Jenna Diane is a Westport mother. She facilitates support groups for mothers of children from birth to age 5, receiving early intervention services (Instagram: @uniquelymothering).
Jenna writes:
My son was 18 months old when my husband and I moved to Westport. Thoughts of him attending college ought to have been the last thing on my mind.
But while new moms around me were going on playdates and enjoying baby classes, I was at speech and occupational therapy sessions, hosting birth to 3 providers in my house, and trying to not be consumed with fear over what a “developmental delay” could mean for my toddler.
Like so many mothers of young children who do not present as typically developing or receive an early diagnosis, the vision of what I expected while I was expecting imploded — leaving me in a perpetual state of anxiety over the future.
As someone who was surrounded by people who attended well-known colleges all my life, I unconsciously assumed my child’s path would be similar to my own. But at barely 2 years old, my husband and I were presented with 3 options.
Our child would grow out of his delays. He could end up with a mild learning disability. Or the delays could turn into something more significant.
Would he be college-bound? Only time would tell.
It was a difficult journey processing that my family’s path to and through school could end up being different from all I had ever known. But in a strange twist, it was a gift to see the world through a new lens.
As I encountered mom chatter about all the sports their kids were signing up for or which preschoolers were reading at an early age, all I cared about was whether my son would have meaningful friendships, develop confidence and compassion for others, learn to think for himself, and become independent.
Those who are privileged to live in a town like Westport are well aware of the hyper-competitiveness that lurks beneath the surface, even at the earliest of ages.
Wealthy communities are socialized to see admittance to high-ranking schools as emblematic of higher intelligence, and subsequently a pathway towards a high paying career.
But this cycle foments crushing pressure onto parents and students, and one must wonder at what cost. In a New York Post article, Christopher Rom, CEO of Command Education, stated, “The emphasis on elite and Ivy schools has absolutely gone off the rails.” We all know what he is referring to.
The atrocities of October 7 unearthed another ugly reality about our classist educational system. While elite institutions have long been known as bastions of intellectual and rigorous think tanks, for its renowned research from the créme de la créme professors, and churning out the best and brightest graduates, the aftermath of those attacks shattered such illusions.
The hate-spewing college protests that arose the next day, the disturbing rise in campus antisemitism and harassment of Jewish students, proclamations from professors at places like Cornell and Columbia University praising Hamas’ heinous barbarism, and the disgraceful congressional testimonies of Harvard, Penn and MIT presidents should make everyone question the value of a degree from any of these schools today.
At the very least, it should propel every parent to reevaluate such an investment in future tuition and alumni giving.
Anti-Israel protest at Tulane University.
In a letter I sent to my alma mater a week later, I wrote: “It is disturbing to observe Columbia’s leaders being either weak, ignorant or heartless in turning their backs on a historically vulnerable and traumatized community. What does it say about the education Columbia is providing, the critical thinking skills you’re cultivating, and pursuit of human understanding when you have to shut down your campus due to safety concerns on the heels of the death, torture, rape, and kidnapping of 1,300 innocent civilians? What does it say about the mass numbers of Columbia University students who are unable to distinguish between terrorism and ‘resistance?’”
As a community, I hope we will seize this moment by taking a hard look at our educational goals and aspirations for our children.
I had to do that exercise when I least expected it. But if we take this unexpected moment in history to collectively wrestle with this question, Westport will be better for it.
The recent Newsweek article detailing the pernicious, antisemitic bullying that took place in one of our schools ought to be a wake-up call that we, as parents, must do better.
We have to return to the basics. Prioritize kindness, curiosity, tolerance, a growth mindset, and courage. Teach them more than ever before how to stand up to bullies and counter bias in all its forms, including antisemitism. Help them learn how to debate, search for nuance and understanding, but also to be forceful in distinguishing and calling out the difference between good and evil.
An Ivy League degree might get Westport students an impressive stamp on their resumé, but it will not produce the next generation of leaders that America and the world desperately needs. It is clear we cannot rely on the current educational system to be leaders on moral clarity. That responsibility falls uniquely and urgently on us.