Chris O’Dell is a 1995 graduate of Staples High School. He is also head of operations for The O’Dell Group, a design builder of environmentally friendly homes.
And he is the longtime freshman boys soccer coach at Staples. Last week, he learned that his contract would not be renewed. Chris writes:
I have been a part of the Staples boys soccer program for over 30 years. I was a player and captain in the early ’90s for head coach Jeff Lea. I have coached in the program since 2005, first under head coach Dan Woog, most recently under head coach Russell Oost-Lievense.
My business has built many homes, kickboards for the soccer team, sets for Bedford Middle School plays, and sponsored local PAL basketball teams. Dozens of Staples students have interned for me.
Chris O’Dell built this, at Loeffler Field.
My brother, his family and my mother all live in town.
My best friends from high school are still here. They coach youth sports, they are PTA presidents, they open up local restaurants and other businesses, all to make Westport a better place.
I have been to weddings of former players, seen the birth of their children, written job references, and worked in their homes and the homes of their parents.
I was one of the Staples coaches whose contract was non-renewed. I was told the reason was because I was a witness to an event, and did not report it.
The facts and back story of this “incident” are concerning for coaches, but I think it is unproductive for me to discuss them here. I will state with 100% certainty that there was no physical contact. It was over quickly, and resolved.
As a coach (and a parent), I have always preached one main guiding principle that is more important than anything else. When things go wrong, your energy needs to be spent fixing it, not placing blame or focusing on what went wrong.
Chris O’Dell
I tell my players there is one guarantee when they step on the field. Referees are going to make bad calls, teammates and coaches are going to mess up, and bad luck will find you.
I then point out that their reaction will go a long way towards determining their success as a team.
If they spend time yelling at the refs, blaming teammates or sulking about the bad luck that befell them, that means they are not spending time correcting the problem.
In soccer, where one goal is all it takes to decide a game, that decision could be the difference between winning and losing.
I take a similar approach to my business and life. I tell the people I work with, the one thing we know is that things will go wrong. Our first reaction needs to be, how do we work together to fix it, and then learn from that mistake.
It has been disheartening to see this situation evolve with the Staples soccer program that I have loved so much, and given so much to.
It has been painful to watch lines drawn in the sand, and hurtful misinformation lobbed so freely.
Chris O’Dell urges his players on. (Photo/Frances Rowland)
I was at the Board of Education meeting last week, and listened to the player’s speech. I have never coached the player, but I have gotten to know him.
We hung out at the retreat. I encouraged him to bring the team together at his house during the season. He was on the phone with me 4 nights before the anonymous call was made, as he came to me for help navigating his place on the team.
This is a young man filled with the emotions of being a teenager. Those same emotions caused me to make a lot of mistakes when I was his age.
But I don’t think it’s productive to talk here about his role. I think we, as adults, need to discuss our roles and our reactions.
I feel for the player, as I believe it is true that the actions (or more accurately inactions) of the administration have led to much needless suffering for all of us caught in the middle of this. I don’t think any of us want to add to that suffering.
But, and this is important, I also do not want to focus my blame on the administration.
It has been easy for community members to state that a lack of investigation with blurry communication of the results is the problem.
But it’s not so easy to admit that the results of the investigation were not going to solve the underlying problems which led us here.
Those underlying problems derive from the modern structure of youth sports. Our antiquated policies and procedures do not properly address them.
The 2024 Staples boys soccer program: freshman team (front), junior varsity (middle), varsity (rear). (Photo/Mike Beebe)
I think there are some good people involved in the administration who are trying to navigate some difficult situations as best as they can. I think it is important that as we talk about and comment on these issues, we focus on the work that needs to be done.
That is why I think we all need to focus on fixing the problem.
All of our children are watching this situation. We have an opportunity to teach them one of the greatest lessons: conflict resolution.
It is a lesson that is desperately needed for the next generation, to hopefully be able to improve upon our generation’s seeming inability to properly navigate our differences.
I have sat in meetings with some concerned community members who are trying to drive all of us towards creating some processes and policies which will assist our administrators, coaches, parents and players in improving our approach to the current environment for youth sports.
The pursuit of happiness can only be achieved if we are all allowed to make mistakes, and then learn from them.
In this case it is obvious that we, as a community, have not provided enough safeguards for our players or coaches. We need to take this opportunity to be the leading, inspiring town that we always have been.