Tag Archives: Bullying

[OPINION] Anonymous Reporting Can Keep Kids Safe

Diana Capellán has been following the Board of Education’s discussion of a new Code of Conduct for students.

Tomorrow night (Thursday, May 16, 7 p.m., Staples High School cafeteria), they’ll have a third reading of the policy.

Diana writes:

Back in 2016, our community mourned the tragic suicide of a 14-year-old Staples High School freshman.

In an open letter to then-superintendent of schools Dr. Elliott Landon, his parents wrote:

Several current Staples students have reported observing bullying, humiliating or inappropriate behavior by one or more peer or peers toward others, and these students report that [they] do not know how to respond or intervene.

They feel guilty and ashamed of their inaction and passive consent to the blatantly behaviors.

We wish to address school policy regarding mandatory electronics access and usage during class. We spoke with our son’s team of teachers and guidance counselor about limiting his access to his phone and laptop during the day to enhance his focus on his work. We were told that he had to have his laptop with him.

Frankly, there should be more and better options available. Such policy presently seems to result in social media access during school hours, which is counterproductive to the learning environment and subjects kids to additional cyberbullying. “

Fast forward to today. We still have similar challenges with our children being constantly online, and their safety.

Our children have access to their phones and social media during school hours, affecting not only their mental health but also increasing their likelihood of being exposed to hateful content.

Those online exposures inevitably bleed into the real world. In the last couple of months, we have seen concerning cases of racist and antisemitic hate incidents in our schools. Yet students still don’t know how to report or intervene when they see a peer being harassed in school or online.

Along with over 40 concerned parents, and at the behest of our school administrators at the March 13 Temple Israel event on bias, we have been contributing to the code of conduct process to find ways to address the issues of hate-based harassment we’re seeing in our schools.

We launched a website to raise awareness of 4 points that need further consideration in order to have a comprehensive code of conduct and rollout plan.

After further research, we realized that the single most impactful policy is implementing an anonymous reporting system, as has already been done by Darien, Greenwich and Norwalk.

According to a recent study by researchers at the University of Michigan, an anonymous reporting system increases the likelihood of students reporting signs of concerning behavior so it can be promptly investigated and addressed by administrators before it escalates to harassment.

Specifically, we’d like to bring the evidence-based Say Something program by Sandy Hook Promise to our schools.

Their website says: “Sandy Hook Promise’s no-cost Say Something program teaches elementary, middle and high school students to recognize the warning signs of someone at risk of hurting themselves or others, and how to say something to a trusted adult to get help.”

This training and app would not only empower bystanders to take action and help children feel more comfortable reporting bullying, but is also designed to be a powerful tool to keep our children safe from the threat of gun violence.

Tomorrow’s Board of Education agenda includes cellphone use during school hours and voting on the new code of conduct, which includes a provision to implement an anonymous reporting program in our schools.

Comments about a no-cellphone use police during school hours, and an anonymous reporting system to keep our children safe can be sent to boe@westportps.org, and/or made during the BOE’s public comment period.

Scarice Addresses Social Media Concerns, “Toxic Achievement” Culture

In the wake of several disturbing incidents involving social media (mis)use by Westport students, Superintendent of Schools Thomas Scarice sends this message to parents:

One of the important, but unfortunate, roles of our school administrators is to address misconduct by students ranging from minor to extremely serious. We also address the impact of any misconduct on other students and the school community.

Since the start of this school year, we have addressed acts of bullying, threatening, harassment on the basis of protected classes, and in some cases, threats of violence and actual violence.

Our new reality is that most of the incidents stem from interactions among students over social media. Students are creating and circulating videos, exchanging text messages, or recording and sharing misconduct (i.e. bullying, threatening, violence, etc.) as it occurs in real time. This is highly disturbing, and disruptive to the school environment.

Students today have access to multiple social media platforms.

If your child has access to TikTok or other social media platforms, as most secondary, and some elementary students do, they have likely viewed such videos that have originated and been widely disseminated from students in Westport, and also from others across the country.

What’s problematic is that most of these incidents originate outside of school (i.e. at home, in the community, on weekends, etc.), yet these incidents have proven to have a significant negative impact on our students’ well-being and sense of safety, as well as the entire school environment.

As such, when these incidents occur, even if off campus, it is within the purview of the school district to administer consequences and seek restoration between students when appropriate.

