Unlike most Westporters, though, he could not just run down to Patio.com.

Parks & Rec director Stuart McCarthy gives former Rotary president Irwin Lebish a ride in the new wheelchair.

As Parks & Rec operations supervisor, Dan’s chair was a beach wheelchair — specially adapted for use on sand. It had been a gift form Westport Rotary, but after 7 years of steady use — by disabled visitors, and carrying injured people in emergencies — it was rusted and falling apart.

DeVito called Peter Ferrara, former Westport Rotary president. The organization unanimously agreed to buy a replacement.

That’s just one of many good deeds done by the 88-year-old civic group. A short list of Rotary-funded projects includes the original Compo Beach playground, Levitt Pavilion, interfaith housing and a gazebo at Mahackeno.

A longer list — all the way back to Rotary’s 1st year, 1924 — is fascinating. Anson Leary, club historian from its founding until his death in 1962, wrote:

The playground of Bedford Elementary School was covered with rocks. All our members, augmented by other citizens, spent an entire Saturday (June 7, 1924) with teams, trucks and other heavy equipment clearing the area and making it into a good playground. The project cemented the ties that bound us together.

More projects soon followed. The town needed an ambulance, so Rotary raised the entire price: $3,600.

Then came a junior high fife-and-drum corps, a twilight baseball league, and several Boy Scout troops.

Rotary members built — with their own hands — the first 6 fireplaces at Compo’s South Beach; the swimming pool at Aspetuck’s Girl Scout camp, and the pavilion at Mahackeno.

The Rotary Club even organized Westport’s Chamber of Commerce.

Of course, all that work costs money. This Wednesday (June 6), Rotary sponsors a major golf and tennis fundraiser, at Longshore. To sign up for golf, call Tony Riggio (203-227-6877). For tennis, call Elaine Whitney (203-221-7335).

If you just want lunch, that’s fine too. Come to the tent outside the Inn at Longshore at noon. Everyone is welcome.

And everyone using the new beach wheelchair will soon thank Westport Rotary — and you.

With each resident allowed 2 parking permits — and 2 more for guests — plus other Westport permit holders hoping to use the increasingly popular beach, the lot is often full.

That makes it all the more important for everyone to park carefully.

Not like last weekend:

(Photo/Fred Cantor)

How about writing writing choral music for the Conservative Synagogue?

That’s Jake Landau’s latest feat.

Of course, much more lies ahead. Jake is only a Staples High School junior.

Jake Landau

A multi-talented junior, that’s for sure. A student at the Juilliard School pre-college program, a member of the New York Youth Symphony and a national PTA “Reflections” award winner, he’s been playing piano — and composing — almost all his young life.

Classical music is his favorite. But Jake is equally comfortable writing opera, musical theater, soundtracks — and now, a piece for his synagogue.

His work will be performed tomorrow (Sunday, June 3, 7 p.m.) as part of the “On a Chai Note: A Musical Celebration of Israel” concert. Accompanying Jake on piano are 2 other nationally recognized young musicians (and temple members): cellist Danielle Merlis and violinist Sam Weiser.

Amazingly, this is Jake’s 2nd world premiere this spring. Last month, the New York Philharmonic performed a piece he wrote for their School Day concert. That one, he says, was “adventurous, aggressive and knotty.” Tomorrow’s piece is “simpler.” A synagogue is not a concert hall.

Working from a text, Jake composed this work for the “up-in-the-stratosphere soprano” cantor.

Jake Landau, rehearsing at the synagogue’s piano. (Photo/Marcy Juran)

He calls the process “very rewarding. It’s not just that it will be performed by my choir. Most of my pieces are done in high-pressure concert halls, and everyone is rushed for time. This is a much more personal environment.”

Conservative Synagogue Chorale member Marcy Juran is “blown away” by Jake’s talent.

“He understands how to create a beautiful piece of music,” she says. “But the way he explains his work to the choir — how it’s constructed, how he envisions it to sound, how his music matches the liturgical text — is unparalleled.

“It reminds me of hearing Leonard Bernstein explain music — but Jake is only 16! It is a joy to listen to play his piece on the piano, direct us, and understand from him what this is all about.

Still a teenager, Jake understands the long tradition he’s part of. “Music is a craft that’s existed almost as long as man,” he notes. “Music is practical, emotive and evocative. Music is everywhere. I’m proud to help continue that legacy.”

Danielle Merlis and Sam Weiser will also perform at the Conservative Synagogue tomorrow. (Photo/Marcy Juran)

Though Jake also studies piano at Juilliard, his playing is secondary to  composing. In fact, he says, “some of the pieces I write are too difficult for me to play. Someone plays my stuff for me.”

