Tag Archives: Dave Smith

Youth Sports And College Recruiting: A Father’s Insights

It’s late July. If you’re a youth sports parent, this may be one of those rare times: a weekend without your kid’s “elite” team playing a couple of games, or traveling to a “showcase” tournament.

Maybe your child’s batting, shooting or goalkeeping coach is on his own vacation.

But the clock is ticking. The fall season — for youth and high school sports — starts in a few minutes. The 11 1/2-month cycle begins again.

Much of it is driven by one goal: to catch the eye of college coaches.

Dave Smith has an important perspective on it all.

He and his wife Jeanne have lived in Westport for over 15 years. Their 4 children played multiple sports, including football, basketball, lacrosse, baseball and volleyball.

Caleb (Staples High School Class of ’24) is playing lacrosse at Boston University. Nathan, a Staples senior, will play football at Trinity College. Chloe is a Staples sophomore, while Noah looks forward to being a freshman there next fall.

From left: Nathan, Caleb, Dave, Noah, Chloe and Jeanne Smith. Caleb and Nathan starred on Staples’ 2024 state champion football team.

Dave played basketball and ran track at Trinity. He runs a leadership coaching practice. Today — with years of youth sports experience behind him — he offers these insights into college recruiting:

According to a recent New York Times article, the youth travel sports industry is now a $40 billion business.

Lots of parents shell out lots of money, while trekking all over the country to help their kids succeed in sports.

“Two in 10 youth sports parents,” the article says, “think their child has the ability to play Division I college sports.”

Playing college sports is a terrific dream, one our family has pursued for all our kids. And we contributed mightily to the youth travel industry along the way.

Recently, my oldest Caleb and I were on an “06880” panel discussing the challenges of navigating youth sports. The notoriously opaque process of college recruiting can be even more bewildering. Having stumbled through recruiting with 3 of ours, my perspectives may be helpful for parents mapping out your child’s journey.

Staples High School sports signing day ceremony, 2024. College sports is a goal for many young athletes (and their parents). But the road is far from smooth. (Photo/Lynda Kommel-Browne)

√ With the NCAA athlete settlement in June, universities opting in (to avoid future litigation) will have roster limits (no more walk-ons), and pay athletes a portion of the school’s revenues. NCAA football and basketball will become the equivalent of baseball’s minor leagues. To play at these Power Conference schools, D1 recruits typically attend specialized private/prep schools, and oftentimes “re-class” (repeat a grade) to have a chance.

√ For smaller D1 schools who don’t opt in (like the Ivy and Patriot Leagues), competition for recruitment is fierce. Even at this level, if you don’t fit the D1 football or basketball measurables for size and speed, you’re unlikely to be considered, regardless of your high school career success or performance at showcases and camps.

√ Some college sports – such as swimming, rowing (erg stats) and track – recruit solely on times.

√ Lacrosse (boys and girls) remains the most viable college recruitment path for Fairfield County public school athletes. The Fairfield County Interscholastic Athletic Conference (FCIAC) is one of the top high school lax leagues in the country. Size does not matter as much as speed and athleticism, making lacrosse viable for many more athletes. As a result of Title IX, the path is easier for girls (125 D1 lax programs) than boys (73 D1 lax programs).

√ Rugby is an up-and-coming sport, with a blossoming youth league and a nationally ranked program at Staples. Size is less of a factor in rugby recruiting than in football.

√ College coaches still value multi-sport high school athletes. They demonstrate a variety of skills, and can adapt to play multiple positions — providing teams with the flexibility needed in today’s college game.

Playing more than one sport is appealing to college coaches. Athletes learn how to deal with a variety of pressure situations, and learn from various coaching styles — while avoiding burnout and overuse injuries. (Photo/Mark Conrad for Ruden Report)

√ D1 recruiting for most sports is heaviest after one’s junior season. Communication with college coaches is conducted through the high school coach. D1 lacrosse recruiting (boys and girls) is heaviest after their sophomore season, and is conducted through their summer club team coach.

√ College coaches prefer not to communicate through parents. In fact, pushy parents are seen as a negative, and can hinder prospects. In my view, college recruiting firms are not worth the money.

√ Lastly, D3 sports are grossly underrated. The quality of competition is tremendous, much better than when I played. Most D3 schools participate in both conference tournaments and national D3 championships. D3 may be an ideal target for public school athletes, especially those who are undersized by D1 standards.

Playing a sport in college is a fantastic experience, and an awesome goal for any athlete. But I try to remember what Tony Boselli, a National Footbal League Hall of Fame lineman and All-American at the University of Southern California told an audience of all-staters: His fondest memories across his entire football career were those high school Friday nights, running onto the field representing his classmates and his town.

