Mon dieu!

While that’s not the extent of my French ability, it’s close.

It’s all ALM’s fault.

If you didn’t go to school in the 1960s, you missed out didn’t miss anything. ALM was a language instruction method rooted in rote repetition. Wikipedia says it was “discredited as a teaching methodology in 1970,” but those of us who suffered through it then (and after) in Westport have it seared in our brains.

“Où est Sylvie? A la piscine.”

“La neige est belle aujourd-hui.”

And something about mounting a balcony. Plus, of course, Monsieur et Madame Thibault.

Other victims students from that era have similar ridiculous and basically useless sentences embedded in our memories, crowding out anything remotely resembling vocabulary, grammar or the rest of the French language.

Which is not to say that learning French at Long Lots Junior High School was not memorable.

My 8th grade teacher was Carmen Delgado. A large, imposing and very loud woman, she was — as her name implies — not French, French-Canadian or even Cajun, but rather Puerto Rican.

Louis Pasteur, a French scientist who gained fame for inventing a cure for rabbis.

English was probably her 3rd language, which is why she said such things as “Louis Pasteur invented a cure for rabbis.”

At least that is understandable. What were 13-year-olds to make of “Daniel, what is it you are staring at? The moon of Valencia?”

I have obviously remembered at least as much English from Mademoiselle Delgado as I have French.

Also cemented into my cerebrum is a play we produced, “Astérix et Cléopâtre.” Based on what Mademoiselle assured us were very popular French cartoon figures, it probably broke every licensing law in the books. How she had the cojones to charge admission — it was only $1, but back then that was real francs — to watch us mangle the French language is beyond me. Yet that was part of Mademoiselle’s charm.

As it turns out, I have not had many opportunities to show off my lack of French. I have traveled to 5 continents, and over 3 dozen countries, but only one of them was French-speaking. (It was France, of all places). It did not snow there, and I did not need to know that Sylvie was at the pool, but I managed to eat, drink and find the bathroom (salle de bain).

I even was able — thanks to Monsieur et Madame Thibault — to know which door to use.

The snow is beautiful today. Is that Monsieur Thibault on his bicyclette?

Leslye Headland

Leslye Headland — a Class of 1999 alum — caught the eye of Deadline Hollywood. The entertainment blog gave a shout-out to the “Sundance Lucky 13“: a baker’s dozen of actors and directors earning “new or renewed buzz” at the famed film festival.

Writer Brian Brooks said of the writer/director of “Bachelorette“:

Her plays have caused a stir Off-Broadway, all based on the Seven Deadly Sins. She kicked them off with “Cinephilia” (lust), followed by “Bachelorette” (gluttony) now morphed into the film starring Kirsten Dunst, Isla Fisher, and Lizzy Caplan which debuted at Sundance Monday. Her next play, “Assistance” (greed) is set to open in New York soon. Her seven deadly may all make it to the screen.

Congratulations, Leslye, on your theatrical successes. Though it seems you’re also describing the current crop of candidates for the Republican presidential nomination.

She has no idea what she’ll do with herself now. She can’t play golf, read or travel.

Lola is a police dog.

Lola, ready for anything.

She joined the force 11 years ago. A Fairfield family had bought the German shepherd as a pet, but soon realized she was more suited to work. They offered her to the Westport cops, who found her a far better police dog than the one they had.

“She wasn’t a pet. She was very focused,” says Fotios Koskinas, her first handler. (Current police chief Dale Call was also a handler.)

“She’s very achievement-oriented and self-motivated. She loves to accomplish things.”

Among Lola’s many tasks: narcotics detection, tracking criminals and missing persons, evidence recovery, building searches, even protecting officers. (“She’s trained to bite,” notes her most recent handler, Officer Marc Heinmiller.)

Once, she sniffed out 4.7 pounds of marijuana at a motor vehicle stop. She also located a potential suicide victim who had jumped into Fairfield’s Lake Mohegan.

Sometimes, her mere presence was enough to apprehend a perp. “I’ve had drugs handed over to me, and people surrender, just based on her barking,” Heinmiller says. “One guy came running out of the woods as soon as he heard her.”

Lola (with Marc Heinmiller), at work. (Photo/westportct.gov)

For nearly 5 years, Lola went home every night with Koskinas. When he was promoted, Heinmiller spent 3 months getting certified as a handler, then took over.

“She’s definitely a unique dog,” he says. “She knows the difference between criminals and kids — she was always around them with the DARE program — and the difference between work time and home time. She’d protect the squad car and me, but at home we’d play fetch like any other dog.”

With Lola’s retirement, the big challenge now is finding a German shepherd “with the same talent and drive,” Koskinas says. “She’ll be very hard to replace.”

Lola has been retired for just over a week. When Heinmiller heads off to work, she cries. “She’s living the good life,” he says. “But she’s not too happy about it.”

Hopefully, though, “she’ll enjoy being a lazy pet. She’s healthy enough.”

And she’s certainly earned her retirement pay: biscuits and bones.

His 1st reaction was to fight back.

His 2nd was to figure out how.

His 3rd was to apply what he’d learned: that movement like exercise and dance can slow the progression of that torturous disease.

Last night at the Saugatuck Rowing Club, Paul — 88 years young — was the star attraction. A video highlighting his avid, ongoing work was shown. It serves 2 purposes: educating Parkinson’s patients about the benefits of exercise, and raising funds for a foundation Paul started.

Paul Green, hard at work at the Saugatuck Rowing Club.

The non-profit is called Nevah Surrendah to Parkinson’s. The name honors Paul’s always-optimistic attitude — and pays homage to his hero Winston Churchill’s legendary exhortation. (And his accent. Paul also pronounces it “nevah surrendah” — he’s from Boston.)

The site was perfect. Rowing is one of the many activities that keeps Paul’s Parkinson’s in check. The Saugatuck club has been his home away from his Old Mill home for years.

The rowing community is a close and very friendly one. Paul is one of its true idols — and a real favorite. (Particularly with the ladies.)

Last summer, the Saugatuck Rowing Club was the site of another tribute to Paul, and his Nevah Surrendah foundation. Scenes from that event — and a July dance-and-exercise session at the Senior Center — have been incorporated into the compelling  video that premiered last night.

