
I knock once again,
This time to a toad!
All true. But I don’t think all the blame lies with McMansion devlopers and owners. Perhaps if P&Z was less liberal about allowing variances, etc. there would be less of all about which we complain. Furthermore, I believe that fines and punishments for building and then trying to get a permit should be strong enough that the cost of pre-empting the law makes doing so prohibitive (e.g., “You built the house too tall? Take it down and then ask for the variance or we will atke it down for you.”).
for 2026 all “06880” posts and opinions should be in prose
so we will finally be able to understand what’s going on.
I am delighted that Paul’s accurate poetry generated many supportive comments. One note, however, it is not the P&Z Commission that addresses and grants variances for “hardship”. It is the Zoning Board of Appeals. Jim Ezzes has been Chair of that body for a huge number of years.
I think our esteemed Chair forgot this critical stanza 🙂
And if all else fails, hire someone “new,”
A land-use consultant who claims, “I had no prior view.”
“My clients were blindsided—innocent dupes,
We’re only here now to atone for a brief moment of oops.”
*bareing*
You nailed it!!!