Summer might be the best reason of all to move to Westport. Between the beaches, Longshore, backyard pools, the Playhouse, Levitt, plenty of restaurants, and tons of activities for kids and families, this is an awesome time of year.
Which is why many Westporters are happy to leave town. They rent their homes for substantial sums. The cost to them of renting elsewhere — even a European vacation — is far less than what they get for handing the keys to a bunch of strangers for a couple of weeks (or months).
Well, strangers, if you’re going to live here, you should know a few things. This is how to be a real Westporter:
When you leave Compo Beach and turn right on Hillspoint, don’t drive 2 miles an hour like you’ve never seen water before. You may think it’s a lovely sight, but we’ve got places to go. Speed it up, buddy.
Conversely, it’s perfectly all right to drive erratically — fast, slow, then fast again — if you’re talking on a cell phone. Or, better yet, texting. Technically, both are illegal in Connecticut. But this is Westport, where magically no rules apply to you. Only to other people. Trust me — it’s true.
While walking or jogging, ignore all sidewalks. They’re there for decorative purposes only. However, if you’re riding a bike or running with a stroller filled with triplets, you must use the sidewalk. It’s the law.
Parking lot stripes are mere suggestions. Feel free to land your car wherever you wish. Sharp angles are fine! And if you’re in the narrow lane in front of Robek’s and Silver’s, lined on both sides with parallel parking slots, it’s your lucky day. It’s a Westport tradition to park worse there than any other place in town.
After shopping, feel free to leave your cart wherever you wish. You might want to find a slight incline, so the moment you drive off gravity causes your cart to roll slowly downhill. Too bad you’re not around to watch it comically rocket into a random car or child!
You know those signs prohibiting unattended saving of picnic tables at Compo? What a hoot! Go ahead — reserve to your heart’s content. You’re not a real Westporter until you smush 3 or 4 tables together, plant a tablecloth on it (don’t forget the vase!), and scatter some beach chairs around the perimeter.
Welcome to Westport. And don’t bother cleaning up before you leave. We’ll take care of all that when we get back!