He hopes to make a career in music — writing film scores, operas, commercial soundtracks, “whatever.”

So — after spending the past 2 summers at Interlochen and Tanglewood — this year Jake will stay home. He’ll write orchestral and chamber pieces for his conservatory and music school applications.

Oh, yeah. His college essay, too.

(“On a Chai Note: A Musical Celebration of Israel” free concert takes place Sunday, June 3, 7 p.m. at The Conservative Synagogue, 30 Hillspoint Rd. The program also includes The Western Wind, a renowned a cappella sextet, and Jewish choral singers from throughout Fairfield County. For more information, click here.)

TAG — Staples’ Teen Awareness Group — is not stupid. Members are students; they know their peers, and they know how to have a good time themselves.

But they want everyone to be around for years to come. And — more directly–  they want them at graduation.

To ensure that happens, TAG produced a video. Using real Westporters — ranging from high school students to Staples grads and parents — they describe what drunk driving did to friends and relatives.

And themselves.

The video is not easy to watch.

But neither are the results of drunk driving accidents.

That’s the menu, now that Aux Delices has replaced Arcudi’s — the family restaurant that twice occupied the Post Road building next to Carvel’s.

This is the 4th Aux Delices in Fairfield County. Husband-and-wife owners Gregory Addonizio and Debra Ponzek opened the first 3 in Riverside, downtown Greenwich and Darien.

Like those, this one features specialty imported and local foods, freshly baked desserts and full-service catering.

It’s more like Chef’s Table — a previous tenant — than Arcudi’s, which both preceded and followed it.

Mangia! Bon appétit!

Well, this news strikes closer to home.

There’s a good possibility the North Avenue bridge over the Merritt Parkway will also need work. Patching, waterproofing, possible full deck repair — all are on tap for the 72-year-old art deco span.

The North Avenue Merritt Parkway bridge.

Because it’s not over water, there are fewer environmental issues — so it will probably come up for work sooner than Route 57.

North Avenue is a major Westport thoroughfare, carrying 2300 vehicles a day. More importantly, it’s an important accessway to 4 schools: Staples, 2 middle schools and Coleytown El.

Construction could take 8 months. Detours would last for 4 of them.

Westporters will have to find another way to get to school.

And Cobb’s Mill.

A view from the bridge. (Photo/Jesse Neider, CT Post)

Cliff Montagna wrote “06880.” Calmly but none-too-pleasedly, he stated his case.

Almost instantly, the police and Planning and Zoning went to work. Today, Cliff emailed this:

Just wanted to post an update on the very improved situation here on Crescent Road.

I understand Police Chief Dale Call had a discussion with the Terrain management team, and many of our safety concerns have been addressed. Big thanks to Chief Call for your help!

Our school bus can now get down Crescent Road. There is no more parking up and down the road or in our driveways.

I do think we should consider petitioning the P&Z to activate the 47 reserve parking spaces for this site.  There are 6 or 7 parking spots around back that are filled in with storage items and unable to be used, and the Terrain staff employs a valet parking system as the existing parking is just not adequate.  It’s a thought.

Thanks again, Dan.

Well, I’d like to take credit. But the praise goes to our police department, the folks at P&Z, and Terrain’s management.

Hey, Washington: Are you listening? This is the way government and the private sector are supposed to work.

It’s called “common sense.” And “cooperation.”

Calm reigns at Terrain.

People. Beaches. Traffic.

But for nearly 4 years we had something LA did not: a ban on plastic bags.

Last week, the Los Angeles City Council voted 13-1 to phase out plastic bags at supermarkets over the next 16 months. It’s the largest US city to do so.

The LA ban differs somewhat from Westport’s. Theirs covers supermarkets only; our, all retail stores.

And Los Angeles will charge customers 10 cents for each paper bag. Here, they’re free.

But while the California vote seems almost archaic to us now, it’s instructive to look back at 2008. The RTM vote made Westport the 1st town in Connecticut — and one of the few in the country — with such an ordinance.

Many Westporters were not pleased. What about garbage bags, lawn and leaf bags, UPS bags, even sandwich bags? some smirked. (Well, they should be banned too, proponents countered.)

Paper bags are even worse for the environment than plastic! one side said.

Billy Ray Cyrus finds a good use for plastic bags.

There were arguments that better recycling of plastic bags would serve the same purpose, with less hassle. That plastic is not the real problem — littering is. Even that plastic bags are necessary to pick up dog poop.

Is this really an ordinance that does good? opponents asked. Or does it just feel good?

I have no hard evidence, but it seems many Westporters regularly tote cloth bags into supermarkets. Certainly, lots of local businesses and non-profits make them available, as part of their marketing and branding efforts.

