Last night’s routine Board of Education meeting was rocked by charges of racist behavior by students — and not enough action by faculty and administrators — during the public comment session.
Dr. Carol Felder — speaking also for her husband, Richard Anderson — grew emotional as she described the “heinous, hateful” abuse their daughters have suffered.
The “most difficult thing” she has ever done, she began, is to “raise Black children in Westport, Connecticut.”
At Bedford Middle School play rehearsals this year, she said, a student pointed a prop gun at her 7th grade daughter and said, ‘This is what happens to people with your color.'”
At Staples High, her 9th grade daughter has heard the “n-word” and “monkey” yelled in crowds — and in geometry class.
Her daughter’s ex-friend, and the friend’s boyfriend, shared texts in which they called her a “n—– monkey.” Dr. Felder said the ex-friend added, “LMAO.”
Dr. Carol Felder (at the microphone) and her husband, Richard Anderson, at last night’s Board of Education meeting. (Screenshot/Dan Woog)
“This isn’t an Anderson problem,” Dr. Felder said. “This is hate, discrimination, peer-based racism, terrorism. This is sad.”
Investigations, support plans and the schools’ bullying policy “do not work,” she continued.
“It is a chronic problem. It is rampant.”
She told the Board of Education: “We’re not here to point fingers. We’re here to ask for assistance. This is Westport’s problem.”
Looking ahead, she said, “We must have conversations with ourselves, our children, our neighbors, and our neighbors’ children.”
She and her husband “want the same thing as anyone else who moves to Westport: a great education, kids who are mentally and physically healthy, without anyone trying to destroy them.
“This is a community problem. Who are these children? Who are their parents, raising them to be animals?”
Dr. Felder said that she and her husband were “putting everyone on notice. We’re showing emotions because they are our kids, and we love them.
“We need you on our side. But you have to recognize: It’s not working.”
After 2 public comments about gun violence, other speakers responded to Dr. Felder’s comments.
The mother of a biracial 3rd grader described his plea for more books that represent him.
One woman who drove “hours” to be there said, “If our African American students can’t be safe, none of your students will be safe.”
She told the Board of Education to cancel winter break. “We are prepared to block the doors,” she warned.
Though the board was slated to move on to agenda items, member Robert Harrington said he would “break protocol,” and apologized to Dr. Felder and her husband.
“We must, and can, do better,” he said. “There will be difficult conversations ahead. We must take this on.”
Member Jill Dillon added, “A meanness runs through our students sometimes. I don’t know where it comes from. But it has to stop.” She urged parents to talk to their children about kindness.
Board member Kevin Christie noted, “there’s a difference between mean-spirited behavior and racism.”
After a 5-minute break, the board reconvened, and moved on to their agenda.
Chair Lee Goldstein said before the public session began — as she always does — that the Board would listen, but not respond to, any comments.
Privacy laws prevent administrators and board members from speaking about individual students and disciplinary matters.
But board members seemed shaken by what they heard.
This conversation has just begun.
Sometimes entitlement can breed hateful behavior. In the late 50’s I heard racial slurs against our Italian classmates. I saw a teacher at Staples deal with it on the spot in one instance.
Richard Rogers knew what the problem was when he wrote the lyrics to this South Pacific number in 1949:
You’ve got to be taught to hate and fear
You’ve got to be taught from year to year
It’s got to be drummed in your dear little ear
You’ve got to be carefully taught
You’ve got to be taught to be afraid
Of people whose eyes are oddly made
And people whose skin is a diff’rent shade
You’ve got to be carefully taught
You’ve got to be taught before it’s too late
Before you are six or seven or eight
To hate all the people your relatives hate
You’ve got to be carefully taught
Growing up in the city, I spent summers in Westport in the 60s and fell in love. So after decades of living on the other coast for my career, Westport is where I picked for my return East – about 16 years ago. I was delighted by how the town itself hadn’t changed much … buildings and public spaces still lovely, still small town, still inviting. That the cottages at Compo Beach were being torn down for houses 3x their size was sad … but there were small improvements in other areas that were still in keeping with the Westport I remembered. (That all seems to be changing now: Westport is starting to look like Stamford – but that’s another issue.)
What disturbed me, though, was how White the town had remained. Surely in the 40 intervening years the town that had been filled with artists and writers and actors would have racially diversified. But it hadn’t. For that matter, the citizenry seemed to have taken a turn away from bohemia.