You will likely hear about these unfortunate incidents. However, I want to caution that information you might hear in the community is not necessarily what we have found to have actually occurred following careful investigations.

Rumor and misinformation contribute to a climate of fear. There are very clear and rigid student privacy laws that the district must follow. We cannot share all information that occurs within the disciplinary matters the schools must address.

Superintendent of schools Thomas Scarice.

However, I can assure you that there are comprehensive processes in place to investigate and swiftly address these matters. Each of the incidents that has occurred this year, including those in the past month, has been handled in accordance with the district code of conduct, bullying and harassment laws, and other applicable laws.

Additionally, I can assure you that beyond consequences, the district aims to restore and provide supportive measures where appropriate. Whenever our students are affected by these incidents, we support them in a variety of ways.  We strictly prohibit all forms of bullying, harassment, and hate-based conduct, and we are constantly working toward cultivating a school culture and environment that is safe and inclusive for all students.

These are top priorities for us at all times. However, at the present moment, these incidents have taken on a heightened significance as we confront international violence and atrocities that have affected many members of our community, both directly and indirectly.

We are addressing an increasing number of off-campus social media incidents.  We cannot do this alone and need parental support. We ask that you are fully attuned to your child’s social media consumption and dissemination.

Any member of our school community who becomes aware of an act of bullying, harassment, violence, or threats should promptly report these concerns to their building principal, assistant principal, or other staff member. If you have media recordings we ask that you share them with the building administration to assist in our investigations. We take these matters extremely seriously, and we ask that our families serve as partners in helping us identify and prevent this conduct in school, out of school, and online.

Scarice also wants parents to know about an important upcoming event.

I am halfway through the book “Never Enough” by Jennifer Breheny Wallace.  As a fellow parent, I give this book my highest recommendation to our parent community.

On Wednesday, November 15, at 7 p.m. in the Westport Library, Westport Together and the Library will host the author of “Never Enough: When Achievement Culture Becomes Toxic—and What We Can Do About It.” I strongly encourage you to make time to attend.

Drawing on interviews with families, educators, and an original survey of nearly 6,000 parents, Wallace investigates the deep roots of toxic achievement culture and finds out what we must do to support our kids. She maintains that the pressure to perform is not a matter of parental choice but is baked into our larger society and the daily experience of families. As a result, she contends that children are increasingly absorbing the message that they have no value outside of their accomplishments, a message that is reinforced by the media and greater culture at large.

Today’s students truly face unprecedented pressure to succeed, however that is defined by families and society. Through deep research and interviews with today’s leading child psychologists, Wallace illustrates that what kids need from adults is not more pressure, but to feel like they matter, that they have intrinsic self-worth not exclusively contingent upon external achievements.

Wallace makes the case that parents and educators who adopt the language and values of “mattering” help children see themselves as a valuable contributor to a larger community. In an ironic twist, Wallace shares that kids who receive consistent feedback that they matter, no matter what, are more likely to have the resilience, self-confidence, and psychological security to thrive.

If you are concerned about these dynamics for your own child, or for the community, I strongly encourage you to join us on November 15 at 7 p.m. at the Westport Library.

(“06880” is your hyper-local blog. Please support our work, by clicking here. Thank you!)

I Am More Than …

For a few weeks now, the Westport Arts Center has been asking folks what they are “more than.”

Men, women and kids, old-timers and newcomers, well-known and unknown, politicians and business professionals, artists and athletes, religious figures and atheists — more than 500 people have responded.

They say: “I am more than … a housewife … my bank account … bi-polar … gay … Jewish … a twin … middle-aged … my pretty clothes … a mailman … a bald guy … an immigrant … a nun.”

They say it graphically: with words and photos.

i-am-more-than-1

The images — dramatic and strong — were taken by Xenia Gross.

i-am-more-than-2

Last night, the WAC hosted an opening reception for those dozens of “As We Are” portraits, and hundreds more cards. They’re part of a larger “MORE Than Words” exhibit — dedicated to artistic expressions of gender, racial, religious, geopolitical and age inequality, along with the impact of bullying.

Guests at last night's Westport Arts Center opening reception viewed dozens of "I am more than ..." posters.

Guests at last night’s Westport Arts Center opening reception viewed dozens of “I am more than …” posters.

A picture is indeed worth more than 1,000 words.