Paul Green, keeping active in the boathouse he loves.

The video begins with scenes of reggae artist Mystic Bowie and Zumba instructor Eddie Calle leading at the Senior Center. The music is infectious; the smiles are heartfelt, and the scenes of older men and women — some with caretakers, others with grandchildren — moving slowly but rhythmically to the sounds of ska are inspiring.

Paul hopes that the video will show others with Parkinson’s — or any movement disorder — how to exercise for improved balance, a positive attitude and a healthy lifestyle.

Interviews with Paul’s neurologist, Dr. Amy Knoor; his physical therapist, Tara Maroney and his chiropractor Dr. Joshua Lander prove that Paul has not only nevah surrendahed — he’s thrived.

And as he’s done for nearly 2 decades, he’s helping others thrive.

“Paul is such an inspiration,” one of the rowers interviewed on the video says. “We think we’re working hard. Then we see him out on the water — with such a smile on his face!”

The same smile he wore all last night, as he greeted and danced his way through a throng of family members, friends and fans.

(Click here for more information on the Nevah Surrendah foundation — and to view the Paul Green video.)

Paul Green and his son Peter.

First selectman Gordon Joseloff said:

“The suicide of the man accused in the Westport murder is a tragedy for all concerned.

Andrew R. Levene

“Not only has the suspect taken the life of a beloved Westport resident and caused immeasurable pain to the Zeevi family and friends here, he has now inflicted the same pain on his own family, also innocents in this tragedy. It is a cowardly confirmation of his guilt.

“The death of the accused murder suspect by his own hands will not diminish the extraordinary efforts demonstrated by Westport police, state and federal authorities, and Spanish police in tracking him down.

“Hours and hours of police work culminating in the arrest should serve as a warning to anyone thinking of committing a similar heinous crime that they will be caught – no matter how difficult and distant the trail.”

The new restaurant in the old Federal-style Sherwood House on Church Lane across from the Y will be “a step above” McHugh’s Southport cafe, the Staples grad says. (He also owns the Little Pub in Ridgefield.)

The Spotted Horse's new fence and gas lamps, looking east with Christ & Holy Trinity Church in the background.

As workers installed gas lamps today — and put the finishing touches on a handsome, low white fence — Kevin gave a quick tour of the interior.

He pointed with pride to Colonial elements that remain in place or have been restored, as well as the exposed rustic beams.

But a great horseshoe-shaped bar is taking shape too. Hey, it’s the Spotted Horse, right?

People say they feel a “2012 version of Tavern on Main” vibe. It will be “rustic, with a contemporary equestrian theme,” Kevin says.

It will also have — at least at the start — the imprint of Pedro Garzon. The former owner of Manolo — almost next door — will open the restaurant as a consultant.

And the Spotted Horse will have a Continental menu, with no dish over $22.95.

The opening is scheduled for mid-March.

Exposed beams and restored elements highlight the restaurant's interior.

Those were the days!

Well, yeah. In many ways they were — especially around here. We had a real-live Main Street, with actual grocery stores, hardware stores, and merchants who knew your name. Kids romped in the woods free from parental worries.

And Westport was growing rapidly. Every day, it seemed, another family moved in. Many were arts-types: novelists, TV writers, playwrights, admen. They were drawn by the town’s reputations as an “artists’ colony” — and as each one arrived, more followed.

Starting this Sunday (January 29), you can revisit those days. The Westport Historical Society presents 2 exhibits looking back on that golden/scary era.

“Next Stop: Westport, The Inspiration for 1950′s TV & Film Writers” takes its title from “A Stop at Willoughby,” one of “Twilight Zone”‘s most memorable episodes. In it, an ad executive on his way home to suburban Westport repeatedly finds himself in a pastoral town called Willoughby — in 1888.

Westport’s role in “The Twilight Zone” was no coincidence. Rod Serling wrote the episode when he lived in Westport.

Fellow residents included novelist Max Shulman, whose Rally ‘Round the Flag, Boys! satirized life in a suburban town when the Army selects it for a missile base. (Which actually happened here; the subsequent film led Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward to move to Westport.)

It was quite a time. There were so many creative types, says Linda Gramatky Smith — the daughter of “Little Toot” creator Hardie Gramatky — that there were regular writer-vs.-artist basketball and softball games.

The Historical Society exhibit features all that, and more — like Sloan Wilson’s novel The Man in the Gray Flannel Suit, which was set here (the subsequent movie, starring Gregory Peck, was filmed here), and the final year of “I Love Lucy,” when the Ricardos and Mertzes move to town.

Video of a different kind will be shown at the WHS too. “The Cold War in Our Backyard” — a fascinating, chilling (and at times laughable) film compilation by Lisa Seidenberg, including everything from instructions on removing radiation from food to the still-frightening “Twilight Zone” episode on barbarism in a fallout shelter — will play in a continuous loop. (You can also click here to see it.)

Nearby, images and artifacts will recreate the fears that filled that “golden” era.

“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times,” Charles Dickens wrote.

He didn’t live in Westport.

But so many other famous writers did. Starting Sunday, the Westport Historical Society shares their stories with the world.

(The exhibit’s opening reception is this Sunday, January 29, 3-5 p.m. Click here for more information, or call 203-222-1424.)

Some times though, the P&Z deals with lesser issues that — in the end — are just as important.

Like signs.

Right now, elected officials are discussing regulations regarding free-standing business signs. You know — the ones advertising Michele’s pie tastings, or 20% off a pedicure in honor of Martin Luther King Day. (I’m making that up. I think).

Signs like these may be legalized -- though in smaller, more "homemade" form -- by the P&Z.

Rules — they must be small, hand-written on erasable boards or chalkboards, placed in an unobstructing spot or hung on the building, stuff like that — go into effect February 17.

For Saugatuck and the downtown area only.

Talks are underway to extend the regulations to the entire commercial district of Westport — up and down the Post Road.

Right now, those signs are illegal. The P&Z wants to bring order to the process — allowing merchants to advertise in a friendly, local way, without letting large, garish signs sprout willy-nilly.

But what about businesses outside the zone? Christie’s needs signs to draw attention to its Sunday farmers’ market. Daybreak Nursery announces items like firewood and holiday wreaths that way. Positano could highlight daily specials.

