Dave Stalling grew up in Westport. After graduating from Staples High School in 1979, he served in a Marine Corps Force Recon unit.
He has degrees in forestry and journalism, has worked for wildlife conservation organizations, and served as president of the Montana Wildlife Federation. He lives in Missoula, and writes:
I have worked on wildlife conservation issues in Montana for almost 40 years, so I often met with and got to know former Senator Jon Tester.
He supported most of the issues I fought for, and not just wildlife related. He helped me with my veteran’s benefits; he passed legislation to help veterans like me; he fully supported gay rights issues (and loves and supports his gay son), and he worked with my son Cory, to help pass the Muscular Dystrophy Care Act.
Former Senator Jon Tester with Cory Stalling.
So yes, as I’m sure you’ve guessed by now, I’m defending Jon Tester. [The former senator riled many Democrats by endorsing independent Seth Bodnar over Democrat Alani Bankhead. Republican Kurt Alme won the open seat last week.]
I am a Montana Democrat. I’m a gay, wolf-loving, pot-smoking, flower-sniffing, liberal environmentalist living in Missoula.
I was a proud drop of water in the recent Blue Wave.
I struggle with mental health and related addiction issues. It sucks. It’s been more difficult as I watch the deterioration of our country — this country I grew up in and once loved so much that I enlisted in the Marine Corps to defend it; to defend the principles I thought our country stood for and I still embrace: Freedom. Liberty and justice for all. Acceptance. Diversity. Unity.
Dave Stalling
When I was young it was common to hear “I don’t agree with what you say, but I would defend with my life your right to say it.”
Nowadays it’s more along the lines of “I don’t agree with what you say, and that makes you an anti-American socialist Muslim (or a fascist, racist Nazi.)”
To cope, I often get away from the noise and into the wilds. Sometimes I watch Barack Obama clips that still inspire me and give me hope. (And Michelle!)
They are my leaders. They are intelligent, inspiring, graceful leaders with integrity. They unite rather than divide people.
United We Stand!
I fear we’re losing that. I fear we too often respond to the divisive MAGA rudeness and anger with our own divisive rudeness and anger adding to divisiveness, rudeness and anger.
We should instead practice what we say we believe in: understanding, empathy, kindness, forgiveness, love, peace.
Dave Stalling cooks dinner.
That’s not easy for me to do. I’m a former Force Recon Marine who has been in a lot of fights. I have been through anger management twice, along with related legal trouble.
But the anger I fed hurt me more than anyone else. It contributed to my mental health issues, related addiction issues, high blood pressure and stress.
So I worked hard at it. I still work at it. I strive to be a better, healthier, kinder, more forgiving person.
I have a wonderful, close, empathetic, kind-hearted friend named Wyatt. He’s helped me become a more open, honest, empathetic, kinder and more forgiving person.
He’s reminded me how important it is to consider what others might be struggling with. To walk in their shoes, as they say (even if it’s a drag queen’s high heels or a logger’s calk boots.)
I might get annoyed with someone in public. But instead of letting that person control my emotions, I will look for something positive. I may say, “That’s a nice shirt.” They smile. I smile. They say “thank you.” We all feel better.
Dave Stalling’s Montana.
It reminds me of the block parties held on Hickory Lane, where I grew up. We’d set up picnic tables and grills, and have a potluck cookout in the circle at the end of our dead-end road.
We set aside differences. We got to know each other. We got along.
That was back when we knew and interacted with our neighbors. We all mostly got along and helped each other when needed, and focused on subjects like fishing, football, shoveling snow, helping each other get our cars up the icy hill, cleaning up after storm damage.
How beautiful it was to set aside our differences, and enjoy standing on a beach at night as a strong breeze blew salty water on our faces while waves crashed into rocks.
For a little while we could free our minds of differences, and share our common humanity.
My dad had a friend we jokingly referred to as Archie Bunker. They didn’t share politics, but they were as close as brothers. They sometimes argued. They fished together. They loved each other.
Dave Stalling’s childhood home, on Hickory Drive.
We were more united. At least we white men were. I’m well aware of flaws in my thinking. They certainly weren’t good times for many women, black people, indigenous people, gays and so on. But my point is this: People of differing values, beliefs and views frequently socialized together.
Little League games, community events, at the ice cream shop, out catching blue crabs, clams, lobsters and striped bass, or playing kickball, hockey and hide-and-seek.
We were a neighborhood. A community. We knew each other. We socialized.
That requires a certain level of manners, understanding, kindness, empathy, cooperation, compromise and love. You know, those things we say we believe in.
We need that back. Let’s not allow the childish, bitter, insulting behavior and anger and hate that drives MAGA control our thoughts, emotions and actions.
We can kill it with kindness. My father succinctly put it this way: “Be nice.”
Let’s be leaders. Let the Blue Wave wash in a return to civility, empathy, forgiveness, kindness and diplomacy in our politics and how we treat each other.
Let’s start with ourselves.
Which brings me back to Jon Tester.
Dave Stalling, with former Senator Jon Tester.
I don’t like what he recently did. I don’t like how he sabotaged the Democratic Party in Montana by recruiting and supporting Seth Bodner as an independent.
But I don’t hate Jon Tester. I believe he was doing what he thought was best for Montana.
I do not agree with him. But I know him to be a sincere, honest, good-hearted man with integrity.
I can’t hate him. I wish others wouldn’t. Think of the good he did. Let it go. Forgive. Move on. Unite. Be nice.
I am grateful to Senator Jon Tester for all the great things he accomplished, and his assistance and kindness to me and my son.
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