Or 7.

i-am-more-than-3

The Westport Arts Center is located at 51 Riverside Avenue. The exhibition continues through March 11. Click here for more information. NOTE: A supporting event — a SlamJam featuring dance, music, rap, poetry, spoken word and song, performed by teens with something to say about empathy — is set for tomorrow (Sunday, January 29, 5 pm) at the Westport Country Playhouse. Click here for more information on that event.

Bullying And Cyber-Threats: The (Teen) Experts Speak

“Stricter parents make sneakier children.”

That was one of the gems offered Thursday night. The Westport Arts Center and Anti-Defamation League presented a workshop on “What Children Wish Their Parents Knew About Bullying, Cyber-Bullying and Name-Calling.” It was part of the WAC’s current “More Than Words” exhibition, about that topic.

Marji Lipshez-Shapiro — ADL-Connecticut’s director of education — led the event. But the high school panelists stole the show.

They’re the ones who delivered insights like the one about strict parents and sneaky children. The speaker above was explaining that because teenagers’ technical skills far outstrip their parents’, mutual trust makes that relationship work.

Johnny Donovan and Megan Hines — co-presidents of Staples’ Kool To Be Kind group — and fellow K2BK members Gavin Berger, Brian Greenspan, Isabel Handa, Ben Klau and Emerson Kobak — reassured the 100 parents in attendance that they’re raising their kids well. They praised the school system and town for their bullying prevention and intervention programs.

The panelists also presented some scary previews of what’s ahead.

Brian Greenspan, Ben Klau, Gavin Berger and Emerson Kobak were part of the Kool To Be Kind panel at the Westport Arts Center.

Brian Greenspan, Ben Klau, Gavin Berger and Emerson Kobak were part of the Kool To Be Kind panel at the Westport Arts Center….

Among their thoughts:

One Stapleite said that Instagram is a good way for 7th graders to start on social media. Facebook can be added in late middle school. Beware: Snapchat can be “dangerous.”

But another said, “Let kids discover social media on their own. Putting on age restrictions makes something seem taboo.”

When one panelist’s parents gave her a smartphone, they asked for her passcode — and told her they could check it any time. They don’t — but she realizes they can. “So I know the boundaries,” she concluded.

Parents should teach their children that the cyber world is not private. Middle schoolers “don’t know that innately.”

Some parents limit their kids’ technology use by making sure phones, laptops and other devices are charged each night in the kitchen — or parents’ rooms. One K2BK member was actually relieved by that rule. “I would’ve gotten no sleep in middle school if I could have texted all night,” he said. Another explained, “It’s not healthy to be distracted all the time.”

...And so were Johnny Donovan, Megan Hines and Isabel Handa.

…And so were Johnny Donovan, Megan Hines and Isabel Handa.

Stresses on tweens and teens are real. “Don’t say ‘get over it,'” one of the panelists noted. “That doesn’t help at all.”

As for bullying: Classmates and older kids are not the only perpetrators. “The meanest thing anyone ever said to me was by a teacher,” one boy noted.

When should parents call other parents about an issue between their children?

“It ends at elementary school,” one girl said. “After that, kids need to learn to fight their own battles.”

“It’s never too young to encourage your child to have her own voice,” another member added. “But you still have to let them know you’ll always be there for them.”

Bullying can take place in person, or in cyberspace.

Bullying can take place in person, or in cyberspace.

Megan gave a particularly powerful presentation. Speaking personally — as someone who does not take Advanced Placement or Honors courses, and who has been called “stupid” because of her passion for fashion merchandising — she spoke articulately, and at times painfully, about her journey to believe in herself.

Ultimately, the panelists agreed, raising a child who can stand up to name-calling; who does not bully, and who can navigate the complex world of cyberspace, is a comes down to trust.

“My parents gave me the stage,” one of the Staples students said. “And they let me tell my own story on it.”

Yik Yak: The Bad, The Ugly — And The Good

Last Thursday, for a few gruesome hours, Yik Yak swept through Staples High School.

For those who haven’t heard of it — and count yourselves lucky — Yik Yak is an app that allows anyone to post short messages.

Yik YakUnlike Twitter though, users are anonymous. And messages can be viewed only in a 1.5-mile radius. So each Yik Yak group is limited to a precise area — say, a school.

Which makes it fertile ground for gross, moronic comments about classmates, teachers and administrators.

