The Planning and Zoning Commission’s recent hissy fit — resolving to sue the RTM for exercising what is probably their legal right to overturn a decision — has spawned a new Westport trend.
Yesterday, “06880” learned of 3 other bizarre intra-town lawsuits.
- Emergency Medical Services is suing the Fire Department, for responding to a choking victim before the EMS arrived. Referring to the incident earlier this month, an EMT said, “We’re sick and tired of those firemen with their big red trucks thinking they’re like medical personnel. They should stick to putting out fires, and we’ll save people’s lives. Am I right?”
- The Highway Department is suing the Board of Education, after a teenage driver crashed into a stop sign while texting. It was Martin Luther King Day, causing a road crew to come out — at triple time — to repair the damage. “What the hell are they teaching at Staples these days?” a Highway Department spokesman asked. “Don’t they friggin’ know anything?”
- First Selectman Gordon Joseloff is suing Second Selectman Shelley Kassen for dereliction of duty, and gross incompetence. “I sent her to Starbucks for a vente skinny cinnamon mocha latte frappuccino smoothie tea, half soy, half skim, half decaf, half Half-and-Half, and she comes back with a Dunkin’ Donuts small black coffee,” the chief executive thundered. “WTF?”