But the bottom line is this: Despite all the naysayers, we adapted quickly. These days, getting plastic bags at stores outside Westport is almost as surprising as seeing smokers.

Soon, nearly 4 million Angelenos will realize what 25,000 Westporters have known for years: Like it or loath it, the plastic bag ban works.

Maybe Weston’s telegraph operator was off for the weekend.

Here are a few more details, from an engineer who appears to know something:

“Bridge No. 01023″ (to use its official state number) has been placed on a list of bridges needing rehabilitation. A study report is being prepared, and engineers are performing a hydraulic analysis.

Construction would start in 5 to 8 years. Many bureaucratic steps remain between today and 2017 (or 2020). Two major ones are funding and priorities.

The engineer stresses that there is no safety concern with the bridge. Routine inspections have identified, however, that it is showing its age. It was built around 1933.

The engineer — thinking ahead — hopes residents will weigh in on the choice between detouring traffic (for an expedited construction schedule) or maintaining traffic (and taking a long time to construct a new bridge).

Route 57 has no viable detour. It is an important route to Georgetown, and a major conduit to Weston center.

In the meantime, the road — and the bridge — to Cobb’s Mill Inn are open. Use them!

But the current exhibit is huge — in scope of geography, sweep of time and importance.

“The Sound & The Saugatuck” opened last week. It runs through September 1, and whether you’re a history buff, geology freak, nature lover, environmentalist or someone who has ever driven across the river or enjoyed the beach, it’s not to be missed.

Using stunning modern aerial photos and seldom-seen black-and white shots; maps; artifacts; even fish and animals — and with plenty of explanatory (but not overwhelming) text — the exhibit covers 9,000 years of geologic, natural, economic, political, demographic, social, ecological and conservation history.

In a word, it’s fascinating.

For example, I’d heard that ferries crossed the Saugatuck. But I didn’t realize how important they were to daily life and commerce. And I didn’t know that George Washington used them twice here, in 1756 and ’75. (In 1780 and ’89 he traveled through what is now Westport by carriage.)

One small part of the WHS exhibit.

I never thought about the impact our bridges have on tidal floods, soil and water chemistry, and plant and animal habitats. Or the impact of the foul-smelling, polluting Riverside Avenue tannery that discharged waste into the river.

I did not understand how much the geography we believe is “natural” has been altered by dredging, damming, diversions and landfill.

There are panels on the glacial era, Indians, Dutch coastal exploration, shellfishing, maritime commerce, hydropower milling and manufacturing, modern recreation and more. In a nod to very recent history, there’s important info on the stormwater impact of Hurricane Irene.

And, of course, plenty on the amazing Sherwood Mill Pond.

A fantastic look back at the Sherwood Mill Pond.

There are shout-outs to our beaches (including oft-forgotten Burying Hill), marinas, islands like Cockenoe — and the Black Duck. (What was the barge before it served burgers and brew? A bait shop. And — don’t laugh — a dress consignment store.)

Back in the day, Compo Beach boasted portable bathhouses.

Speaking of the beach: I learned that in 1902 the town won a lawsuit asserting it — and not Compo Hill landowner David Bradley — had control of the beach. Seven years later, authorities demolished “unsightly shacks and tents in the Bradley Street section, dispersing vagrant squatters and rat-infested filth and trash.”

Now that’s the kind of historical exhibit I like!

“The Sound and the Saugatuck” covers the, um, waterfront. In fact, there’s only one thing missing:

No back story on the vessel mired in the Saugatuck River mud, just west of the Bridge Street bridge.

I’ve seen it for years. And, judging from many brief glimpses, it looks like it’s been there for centuries.

(“The Sound & The Saugatuck” runs through September 1 at the Westport Historical Society, 25 Avery Place. The WHS is open Monday through Friday, 10 a.m.-4 p.m.; Saturdays, 12-4 p.m. For information, call 203-222-1424.)

Cockenoe Island from the air — one of many amazing photos exhibited at the Westport Historical Society.

The 1999 Staples graduate “want­ed to start an in­ter­ac­tive video com­pa­ny in 2009, (yet) he had no luck find­ing in­vestors in New York,” Joshua Brustein wrote.

So he moved to Sil­i­con Val­ley — where ven­ture cap­i­tal­ists were re­cep­tive to his pitch — and found­ed Qwi­ki.

But in Feb­ru­ary, he de­cid­ed that be­ing so far away from the na­tion’s big me­dia com­pa­nies was sti­fling his start-up’s growth. So he moved back to New York, bring­ing the com­pa­ny with him. Qwi­ki, with 15 em­ploy­ees, now op­er­ates out of a So­Ho loft space.