So I was thrilled to see the emergence of Team Westport and the Westport 10 (which has grown larger!) Hope for us yet!
And now I read this and I’m shocked, and horrified, and – as a White woman – ashamed.
I thought we were different here. I thought we were welcoming and inclusive.
What has happened to us?
Well Said Mickey….today more than ever with social media bullying, a pathetic political landscape, and a generally angry world the media puts in our laps 24-7, parenting is so crucial.
I commend Tom Scarise and our BOE for constantly striving to end bullying and racism in our schools. We must understand our kids don’t reside at school, they have homes, and in those homes parents need to “add on” to inclusivity and “zero tolerance” of racism and prejudice.
A sign “hate has no home here” on a lawn looks great, are we as community preaching and practicing this in our own homes?
Bullying and racism are the hallmark of certain political candidates, who have risen to power hence making this detestable behavior “great again.” If parents and kids see and hear such rhetoric might they find it empowering as well?
My heart goes out to Carol and Richard and their two daughters – we have two daughters as well. I woke up this morning and read this story and know exactly how I would feel if it were my girls that had to endure the total absence of kindness, decency, and humanity that those words represent and the sentiment behind them. We are better than this and blessed to live in this beautiful place we call home. But our beauty cannot not defined by our beaches and parks – it must be based on our shared commitment to tolerance, openness, and making sure all of our children feel safe, not just some of them. Racism and prejudice are an anathema to our community. We have a shared responsibility to ensure that Carol, Richard and their two daughters feel the same way about Westport that we all do – it takes a village.
I have spoken with Dan. Due to the sensitive nature of this topic, he has allowed me to post anonymously.
I am compelled to comment on Carol Anderson’s remarks during the Board of Ed meeting last night as my daughter was involved in the incident at the Bedford play rehearsal with her daughter, “R” and the Bedford administration did not consider or share important context with her.
Our family moved to Westport 10 years ago primarily for the quality school system and diverse community. We are a two-dad family and have Asian-American and African-Americans as family members. Our children are being raised to be good citizens in a loving and supportive household. Our daughter and “R” were friends and had often joked back and forth at play rehearsals. The incident occurred on the second-to-last night of rehearsals, backstage, getting ready for the “mob scene to get the beast”. The prop rifle was being passed around with several kids, but when my daughter picked it up, she pointed it at “R” and another girl and said something inappropriate (not exactly Carol’s quote). Realizing what she said, she immediately apologized. That should have been the end of it. This was not a racial bullying incident which the administration made it out to be. My daughter was barred from the last night of rehearsal. Later that evening, my daughter received a text from “R” asking why she wasn’t at rehearsal. The subsequent text conversations between the girls showed no animosity, no fear between the girls. “R” explicitly said she wanted to continue to be friends with my daughter and “this has gone too far”. She even wrote an email to the assistant principal saying this went too far as my daughter was suspended and taken out of two play performances. I send the text exchange attached to Dan, which was also shared with the administration.
The principal and assistant principal refused to show us the complaint against our daughter. Carol was likely given no context to the incident, the girl’s friendship and the text exchanges between the girls.
I have no doubt these biases exist but, in this case, this was a 12-year-old saying something inappropriate, taking ownership of it and then apologizing. Exactly what we would expect of her.
Dear Anonymous….I find it quite funny you posted anonymous but stated Carol and Richard’s daughter name, along with sharing according to you what the victim stated “this has gone too far” Let me educate you Anonymous. The victim is a child and has to deal with this from a child lens. Her so called friend “A” said something mean and hurtful. Said friend, “A,” then apologizes. Victim decides in that quick moment….I do not have many friends so I may not want to loose this one or let me hide that what “A” said hurts like hell so others won’t use this as more ammunition against me, let me defuse the situation because I want it to just go away because this is all too much for my child lens to understand!!! Or maybe Dr Carol Felder-Anderson and Mr Anderson raised such a loving child that she immediately forgave what your child said. Sooo you shared the innocent victims name and something she supposedly said so please share with us since you claim it was not what the Anderson’s said she said what your sweet “A” said while holding a prop gun to the head of an African American child!!!! I’ll wait………….
Don’t hurt yourself getting off your high horse….smh.