Yes, work for the future. But be sure to enjoy the present!

 

Some Staples High School lacrosse players will continue in college. All will always remember their state championship. (Photo/JC Martin)

“06880” Youth Sports Panel: Watch It Here

Youth sports are so good, on so many levels.

They teach goal-setting. Perseverance. Dealing with disappointment. Learning to win with class, and lose without being a jerk.

Working as a team. Working with different personalities. Pushing your body. Having fun. The thrill of victory, and the agony of defeat.

Youth sports are also so bad, on so many levels.

There are parental pressures, and unrealistic expectations. Coaches’ pressures, with their own unrealistic expectations. The high cost of “pay to play.” Specialization. Burnout.

Misplaced values. Time. Traveling each weekend to play “showcase” tournaments (which really aren’t), against teams from the next town.

The other night, “06880” teamed up with young adult author Tommy Greenwald, to present a special panel.

“Fair Play and Foul Behavior: Issues Facing Youth Sports in Today’s World” focused on many of the issues noted above.

It was an expert group. They hit it out of the park.

Panelists included:

  • Tommy Greenwald: former Staples High School soccer state champion captain; father of 3 athletes; author of several books highlight the pressures and joys of youth sports
  • VJ Sarullo, Staples athletic director
  • Dave Smith, father of 4 athletes who writes frequently on youth sports topics
  • Caleb Smith, former Staples quarterback, basketball and All-American lacrosse star, who played football and club lacrosse this year at the University of Connecticut
  • Heather Talbott, PAL girls lacrosse co-president and basketball organizer; former lacrosse player at Lehigh University
  • Mark Pressman, longtime football and softball official.

If you missed the panel — perhaps you were picking up your kids from practice, or coaching a team yourself — we’ve got you covered.

Click here for the video, or watch it below. Game on!

(Panels like this one are one more service of “06880.” If you enjoy the many ways we cover — and educate — our community, please click here to support our work. Thank you!)

“06880” And Tommy Greenwald Team Up For Youth Sports Panel

If your child is a pretty good athlete — or you think they are — odds are they (and you) are part of the “youth sports industrial complex.”

The phrase sounds satirical.

It isn’t.

As any parent with a young travel/elite player knows, the days of kids of varying ages meeting in the backyard, choosing teams, then playing on their own until dinnertime (all while making and enforcing their own rules), has gone the way of wooden bats and $20 soccer shoes.

Blast from the past.

Youth sports is a big business. And in a town like Westport — where personal hitting coaches, shooting coaches and fitness trainers are a dime a dozen (though exponentially more expensive) — there is an expectation that all that time and money will yield a substantial ROI.

Yet — besides rueful comments on the sidelines about yet another trip to yet another “showcase” tournament at yet another faraway place to play yet another game against a team from Wilton — how much do we really talk about this?

Next month, Westport youth sports parents will get a chance to do just that.

“06880” has partnered with Tommy Greenwald to present a special panel. “Fair Play and Foul Behavior: Issues Facing Youth Sports in Today’s World” is set for May 14 (7 p.m., Staples High School cafeteria).

Topics will include the achievement/pressure balance, referee abuse, sport specialization, cost, the “academy” syndrome, myths and realities of college recruiting, and more.

Training, competing — and competing for spots — begins at an early age.

Greenwald is a young adult author, specializing in youth sports. His latest book, “The Right Call” — a companion novel to his previous “Game Changer” —explores the growing pressures young athletes face, and the lengths some parents go to make sure their kid comes out on top. Greenwald will give away some copies of his book at the event.

The 1979 Staples High School state champion co-captain’s 3 sons were also Staples athletes and captains.

Panelists include:

  • VJ Sarullo, Staples athletic director
  • Dave Smith, father of 4 athletes who writes frequently on youth sports topics
  • Caleb Smith, former Staples quarterback and lacrosse star, now playing football at the University of Connecticut
  • Heather Talbott, PAL girls lacrosse co-president and basketball organizer; former lacrosse player at Lehigh University
  • Mark Pressman, longtime football and softball official
  • And of course Tommy Greenwald himself.

Moderator Dan Woog was the Staples boys soccer head coach for 19 years, and a youth coach for nearly 30 years before that. He is a co-founder of the Westport Soccer Association, and writes nationally on youth sports topics.

The event will include time for audience participation.