And what about Wakeman Town Farm, which could use signs to publicize upcoming workshops and its Community Supported Agriculture program?

What, then, about lawyers, chiropractors, marketing consultants — anyone who operates a home business outside of current business zones? Could they set up small, hand-written, free-standing signs too?

Right now the P&Z has no formal requests from any of those businesses. If there are, they will be addressed.

Signs are not a big deal like office buildings or movie theaters. But we do notice them; they do affect our quality of life. Just think of all the political signs we see for months leading up to elections, or the ones announcing upcoming concerts, road races and charity events that cover the little gardens at road intersections.

“06880″ invites comments on this sign issue. Please be civil — and try to stay on topic.

All deserve thanks from grateful Westporters.

But one organization rates an extra-special thank-you: our very own Westport Police Department.

The detectives — and many other members of the force — worked countless hours on this case. They threw themselves into it the moment the shooting occurred. They kept at it, straight through for over a month.

They did it with a relatively new chief, and several other newly promoted leaders. They did it while several other big events demanded their attention. And they did it during the always-stressful Christmas and New Year’s season.

It’s easy to complain about anything and everything. In Westport, pointing fingers is almost an official sport.

But today is a day for all of us, together, to give a full-throated, heartfelt “thank you” to every man and woman serving us every day, on our superb, thorough, and very professional Westport Police Department.

United States Attorney David B. Fein, Westport Police Chief Dale E. Call, Colonel Danny R. Stebbins of the Connecticut State Police, Kimberly K. Mertz, Special Agent in Charge of the Federal Bureau of Investigation and United States Marshal Joseph P. Faughnan today announced that ANDREW ROBERT LEVENE, also known as “Robert Thomas,” 41, was arrested yesterday in Spain on federal murder, robbery and firearm charges.

Kuti Zeevi (Photo courtesy of WestportNow.com)

According to a federal criminal complaint filed in the District of Connecticut, it is alleged that on the evening of December 8, 2011,  LEVENE met with the owner of YZ Manufacturers, LLC, (“Y.Z. Jewelers”) in Westport, Conn., pretending he was going to complete the purchase of several large diamonds he had arranged to buy earlier that month.  Instead, LEVENE shot and killed the owner of Y.Z. Jewelers, shot and wounded the owner’s associate, stole approximately $300,000 in diamonds, and later fled the United States to Europe.

“I want to commend the Westport Police, Connecticut State Police, FBI, U.S. Marshals Service, and law enforcement agencies in Pennsylvania, New York and Spain for their expert, coordinated investigation that has led to the apprehension of this defendant,” stated U.S. Attorney Fein.

“We are proud of the efforts of law enforcement officials on the local, state, federal and international level who all contributed to the investigation and apprehension of this suspect,” stated Westport Police Chief Call.  “We hope that it brings some peace of mind to the victims’ families.”

According to court documents, it is alleged that in early December 2011, LEVENE contacted the owner of Y.Z. Jewelers, a diamond dealership located at 431 Post Road East in Westport, and asked the owner to locate several diamonds that were between two and three karats in size and valued between $45,000 and $75,000.  On the evening of December 7, 2011, the owner of Y.Z. Jewelers and an associate met LEVENE at the dealership.  LEVENE examined the diamonds but told the owner he would have to “sleep on it.”

It is further alleged that, on the morning of December 8, 2011, the owner of Y.Z. Jewelers called his associate to inform him that he had scheduled a meeting with LEVENE for later that evening and asked his associate to bring to Westport the diamonds previously viewed, as well as additional diamonds.  When the associate arrived at the dealership that evening, the owner and LEVENE were already in the store.  The owner then showed LEVENE six diamonds with a total value of approximately $300,000.  After looking at the diamonds and conversing for several minutes, LEVENE took out a gun and shot the owner and his associate.  LEVENE then took the diamonds and let himself out of the store.

After LEVENE left the store, the associate placed a 9-1-1 emergency call.  The owner of Y.Z. Jewelers was transported to Norwalk Hospital where he was pronounced dead.  His associate also was transported to Norwalk Hospital for treatment.

On December 11, 2011, LEVENE allegedly flew from Philadelphia to Amsterdam, The Netherlands.

LEVENE was arrested on January 23 by Spanish National Police.

The criminal complaint charges LEVENE with one count of interference with commerce through robbery, one count of federal murder, one count of attempted murder, and one count of causing death through the use of a firearm.

U.S. Attorney Fein stressed that a complaint is only a charge and is not evidence of guilt. Charges are only allegations, and the defendant is presumed innocent unless and until proven guilty beyond a reasonable doubt.

This case is being investigated by the Westport Police Department, Connecticut State Police Detectives of the Western District Major Crime Squad, the Federal Bureau of Investigation, and the U.S. Marshals Service.  The investigation has been assisted by the State’s Attorney’s Office for the Judicial District of Stamford/Norwalk, the Philadelphia Police Department’s Homicide Unit, the Pennsylvania State Police, the New York Police Department, Interpol Spain and Interpol, United States National Central Bureau in Washington, D.C.

The case is being prosecuted by Assistant United States Attorneys Tracy Lee Dayton and Vanessa Richards.

The CEO of Ford should not drive a BMW. The Secretary of Education should not send his kids to private school.

And the head of the Westport Historical Society should not live in a brand-new McMansion.

Susan Wynkoop does more than just walk the talk. She sprints it.

Since 1990 the new president — she takes over from Dorothy Curran this Sunday (January 29) — has lived in a house built around 1683. It’s not only the oldest house in Westport — it’s the only pre-1700 structure in the entire town.

The Wynkoops' home: 187 Long Lots Road. (Photo by Larry Untermeyer)

Though she’s a native Virginian, Susan is not one of those I-always-wanted-to-live-in-the-past people. As a child, she says, “I visited Williamsburg. But there weren’t a lot of pre-Revolutionary houses where I grew up.”

She worked first for Wachovia, then the FBI. (There’s a connection: While she represented the bank at a recruiting fair, an FBI agent at an adjacent booth convinced her to switch careers.)

