Thanks, But No Thanks

Stamford Advocate sportswriter Dave Ruden has a great nose for good stories.  His “Overtime” blog highlights high school sports — and as often as he can, he features good news.

Last weekend he gave a shout-out to Staples — coincidentally, his alma mater.  Dave wrote that he’d just received an email from a Wrecker athlete, following his blog post about the young man.  It was a few simple lines —  “thanks for the nice writeup” — but because that’s so rare these days, Dave thought it was worth a mention.

Within hours, he took the blog post down.

Turns out the athlete received so much grief from his teammates and friends about his polite gesture, he asked Dave to remove the story.

Like Dave Ruden, I’m usually a huge advocate of today’s teenagers.

But also like Dave, all I can do this morning is shake my head.

2 responses to “Thanks, But No Thanks

  1. The Dude Abides

    Who ever said it was easy being a teenager these days?? The peer groups at Staples were a tough breed in the 60’s and I can’t imagine them now. Well, I guess I can now with your entry. High school ain’t easy but who said it was suppose to be? Try the inner city where you are just trying to survive. Fortunately for many here, college is just around the corner with a big piece of humble pie and re-education lurking.

  2. It’s sad. Good manners is the basis for civility. With all the talk of anti-bullying, it’s really hard to bully if you conduct yourself as a well mannered, courteous individual. This young man was doing just that, being well mannered and polite by saying “thank you”. Unfortunately his behavior was seen as aberrant by his friends. So much so that he had to ask for his comment to be removed to get his friends to stop teasing him. We are definitely not there yet. Forgive me for making the connection but the unfortunate incident that happened at Rutgers was as a result of a kid who “likes to play practical jokes”. Most practical jokes are, frankly, mean spirited excuses to be ill mannered. This one was neither a joke nor funny in any way. But similar to the “teasing” this Staples student was getting from his friends. Teasing, joking are only OK when they are good natured and well mannered. Crude, ill mannered behavior is much more likely to hurt someone. One might argue that in this case, at Staples, no one died. It’s really no big deal. But in that case at Rutgers someone did die, and it is a big deal.

    To me it all starts and ends with civility and good manners. To the Staples kid who sent the “thank you” good for you! You did the right thing. It’s just you have a ways to go in teaching your friends and sticking with your original sentiment! You were right! Your friends were wrong! In the future I hope for you that you will find the power of your convictions and your correct actions. We need more people like you! From a little courtesy to saving a life, it’s not that far off.