Dave Smith: Dads’ Survival Guide To Youth Sports

Dave Smith and his wife Jeanne have lived in Westport for over 15 years. Their 4 children played multiple sports, including football, basketball, lacrosse, baseball and volleyball.

Caleb (Staples High School Class of ’24) is at the University of Connecticut. Nathan, a Staples senior, will attend Trinity College. Chloe is a Staples sophomore, while Noah ooks forward to being a freshman there next fall.

From left: Nathan, Caleb, Dave, Noah, Chloe and Jeanne Smith. Caleb and Nathan starred on Staples’ 2024 state champion football team.

Dave played basketball and ran track at Trinity. He runs a leadership coaching practice.

For 5 years, he has published “Dads’ Survival Guide.” The weekly blog highlights parenting and marriage issues, with a perspective many Westport men can relate to.

This week, Dave — who coached his children on Westport Recreation, PAL and Little League teams — tackled a fraught topic: travel sports.

Calling it “a tangled and confusing web for any Dad to navigate,” he offers words of hard-earned wisdom for many Westporters. Dave writes:

The tension and stress on our kids during tryouts. The agonizing wait to hear. The disappointment of missing out. Or the joy of making a team.

Then, the commitment. To each game, practice, clinic and showcase. Year-round. An expectation from team coaches for families to rearrange their lives so players can attend everything.

And the cost! Oh, the cost! Participation fees. Off-season and pre-season workouts. Private coaching. Equipment. Uniforms. Gas. Hotels. Flights. A mind-bogglingly, expensive endeavor.

Yes, that’s travel sports. Which can make us Dads feel helpless. And hapless. Because once we get on the travel train, it seems impossible to get off. Peer pressure compels us to do it all.

Any Dad can struggle with travel sports. Even All-Pro NFLer Greg Olsen, who captured what many of us feel in a recent interview. “Everyone is fearful of our kids falling behind,” said Olsen. “It snowballs. Everyone else is doing it, so we’re just doing what they’re doing.”

Doing what everyone else is doing. Because we’re fearful of our little superstar falling behind. Yep, guilty, as charged.

In the Smith household, with multiple kids playing multiple travel sports, we’ve stumbled and bumbled our way for years. Missteps. Miscalculations. Mistakes. And wasted $$$.

But, what did we know? Nothing. And with advice coming from every angle, we were bewildered about who to believe. Or which paths to take.

Fortunately, none of our blunders were prohibitive. Or fatal. And now, with our brood playing multiple sports in high school and college, we have gained some perspective. Hindsight. Perhaps, too late for us. But maybe, helpful for others.

Here’s my 2 cents – for what it’s worth.

Specialization: 10,000 hours. Focus, focus, focus. We were told countless times the only way to play sports at the highest levels was by specializing. In a single sport. And a specific position. From a young age.

Baloney. There are countless athletes playing multiple sports in high school. Truth is, for many kids specialization is the wrong route.

With no participation requirement in high school sports, specialization narrows possibilities. In basketball, there are 5 on the court. Maybe 8 in the rotation. Chosen across 3 classes (soph, junior, senior). Only 9 on a baseball diamond. These limited play possibilities may alter one’s youth sports calculus.

Oftentimes, specialization leads to injuries from overuse. Working the same muscles again and again, year-round. TEENS having Tommy John surgery! Crazy And, kids burnout. Physically. Mentally. Emotionally. One day our tiny protégé loves a sport. The next, they’re done with it.

Personally, I’m a huge proponent of remaining multi-sport athletes as long as possible.

Nearly 57 percent of Tommy John surgeries are performed on 15-19-year-old baseball players.

Success Factors: In my experience, the attributes high school coaches value in players is entirely different from those youth coaches prefer.

High school coaches want unselfish, team-first players, who listen and learn. Mastering the fundamentals of DEFENSE and footwork are essential. Players must watch film and know the playbook. Coaches look for character in their players. Those with resolve and tenacity, an ability to fight thru adversity.

Fact is, size, strength or athletic advantages in youth play may not translate to success at the next level. Conversely, there are plenty of prolific high school athletes who were not standouts in youth sports.

Team Wins over Individual Development: Travel coaches – the professionals – focus on team success to help promote their Travel program. There is limited focus on individual skill development during a travel season. Teaching our kids the basics of how to pitch properly, swing a bat or shoot a basketball is on us Dads. Either by ourselves or with a private coach. This was a big surprise for me.

Alternative Sports: Youth programs center around a small subset of sports. With so many kids fighting for so few high school slots, the competition in these sports is intense.

