“06880” reader Carl Swanson is one of those Westporters who notices things.
He sees the yin and ying of life in his home town. He picks apart the hypocrisies and flawed logic of posts on this site.
And he jots down signs that seem particularly misplaced, unenforceable, or just plain weird.
Among his favorites:
- “$219 Fine for Littering” (I-95 connector park/ride lot) Not only does this seem like a pretty stiff penalty — driving while using a hand-held cell phone sets you back only $100 — but it’s such a random number. If there’s a good reason the fine is $219, and not $200, or even $220, let’s hear it.
- “Attendance at this contest is not a license to verbally assault others or to be generally offensive.” (Staples High School gym) Which means it is a license to physically assault others, or to be specifically offensive?
- “Anyone suffering from communicable diseases transmitted by water should not use the hot tub.” (Westport Y) Such people should probably not be out in public, either.
A reader who prefers to remain anonymous has a different pet peeve: the Park-and-Ride lot at Merritt Parkway 42.
“There are always cars for sale in the lot — or an enterprising company leaves a heavily logo-ed car or truck for days on end, promoting their business,” the reader says.
A few years ago, the state put up a sign: “No sale or distribution of goods or services. Violators will be subject to prosecution.”
Here’s how effective that’s been. I count half a dozen “For Sale” signs plastered on the black vehicle in the photo below.
I’ve got a few favorites of my own. For example:
- “Speed limit 5 mph” (Staples High) Hey, I’m all for safety. And as someone who has almost been killed numerous times in the high school lot, I am a huge fan of speed limits. But 5 miles an hour? Have you ever tried to drive that slowly? My speedometer doesn’t even have “5.” It goes directly from 0 to 10.
- “One hour parking — Strictly Enforced. Violators will be towed” (Parking lots all over town) Get real. People park in private lots for days on end. It’s not “strictly enforced,” because there is no one there to enforce it (except Bank of America, right before Christmas). And towing violators? Hah! A tow truck couldn’t get into most lots even if someone called. There are way too many cars there, parking for far longer than an hour.
Got a favorite stupid street sign of your own? Just click “Comments’ at the top or bottom of this post, to share it with the “06880” world.