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Worst. Aunt. Ever.

I seldom reprint news stories from the local media. If it’s already out there, I figure folks will find it.

But this story from the Westport Newshas to be seen — by everyone — to be believed.


In 2011, a boy named Sean turned 8 years old. He had a birthday party at his Westport home.

Riding his new bike, he spotted his aunt. He dropped it and ran to her, joyfully screaming, “Auntie Jen! Auntie Jen!”

“All of a sudden he was there in the air. I had to catch him, and we tumbled onto the ground,” his aunt — Jennifer Connell, a New York human resources manager — recalls.

“I remember him shouting ‘Auntie Jen, I love you,’ and there he was flying at me.”

This is NOT Sean and his aunt, Jennifer Connell.

The reason her recollections are relevant, 4 years later, is that Connell is suing her nephew. She says that his “unreasonable” exuberance caused her to break her wrist. She is seeking $127,000 in damages from him. The case is being heard by a 6-person Superior Court jury in Bridgeport. He is the lone defendant.

She did not say anything at the time, she says, because “it was his birthday party and I didn’t want to upset him.”

Yet that broken wrist still haunts her.

“I live in Manhattan in a 3rd-floor walk-up, so it has been very difficult,” she said in court. “And we all know how crowded it is in Manhattan.”

But wait! There’s more!

Recently, she attended a party. “It was difficult to hold my hors d’oeuvre plate,” she told the jurors.

The Westport News story did not say if her voice broke as she described the horrors of her current, plate-holding life.

*Not The Onion.

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