And The Signs Say…

“06880” reader Carl Swanson is one of those Westporters who notices things.

He sees the yin and ying of life in his home town.  He picks apart the hypocrisies and flawed logic of posts on this site.

And he jots down signs that seem particularly misplaced, unenforceable, or just plain weird.

Among his favorites:

  • “$219 Fine for Littering” (I-95 connector park/ride lot)  Not only does this seem like a pretty stiff penalty — driving while using a hand-held cell phone sets you back only $100 — but it’s such a random number.  If there’s a good reason the fine is $219, and not $200, or even $220, let’s hear it.
  • “Attendance at this contest is not a license to verbally assault others or to be generally offensive.”  (Staples High School gym) Which means it is a license to physically assault others, or to be specifically offensive?
  • “Anyone suffering from communicable diseases transmitted by water should not use the hot tub.”  (Westport Y) Such people should probably not be out in public, either.

A reader who prefers to remain anonymous has a different pet peeve:  the Park-and-Ride lot at Merritt Parkway 42.

“There are always cars for sale in the lot — or an enterprising company leaves a heavily logo-ed car or truck for days on end, promoting their business,” the reader says.

A few years ago, the state put up a sign:  “No sale or distribution of goods or services.  Violators will be subject to prosecution.”

Here’s how effective that’s been.  I count half a dozen “For Sale” signs plastered on the black vehicle in the photo below.

I’ve got a few favorites of my own.  For example:

  • “Speed limit 5 mph” (Staples High) Hey, I’m all for safety.  And as someone who has almost been killed numerous times in the high school lot, I am a huge fan of speed limits.  But 5 miles an hour?  Have you ever tried to drive that slowly?  My speedometer doesn’t even have “5.”  It goes directly from 0 to 10.
  • “One hour parking — Strictly Enforced.  Violators will be towed” (Parking lots all over town) Get real.  People park in private lots for days on end.  It’s not “strictly enforced,” because there is no one there to enforce it (except Bank of America, right before Christmas).  And towing violators?  Hah! A tow truck couldn’t get into most lots even if someone called.  There are way too many cars there, parking for far longer than an hour.

Got a favorite stupid street sign of your own?  Just click “Comments’ at the top or bottom of this post, to share it with the “06880” world.

The Imperial Avenue entrance to Colonial Green. It says "No Trespassing. No Through Traffic. Violators Prosecuted. Strictly Enforced." Of course -- just check the "Police Reports" each week.

10 responses to “And The Signs Say…

  1. Innocent Bystander

    My all time favorites are at Bedford Middle School, where there must be 100 signs in total in the parking lot. Two stand out:




    What the #%*& was someone thinking?

    • That must be in response to the neighbors on North Pasture, many many many yards away. They’re the folks who demanded that Bedford remove the metal rims from the basketball hoops that were used near the parking lot at recess — the noise disturbed the faraway neighbors at 12 noon on weekdays.

  2. Addison Fletcher

    25 MPH sign on North Avenue which is really Post Road II. Nobody goes under 50 on that road.

  3. They finally got rid of the stop sign next to Long Lots school that had no purpose. But the three way stop at the following intersection at Long Lots road is more dangerous than a two stop. Too many stop signs, not that anyone stops at them anyway.

  4. Why do they allow a right turn at a stop light and then have a sign saying you can not do it??? It drives me nuts. Don’t they figure I can see if a car is coming or not? Micro-management at its best.

  5. There is a sign posted at every gas station informing patrons that drinking the gas is dangerous and unhealthy. Some people should not be in the gene pool.

  6. Todd Austin

    The damn signs at Longshore golf course drive me up the wall. “No Mulligan” at the first tee. You are always allowed a mulligan on the first tee. And those continuing signs on the course telling you that you should be at a certain point in such and such a time. You pay the bucks, you keep up with group in front of you so please leave us alone to enjoy the most frustrating game known to mankind!

  7. The warning to “watch your step” as you enter the Westport Public Library is indicative of our particularly tough breed of local librarians.

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