Doug Imbruce

“We went to Sil­i­con Val­ley be­cause they un­der­stood how big we want­ed to get,” Mr. Im­bruce said, “and we moved back to ful­fill that prom­ise.”

The piece goes on to describe New York’s advantages over Silicon Valley — prox­im­i­ty to the me­dia, ad­ver­tis­ing and fash­ion in­dus­tries, for example (important now that the tech industry is focusing more on consumer products), as well as the “myopia” in the Valley.

Venture capital financing is changing too, the Times says.

When Mr. Im­bruce sought in­vest­ment for Qwi­ki in New York in 2009, his pitch fell flat. He did even­tu­al­ly find a Cal­i­for­nia-based in­vestor who of­fered to back the com­pa­ny, but on­ly if Mr. Im­bruce moved west and im­mersed him­self in the Sil­i­con Val­ley scene. He agreed, and soon found in­vestors to be much more re­cep­tive, to the tune of $10.5 mil­lion in fi­nanc­ing.

What even­tu­al­ly drew Mr. Im­bruce back to New York was the grav­i­ta­tion­al pull of the ma­jor me­dia com­pa­nies. Soon af­ter ar­riv­ing in New York, Qwi­ki be­gan meet­ing reg­u­lar­ly with ABC to dis­cuss how the net­work could use Qwi­ki’s tools. Last week, the two com­pa­nies an­nounced a part­ner­ship.

Lt. Col. Armas went on to serve 3 tours of duty, in Iraq and Afghanistan.

Last week, he told his story on our high school’s TV show, “Good Morning Staples.”

Videos featuring service members are a Memorial Day tradition at Staples. Students in TV Production class spend long hours interviewing; selecting photos and music, and weaving together a compelling, instructive film, which is shown in every class.

The iconic photo of Thomas Armas, carrying a wounded woman from the World Trade Center.

This year’s video is one of the best.

With gentle prodding from senior JJ Mathewson, Armas describes that day at Ground Zero, and life in war zones.

But just as compelling are his insights into what it all means.

“People don’t give their lives for their country,” Armas says. “They give it for their hometowns.” That means, he explains, that Americans should have fun on Memorial Day. Going to the beach, a ballgame or barbecue is exactly why men and women have given their lives: so we can enjoy life.

However, he adds, we also have an obligation to give back.

Lt. Col. Thomas Armas during his “Good Morning Staples” interview.

As a Rye native — growing up in an environment very similar to Westport — he “was given the best childhood a person could have.” He gave back what he could by joining the military. He tells Staples students they don’t have to do that — but they should find some way to contribute to their community and their country, using their time and talents to better the lives of others.

The Staples Media Lab’s 2012 Memorial Day video is vitally important. It’s well researched, loving produced and richly rewarding.

It takes less than 15 minutes to watch.

But the lessons may last a lifetime.

Click below to view:

Dan, thanks for sharing stories about Westport’s Vietnam veterans.  It is essential for younger generations to be reminded of the bravery and sacrifices of our own townspeople.

I have to share with you the sense of pride expressed by the Westport Boy Scouts who spent 4 hours yesterday distributing flags to the graves of veterans all over town.

The Scouts were proud to honor these brave men and women, whose sacrifices helped safeguard our nation and allow it to grow in prosperity and security.

Assumption Cemetery on Green’s Farms Road looks great, thanks to local Boy Scouts.

To me, it was an incredibly important reminder of how history comes alive for our young people, and how much they marvel at and appreciate the sacrifices of those who came before them. I thank the VFW and Scout leaders for giving them this opportunity.

Some newer Scouts were surprised to discover that such a large number of Westporters have served our country in the armed forces, and wondered how many untold stories could be shared with their generation.  The boys also were impressed to see the physical resting sites of Wheelers and Sherwoods, and the founders of Staples and Bedford, whose contributions also resonate so strongly in their everyday lives.

We will visit the Westport Historical Society to find more information to answer their questions. And hopefully, when we march tomorrow morning, the boys will have the chance to talk with the veterans who, because of their service to our nation, are able to participate in the well-earned festivities.

1. Go to Memorial Day parade.
2. Watch veterans, cops, bugle corps, kids/grandkids/random kids march; cheer for all.
3. Gather entire family. Go to Veteran’s Green opposite Town Hall; find grassy spot.
4. Turn off cell phone. Listen to speeches.
5. Really, really listen to speeches.
6. Find a veteran. Thank him or her.
7. Go home. Enjoy the rest of the day.
8. Oh, yeah. Pause from time to time to reflect.

