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April Fools 3

91 responses to “.

  1. You have done it again! I tapped to see if my neighborhood will change. Well done, Dan. Fran

  2. Yesterday I thought you wouldn’t be able to do an April Fools column this year because your readers were getting too wise. But today I fell for it hook, line and sinker. Good going Dan.

  3. Kerstin Warner Rao

    I clicked. I laughed. Good on ya, Dan!

  4. April Fools! Good one!

  5. Michelle Benner

    Ha! That was excellent! I totally believed you ๐Ÿ™‚

  6. January Stewart

    You got me. Well played, Dan!

  7. Perfect! You got me!

  8. Ha!

  9. Joyce Bottone

    Thank you for making my day!

  10. Joyce Barnhart

    Very good! First one today. Now I know to be alert.

  11. Christine Kurpiel

    You get me every year. You’d think I’d know better by now. Nice one!

  12. Got me too!

  13. Rindy Higgins

    Me, too! Just before clickng, I was wondering how I was going to change all those free address labels that I have gotten through the years….never mind my tax return which was just completed by Ray!

  14. Aini Rockwell

    I really should have known better. Good one Dan!

  15. Well played, well played indeed. Didn’t see it coming, perhaps because you had me all spun up about whether I was going to lose my 06880 like I lost my 227 !

  16. Bobbie Herman

    You did it again!

  17. Megan Acquino Slingo

    I came into your blog this morning…just to see what you had come up with this year! This was a good one!!!

  18. Hedi Lieberman

    Hard to believe it is April 1—thanks for reminding us!!!!!

  19. So good I still can’t believe it’s not true!

  20. marcia K falk

    Perfectly plausible! I got taken ~(

  21. John McCarthy

    Just believable enough, Perfect. Thanks

  22. Got me, Good one. Happy April 1st.

  23. David Stalling

    “USPS director of zip code enhancement” is a nice touch! Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night keeps Dan from the swift completion of a good April Fools joke!

  24. Gloria Gouveia

    Wow, Dan! You have proved Abraham Lincoln wrong. Sometimes you CAN fool all of the people all of the time.

    Happy to be your April Fool.

  25. Armelle daniels

    Totally got me! Happy April’s Fool Dan!

  26. Sally Campbell Palmer

    I’m an April Fool!

  27. Joyce Barnhart

    Gloria – I think that was P.T. Barnum.

  28. Lived on Loren Lane, Bonnie Brook Road, and High Point Road while growing up in Westport. Wanted to see how they’d be split up. The only thing splitting is my sides. Got me again!

    Golly, Westporters, Dan has manage to fake us six years running!

    — April 1, 2013: “Westport Selected for Innovative Traffic Light Project” http://bit.ly/1iayI1d
    — April 1, 2012: “Very Cool House Hunters” (probably better remembered as “Clintons to move from Chappaqua to Westport”) http://bit.ly/1iazmvz
    — April 1, 2011: “Mitchells, Stew Leonard’s, Form Strategic Partnership” http://bit.ly/1iaArU2
    — April 1, 2010: “Westport, Weston Schools In Early Talks on Consolidation” http://bit.ly/1iaANdl
    — April 1, 2009: “Breaking News: Y to Merge Operations” http://bit.ly/1iaBByX

  29. Dan, you are BAD.

  30. Seth Schachter

    Well done………….. I so thought April Fools came and went and thought maybe you were going to start spacing your “April Fools” bits every other year. Nice………… Again I like most took the bait………..

  31. I fell for the Clinton’s rag, I fell for the others, I couldn’t BELIEVE I again fell for this…..You are very clever and naughty…..but what if it really DOES happen?

  32. Damn, Dan, you did it again. I believed. But comments from 2014?

  33. Stephen O'Shea

    Dan, you are good! Too funny.

  34. Jid2001@med.cornell.edu

    Ha! Didn’t see that coming.

  35. Gerry Kuroghlian

    I was totally taken in my friend!!!!!

  36. Bonnie Scott Connolly

    About half-way through I started to suspect. Good one, although I was really looking forward to the video.

  37. Gil Ghitelman

    You got me too, Dan. I guess the Trump organization making a bid for the Westport Inn is also a myth.

  38. William Adler

    Totally got me. Didn’t see it coming. Such events really do happen in Westport, of course, In 1976 Nelson Rockefeller was thinking of running for president and helicoptered onto a private property for a secret meeting of supporters, and I crawled through woods to get a photo for Fairpress. Good one, Dan – very funny !!!

  39. Good one – slipped right into the trap !

  40. Whew!! I fell for it too…well done!

  41. Shirlee Gordon

    You got me!!! Good one.

  42. Lee Scharfstein

    Ditto David P.

