As 1 of only 4 folks left in town during last week’s school vacation, I had the roads to myself.
Enjoying the rare opportunity to look around at something other than cars zooming in and out of driveways, drivers dyeing their hair while writing novels on iPhones, and joggers using the center stripes as their own personal tracks, I noticed something odd: A lot of Westporters don’t know it’s almost March.
The reason I know this is because their Christmas wreaths, pine cones and whatnot still decorate their front doors, windows and fences.
It’s a good thing they don’t live in Aurora, Illinois.
Government officials there — where apparently even less happens than here — are taking action against wreath vagrants. An ordinance limits outdoor seasonal displays to 60 days before and after the holidays — and that time is almost up. Violators will be fined $50.
Since the law was enacted in 2006, the city has issued 383 citations. Bah, humbug!
Though the ordinance “absolutely” raises free speech issues, a constitutional law professor says, Aurora has not faced any legal challenges.
What are the odds that — if Westport passed a similar law — it would sit, quiet as a partridge in a pear tree, on the books?
And that if 383 citations were handed out, not 1 person would sue?
That sound you just heard is hundreds of Westport husbands, telling their wives to stop nagging. The wreaths will stay up till Easter. Or Memorial Day. Hell, maybe longer.
Why? Because they can.