Al Hofacker, in the 1969 Staples yearbook.

She remembers Al Hofacker. A member of Staples’ Class of 1969, he too served in Vietnam.

Al was more fortunate than Tim. He made it home.

Like Tim, Al’s letters home are available online (at Military.com). Here are some excerpts:

April 1, 1971

Dear Mom and Dad,

Well, the party’s over. They’re sending me back out to the bush tomorrow. I’ll be at CAP 2-7-6. Lt. Grebenstein called me up on top of a bunker this morning and had me test fire a 40mm automatic grenade launcher. He wants me to take it out to CAP 6 and add some firepower.

The thing weighs a ton. You carry it in front of your chest held by a sling. It’s got a magazine that holds 12 HE (high explosive) grenades and you can fire it semi or auto. The Lieutenant’s sending a guy named Cooper out with me to carry my ammo. He’s REAL happy about that.

I’m not real crazy about going back out but I’ll take care of myself. Thanks for the care package with the stuff from Joyce in it. Tell her thanks. Remember staring tomorrow my address is CAP 2-7-6.

Love,
Big Al

——————————–

April 4, 1971

Dear Mom and Dad,

Here we go again. We got hit by a couple of RPG rounds last night walking down this trail they call “Frag Alley”. The rounds went right through our column and exploded behind us, but we all turned and opened up on the trees. You couldn’t see anything, it was almost dark. I fired off two rounds from the auto-bloop and got tree bursts and had to cease-fire and just sit it out because I don’t have a sidearm.

A photo posted on the page with Al’s letters, on Military.com.

Nobody got hurt and we never found the dinks. But I got on the radio to 7th Company this morning and told them I wanted a rifle because the auto-bloop ain’t worth a damn anywhere there are trees. So they came and picked it up and now I’ve got a 16 again. There’s just too much bamboo out here.

Most of the guys here are pretty cool. I’m hanging in there. Would really like a hamburger right now. Take care, I’ll write soon.

Love,
Al The Kat

—————————-

April 10, 1971

Dear Mom and Dad,

This afternoon we were out on patrol with Sgt. Tingen and we spotted 3 people sitting on a rice paddy dyke in green uniforms, two men and a woman. Our PF’s told us they were VC so we got behind them in a treeline without them seeing us.

Then Sgt. Tingen stood up and opened fire and we all opened up and killed all three. It kind of made me sick. They didn’t have weapons. Joe Nielson was with me and he’s been low all day. There was a lot of horsing around and joking about the whole thing that didn’t sit right with me. But when the PFs say they’re VC, you gotta take them at their word, cuz we sure as hell don’t know. And if they don’t have weapons on them right then, that doesn’t mean they won’t be shooting at you later.

There sure is a lot of B.S. over here. I hope 2nd CAG gets pulled out soon. Tell Jeff Hunn I appreciate the letters and I’m glad he’s been coming over to visit. He’s the only friend I have who hasn’t written me off as a dead guy.

Love,
Alan

————————-

April 23, 1971

Dear Mom and Dad

I’M OKAY! I’M FINE! I don’t know what you have heard or what you haven’t heard but I’M GOING TO BE OKAY! I’m at the Army 95th Evac Hospital in Danang with a small grenade fragment in my face, had a piece taken out of my scalp, and a few pieces in my leg, but I’m okay. I don’t want you to worry. I’m not crippled, I didn’t lose anything important. I didn’t lose anything period. I don’t know and nobody can seem to tell me if they notify next of kin when you get wounded, so I wanted to write and let you know I’m fine.

We got hit bad on frag alley 2 nights ago and we got our asses WAXED by about 4 or 5 VC who’d got into the bamboo around us when we were sitting around at our Charlie Pappa 1 (check point one) and they just started lobbing grenades in on us over the trees. Just handfuls of frags that kept going off. It was unbelievable. Just about everybody got hit. I got hit, Ward got hit, the Corpsman was running around with a piece in his stomach, Henkle got hit bad, one of the PF’s got his eye blown out. It was insane. We had about 4 walking wounded (including me) and about 4 stretcher cases and we had to go about a click to get up to Hiway 1 where they could bring choppers down to get us out. Sgt. Tingen wasn’t with us. He was with the Alpha team who ran a react for us. We got up there finally and two Hueys came down on the road about 20 minutes later and they had some Cobra gunships work over the place with miniguns.

So anyway, I’ve been probed and X-rayed and picked at and had my trousers cut off, but I’ll be out of here in a week or so. PLEASE DON’T WORRY. I’m just fine and the food sucks. I’ll write again soon.

Love,
Al The Kat

(To read all of Al Hofacker’s letters on Military.com, click here.)