This is such an important and relevant conversation to be having. I think if we’re all honest, we do know where these behaviors in our children come from. Charles and Mickey’s comments above are spot on but also, children today are exposed to more of the wider world – all the good and the bad – than any previous generations have been. Often they encounter shocking stories online with very little adult supervision that could help them better understand and process the atrocities they witness. We know that children explore and try to make sense of the world around them through mimicry and experimentation, and sometimes they are careless or take it too far and need to be reminded of what is acceptable and not, and why.
I’m very glad that Robert broke protocol to apologize directly to Carol and Richard, I’m very grateful to Carol and Richard for bringing their family’s experiences to the town’s attention, and I’m very glad that Thomas Scarice followed up so quickly today. Those actions make me proud to live here and hopeful for more progress. Here’s the thing – racism and bullying always involves at least three parties – the person acting in a racist or bullying way, the person receiving that behavior, and – often overlooked – the person or people who see or hear it and either say/do nothing or say/do something. I’m happy to see Thomas encouraging our school community to be people who say something. We can all help with this in simple ways by letting our children see us be kind, inclusive and considerate to our neighbors. And by actually being kinder, more inclusive and more considerate to each other.
As a side note to the main issue in hand, I am curious about how the prop gun incident during rehearsals was an even a possibility that could happen. As a town we are so proud of our professional-looking school shows. In professional and even semi-professional theatre, there are very clear guidelines on how props should be handled during theatre rehearsals and performances. Anyone can look these up online; I’ll link a resource below for anyone interested. The fact that there was even an opportunity for horseplay with a prop gun tells me that our children are not mature enough to be given access to those kinds of props in shows without much stricter supervision and rules.
https://academicinformation.arts.columbia.edu/theatre/prop-weapons
Dan, please take down the anonymous comment, which has named a young student (and has also misnamed a parent). I don’t know anyone involved, but naming a child here is wrong.
I think it is important to have the view of that parent. If the child’s name can be edited out, I would certainly agree with that.
Good points. I have edited both children’s names.
Dear other parent,
The real issue is that it did happen. The issue is that a 12 year old didn’t even know enough to not have this happen, the issue is that even with no intent it is never ok. The issue is in that moment a comment was made that should have never been made. Yes an apology was given. Great. However that does not mean it is ok. It does not mean now the story changes. It just shows children not being taught properly. The child wants to be accepted she is labeled clearly enough. To justify a comment is WILD! Just like I told Westport to keep their apology regarding my son. We don’t do sorry. The only thing that is sorry is the adults handling the issues.
Once again Mr. Scarice’s response is disappointing and inadequate.
To say we do not tolerate racism (or antisemitism) without saying what strong measures the school system is taking to combat it, how those responsible are being punished and how the student body is being educated about the subject seems to me to be just like those who say after every mass shooting “This is not who we are”, when it is abundantly clear that this is precisely who we are.
Whatever happened, Mr. Scarice seems to be reactive rather than proactive on a variety of issues. I get that he is not able to speak about the details of the matter, but then the statements come out like empty words. Dare I say, I never had this feeling under Dr. Landon.
Thanks, Larry. That is, in fact, exactly who we are and Donald Trump’s huge, “cultishly” loyal following is proof of that pudding.
The fact that the person “allowing” anonymous to post here without reviewing the post is a disgrace. Once something is posted, someone, somewhere has taken a screenshot and will continue to spread the hate. The post containing the child’s name has just enabled anonymous to continue what his daughter started. Was he there to witness the incident or is he repeating what his daughter told him? As a mother who has adult children, I can’t tell you the amount of “stories” my children told me- half truths to get the least amount of punishment. The responsible parent will realize this and educate their children to accept responsibility for their actions and not make excuses for their mistakes. Parents and school officials, you need to do better!
Dan doesn’t need me to defend him, but he clearly reviewed the comment and let it go through, choosing to remove the child’s first name when it was suggested. It isn’t like it wouldn’t have been easy to find out who the child was – it isn’t as if the parents spoke anonymously.
“Was he there to witness the incident or is he repeating what his daughter told him?” is a strange comment, given that the concerned parents were sharing what their daughter told them.
I say this not to call into question anything that any of the parents said. I think they are all sharing the truth as they believe it to be. I have no reason to believe otherwise.
