“Seat At The Selectman’s Table”: Personalities, Not Policies

At noon yesterday, the 3 first selectman candidates sat on stage at the Westport Library, for a formal debate.

Six hours later, they returned. This time they sat at a table on the Trefz Forum floor — the same level as the audience.

This time they chatted about their lives in Westport, their families, their most difficult conversations and decisions, and their greatest accomplishments as husbands and fathers.

It was all about personalities, not policies.

Plus, each of them brought a dish to share, for dinner.

The event was the first-ever “Seat at the Selectman’s Table.”

Part of the Library’s Common Ground Initiative — which brings people together through careful, constructive dialogue — and organized and moderated by “06880”‘s Dan Woog — it offered a different perspective into the hearts and minds of the 3 men vying for Westport’s top spot.

One member of the large crowd called it “moving, insightful and hopeful.”

It certainly was different.

(Photo/Dan Woog)

Woog’s first question was why each candidate brought the dish they did.

Don O’Day said that his wife Toni is from Italy. He loved her parents’ eggplant parmigiana.

David Rosenwaks brought his favorite meats and cheeses from Gaetano’s (but no pork, as he was raised kosher).

Kevin Christie baked pumpkin bread, which he always enjoyed making with his mother.

From then on, the candidates answered questions picked from a bowl. They included:

What in your life are you most proud of? And least?

O’Day mentioned his family life, including 3 sons and 1 granddaughter. He regretted losing time with them through work, as they grew up.

Rosenwaks had his first child at 39, his second at 41. He spoke about the highs and lows of forging his own path, in finance and then music.

Christie is most proud of where his family is now, but rues not taking enough time to look back and appreciate his life.

What was your most difficult conversation with someone?

For Rosenwaks, it was when his Israeli father asked if Rosenwaks’ wife — who was Presbyterian — would convert to Judaism. She said yes, but “it was hard.”

Christie mentioned how tough it is to fire someone in business. “You’re taking an opportunity and a life away. At times it is necessary, but difficult.”

O’Day agreed with Christie, and recalled the need to take away his father’s car keys — and independence. O’Day framed it in the context of “being around for your grandchildren.”

If you had to live anywhere outside Westport, where would it be?

None of the candidates want to leave. But Christie and O’Day would return to New York City. Rosenwaks might head to France, where he lived while studying (and went to soccer camp as a teenager).

Kevin Christie brought pumpkin bread to share. David Rosenwaks offered meats and chesses from Gaetano’s. (Photo/Catherine Campagnino)

What is Westport’s hidden gem?

For Rosenwaks, it’s Burying Hill Beach. Christie loves watching great sunsets over his garden — though he has little time to enjoy them this fall, while campaigning. O’Day favors Longshore Sailing School, where all 3 of his sons worked while in high school.

Who do you most admire in Westport — not for their accomplishments, but the way they carry themselves?

Christie cited his wife Gina, who not only commutes to New York, but serves as Coleytown PTA president and “helps make my campaign exist.”

O’Day said he could not run without his wife Toni’s support. She goes to all of his events — and tells him to ignore the backlash.

Rosenwaks hailed Miggs Burroughs, the graphic artist and photographer who helps the Arts Advisory Committee, and everyone else, no questions asked.

What is your proudest achievement as a husband and father?

Rosenwaks said it was spending time with his daughters, and supporting his wife during her acting career.

For Christie, it was the decision to step back from his professional career, to have time with his children.

O’Day recalled the day his son came to his office to talk about a personal problem. He added, “After 43 years of marriage, I’m still trying to do better with Toni.”

If you did not pursue the career you did, what path might your life have taken?

At age 10 in Vermont, Christie wanted to be a garbage man. When his family moved to Albany, different opportunities opened up.

O’Day had a summer job at Jones Beach. He thought about restaurant management while in college, but realized how long and difficult those hours are.

Rosenwaks first hoped to be a New York Mets centerfielder. He then wanted to be in music — and had an opportunity with Paul Shaffer – but his father urged him to go into finance.

Don O’Day, with eggplant parmigiana. (Photo/Catherine Campagnino)

Which 4 people — living or dead — would you invite to a dinner party?

O’Day: Robert F. Kennedy (“the father, not the son”), Jesus, Thomas Edison, George Washington.

Rosenwaks: Roberto Clemente, Jim Morrison, Nick Cave, Leonard Cohen.

Christie: His mentor who died in September, his wife and children (“because having dinner together these days is rare”).

What were your discussions with your family about your decision to run? 

Christie’s wife was more excited at the start than he was. His family was very supportive — as they had been when he ran for the Board of Education.

O’Day’s oldest son was “all in.” The middle one thought it was a good idea, but wondered if O’Day really wanted to commit to the work. His youngest son was a “hard no” — but is now the campaign’s social media director. His wife was uncertain, but has become his biggest supporter.

Rosenwaks’ 9-year-old did not want him to win, worrying they would have less time together. His 7-year-old “fashionista” was thrilled; she thought she would get lots of “stuff” if he won. He has taught his children and their friends about the importance of elections.

Who has been the biggest influence on your character?

O’Day’s father — who did not finish college, but raised 6 children — would see someone misbehaving and say, “No class.” O’Day thinks about that whenever he sees someone acting badly.

Rosenwaks’ mother was 24 when he was born. He does not know how she was able to raise him at such a young age, but realized her impact when he won a pair of citizenship awards in elementary school.

Christie’s mother, a teacher, taught him the importance of dong the right thing. She stressed the need to treat others the way you want to be treated.

The final question: What do you most admire about the candidates you are running against?

Rosenwaks cited O’Day’s “even-handedness,” and called Christie “a good listener.”

Christie said that Rosenwaks was “fun to be around, kind and thoughtful.” He admires O’Day’s “dedication,” especially on the Long Lots School Building Committee, and respects the amount of time he dedicates to the town.

O’Day echoed Christie’s mention of Rosenwaks’ “magnetic personality, his ability to pivot, and how his eyes light up when talking about his daughters. He recalled how proud Christie was to introduce O’Day to his son, and concluded, “if you’re a good dad, you are a good person.”

(Catherine Campagnino reported on this event for “06880.” When the video is uploaded to YouTube, “06880” will provide a link.)