Awesome news: Darryl Strawberry is coming to town!
He’ll be here tomorrow, from 12 to 2 p.m. at Legends of the Game. For a mere $40 to $50 (inscriptions just $10 extra!), lucky Westporters can snag an autograph from the popular serial cocaine-using, rehab clinic-leaving, auto accident while driving under the influence of painkiller-causing, teammate-punching, chronic oversleeping and team meeting-missing, child support-avoiding, tax-cheating, hangover and amphetamine-wired-playing, house arrest and parole requirement-violating, sex from undercover policewoman posing as prostitute-soliciting, talent-squandering and oft-suspended former baseball player.
Or, parents: If you want your kid to meet a real hero, play catch with him or her in your own backyard.