As a writer, I am distressed at the poor quality of spam phishing emails being sent out these days.
Here’s a recent example:
We would like to inform you that we (Cablevision) are currently performing scheduled maintenance and improvement of our email service and as a result of this, have changed our email client and your password will be adjusted. To keep your OPTONLINE account, you must reply to this email immediately and enter your current password here (******).
Failure to do this within 72 hours, would immediately render your email account deactivated from our database. Once again your urgent response to this email is appreciated and We apologize for any inconvenience this would cause you during this period.
Thank You for using Cablevision Mail !
“CABLEVISION IT SUPPORT.”
The grammatical errors are appalling.
- There are several run-ons in the first sentence, as well as an unnecessary use of parentheses.
- The second paragraph includes an improperly placed comma; incorrect tense (it’s “will,” not “would”); garbled syntax (one cannot “render” “deactivation”); another run-on, and a bizarrely placed capital “W” in mid-sentence.
- The third paragraph contains another odd capital letter; a made-up name (there is no “Cablevision Mail”), and an extra space before the unnecessary exclamation point.
- The final line is the most bothersome. Quotation marks should be used only for direct quotes. Unfortunately, such incorrect punctuation is now common.
Advice to spammers phishers: Cablevision has many flaws, but poorly written emails are not among them. “Please don’t insult My intelligence !”
Or else hire me to clean up your grammatical mess.
Picky, picky, picky.
How do you expect phishers to cast their net as widely as they hope if they must waste time with grammar and spell checking? It’s not like we have built-in tools to do that automatically. Or do they?
Dan Woog.
Nailing grammatically incorrect spam-emails.
One megabyte at a time.
Ok, so it may have been phising, but Dan’s message was directed at the proliferation of gramatical errors in internet communications.
Westport led the way in banning plastic bags at retail outlets so let’s see what Westporter’s can do to to improve internet grammar, short of hiring you, Dan, to correct every dereliction.
We could start with Cablevision itself and the traffic and weather reporters. What ever happened to that good old gerund,”inG”?
Tom Appleby reports with gramatical correctness. Should we ask him to help?
Mike Pettee
Thank you, Dan! I thought I was the only one who can’t tolerate the so-called professionals out there who can’t compose a sentence. I’ve offered my services – proofreading and editing (my background is typesetting) – to so many websites, companies that advertise on websites, and writers in general. Hire me too!
Keep up the good work.