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Not So Fast, Bus-ter

Of all the useless signs in Westport, the uselessest is “School Bus Stop Ahead.”

Of course there’s a school bus stop ahead! In this town, there is ALWAYS a school bus stop ahead.

There is one here, here, herehereherehere and here.  I have seen buses actually go into children’s homes to pick them up, stopping twice in one room if there are bunk beds.

School bus officials measure distances using micrometers.  They then hire consultants to see how many more stops they can fit into each route.

Perhaps I exaggerate.  Occasionally a rogue bus travels three full Smart car lengths, allowing drivers behind to zoom up to old-person-hauling-boulders speed, before stopping once again.  This time for a ghost rider who never gets on (or, in the afternoon, off).

Which reminds me of a very important bus company rule:  Whenever you are behind a school bus, it is not allowed to turn in a direction you do not intend to go.  You must follow it — v-e-r-y, v-e-r-y s-l-o-w-l-y — everywhere, including back to the bus ranch behind Westport Center Mobil on the Post Road.  Where you will wait in a spectacularly long line, never moving until your child enters the next grade.

Because there are definitely many School Buses Stopped Ahead.

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