The Library Drop Box Is Full! Call The Cops!

The Westport Library’s 2 drop boxes — including this one, still bearing the scars of a 2009 drunken driving attack

— bear these words:

To report problems with Library book drops after hours contact the Westport police non-emergency number: 203-341-6000 begin_of_the_skype_highlighting 203-341-6000 end_of_the_skype_highlighting.

That notice has long been one of Westport’s little mysteries to me.

The other day I asked director Maxine Bleiweis about it.

“It’s a national problem — not just Westport,” she says.  “You wouldn’t believe how crazy people get when the drop box is full.  They don’t know what to do, or who to call.”

Off the top of my head — just like that! — I thought of 2 ways to handle such a crisis.

  1. Call the library.
  2. Return the next day.

Later, I came up with a third response:

  • Turn in your library card.  You are obviously not bright enough to be trusted with books.

19 responses to “The Library Drop Box Is Full! Call The Cops!

  1. Patrons can also walk or drive to the upper level and return the books near the front entryway…..

  2. What do the police have to say about adding the library drop box to their patrols?

  3. Ann Marie Flynn

    Duh! Is that why they moved the river so close……..poor sea gulls. Hope they don’t get hit on any wild throws.

  4. 4. Add another box
    5. Replace with a BIGGER BOX

    • What? Don’t you think there would be years of hearings regarding placement of the replacement box, size of the new box compared with the old box, setback issues, injunctions from aggrieved residents, etc., etc.? This would be a huge and costly battle for sure.

      • Dan, U R correct.
        The library should start selling booze and having live R&R Bands play. Then they could be open ’till the wee hours of the morning for returns.

  5. The Dude Abides

    6. Deposit directly to the police on their new Hummer’s windshield;
    7. Purchase new books from the library and give to a friend.

  6. Princeton '82

    8. Buy a Kindle.

  7. It doesn’t happen here but have you ever seen the riot when a blue Post Office box is full and you can’t fit your letters in there? It is like the Soviets landed in Long Island, the stampede to complain.

  8. If it’s a DVD, just slide it under the door

  9. Siobhan Crise

    9. Renew the books online. It’s a doddle.

  10. thank you for so many laughs, you are so funny…

  11. doddle |ˈdädl|
    noun [in sing. ] Brit., informal
    a very easy task : this printer is a doddle to set up and use.
    ORIGIN 1930s: perhaps from dialect doddle [toddle,] of unknown origin.

  12. The Dude Abides

    10. Don’t renew the books online.

    • Linda Gramatky Smith

      Why? Dude, do you know something I don’t know? I renew books online all the time.

      • The Dude Abides

        I was making reference to the definition of “doddle”, so aptly supplied by my hero, Mr. Feeley. Whenever someone says something is “easy”, I find it not the case. At least for me. I was making a parody of redundant absolution. Obviously, off mark.