Serving in the agency’s New York office, she met her future husband, Morgan (aka “Dutch”). After they were married, he inherited his mother’s home — the oldest structure, at 187 Long Lots Road. He asked Susan if she’d like to live there.

The rest is history (ho ho).

Susan, Katherine and "Dutch" Wynkoop.

Over the years, she’s become passionate about preservation. “It’s hard not to let an antique home get in your blood,” she says.

Two years ago, the Wynkoops embarked on the long process of gaining WHS “local landmark” certification for their home. As a result, she says, “it can never be torn down.”

Voluminous research by the Historical Society’s Bob Weingarten revealed that the house was nearly a century older than previously thought. The dating process included examination of wood beams (possibly from ships sailing to America), and the foundation. Susan has “no idea how it survived all these years.”

Her mother-in-law bought the house in 1971, saying, “It’s stood for hundreds of years. It won’t come down now.” It’s so well built, in fact, there are almost no water leaks into the basement.

The original home consisted of 2 rooms downstairs, 2 above them. More rooms and baths were added in the 1800s, but the house has remained essentially the same. The Wynkoops have done some work — “you could see daylight through a few beams,” Susan says; they’ve modernized the upstairs, and re-insulated — but the outside looks the same.

An upstairs bedroom in the Wynkoop home. (Photo by Larry Untermeyer)

Inside, the exposed chestnut beams and original dining room pine flooring look just as they did in 1683.

“It’s not for everyone,” Susan admits. The ceilings are low, the stairs steep. But she wouldn’t live anywhere else.

“It’s been my home for 22 years — longer than anywhere else,” Susan says. “I find it very warm and welcoming. I can’t imagine a new house, where all the lines are straight and everything is perfectly plumb.”

Her involvement with the Westport Historical Society is, however, relatively recent. She’d always been a member, but not until the landmark designation process did she realize how important the organization is.

She went on the 2010 Holiday House tour, met many interesting people, and was drawn in.

Her job as president will involve fundraising and education — including raising awareness of the importance of historical preservation.

Another challenge will be increasing the Historical Society’s membership. There are many new young families in town. The WHS needs to reach them to grow.

Some live in large new homes — built on the sites of torn-down older ones. Susan Wynkoop — owner and proud resident of a 329-year-old home — will gladly invite them in.

Downstairs in the Wynkoop home. (Photo by Larry Untermeyer)

Sarah Koskoff

Salon, for example, says that although the movie starring Melanie Lynskey and Blythe Danner might be “too subtle (and too similar to several other low-key indie romcoms) to make a big splash,” it features “lovely performances and really builds strength as it goes along.”

That’s not what caught our eye, though. It was this paragraph — one worth reading through to the end:

The problem with “Hello I Must Be Going” is that Sarah Koskoff’s screenplay starts out so modestly: You think it’s just going to be a female early-midlife-crisis movie, or an older-woman/younger-guy love story, and, heck, it is both of those things. But to my taste, as the movie goes along it becomes much richer and funnier than that summary suggests, painting a satirical but sympathetic portrait of upper-crust family life in Westport, Conn., a rather toff and beachy New York suburb.

Note to Salon: “Toff” is a noun, not an adjective. Merriam-Webster calls a toff a “dandy or swell.”

Dictionary.com says a toff is “a stylishly dressed, fashionable person, especially one who is or wants to be considered a member of the upper class.”

And this, verbatim from the always-reliable Urban Dictionary:

Wearer of only Ralph Lauren polo shirts, usualy worn inside with loafers and torn up jeans half down their trousers, with 3day old boxers on underneath

Listen to songs like ‘Roxanne by Sting’ or the Top Gun soundtrack.

As for “beachy”:  well, yeah, we’ll cop to that.

Click below for a YouTube interview with director (and husband of Sarah Koskoff) Todd Louiso:

But Allen Raymond was genuinely surprised yesterday afternoon. The Westport Y told the former board president it’s renaming the entry road to Mahackeno — the future site of the Y itself — “Allen Raymond Lane.”

The announcement — and presentation of an actual road sign — came at a party celebrating the trustee emeritus’ 89th birthday.

Allen Raymond: The man, and his sign. (Photo by Scott Smith)

Celebrants noted that the year 1923 marked 2 very special events: the opening of the Y in downtown Westport, and the birth of Allen Raymond.

“For the past 88 years, these 2 ‘local institutions’ have remained steadfast in their commitment and dedication to our community and its residents,” Y officials said. “Allen truly embodies the heart and soul of Westport and the Family Y.”

The Y is only one of Raymond’s many civic commitments. In the 1950s he was instrumental in the town’s purchase of Longshore, and development as a town park. He’s devoted countless hours months years serving the Library, Westport Historical Society and Earthplace, among many other organizations.

But it was the Y that honored him yesterday.

Allen Raymond

Rob Reeves — who also knows Raymond through the Green’s Farms Congregational Church and Rotary — credits him with “getting me up to speed quickly” when Reeves took over as the Y’s CEO.

“Allen told me a lot about the history of Westport, and the Y,” Reeves says. “He brought me around, and introduced me to people the Y has been important to. He was such an important connection.”

But despite Raymond’s fondness for (and many links) to history, he is hardly stuck in the past. “He speaks often about how change is good,” Reeves notes. “He’s not afraid of moving forward.”

Renaming Sunny Lane “Allen Raymond Lane” is perfectly good change, Reeves adds.

“Allen has said that when he was a kid, his goal was to live in Westport.

“He not only did that — he also made Westport better in so many ways.

“We’re honored to be able to give something back to him, in some small way, for all he’s done for the Y, and for Westport.”

Click below for a YouTube video: Y chairman Jim Marpe surprising Allen Raymond with the news of his new lane.

A body was discovered on the I-95 Exit 18 entrance ramp.

And every day, it seems, there are automobile accidents everywhere in town.

This morning around 10:30, a westbound driver on the Post Road near Patagonia suddenly veered across the street, slamming into a car parked in front of Restoration Hardware.

In the words of Sgt. Phil Esterhaus:  “Be careful out there.”

Alert “06880″ reader Lisa Shufro sent these photos from downtown:

It’s not just Westport, though. If you Google “yarn bombs” — or check out BuzzFeed, as Lisa did — you’ll see it’s a global phenomenon. The Wall Street bull, city buses, a phone booth near Big Ben — all have been yarn bombed.