Most of Thursday’s posts were astonishingly misogynistic. Others targeted blacks, Hispanics, Jews and gays.

Yik Yak offered a very disturbing look into the dark underbelly of the adolescent world. It’s a view adults seldom see.

Stuff that in the past appeared only on bathroom walls now infests cyberspace. Yet unlike graffiti, Yik Yak’s posts replicate virally. And unlike graffiti, they can’t be erased.

One of the milder posts on Yik Yak. (Not from the Staples version.)

One of the milder posts on Yik Yak. (Not from the Staples version.)

Several students — stunned at what they read about themselves — left class crying. Girls learned they are considered sluts, or obese pigs. Boys were threatened with violence because they are perceived to be gay. Principal John Dodig — who for 10 years has tried to create a safe, welcoming environment for all — was mocked too.

Dodig moved quickly, asking the IT staff to block the site. Soon, superintendent of schools Elliott Landon got Yik Yak to erect a “geo-fence” around it, blocking access in school. (Officials in other Fairfield County towns — and the city of Chicago — have done the same.)

Yik Yak disableBy Friday morning, Yik Yak was gone. The damage lived on though, in the form of students who were mortified to learn what others thought of them. Some did not want to come to school. Tears, humiliation, even terror continued over the weekend for some.

But this story is not about the hateful, incendiary comments some Stapleites — how many is unclear — posted about their classmates, teachers and administrators.

It’s about what happened afterward.

anti-bullyingDodig left school Thursday “disappointed and somewhat depressed.” His decade of work — trying to build a climate of inclusiveness and kindness, a school free of harassment for any reason — seemed to have crumbled.

On Friday he was scheduled for a meeting elsewhere. But he wanted to be visible. So between every class period, he stood in the halls. At lunch, he was near the cafeteria.

All day long, students approached him. Singly or in small groups, they spoke.

“I’m sorry we disappointed you.” “This isn’t who we are.” “You must feel terrible.” “This is an awesome school.” “I apologize on behalf of my classmates.”

Over and over and over again, Staples students did the right thing.

Driving home that afternoon, Dodig says, “I felt so much better. To see so many of these kids with the courage and strength of character to say this to their principal — it was very encouraging and reaffirming.”

John Dodig is a "superfan" of Staples students.

John Dodig is a “superfan” of Staples students.

Dodig’s mission as Staples principal is to try to make all 1,900 students feel known and loved, by at least one adult. He’s tried to provide a safe, warm and encouraging space for every single boy or girl who comes through the doors every morning.

The vile posts on Yik Yak last Thursday devastated him. The counter-response on Friday made him realize the positive effect he’s had on many.

Yet more work remains to be done. Dodig has encouraged his staff to continue to try to end harassment and bullying, whenever and wherever it occurs. He hopes parents, clergy and other adults in Westport will continue to do the same.

He knows it’s not easy.

And he knows that Yik Yak is not the end of the battle.

“There will always be some technology available that kids misuse,” Dodig says.

Hopefully, there will also be many more kids who — as they did last Friday — know good from evil, and right from wrong. And are not afraid to do the right thing.

(Staples senior Will Haskell — president of Staples Players — has written a brutally honest and spectacularly insightful piece, for New York Magazine. It was published earlier this afternoon on their website. Click here for an insider’s account of the havoc Yik Yak wrought.)  

What Would You Do?

Ask.fm is the latest post-anything website both beloved and hated by teenagers. Its anonymous question-and-answer format allows — if not encourages — abusive, bullying content. (The site was referenced in news reports of the suicide of a 12-year-old Florida girl.)

I know this because a Westport parent told me about Ask.fm, and described its use by middle school students here.

Ask fmThe bullying of the parent’s child (and a friend who stood up for the child) peaked this winter, with repeated references to school events. The child went to  administrators, who after an investigation said that one perpetrator had been identified. An official said the bully was remorseful, and an apology would be forthcoming.

It never came.

The parent and child were uneasy. Neither knew which classmate had been behind the bullying, or which of the parent’s adult friends were helping that child hide behind the legal right of anonymity for juveniles.

“You know who punches you in the face on the playground,” the parent says. “But today’s technology allows this to be the perfect crime.”

The parent considered going to the police. Anonymity would still be honored, but in the parent’s words, “the process would be the punishment.”

After all, the parent says, “this family hasn’t had the moxie to come forward. We don’t even know if they punished their child.”

