Betty Lou Cummings: A Remembrance

Jamie Greenwald graduated from Staples High School in 1982.

That was over 40 years ago. But he has never forgotten the impact a friend’s mother — Betty Lou Cummings — made on him.

The former Westport 2nd selectwoman, longtime civic volunteer, and ever-smiling presence — died on January 3. Today, Jamie offers this fond remembrance:

As a young person I was admittedly a bit wild, or more than a bit. I experienced life and developed my boundaries by trying all the nutty things a kid could dream up.

Thankfully I survived, and ended up thriving well enough in life, love, with family and friends. The Cummings family was all of these to me, helmed primarily by Betty Lou, which I’m sure Tom will attest to.

All my “friends” in my early years were transient — a single play date at my house or theirs. Their mothers saw the “free spirit” within me, and quickly decided that once was enough for their special son.

So long-term friendships were hard to come by for me. Except for one: Betty Lou’s son Mark — a friendship blessed often by Betty Lou, and her divine gift of light and love which so many in her close circle felt from her. This friendship with Mark continues today, 57 years after our first play date.

For me, Betty Lou’s support was life-altering and inspirational. She saw in me something I did not and could not see in myself. Maybe it was actually there and she could see right through me to some goodness or positivity. Maybe she gave me the benefit of the doubt, or maybe she saw nothing at all but knew Mark enjoyed being with me so she smiled and prayed and hoped I would end up alright and not ruin her dear son.

Betty Lou Cummings and Jamie Greenwald

Betty Lou surely had a way about her. Whatever crazy plot I would dream up with her son, she would give us a slap on the wrist, then hold my wrist for a time and look at me convincingly (through a good long, uncomfortable yet loving stare), telegraphing that we are destined for great things in life. Whenever we messed up, Betty Lou and Tom scolded us, called us knuckleheads, and then hugged us forevermore.

As a child I spent most of my free time at the Cummings homes, soaking up Tom’s creativity and Betty Lou’s love and belief in me. I call her my second mom. But a mom is a mom. And she was one of two. I could not have felt more a part of her pack of monkeys.

Betty Lou’s belief in me, her constant light of love and optimism, her lack of judgment and her ability to make me feel that I would impact the world in a positive way one day, infected me. It saved me. It motivated me. To no small extent it made me who I am today.

Now, I am not anything special to be sure, but I am alive, I have an amazing wife, I have a special family, many friends, and I am surrounded by love. I try every day to do my best to impact the world in positive ways, both big and small, and this drives my thinking daily. Paying it forward, I do my best to help young people find their way in life, both my own kids and their friends, and anyone else who I can support along the way.

Not all young boys have a Betty Lou rooting for them and supporting them, and many don’t get a second chance when they do something stupid. I am one of those fortunate few who did have Betty Lou. And I will always be thankful and filled with gratitude and appreciation for the many gifts she bestowed upon and within me.

She made all the difference to me as a young person, and now as an older person. She may not be with us in the physical form, but a bright and loving energy like Betty Lou’s cannot be turned off. She is well somewhere, and her brightly glowing spirit is helping those who need to be supported and inspired. She will be dearly missed until we all see her again.