But I am glad the BMS Parent spoke up. It is important that we understand that there isn’t only one side to most stories. It’s good to know that the aggrieved child clearly doesn’t want to lose her friend over the bad judgment of a 12-year-old.
The pitchfork-wielding aimed at an anonymous yet thoughtful commenter shows why some parents (like of those of the anonymous student subjected to the anti-semitism claims) would likely prefer to keep their heads down until the tumult fades away, rather than raise their hands and be publicly branded “parents of a racist/anti-semitic child.”
But IS there a difference between mean-spirited comments and racism? When that mean spirit has a racial basis, it’s racism. When it has a sexist basis, it’s sexism. When it denegrates Jews, it’s anti-semitism. It’s prejudice and it’s ugly.
I grew up as a Jew in Westport, and went through the public school system. At the time, racism wasn’t even on the Westport radar. But there were few Jewish families, thanks to a concerted effort to bar real estate agents from selling to Jews. Discrimination is a systemic problem, and Westport’s history is not stellar in that department. This is not unique to Westport, it’s built into the fabric of most towns that are predominantly and historically white and wealthy.
As an adult, I worked as a diversity educator with the National Conference for Community and Justice (founded as the National Conference of Christians and Jews) and offered workshops to Staples students that addressed all the isms. We learned that the first step towards a remedy is to speak the truth, to recognize prejudice and discrimination in all their nasty guises, and from whence they originate. One needs to be taught to believe that some people are less than others, whether it’s overtly passed on, subtly inferred, or a systemic refusal to sell homes to a specific group.
This is, at least, a teachable moment. If it’s mean, and it’s racial, it’s racism. It’s important that kids know that.
I applaud this family for having the courage to speak out publicly. This is their community and standing up for their family is what any loving parent in this town would and should do. With antisemitism on the rise and microagressions that persist, despite well meaning town and PTA committees, we should be able to humble ourselves enough to listen with an open mind and hear how our actions have hurt our fellow neighbors. As a white mom who moved to this town from the city fearing my children would grow up here with little to no diversity, I begged the question in elementary school, where is the Black History Month celebration? Why are we not honoring Martin Luther King JR? I saw bulletin boards celebrating Dr Seuss’s birthday, but nothing more in February. Pre-2020, I met with the principal and the honest response was, “help us,” “we don’t want to get it wrong.” That was telling me there was “white fragility” and a lack of “expertise” on how to lead any kind of diversity initiative. A few years later, the PTA launched a DE&I council for the district but not without obstacles. But why? There was a study the district conducted to access diversity in the district. That too was met with pushback and protests. TEAM Westport engages students in a yearly essay contest and in that has also has been met with controversy if you remember the year the topic was “White Privilege” and Westport made the national news. As a district that prides itself in providing its students with a top rate education, depriving them of real world examples how they exist in society, how the. Can we expect them to compete in global markets? We are perpetuating the white entitlement if we continue to pander to the few parents that shirk at what books are in the library, what art is taught, movies are shown in school or what clubs are available to students after school. I still see the district tip toeing around parents to not rock the boat as though they are stockholders or investors in a start up rather than doing what’s necessary to prepare our children for a global society. But with such low numbers of students of color, why do they not have more representation at the staff level? This should be a call to action to begin a hiring initiative to increase the number of teachers in the classroom that represent people of color. I fail to see any staff member, teacher or professional from any school my children have attended and here we are doing everything we can to increase diversity in every other sector and here we put all the blame on the children and parents yet the district has done nothing to move the needle from what I can see. And parents, keep speaking up like this family. Go to PTA meetings, share your concerns with your administrators, don’t stay silent and work together to make our schools a safe place for ALL students. When we all know better, we can do better.
I hope that the people of Westport and the entirety of the school systems understand the severity of events like these. I went to Westport schooling for years and experienced similar things. It should be a zero tolerance standard. I was uncomfortable a lot of the time. Someone’s parent is always coming to their defense to justify this kind behavior. Let’s stop solve and get to the bottom of this. If the parents of these young girls are open to it I will take a pause from my military duty to show support during these times and relay they are not alone. A long line of open choice students experienced the same exact thing.
Outrageous and really unbelievable. Parents/teachers/administrators, get your act together! When I was in Westport schools in the 70’s, there was literally one black student at Staples. Bright, interesting and, of course, welcome by all classmates.