Bullying 3

The parent does not know if going to the police is the right thing to do. Is it overkill? If so, is overkill worth getting some satisfaction of knowing something happened — even if the parents never learn what (or even who) was involved?

The parent wants to know what “06880” readers think. Should the parents of the bully have stepped up and apologized — or made their child do so? Should the police be involved? Are there other options?

Click “Comments” to weigh in. And — unlike Ask.fm — please use your real name.

“I Was A Bully”

Alert “06880” reader Mike Pryor — a former Westporter — sent this along. His powerful words speak for themselves.

I moved to Westport in the summer of 1981. I had just turned 11.

I met the kids in the neighborhood, and for the most part they were pretty cool. We rode dirt bikes together, played tennis on my neighbors’ court.

There were some incidents that were traumatic for a kid trying to fit in. Like when in the middle of a tennis match a neighbor kid would show up with his BB gun, and tell me I had 10 seconds to run before he started shooting.

I ran. I felt like such a loser.

So being a bully it wasn’t something I sought out. It wasn’t a role I would have chosen to play. It wasn’t even something I realized I did — until 20 years after it happened.

I bullied.  I was a bully.

I made someone else feel bad to make myself feel better.

Bullying 1

The person I’m talking about was a sweet girl in my neighborhood, my age. Some idiots made up some horrible, disgusting stories about her. The stories were passed around.

She did nothing to deserve this. Any more than I deserved the BB gun threat.  But I took some cheap shots at her expense that got a laugh, helped me gain ground and be accepted.

But I also saw the pain in her face. And it stayed with me.

I traded her feelings for my security. Making fun of her helped me feel like one of the gang. Like I belonged.

She transferred to a different school. I’m not sure if that was a result of the bullying or not. But it didn’t curb it. Her new school’s bus stop was the same as ours. So there were daily opportunities for us to ridicule her, or just get a quick little jab in. All of these, I’m sure now, chipped at her self-esteem. What kid needs to go through that?

Now I am the father of 2 girls. My youngest is the age of the girl I bullied. It twists my gut to think there could be someone out there who would do something like that to my girls.

bullying 2I understand now what I might not have been able to at that age. I understand now that bullying has an impact far beyond any comprehension I was capable of then. I’m not going to pretend to be a psychologist, but I do know the importance of self-confidence in kids — girls in particular. I know what I did damaged that girl.

This has been sitting with me for some time now. I wasn’t sure what to do with it. I can’t make what I did go away. It will not be changed by any passage of time.

I have no reason for it. I have no excuse for it. It doesn’t matter that everyone was doing it. It doesn’t matter that it happened to me too. It matters that I did it. And it matters that I hurt this girl.

She moved away. I moved away. It’s been 30 years. But I wish somehow, some way she can know that I know. I know it was wrong, and I’m truly sorry for it.

And I want her to know that I’m determined to make something positive come out of it.  That I’m using that experience to raise my daughters to be better than I was.

Bullying, The Federalist Papers And “06880”

Bullying is making news everywhere.

Schools hold workshops on it. Books are written about it. A television anchor — harassed for being overweight — speaks out against it.

To which alert “06880” reader Jennifer Johnson writes:

There are many forms of bullying. We should not tolerate any of it in our community.

I would like to urge you not to allow your blog to be a source of anonymous bullying in our community.

I fully support the opportunities for Westporters to share ideas and express opinions, as your blog does. Where I have trouble stomaching your blog is when “anonymous comments” are posted that have a direct or indirect tone of personal attack. This is a form of bullying.

October is National Bullying Prevention Month. Please take a lead in our community in showing that bullying, at any age and on any topic, is not tolerated.

Done.

I am — and continue to be — a fervent 1st Amendment supporter. Americans have the right to express opinions — anonymously, if they wish. It’s a tradition dating back to the Federalist Papers, now affirmed by law — and “06880” is a forum that allows them to do so.

Yet the Federalist Papers were strongly worded articles and essays, arguing forcefully for the adoption of the Constitution. They were not attacks on individuals, and opinions were backed up with facts.

I know, I know: Comments typed quickly on a 21st century blog are different from those written laboriously by quill and ink 225 years ago.

But if we use the Federalist Papers as a raison d’etre for allowing anonymous comments, we should also use them as a model for what to say, and how to say it.

No bullying, please, on “06880.”

This month, or any other.