“I’m an avid knitter/crocheter, but unfortunately I can’t claim responsibility for these wonderful additions to Westport’s landscape,” Lisa says.

She’d love to know who is responsible — perhaps to trade tips, or simply congratulate her (or him) on a creative project.

As a public service, “06880″ will pass along any information on Westport’s yarn bomber. Anonymity — if requested — is assured.

He’d done fine on the math, he said.  And most of the verbal section was okay.  The writing section, though, was really hard.

Why? I asked.  Was the question difficult?  Did the 25-minute time limit seem too short?

No, he said.  He meant it literally — the writing was hard.  He couldn’t remember the last time he’d actually written something by hand.

And, he said — as puzzled and angry as if he’d been asked to write in Chinese characters — “they made us sign our signature in cursive.”  He’d forgotten how to do that — along with being “pretty unable” to read script — and worried if printing his name would invalidate his score.

Welcome to the 21st century.

Along with losing the ability to read analog watches and non-GPS maps, today’s teenagers have lost the art of handwriting.  They learned their ABCs by typing, not printing, and ever since then it’s been peck peck peck (and now, thumb thumb thumb).

In class today, kids take notes on their laptops and iPads.  They don’t slyly pass notes on crumpled pieces of paper; they text.  Every paper they write is on the computer.  Actual handwriting is as old-fashioned as fountain pens.

Child development experts have noticed the trend.  They worry that youngsters who don’t write by hand miss out on developing fine motor skills, hand-eye coordination, even patience.

Writing by hand takes time — time to think about what you’re writing.  Yammering away on a keyboard is easy.  And if something doesn’t sound right, you just click “delete.”

I am, of course, writing this on a computer.  You should see what I’ve deleted already — actually, you won’t.  But I could write this by hand if I wanted to.  I even know how to use a fountain pen.

Just call me a 21st-century Renaissance Man.

Even if home is Cuba.

Maite Hernandez was born in Puerto Rico. She and her husband, Roy Marmelo — he’s Portuguese — have lived in Westport for nearly a decade. But her parents are Cuban, and many relatives still live there.

In 1997 Maite and Roy visited Cuba. They traveled the back way — through Mexico.

But recently, over Christmas break, Maite and Roy and their 4 children enjoyed a family reunion in Havana. They went the new way — on a Delta charter from Miami. Other relatives came from Los Angeles and Barcelona.

The Marmelo family, in Cuba.

Americans can now visit Cuba for religious, educational and family reasons. And what better family event than seeing long-lost relatives — and introducing the Marmelo kids Andres, Claudia, Júlia and Lucas to cousins they’ve never met?

Maite’s aunt Lucy has visited Westport before. (She’s allowed out of the country because, with 5 children of her own, she’s not considered a flight risk.) She and her other relatives still in Cuba live better than many in that country, Roy says. They’re well educated, and serve in prestigious professions like medicine and government. They live in Miramar, a Havana suburb filled with embassy homes.

One of Lucy’s daughters is a famous TV soap opera actress. A son, who serves in the Army, accompanied Fidel Castro on a trip to Mexico. He drove the Marmelos around in his van — just as he did Peter Frampton, on the singer’s visit to Cuba.

Lucy’s neighbor is Aleida March — Che Guevara’s widow. Andres Marmelo must be the only Bedford Middle School 8th grader to have met that connection to history.

A 1950's car, in 2012 Cuba.

Cuba is a study in contrasts, Roy says. Propoganda is everywhere — you can’t avoid seeing signs promoting 53 years of revolution — and so are the 1950s-era American cars that Cubans take pride in maintaining. But there are BMWs too.

The Marmelos visited a military museum (where they saw the American-made boat that brought Fidel back home from Mexico), as well as the Hemingway museum with his boat.

But recent changes allow Cubans to buy permits to sell items in front of their homes. They can open up bakeries. A Hernandez cousin says “80 to 90 percent” of citizens no longer believe much of the propoganda.

“In 1997, when we talked about politics we were told to lower our voices,” Roy says. “This time, that didn’t happen.” Cubans were even dancing to Gloria Estefan’s song, “Cuba Libre” (“Free Cuba”).

There is plenty of food — but it’s very expensive. The Hernandez family went all out to show their far-flung relatives a good time. Still, there was plenty of white rice, black beans and pork. “It was a good lesson for the kids,” Roy says.

Andres Marmelo saw plenty of eye-opening sights in Cuba -- including Che Guevara's face on the Ministry of Interior in Havana. The building proclaims "Hasta la victoria siempre" -- "To victory always."

“Everything in Westport is perfect and beautiful,” Maite adds. “Everyone is well dressed. It’s a bubble. You don’t see poverty. Cuba was an eye-opener.”

The sheets are so rough, they scratch. Maite’s relatives requested linens from America and Spain.

It was an eye-opener in other ways too. Cubans with connections have flat screen TVs. They hide illegal satellite dishes in water towers, and watch ESPN.

Maite’s cousin pays someone for internet access. The cousins have Facebook — “but they get on at like 3 a.m., with a dial-up modem,” Maite says.

There is plenty of night life in Havana. Young people go to bars — one is called the Yellow Submarine — and the famous Tropicana night club is still around. It looks good, Roy says.

The Marmelos spent most of their time in and around Havana. Each relative spent time entertaining them. They did take a side trip to Maite’s mother’s old beach house, and drove by Fidel and Raúl Castro’s ranches. (Photos were forbidden.)

The Marmelos are back now in Westport. The kids are sorting out everything they saw and did. Their parents thoroughly enjoyed the family reunion. They’ve got hundreds of photos, and souvenirs like a couple of paintings.

No Cuban cigars, though. Roy says getting them through customs is too much of a hassle.

A toll plaza on the coast celebrates 53 years of revolution.

And then, as soon as New Year’s is over, everything comes down, and we revert back to our old selves all over again?

Betsy Phillips is out to change all that.

Instead of Santa or a creche, she displayed a peace sign on her Compo Beach home.

It’s still up.

Betsy vows to keep it going all year.

That should warm some hearts on a cold winter night.

And provide a nice punctuation point on the 4th of July.

