“06880” often highlights the remarkable achievements of Staples High School students. They accomplish spectacular things, in an awe-inspiring range of fields.
This story is not one of those.
This fall, 3 seniors applied early decision to the same elite, Ivy League-level college. (I’m not naming the school or the students. This story is less about them, than about the incident itself and the lessons learned from it.)
The 3 were classmates, not friends. But because college applications is perhaps the most-discussed topic of conversation for 12th graders, each knew about the other 2.
One boy emailed the college admissions office, suggesting a second boy was antisemitic — and included screen grabs of him holding a gun.
The first student’s email was sent from a fake account — created in the name of the third student, a girl. She knew nothing about it. But the first student’s goal was to deny early admission to both.
Alarmed by the image of the weapon, the university called their police department — and Westport’s. The WPD called the girl’s family, and came to the house to interview her.
Officers were “very respectful, polite and terrific,” the girl’s father says.
“They did not jump to any conclusions. They wanted information. They were terrific.”
The boy who had been targeted talked to police. The student who wrote the email refused their requests for an interview, the girl’s father says.
The girl — fearful that her dream school would not admit her — was upset and angry. Her parents were too.
Westport police were “very helpful” as they tried to clear her name, the girl’s father says. They went so far as to call the college.
After many days of worry, the girl was admitted. So was the boy who had also been targeted. The student who sent the email was not.
“Getting into college is so stressful for everyone, and Staples is so competitive,” the girl’s father says.
“It would be nice if students rooted for and supported each other. But we learned that student sabotage is not new. It’s happened before. So maybe kids shouldn’t tell anyone else where they’re applying.”
This story has spread throughout Fairfield County. The father has heard from a number of parents — and has heard similar stories.
“I just hope something positive comes out of this horrible situation,” he says.
“This is such a tough, toxic time for these kids. There has to be a way to make sure this never happens to anyone else.”
Interesting, and disturbing, perhaps, but sure not worth the implied hysteria. Considering the tens upon tens of thousands of college applicants, the tiny number of such hideous incidents is miniscule…and, like the complaints about bad, inconsiderate drivers, car parkers, and shoppers, is much ado about nothing; and chips away at the great pleasure, nay wonder, in knowing that such incidents do not happen more often.
I’m not sure Dan is trying to make any larger conclusions based on this story. I don’t see the implied hysteria. With your logic just because some things do not happen very often statistically, they are not worth mentioning. I agree we should be careful of selection bias, but sometimes these outliers are worth discussing.
Agreed, Matt.
But I do think the civility, thoughtfulness and “proper” public behavior of the large majority of western civilization is remarkable and woefully under remarked upon.
I think Dan (Woog) does a phenomenal job of sharing both the good and not so good of our community.
Hooray for the Westport PD
“When the going gets tough, the tough go shopping.”
Unreal. I hope the student who accused the other student of being anti- semitic and holding a gun not only did not get admitted to his dream school, but faces other harsh consequences for defamation.
I think the real message here is about the stress put on ALL the kids both in Westport and outside nowadays. We need to find a way to help these young people enjoy their childhoods and not constantly stress about achieving in school and sports, etc! They need to work hard, but also learn to enjoy the moments! Some put the stress on themselves, sometimes parents perceived expectations take a toll and a lot of peer pressure also wreaks havoc with many. This is a very sad incident, but I do believe there may be some like this, but not many. Sorry it happened to these kids. It’s a very stressful time for so many of our Staples students.
Great case for teaching Civics starting in primary school.
This begs the question; Nature vs. Nurture
Sigh – in a way, it sounds very much like the Tonya Harding/Nancy Kerrigan spectacle
This is heartbreaking-I’m glad it was resolved, but wonder if any action was taken against the student who sent the initial email?
Karma.
How sad to feel so desperate, and at such a young age, that one would that one would go so far as to attempt to ruin the reputation of a peer. It makes me curious about the home environment of the kid who felt like they could just get rid of the competition instead of relying on their own accomplishments. What kind of message is being sent by their parents and society – ‘winning’ at all costs. Perhaps the parents should take a good hard look at themselves and all of them should read Frank Bruni’s book ‘where you go is not who you’ll be.’ One’s life certainly doesn’t have to be determined by where one goes to college, that is just an entitlement mindset. Being a good person should really be the measurement of success. I hope there were appropriate consequences for this kid – and also that those consequences allow for a second chance through a new lens and didn’t ruin his life forever.
Yes, this. ^^. Well said, Jennifer.
Role models in and outside the home make a difference, one way or another. Pressure to achieve, to win the game at all costs, to get your way at all costs. It’s not healthy.
Toni, very insightful. Perhaps the family should look to become more rooted in the community, or if that’s not an option, they could relocate?
Tragic story.
Being the age that I am (70ish), this behavior is so foreign to me. Entrance to college was competitive and stressful for me 54 years ago, too, but I guess my generation was raised to better cope and handle these situations. It is wrong to say that “things are different now, times have changed”, they haven’t, WE’VE CHANGED. We attach so much importance and value on personal achievements that we’ve lost sight of the big picture. I never received a participation trophy if I lost a race or game and I survived, ego intact, and so did most of my generation. If I didn’t do my homework, I’d get a ZERO, not a C. Teachers used red ink to grade papers and we didn’t feel threatened by it. I didn’t get pressured by my parents to win every time, but to give it my best. Work hard, challenge yourself, you win some, you lose some, learn something, and move on to the next challenge.
I don’t blame the kids as much as I blame society for creating the environment they’ve had to grow up in.
Generally agree but “society” is such a generic, unaccountable term. Every parent, every teacher, every student is part of “society”. My kids graduated SHS. All experienced first-hand the stress & expectations there but to be fair, it appeared to be a very visible minority of the kids and their parents – especially the parents. Teachers & admin were great. Parents can add a great deal of expectation & stress on their kids. But any high school senior should know the difference between right & wrong, and what this kid allegedly did was unquestionably very wrong. No society to blame here. The person made a choice and I hope, consequences are applied so a lesson is learned.
BTW, this kid and this story getting broader publicity doesn’t help SHS’s image. May not be fair but life isn’t fair, and this story getting on the airwaves isn’t going to be helpful to SHS students in a college process.
Wait a minute… I am with you until you blame “society.” The kid is the one to blame. That his parents or his religious leader or his teachers or someone else failed him is clear… but he’s the one who did it. And he is the one who should be punished.
Well said Jonathan!
The 2 kids the 3rd set up like that are very fortunate the school and Westport police investigated and flushed out exactly what was going on and who was doing it, i.e., the domino effect ramifications for the other 2 if they hadn’t (they might not have known the origin of their problems he caused for years if ever). wow. that could have been a real long nightmare for those 2 kids. just, wow.