Many readers were pleased.

One, however, was particularly alert. Far in the background of the photo –

– he noticed the arch bridge on Route 57. It’s hurting, he says, and must be replaced.

He should know. He’s an engineer.

He predicted a choice: Shut down the road for 4 months and replace the bridge all at once, or maintain some traffic and let the project drag on for 2 years.

Either way, people will be inconvenienced.

And the newly reopened Cobb’s Mill — or whatever it’s called — will be affected.

(For a story on a very similar, tiny bridge — and why these projects take so long — click here.)

According to September Sirico, you would be wrong.

A Westport native and “beauty industry veteran,” she recently opened Dry, A Blow Dry Bar. (The capital letters are correct. That’s the full name. It’s got a comma, just like a law firm.)

Like any good entrepreneur, September saw a problem. Actually, 2. Blowouts rarely kept their fresh luster for more than a day. Plus, they cost a ton.

September Sirico

She trained all her stylists in “Blow, the New York Blow Dry Bar signature blowout techniques.” In addition, the salon offers “chic updos, braids, hair extensions, makeup, lashes and more.” (Don’t quiz me on that. It comes straight from a press release.)

Also, though, like any good entrepreneur September had to overcome obstacles. She approached local banks that had relationships with Greg & Tony — a salon her family owns. Despite her perfect credit rating — and her long community involvement, like the governing board of Levitt Pavilion and volunteering for Near & Far Aid — all said no.

“I was asking for money for start-up that had nothing to do with Greg & Tony. These banks just wouldn’t fund a start-up,” she says.

This winter she cashed in her life insurance policy, and emptied her savings account. She also asked her parents to invest.

“That was hard,” she admits. “They’re thinking about retiring and slowing down. But they believed in the concept.”

Her Staples High School friends helped too. They were there every step of the way, offering both emotional and practical help.

Lindsay Francis researched blow dry bars, made calls, sat in on meeting with architects and builders, and gave feedback on logos.

Amy Scarella helped design the space, and ran errands.

Jennie Bedusa proofed website copy, and went to Los Angeles with September to study blow dry bars.

Dan Armitage made all the countertops. Mark Conte — who knew September’s husband at Fairfield Prep — created a huge chalkboard for the salon.

Family friend (and realtor) Steve Crowley added much-needed moral support.

A Google Images search for “blow dry” turned this up. Impressive.

Dry, A Blow Dry Bar is now open at 3397 Post Road in Southport. I could go on and on about how “clients can create their own signature style,” or take advantage of “facial waxing, lash tint and lash application, makeup applications and decadent head massages called ‘Floaters.’”

I could, but I’d have no idea what I was talking about.

You’ll just have to see for yourself.

And by “you” I mean, of course, “women.”

But let waterfall-lovers and wedding-goers everywhere know: Cobb’s Mill is back in business.

Weston’s favorite only full-fledged eatery — a working mill since before the Revolution, and a restaurant/inn since 1936 — closed in 2010. The property tax bill was over $130,000, and the food was forgettable.

A classic Cobb’s Mill scene.

Now — with the economy gaining strength, and restaurants sprouting in nearby 06880 like dandelions — Cobb’s Mill has joined the parade.

New owners Elayne Cassara and Drew Friedman have renamed it “La Roue Elayne at Cobb’s Mill Inn.” (“Roue” is French for “wheel.”  Get it?)

That’s a mouthful, but it’s probably better than “La Roue Drew” etc.

I stole this shot from La Roue Elayne at Cobb’s Mill Inn’s Facebook page. I assume this is Elayne.

The iconic waterfall remains, of course. But the interior has been renovated.

So has the menu.

Despite the new name — and one dish called “moules and frites” — the menu is not French. Head chef Michael Achille offers up beef quesadilla, stone hearth-baked pizza, Rhode Island clams, broccoli rabe and sausage, lobster mac and cheese, Alaskan codfish filet and bacon-wrapped filet of tenderloin.

Plus, there’s music.

“Where’s Jimmy?” — described on Cobb’s Mill’s Facebook page as “Fairfield County’s favorite Rock n Roll quintet” — rocks the restaurant tomorrow (Saturday, May 26) at 9 p.m. Upcoming acts include Old School (a great rock band I actually have heard of, on June 1), and Tim DeHuff’s Dynamic Jazz Duo (June 21).

So, from all of us in 06880 — who occasionally made the trek north to 06883′s Cobb’s Mill (sometimes not even for a wedding) — welcome back.

And — with a nod to “La Roue Elayne” — bonne chance!