  43. Kathie Bennewitz

    You did it again! Good one!!! Haha!

  44. What does it tell us about ourselves that we bought this one??
    Me, too

  45. I was on my way to Westport for a chat! You are a cheeky devil!

  46. Bobbie Herman

    How do you do it, year after year?

  47. Jens Buettner

    Excellent! I only follow your blog since a couple of months and I like what and how you write, so I was kind of disappointed, like: Really? How can he talk against the hairpiece and then slime around a fundraiser.
    Well done! You got me!

  48. Ann Marie Flynn

    Hi Dan,
    You got me before my cup of coffee……wonder if I will be able to drink it because of the smile you put on my face……..wow! Dan, so,well done….thanks.

  49. Jaime Bairaktaris

    I think when we can make April Fools jokes about a presidential candidate, something has gone seriously wrong. Was starting to get nervous reading this

  50. Dan, I thought you were up to something because Trump was here in Monroe last night speaking before the Old Men’s Marching and Chowder Society…

  51. GOT ME!

  52. Ok…too bad. I really wanted to hear something nice come out of your mouth about Mr. Trump…too much to ask for, right? LOL…”hair, not too orange…”LOL

  53. Mary (Cookman) Schmerker Staples 1958

    Got me also! The 2014 comments were a nice touch! Still smiling ………

  54. Nicole Oestreicher

    100% fooled!!! Nice one!!

  55. Great job Dan – and thank God!!

  56. Trumped by Woog! You rascal!

  57. I loved being fooled, and such a great story! Thanks, Dan, and Happy April Fools’ Day to you too.

  58. And I thought the sugar in the salt shaker and the salt in the sugar bowl was a good one! I think you got everybody!

  59. Wow, that was great! I was picturing the event… large hands, nice blonde hair and all ๐Ÿ˜‰

  60. Jeanine Esposito

    Scared the ____ out of me! SO well done, Dan! (Frederic read it to me from his phone this morning before leaving. I’m sure he couldn’t get himself to watch even 30 seconds of Trump so he never clicked and is probably still walking around town shaking his head).

  61. sandra johnson

    Well, You really fooled me, Dan!! You are something else !!! All I can say is Heaven help us all if ” the Donald” is elected! However, unfortunately, I am really upset re this election. I have no idea what to do so plan to vote for “the lesser of the evils” I will say, however, Hillary knows more about foreign policy than any of the rest, AND, today that is important
    Good luck to our country!!

  62. Catherine Burnett

    Hook, line and sinker. You caught me too! Fun. Thanks.

  63. I can’t believe I let it fester in my head for such a long time! Good job. Totally believable!!

  64. I fell hook, line + sinker. Excellent!!

  65. KENDALL GARDINER

    Hook, line and sinker as well.
    Well done, Dan !

  66. I fell for it. Well, until you said his fingers were normal size…

  67. Rose Mary Schmid

    Totally fell for it. Can’t imagine it happening without someone leaking it, though. Hope it never happens!

  68. Sharon Paulsen

    Not as “orange” in person!
    Bhwahahahahaha!

    Hooked, lined, sunk!!

    (and I was REALLY looking forward to that video too).

  69. Is that secret Republican clan located at the top of Compo Parkway? Oooooops, I just clicked on your short video…… You’re a naughty but lovable guy.

  70. Michele Smolen

    MY MOUTH IS STILL OPEN!

  71. David Squires

    Damn Daniel…!!!

  72. Jill Turner Odice

    Very funny…but he is still a very scary dude…

  73. Your fish bucket is full tonight, Dan. I’m another hook, line, and sinker! Thanks for the (eventual) laugh.

  74. Margaret Hart Rynshall

    Yep, me too. And I was so looking forward to asking you about it at the reunion this summer. smh.

  75. Oh My! As I was reading your notice I started to reach for the phone to call my Larchmont realtor . Then decided to see a few comments.
    So glad I jumped to the end & click on to your interview on “The GREAT White Hope” & happily hung up the phone.
    That was a brilliant April Fool Hoax !
    Too bad I saw it so late. You are terrific !

  76. Bobbie Herman

    Actually, I don’t think it’s a bad idea!

  77. Michelle Benner

    Nice one Dan, you get me every year! Happy April ๐Ÿ™‚

  78. Carol Buffinton

    Perfect spoof! So near belieable.
    Thank you Dan!

  79. Mary (Cookman) Schmerker Staples 1958

    You got me also! I was jumping to defend the three car garage tax as we lived in a very modest house but did have a three car garage. Good one.