DARE To Talk About Pressures

The story of persistent bullying against a Westport middle school student — and the YouTube video she posted about it — made national headlines last month.

The school district has policies and procedures, describing education efforts and responses to reports of bullying by teachers, administrators and staff members.  But some of the most effective work may be done by students themselves.

Zoe Cohen and Kate O'Brien.

Earlier this year Staples sophomores Zoe Cohen and Kate O’Brien — members of the school’s Teen Awareness Group — had an idea.  They were already making presentations to freshmen, on topics like friendships, substance use — and bullying.

The impact of hearing teenagers — from Westport — talk about those issues was far greater than listening to adults.

So, the girls wondered:  Why not do it for younger kids?

TAG advisor Chris Lemone and DARE officer Ned Batlin thought it was a great idea.

TAG members — including Zoe and Kate — have already presented to Long Lots and Green’s Farms 5th graders.

“We talk about how good friends don’t put peer pressure on someone,” Kate says.

“A lot of the questions the kids asked were about fights with friends,” Zoe adds.  “Some of them are worried about middle school.  We were definitely honest, and said middle school can be tough because everyone is trying to fit in.  We tried to reassure them.”

Zoe adds, “I had DARE when I was at Long Lots, and I got a lot out of it.  But we never heard older kids talk.”

Many TAG members have spoken with 5th graders through DARE.  They’ve had great experiences, and have enjoyed watching the youngsters move from hesitancy to exploding with questions and comments.  “Even the boys take part!” Kate says.

“People think of TAG as only being about drinking and driving at Staples,” Zoe says.  “We want to do more in the community, and DARE is a start.”

The 5th graders are not the only ones who get something out of the discussions.  The TAG students do too.

“I really feel like I’ve accomplished something when they share their stories and worries with us,” Zoe says.

“They really trust us about things like bullying,” Kate adds.  “They believe what we say.”

Sticks And Stones

Bullying has gotten plenty of attention lately.

Educators, psychologists and parents have detailed the pernicious effects words can have on young people.  Schools, the mall, online — bullies, it seems, are everywhere.

But nothing describes the pain and hurt like the words of a bullied child herself.

Silently — simply holding up cards with words and phrases, backed by a haunting soundtrack — a Westport 8th grader tells her story on YouTube.

“Help!” her video begins.

“My name is Alye.  I’m in 8th grade.”

She says she may look happy, but she isn’t.  She has “3?  4?” friends.

Every day she is called “bitch, whore, fat, lesbo, slut, freak, ugly, weird, fag.”

She is in “therapy/guidance” more than her classes.

“Will high school get worse?” she wonders.

“Help.”  She repeats.  “Words do hurt.”

Since it was uploaded earlier this month, the video has garnered a few thousand views.

It’s also generated dozens of comments.

Many were supportive, like this one:

I was bullied in school.  I’m 45 now, married, we have two kids and more friends than I can count.  Hang in there.  There’s more to life than what goes on in school.  You have a lot of good things to look forward to.

And this:

well done Alye.  You are a beautiful girl, inside and out.  I know you will be ok!!!!  I am shocked of how mean kids are to each other.  But I guess many of them are hurt and don’t know any other way but hurt others.

Alye, your life will change the world!!!

Some were more personal:

Alye, hey!  it’s Isabel! from french class =)

I’m so sorry to hear about your struggles everyday.  It sickens me to know that there are people in our school that go through this.  Just know that people do care about you, just read the comments!  You are so brave for posting this and remember you DO fit in!  Hang in there!!

And this:

hey alye, it’s anabelle.

you could be the bravest person I know. you don’t deserve all the shit you get.  hang in there cause in high school no one is gonna give a crap anymore.  westport sucks I know, but hang in there.  you’re strong.  and you’re not wrong, words can hurt.

i wish you the best. ps, locker buddies 😉

But there was also this:

You see Alye, you are a ugly, weird, freaky, fat, lesbian, fag, and a complete whore-bitch.  You make this video out of the desperation of others who feel obligated to help you when in reality, they just hate you more for this. I  use to think you were only a complete and utter asshole.  but now I feel like your just a dumb skank who searches for pity in any possible way.  Even if you were to get more friends with this, would you really be happier?  Cause I hope you realize they do it out of pity. <3
Alye’s very courageous, very important work continues.
(Thanks to Westport Patch, which first noted this video.)