But nearby lies a smaller, less-noticed plaque. This one salutes 5 Westporters killed in Vietnam. Timothy M. Barmmer (Marine Corps), Michael B. Paquin and Stephen A. Shortall (Army) and Frederick M. Rader III and Francis A. Walsh (Air Force) are cited for their “honorable service in Southeast Asia, in the face of uncommon adversity.”

Westport’s Vietnam Memorial, opposite Town Hall.

In January 1968 — more than a year after arriving in  Vietman — Tim Barmmer wrote to his parents in Westport:

Listen, I’m sorry I’ve waited so long, but I went to Bangkok for 7 days, and when I got back we were pretty busy.

I guess you’ve heard a lot about Khe Sanh on the news & stuff, but DON’T WORRY! I’ll be honest, we’ve been getting hit with rocket & artillery every day, & they’ve surrounded us, but if you’ve seen the support we get, you’d feel as good as I do.

We have built a bunker so good, NOTHING could get through it — believe me.

Lance Corporal Tim Barmmer

We have jets bombing the area every 15 minutes, gunships, & B52 bombers every day. Feel a little better? I have not been SCRATCHED. The American flag flies atop our hole, unscathed!

We call ourselves the “glorious untouchables” and we’ve been put in for two more medals. How about that?

I’m pretty sure they’ll be pulling us out after all this is over, ’cause we’ve lost about 40 in a month — maybe we’ll go to Okinawa or something!

Bangkok was REALLY GREAT! I’m gonna go back there some day — met some really good people there. Thailand people are really friendly & good to Americans. It was terrific R&R!

I have a lot of work to do. Take care of yourself, and remember – I AM FINE — morale is terrific, and the guys are fighting their hearts out. Keep praying as I am, and we’ll keep fighting for you.

I made TV carrying a wounded News Coresspondent down the street — look for me on CBS! How about that?

Don’t worry, please. Give my love to all, and I’ll see you in 4 1/2 months. Love you all,
Tim.

Two days later — on January 30, 1968 — Lance Corporal Timothy M. Barmmer was killed by enemy fire. He was 20 years old.

Tim Barmmer’s company.

A recon corpsman said, “He died in my arms. He died trying to get someone else in the bunker during incoming… Tim was literally throwing people in (the bunker).  Shrapnel got to him.”

Later, Tim’s parents received a letter from a woman named Viola Howes. Her son Roger had often written about Tim — his best friend, and someone who “made this place bearable.”

This time, Roger wrote about his best friend’s death. Viola wanted another mother to read Roger’s words:

Yesterday evening we were sitting in our bunker eating C rations and a rocket came in about 3 feet from it. Huck (Tim’s nickname), Doc, Mac and Zeke were outside heating chow. Huck tried to push them in like the big stupid loveable guy he was and took the blast and was killed instantly. The other 3 are in serious condition and sent back to the States.

My God, what a dear friend we’ve lost, Huck was big and big hearted, he could be gruff yet gentle. We loved him like a brother and he left an impression that could never be forgotten. Everyone in our company could not help but like him. He was first to help a new guy coming in. He was the first one to welcome me here. This place can never be the same without him.

God has some purpose in it I know, but Oh God, we will miss him. Could you do me a very great favor and have a Mass said for Huck. His name is Timothy Barmmer. Thanks Mom, so much.”

Timothy Barmmer’s name is engraved on the Vietnam Veterans Memorial Wall in Washington, DC. It’s panel 35E, Row 65.

His name lives forever, too, in the much smaller — but no less significant — Vietnam veterans’ plaque opposite Town Hall, right here in Tim Barmmer’s hometown.

A sign on the new restaurant — named 323, for its location at 323 Main Street — promises “It’s All True.” I have no idea what that means, but it sounds intriguing.

323 will extend the dining options on the non-chain-store end of Main Street. A new wine bar opened recently next to Sally’s Place, and Joe’s Pizza will relocate there soon.

Count one more area of downtown is livening up.

Would I lie?

She didn’t get a role.

But instead of marking the end of her Players career, it was the beginning.

Assistant director Caley Baretta asked Gwen to sit in on a rehearsal. Though intimidated — Caley was a well-known junior — Gwen said “sure.”

She was hooked.

She interned with Caley for the spring production of “Twelve Angry Men.” She continued to work with — and learn from — Caley as a sophomore.

As a junior, Gwen was on her own.

Gwen Beal, working hard on the set of “Almost, Maine.”

Now — less than a month from graduation — she’s reached the end of a very enjoyable and creative 4-year Staples Players career. “Almost, Maine” — a serio-comic collection of whimsical tales about the joys and perils of romance in a small Maine town — is set for this Thursday, Friday and Saturday (May 24, 25 and 26) in the Black Box Theatre.