“The Whelk” is the name of the newest restaurant in town. Located across from the old Doc’s on Riverside Avenue, it’s the latest addition to the funky mix of Italian, Mexican, seafood, steak and Mario Batali-type places that are fast making Saugatuck an actual lively place to be.

The owner’s name — Bill Taibe — is familiar. He also owns leFarm, the highly acclaimed Colonial Green restaurant offering fantastic local produce, fish and meats.

Bill Taibe serves up his octopus, squid and fries in beef gravy dish.

His newest venture is similar — much of the food is locally sourced — but very different. The Whelk’s menu spotlights oysters, clams and shrimp.

There’s smoked fish pate, salmon jerky and lobster rolls, along with chilled seafood salads, a tuna burger and blackened fish sandwiches. I recommend the spectacular (and innovative) octopus, squid and fries in beef gravy.

Meat (for dishes like the lamb burger) comes from just across the plaza — the mouth-watering Craft Butchery — while general manager Massimo Tulio (you know him from Fat Cat Pie and  Fountainhead) has designed an extensive list of hand-crafted wines. “All the growers have their hands in making it,” he says proudly. “There’s nothing with chemicals.”

Like the rest of the Saugatuck development, The Whelk is light and airy. There’s a long white marble bar, a couple of large communal tables, then plenty of window tables. There will be outside dining too (whenever).

Last night, the place was filled for a private party. Bill plans a soft opening next week. It should fill quickly, as many new restaurants do.

A whelk

But The Whelk will have staying power. And when spring and summer finally arrive, it and the entire Saugatuck neighborhood — including a new Asian cuisine and sushi bistro around the corner in the former Peter’s Bridge Market — will be rockin’.

They’ll do it 2012-style. But in many other ways, Saugatuck will be just as alive as it was 50 or 100 years ago.

His base was moving to JFK. He and his wife Jeri came east, to look for a new home town (and home).

They looked all around New Jersey and Connecticut, but grew discouraged. “Bias of all kinds was pretty prevalent,” Jeri recalls.

Finally — on their way back to the airport — they read a Holiday magazine story and stopped in Westport.

Holiday Magazine used this photo to illustrate its 1969 story on Fairfield County. And yes, that is a helicopter nose in the left side of the shot. (Photo by Slim Aarons)

The rest is history. The Skinners moved here; became involved in many aspects of town, and over the next 4 decades made quite a mark. (One example: They founded Builders Beyond Borders.)

The other day, Jeri sent me that 1969 magazine article that changed their lives — and ultimately so many others’.

Titled “New York’s Best Address,” it’s a long look into Fairfield County — or, as the subhead says, “The Connecticut county that is fast becoming the bedroom of the affluent New Yorker.”

Author Stephen Birmingham — who wrote over 30 books, many about America’s upper class — began by noting that a Greenwich woman said she lived in Fairfield County “because we’re so rich.”

Birmingham described suburban Fairfield County as “one of the most beautiful residential areas in the country.” He noted the “jagged, rocky coastline with hundreds of tiny coves and harbors, secluded beaches and deep-blue water dotted with diminutive offshore islands and, on any summer weekend, clouds of sailboats.”

Inland, “the land rises in a series of wooded hills threaded by bright streams and narrow, winding roads.”

Birmingham described many towns in detail — without shying away from issues like anti-Semitism at country clubs. Most communities were isolated from each other, he said.

For example, said Westport actress Bette Davis:

Bette Davis

My God, I’d never be invited to a party in Southport — unless they wanted me there as some sort of curiosity. After all, I’m unmarried, a woman who works for a living, and one who makes her money in the entertainment industry. If I lived in Southport I’d never be accepted. Here, of course, it’s quite different.

Westport, Birmingham wrote, “has always been different.”

Early in the 1920′s (it) was discovered by New York writers and artists who began coming there for the summer. Soon they were buying and restoring old farmhouses and barns….

At one point most of the celebrated Algonquin Round Table had houses in Westport. They were joined by people from the theater and films — June Havoc, Eileen Heckart, Ralph Alswang, and David Wayne.

To this rich brew were added infusions from the worlds of radio and, eventually, television and book publishing.

To top it all off, a large contribution has been made to the population from the world of advertising…. This has given Westport the feeling of a bright, brash, assertive — raffish, but very well-heeled — artists’ colony.

Downtown Westport, Birmingham said,

abounds with what are called “fun” shops. There are fun dress shops, men’s shops, gourmet-foods shops, gift shops, ice cream shops, cheese shops, delicatessen and grog shops — and many others.

Collectively the fun shops of Westport exude an aura of franticness. The fun totters on the brink of hysteria, as though the shops were not at all sure how they were going to pay the bills for the fun merchandise. One suspects they are as overextended as, indeed, many of their best customers doubtless are.

Birmingham spent time describing 2 important elements of Fairfield County: zoning and transportation.

Ad executives Tom Wright and Frank Gromer wait at Grand Central for the train home. Just above Gromer's head you can see "Westport & Saugatuck." (Photo by Slim Aarons)

Commuting, he said, “has developed into something of an art form, and each train has a character and conveys a status all its own.” The 6:58 and 7:37 out of Westport were for the “bright, aggressive, ambitious young man on his way up.”

The 9:13 was for “the bankers, the lawyers, the heads of companies whose first engagements of important on any given day occur not much before lunchtime.”

Returning to Westport, Birmingham said, “wives wait tensely at the wheels of cars, motors racing, while their menfolk sprint across the Tarmac.” Of course, certain commuters told their wives they were taking the 7:18, when they actually arrived at 6:03 and spent “the intervening time at the station tavern.”

Birmingham noted that “the celebrated ‘rural character,’ so carefully preserved, does not make a particularly good place to raise teen-age children.”

It has been said — albeit facetiously — that if all the students in Westport’s luxurious Staples High School who have sampled marijuana and other drugs were expelled, there would be no school to run….

On the streets of Westport after school, a group very much resembling Greenwich Village hippies hangs out, looking bored and disaffected. There have been incidents of vandalism and breaking and entering — all laid to teenage boredom.

To ease the problems of isolation, Birmingham said, many parents give their kids their own telephones, cars — and charge accounts with taxi companies.

