Helping Grieving Family, Friends Through Holidays

Jeff Kimball says, “The holidays are filled with joy, lights and laughter. But they’re also a time when people tend to suffer in silence, in the shadows of all the excitement.”

He should know. A longtime Westport resident, he has spent over 20 years supporting children and adults who are sick or grieving, in positions like CEO and executive director at Circle of Care, Experience Camps and United Way of Fairfield County. He is now president of Empower Healing Center, which he co-founded.

Jeff Kimball

“I know what it’s like, having dealt with grief professionally and personally,” Jeff notes.

“I lost my wife to cancer at age 38 when my girls were 3 and 5, and both of my parents, my best friend and my 9-year-old niece, all in a handful of years.

“I have since spent my time giving back to help people who are suffering and need support.

“I know people have the best of intentions and want to help those who are grieving. But many don’t know what to do or say, so they pull away at a time when support is needed most.

“This leaves people feeling even more isolated. I thought it might be helpful to provide some tips — non-therapeutic advice — to let people know what kind of support those of us who are grieving need, especially during the holidays.

Jeff’s Empower Healing Center offers practical tips. They include:

• Lean in. Presence matters more than perfection.
• Don’t try to fix it. As Paul McCartney said, “Let it be.”
• Say a loved one’s name.
• Include them — but give options.
• If you’re tasked with helping people, be specific. Making more demands of someone grieving can feel overwhelming.

• Understand that joy and grief can coexist. Grief is a moment. Grieving is a journey.
• Respect boundaries.
• What you might want in this moment might not be what someone else needs.
• Remember: Grief lasts longer than a season.
• Random acts of kindness are transformative.

For more details on each tip, click here. 

“I’m so proud to live in such a supportive, loving community,” Jeff says.

“I want those who are grieving to know you are never alone, that the hurt you feel will one day be met with loving, warm memories, and that there are many people here in town who love and support you. Don’t ever give up!”