It’s a clever, intriguing play — one of those you-may-not-know-it-but-you’ll love-it shows. It’s also a fitting capstone for Gwen’s career.

“To think that I saw maybe 2 Players productions before I got here. And now it’s become the biggest part of my life,” she marvels.

Actors get all the props applause, but a role like Gwen’s is crucial to any play’s success.

“It’s so rewarding to watch a scene grow,” she says. “We shape it the way we want. It really is ours. Mr. Roth (David, the director) oversees things, but in a lot of ways we’re really on our own.”

Michelle Pauker and Bryan Gannon, two of the stars in “Almost, Maine.” (Photo/Kerry Long)

From casting suggestions to helping block and run scenes — plus nitty-gritty but very necessary work like handling dinner — an assistant director can make or break a show.

Gwen learned her role by “stalking Caley. I saw everything she did. There’s no textbook to read. Everything is trial and error.”

Once, Gwen forget an important binder. She got yelled at — and never made the same mistake again.

She’s excited about “Almost, Maine” because the cast and staging are so intimate. “Everyone has a story to tell, but the scenes are short. You don’t have much time to get the whole character across.”

Everett Sussman (left) and Clay Singer discuss the world in “Almost, Maine.” (Photo/Kerry Long)

It’s not easy for a high school actor to play an adult going through a divorce. “That’s so beyond our experience,” Gwen says. “But it’s so rewarding to figure out how to do it, and do it right.”

Some days are blissful. Others are freak-outs. Yet, Gwen notes, “when you figure everything out, there’s no feeling like it.”

Right now, she feels “bittersweet. I’m totally in denial that on Saturday, I’ll be all done with Players. This experience has really shaped me as a person. I’ve learned to talk to adults, technicians, older Players and peers. I’ve learned so much about people.

“My entire high school experience would have been different without Players.”

And all because an older student asked casually, can you give me a hand?

Westport is a “bicycle friendly town” (or something like that). But these cyclists are not so friendly. I got yelled at yesterday by an old geezer in bike regalia on Hillspoint who said, “why don’t you learn how to drive a car?” after I stopped at a stop sign before driving — very, very slowly — through a large break in the middle of a group of bikers.  It just struck me as funny.What are the actual rules for cyclists? Are they supposed to stop at stop signs?

Also, I wonder why Westport allows door-to-door solicitors. The magazine sellers arrive in the spring and, as a person who works from home, I find it alarming to have someone knock really hard at my door in the middle of the day. I believe that solicitors are not allowed in Norwalk (because a solicitor was cuffed by a police officer in front of my house 2 springs ago for violating the “no soliciting” law in Norwalk.)

Anyway, just 2 things I’ve been wondering about. Thank you!

In typical Westport fashion, they’re poles apart.

A woman named Victoria is not a big fan of the signs that have sprouted at Bridge Square.

She writes:

I know there was some concern when Dunkin’ Donuts moved in and had their flags. That was nothing compared with the eyesore that is on the corner now.

We are big fans of the new restaurants that have moved in and wish them lots of success, but hope they can modify their Pepsi advertising signage and their massive white board which seems more appropriate for a Holiday Inn conference. Do any local laws govern signage such as this?

A couple of miles away — geographically and philosophically — there’s Lloyd Allen. The owner of Double L Farm Stand is a big fan of creative, eye-catching and hand-made signs.

However, he says, the recent P&Z “clean sweep” of Post Road signs has forced him to remove some of his own. Right now they rest in front of his store — not, more visibly, nailed to nearby trees.

“The town takes its signs seriously,” he notes. But, he says — tongue only slightly in cheek — “If my sign said ‘Vote Grass Fed!’ that would be okay.

“Or ‘Still Lost: Free Range Chickens.”

Meanwhile, “the biggest signs of all are the ones that say ‘Space Available’ up and down the Post Road.”

“Count them,” Lloyd says, referring to the legal “For Rent” signs. “Go figure the logic behind it all.

“Of course, businesses can pay $80 for a minuscule chalk board sign that’s unreadable form a car going the posted speed limit.”

Lloyd believes each establishment should be allowed one sign. “Better that,” he says, “than going out of business.”

After which your landlord can put up a big, ginormous sign. Saying “Space Available.”

Sitting a few feet away were Ryan Reynolds and his Gossip Girl, Blake Lively. Bedford, New York — where they just moved — may have Martha Stewart, but it lacks a good deli.

“Thank you, Paul Newman, for training us Westporters to be calm, cool and collected during celebrity sightings,” Suzanne says.

Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds (not at Oscar’s, and not at the Oscars).