Bored Westport teenagers -- just like those described in Holiday magazine -- hang out in the library park ("Needle Park") on the corner of Main Street and the Post Road.

But, Birmingham concluded, “for all its shortcomings, Fairfield County is, to those who love it, a very special sort of place. They regard it with a special affection very close to love.”

Reading about that type of place — in 1969 — John and Jeri Skinner were attracted to Westport.

Holiday Magazine is long gone. Westport is no longer an artists’ colony, and in the intervening years the Skinners not only formed B3, but grew it into a huge organization and then gave up its reins.

Some things have not changed. Zoning and transportation remain huge issues; so does teenage boredom.

It’s interesting to look back, and re-read one travel writer’s view of us 43 years ago.

And it’s interesting too to speculate on the chance effect one magazine story had, on one couple from California. They read that piece, were intrigued by our town, moved here — and made it their home for the rest of their lives.

Trey Ellis

His books, articles and blog posts — on fatherhood, politics, the black middle class, race relations, pop culture and much more — make him a familiar face on TV and radio shows, and in the pages of newspapers and magazines, as varied as “All Things Considered,” the New York Times, Playboy, Salon and the Huffington Post.

He wrote the screenplay for the HBO film “The Tuskegee Airmen”;  completed a screenplay for Morgan Freeman, and adapted a novel for Whoopi Goldberg, Danny Glover and Spike Lee.

He’s lived in Italy, France and Japan. He speaks Italian, French, Spanish and Portuguese.

He surfs, snowboards, and does advanced yoga.

And, since September, Trey Ellis has been a Westporter.

Growing up in Hamden, Trey “jumped over Fairfield County” on his forays into New York City. But he says he “always liked the idea of Westport.” When he remarried 2 years ago, his blended family drew him here.

Amanda Lynne Freeman

He wanted room — and good schools — for his own 2 children, and their newest son. His wife, Amanda Lynne Freeman — who writes about parenting and relationships — is getting her Ph.D. in sociology at Boston College. And teaching at John Jay in New York.

Westport was a natural fit.

The fit became even more natural when — looking at rentals — Amanda mentioned to one homeowner that she was reading The Three Weissmans of Westport.

“My daughter wrote it!” replied Shirley Schine. (Trey then learned that her daughter, Cathleen Schine, now lives in Venice, California — where he also spent several happy years.)

So here he is. It’s been a wonderful move, Trey says.

“I like the peace and quiet. It’s amazing to look up at a red-tailed hawk, dodge deer, see a hedgehog — and then be at Columbia in less than an hour.”

He calls Westport “clean, progressive and artistic. There are great schools, and very pleasant people. I’m a booster of Westport.”

That may be because, when he and his wife were searching for rentals, they met so many Westport boosters.

“Everyone seemed to have moved here from the city. They all went so far out of their way to help us. It was almost like they’d gotten a hidden memo, to do whatever they could for us.”

Trey Ellis several years ago, with his daughter Ava and son Chet.

Trey is black. His wife is white. Their child is Chinese. Though the specifics of their family are unusual, he says, “people here are open to everything. We’ve met Brazilians, Indians, you name it. There are a lot of international people, and a lot of people who have lived abroad.”

He worried how quickly his children would adapt. The answer: very quickly.

His 8th grade daughter and 5th grade son have gotten involved in school plays, soccer, dance and tennis. His kindergartener has plenty of play dates.

“There’s a lot of color in the schools,” Trey says. “It’s not necessarily black — but there is an international influence there too.”

And — just like New York — there are many blended families.

Though he has a seemingly endless number of projects — a new play premieres at Ford’s Theater in September, and he’s finishing another movie — he’s already looking ahead.

Among Trey Ellis' works are the books "Bedtime Stories: Adventures in the Land of Single Fatherhood" and "Platitudes: The New Black Aesthetic," and the screenplay for "Tuskegee Airmen."

“The book I want to write is ‘My Gay Dad,’” Trey says. His father came out when Trey was 21, and died soon afterward of AIDS.

The book would combine familiar themes — masculinity, fatherhood, the black experience — with a son’s memories. “He taught me about sweetness and softness,” Trey says with pride.

Though he loves Westport, and his family easily adapted to life here, Trey misses some elements of urban life.

“New York is magical at night,” he says. “And museums — it’s hard to find time to get there. I thought I’d have time to do all that. I’m still looking for the perfect balance. My life revolves around the train schedule now.”

He laughs. “I’ve become the guy who races through Grand Central.”

Still, he’s having a great time. He works on the train. He works in the quiet hours in Westport. His family is happy.

And for Christmas, they got him a kayak and paddleboard.

He went to Kings Highway, Bedford Middle School and Staples. He lifeguarded at Longshore, and became an Eagle Scout with Troop 36.

He veered a bit from the typical path in 11th grade, when he transferred to Phillips Exeter.

After graduating in 2004 Andrew entered Colgate University. As a senior he applied to Army Officers Candidate School. He was commissioned, and was stationed in Georgia, Kentucky, California, Louisiana and Kansas.

And then, last April — in a journey far from typical for a young Westporter — Andrew went to Afghanistan.

1st Lieutenant Andrew Long, in Afghanistan.

“He was always interested in the military,” his mother Sandra explains. “As a kid, he was really into the Civil War.”

She thinks 9/11 influenced him greatly. “He was in 10th grade at the time. From then on, he thought about serving in the military all through college. We were at war, and he wanted to help.”

The Longs were not thrilled.

“We’re not a military family, and that’s not what most Westport kids do,” Sandra says. “We were worried. But he was adamant. So we said ‘We support you. We love you.’”

Now, Sandra says, “We’re so proud of him. He is so brave, dedicated and patriotic.”

In Afghanistan Andrew was posted to a forward operating base 50 miles west of Kandahar.

Part of the famed 1st Infantry Division — “The Big Red One” — Andrew served mostly as a maneuver platoon leader, with a combination of armor and infantry men. They used vehicles, went on foot patrol, and did a number of air assault missions with helicopters. Sometimes, he commanded Afghan soldiers.

“He’s amazingly versatile,” Sandra says proudly.

The Longs did not know much about what he was doing. They spoke every 3 or 4 weeks by phone, for 10 or 15 minutes at a time.