  80. Audrey Doniger

    O.k…you fooled me with the column…BUT..what really got me were several “comments” by people who are dead..that is until I saw the date of their comments….how about 2014….or am I just a crazy April fool

  81. Robert A. Jacobs

    And how about this bit of “news”
    Town of Westport
    Yesterday at 7:00am ยท
    Westport SUV Ban – Westport’s Board of Selectmen issued an executive order yesterday prohibiting SUVs from Westport roads. The ban, which goes into effect September 1, is intended to clean our air and reduce road wear, while also improving driving and parking experiences in town.
    The executive order follows the ban on plastic bags that went into effect in 2008. “Westport remains on the forefront of environmental awareness and action,” said the statement. “To reduce hardship on residents, they will have five months to trade in their SUVs. Staples students driving Jeep Wranglers and similar gas guzzlers will have until December 1 to trade in their vehicles.”
    It is estimated that 68% of current Westport vehicles are SUVs, notorious for their poor fuel efficiency and excessive carbon emissions. The ban targeting vehicles over 5,000 pounds will include these and other SUVs: Porsche Cayenne, Audi Q7, BMW X5 and X6, Lexus RX350, Maserati Levante, Volvo XC90, Acura MDX, Land Rover Range Rover and Discovery, Mercedes GLE, Lincoln MCX, Infiniti QX60, Cadillac Escalade, Chevrolet Suburban, Ford Explorer and Expedition.
    Westport’s SUV ban will provide ancillary benefits to residents. According to Westport’s Chamber of Commerce, re-striping downtown parking lines to accommodate smaller vehicles will increase parking spaces by 20%. The extra parking will be welcome during the next holiday shopping season, in conjunction with valet parking introduced last year. It is also expected that the railroad parking waitlist will be eliminated as capacity dramatically increases for the smaller vehicles.
    Historical preservationists are in favor of the ban. With no SUVs, there will be less regulatory pressure to widen the 1884 Saugatuck River Bridge aka the William F. Cribari Memorial Bridge.
    The quality of Westport’s roads are slated to improve as the heavy SUVs are banned. The Public Works department estimates savings of $1 million a year which can be used to help our school system weather the state’s fiscal crisis, procure the much-needed Longshore drink cart, replace “malfunction junction” by Daybreak Nursery with a rotary, build exit 43, and support our other Crown Jewels.
    “Westport is quickly becoming one of the five best places to live in the United States. It will now also be the cleanest,” concluded the statement.

    Town of Westport
    Yesterday at 7:00am ยท
    Westport SUV Ban – Westport’s Board of Selectmen issued an executive order yesterday prohibiting SUVs from Westport roads. The ban, which goes into effect September 1, is intended to clean our air and reduce road wear, while also improving driving and parking experiences in town.
    The executive order follows the ban on plastic bags that went into effect in 2008. “Westport remains on the forefront of environmental awareness and action,” said the statement. “To reduce hardship on residents, they will have five months to trade in their SUVs. Staples students driving Jeep Wranglers and similar gas guzzlers will have until December 1 to trade in their vehicles.”
    It is estimated that 68% of current Westport vehicles are SUVs, notorious for their poor fuel efficiency and excessive carbon emissions. The ban targeting vehicles over 5,000 pounds will include these and other SUVs: Porsche Cayenne, Audi Q7, BMW X5 and X6, Lexus RX350, Maserati Levante, Volvo XC90, Acura MDX, Land Rover Range Rover and Discovery, Mercedes GLE, Lincoln MCX, Infiniti QX60, Cadillac Escalade, Chevrolet Suburban, Ford Explorer and Expedition.
    Westport’s SUV ban will provide ancillary benefits to residents. According to Westport’s Chamber of Commerce, re-striping downtown parking lines to accommodate smaller vehicles will increase parking spaces by 20%. The extra parking will be welcome during the next holiday shopping season, in conjunction with valet parking introduced last year. It is also expected that the railroad parking waitlist will be eliminated as capacity dramatically increases for the smaller vehicles.
    Historical preservationists are in favor of the ban. With no SUVs, there will be less regulatory pressure to widen the 1884 Saugatuck River Bridge aka the William F. Cribari Memorial Bridge.
    The quality of Westport’s roads are slated to improve as the heavy SUVs are banned. The Public Works department estimates savings of $1 million a year which can be used to help our school system weather the state’s fiscal crisis, procure the much-needed Longshore drink cart, replace “malfunction junction” by Daybreak Nursery with a rotary, build exit 43, and support our other Crown Jewels.
    “Westport is quickly becoming one of the five best places to live in the United States. It will now also be the cleanest,” concluded the statement.

    • Bobbie Herman

      No Exit 43! 1- It would be in the middle of a developed residential area, and would require the tearing down of many houses. 2- Much of the area is wetlands. 3- It would be a block from my house.

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