However, there are plenty of high school sports for boys and girls which don’t get much fanfare but can be equally as enriching. Cross-country. Volleyball. Rugby. Hockey. Wrestling. Skiing. Swimming. Diving. Water polo. Fencing. Golf. Tennis. Squash. Cheerleading. Crew. Track and Field. Loads of options for our kids to play through high school. And perhaps, beyond.

After Staples, Terry Brannigan went on to a very successful wrestling career at Wesleyan University.

Best Fit: As we ponder the intense commitment and $$$ of travel sports, we should start by considering each child’s strengths, natural talents, and personality.

Do they prefer individual sports, relying on their own performance vs. being part of a team? Are they repeat-motion kids; meticulous and disciplined enough to do one thing over and over again (pitching, rowing or field goal kicking)? Do they have strong hand-eye coordination (hitting a baseball, tennis or catching a football)?

Are they high endurance athletes (running, biking)? Capable of hustling up and down the field endlessly (midfielders)? Or are they best suited for shorts bursts of intense effort (sprints, shot put, wrestling)? Would our kids thrive in high profile, pressure positions (QB, goalie, gymnast)? Or prefer operating in the background (lineman, outfield, defender)?

Finding sports and positions which match our kids’ nature helps build confidence from an early age. While developing a passion to improve.

Travel sports can be a terrific way for our kids to pursue what they love. And compete at a high level. Yet, travel sports can be confusing. Especially for Dads. Thinking about the down-the-road realities can help make the travel sports experience even greater for our kids. And better for us Dads, too.

Go, Dads. Go.

(To be added to the “Dads’ Survival Guide” distribution list, email davidosmith7777@gmail.com) 

(“06880” often covers youth issues, sports and parenting topics. We also frequently offer a platform for readers’ opinions. If you enjoy our hyper-local blog, please click here to aid our work. Thanks!)

Dave Smith Guides Dads’ Survival

Wherever men gather — on the sidelines of their kids’ games, at a Compo cookout, by the transfer station — the conversations are the same.

“How’s it goin’?”

“Good. Kids, wife, work — all good.”

Then it’s on to the next topic: the coach, the meat, the trash.

Much of the time, of course, it’s not “all good.” Far from it.

The kids are acting up. The marriage is rocky. The job is stressful.

Most men don’t talk about that stuff.

Dave Smith does.

The Madison native — a baseball player at Trinity College, and graduate of Harvard Business School — his wife Jeanne and their 2 children moved to Westport in 2008.

They’ve had 2 more since then. His career as a leadership coach has flourished.

Dave and Jeanne Smith, and their 4 children.

But his side gig — a weekly blog called “Dads’ Survival Guide” — sets him apart from the stereotypical suburban father.

“It’s always been secretive that being a dad is a struggle,” Smith says.

“If it’s a secret, you feel isolated. And that can lead to drinking, substance abuse, gambling — or worse.”

“Worse” includes suicide. Several years ago, a friend took his life.

“Dads who had known him well had no idea he was struggling,” Smith says. “It broke our heart to realize he had struggled alone.”

He organized a few “dad barbecues,” to get conversations going. Then COVID hit.

“Wow! If things were not hard enough for dads before …” Smith says.

He does not downplay the difficulties facing moms. But, he says, women are more socialized to talk things out, and seek support from friends. “Men put on an act. We never admit anything is wrong.”

In the early days of the pandemic, Smith began writing. His subjects were ideas that hit home: dealing with teenagers. Dealing with money. Dealing with emotions.

Screenshot from a “Dads’ Survival Guide” post.

He sent his stories to friends. They passed them to others. Dads are not big on writing back, he says, but occasionally he hears “Man! I’m going through the same thing!”

Smith says up front: “I don’t have the answers. I just try to put a voice to our struggles. I put it out there, that we’re all struggling with the same things. And it’s okay to talk about it.”

Simply hearing another man put words to feelings is a revelation to some men, Smith says.

His posts on marriage and parenting issues get the most response. He recently wrote about reactions when a child lies.

Kids’ emotional well-being is an important topic. So is the mental health of dads themselves.

“A lot of dads struggle with depression,” Smith says. “But there’s nowhere besides AA or rehab where you can talk about it.”

His goal is to continue to be “as open as possible. I want to put a voice to values and beliefs. Dads tend not to think about things like that.”

Dave’s “Dads’ Survival Guide” forces them to think.

So perhaps the next time one man asks another “How’s it goin’?” the answer may not be “all good.” Get ready for an answer that may be far more honest than that.

(To be added to the “Dads’ Survival Guide” distribution list, email davidosmith7777@gmail.com) 

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