1st Lieutenant Andrew Long (left), with his tank crew.

“He talked about the great poverty in Afghanistan — mud huts, no water or electricity,” she says. “Sometimes things were very quiet. Other times, during missions, it was wild.”

The hardest part, he told his mother, were when members of his unit were killed.

“I’m sure there’s a ton of stuff I don’t know,” she notes.

On Christmas Eve, Andrew called his parents. “I’m coming home,” he said.

1st Lieutenant Andrew Long returns to Ft. Riley.

When he returned to Fort Riley, Kansas earlier this month, it was with a Bronze Star Medal for meritorious service. The Longs were there to greet him.

After spending some leave time in Westport, Andrew will return to Fort Riley.

It won’t be forever. Sandra says he will not make the military his career. He has, however, “certainly appreciated” his service.

Friends and colleagues have “been great,” she adds. “Everyone at Saugatuck Congregational Church wrote cards. Neighbors sent packages. People at work (Pitney Bowes) were very supportive.”

Yet still, something felt strange.

“There are very few military families here,” Sandra says. “When I went out to Kansas, there were lots.

“I think people in Westport don’t know what to think about having a son serving in the military. They’ve been super to us. But in some ways, we’ve also been alone.”

Of course, that could change any second. And when it does, some Westporters will spend plenty of money heating their homes.

Others — not so much.

One difference is energy efficiency — including hard-to-manage and often-overlooked areas like insulation.

Help is at hand. In fact, it has been for a couple of years.

Since March of 2010, over 300 Westporters have taken the “Home Energy Challenge.” That puts us Number One — ahead of 13 other towns — in a contest for the most “Home Energy Solutions” visits and upgrades.

The goal is for 1,000 residents to decrease their energy consumption by 20% by July 2013. It’s a worthy aim — with benefits for your own home, and the environment at large.

Need another incentive to “join the Challenge” — besides the fact that for just $75, you’ll reap hundreds of dollars in savings?

Well, for every home energy upgrade commitment made by the end of February, a blanket will be donated to a family or child in need.

That should warm your heart (and home) too.

(To learn more, and sign up for a Home Energy Solutions visit, click here or call 203-200-0626. Tell ‘em Dan Woog sent you.)

Also, according to a Westport student-parent initiative, it’s “kool” to be kind.

This week, a “Kool To Be Kind Scavenger Hunt” gives parents and children a chance to have fun, learn about Westport and kindness, and bond in the process.

Kool To Be Kind — a year-old project initiated by mothers/professionals Cindy Eigen, Lynne Goldstein, Sarah Green and Melissa Shein — promotes kindness and compassion at an early age by training high school students to act as mentors and role models to elementary schoolers.

It’s being piloted in all 3rd grade classes at Long Lots and Coleytown Elementary Schools. Staples students — trained by K2BK — lead interactive lessons promoting kindness, empathy and the creation of anti-bullying allies.

The children just finished the 2nd of 5 lessons. Now they’re “hunting for kindness.”

Part of a K2BK poster.

They and their high school mentors created posters, which have been posted in 40 stores throughout Westport. A scavenger hunt for the posters starts tomorrow (Monday, January 16), and runs through Sunday (January 22).

Some do more than simply display the posters. For example, Crumbs is creating a K2BK cupcake. Earth Animal made a K2BKanine cookie. Lululemon has designed a K2BK yoga class.

The plan is for parents to help their kids use scavenger hunt cards to find the posters –and then discuss what they’ve found. If a poster says “Ally Power Rules,” a parent might initiate a discussion of the word “ally.” Hopefully, that will reinforce ideas the youngsters got from their K2BK lessons in school.

Once a child locates a poster, he or she will be given a sticker by a store employee. The class that gets the most stickers will earn a prize.

Long Lots 3rd graders (from left) Chelsea Strober, Rachel Varsano, Josh Leon, Jake Motyl and Justin Honig find a K2BK poster.

Nearly 4 dozen Staples students interviewed for spots as K2BK mentors. They thought they’d be teaching children, but they’ve also learned a lot themselves.

“They see their high school world through different lenses now. They seem changed in the process,” the K2BK founders say.

The scavenger hunt may also spread awareness throughout the community. Customers will see the posters hanging in windows or on walls. Owners will hand out K2BK fliers to anyone who asks about them.

“It’s simple,” the K2BK leaders say. “Being empathetic, nice and inclusive is what high school kids think is Kool. Being the opposite is not.

“If 3rd graders get the message, spread it to the rest of their school, and bring it home to their siblings and parents and then out to the community, we are doing our little bit to stop bullying and promote ‘ally power.’”

The founders have one other hope: that the scavenger hunt “will encourage everyone in the community to commit random acts of kindness, and pay it forward as much as possible.”

Kyle Martino and Eva Amurri. (Photo: Jeff Vespa/Wire Images via ESPN Page 2)

The 1999 Staples graduate’s October wedding to actress Eva Amurri –  Susan Sarandon’s daughter — was covered by People Magazine (in a story written by, of all people, Kyle’s classmate Jen Garcia).

Last week, as an ESPN2 analyst covering the Major League Soccer college draft, the former national team player gave a shout-out to Staples soccer. He told a national TV audience how much he enjoyed the camaraderie with his teammates, and hearing the cheers of the large crowds on the Loeffler Field hill.

In between, Kyle served as a cupcake judge.

Last Sunday, the Food Network featured him in an episode of Cupcake Wars. (Never seen the show? Each week 4 of the country’s top bakers face off in  elimination challenges. The sweet prize: $10,000, and the opportunity to showcase their cupcakes at the winning gig.)

In Kyle’s episode, the winner took cupcakes to the Major League Soccer championship game in Los Angeles.

Kyle — one of the league’s most popular players during his career with the Columbus Crew and LA Galaxy (where his teammate was the even more popular David Beckham) — told ESPN Page 2:

I probably ate 5 entire cupcakes. Each cupcake was like a 3-course meal. Hey, if I had stayed off sweets, I probably would still be playing soccer.

I was blessed with a good metabolism. Younger, I was running 8 miles a day and still able to eat a pint of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream. But that was then. These days, I might be the only ex-professional athlete who gets winded going up the stairs.