Category Archives: Children

Chowda!

Do you like New England clam chowder?  Perhaps you prefer Manhattan chowder?

Well, what about Westport chowder?

Or, as the organizers of this Saturday’s Chowdafest (February 4, 11 a.m.-4 p.m.) call it: chowda.

In just 4 years, the annual event — a fundraiser for the Connecticut Food Bank — has grown from a couple of hundred Westport people at the Unitarian Church to a few thousand (from throughout Fairfield County) at Bedford Middle School.

The format is perfect: a chowder chowda, soup and bisque competition between restaurants. Everyone judges.

Da Pietro's always draws a crowd at Chowdafest.

For $6 ($2 for those under 12) you get a spoon, ballot and pencil. Then — life is hard — you sample over 30 different offerings from 23 restaurants. They cover the coast, from Stamford to Mystic, making it the largest Chowdafest in New England.

But the local guys do fine. Last year’s winners included Mansion Clam House and Southport Brewing Company.

Westport restaurants competing this year include the Boathouse, Blue Lemon, Bobby Q’s, Da Pietro’s, Dunville’s, Mansion, River House and Tavern on Main.

Bobby Q's is a Chowdafest fixture.

There are 3 categories: Classic New England Clam Chowder, Creative Chowder (anything else), and Soup/Bisque. New this year: a blind taste test among chefs, and a “Critics’ Choice” given to the overall favorite.

Because it’s held the day before the Souper Super Bowl, volunteers and servers wear football jerseys, eye black and referee outfits. Sacred Heart University’s marching band provides entertainment.

It’s a great family event. Kids particularly enjoy receiving chef hats, stickers andtemporary tattoos. They take their voting privilege seriously (a good lesson this election year, no?).

“What’s cool is that Sam and Suzy Sixpack — all of us — determine the winner,” says head chowdahead Jim Keenan. “It’s not a panel of people who don’t represent us.”

In just 3 years, the money raised has funded over 30,000 meals.

Hopefully, some of them were chowder chowda based.

(For more information click here, call 203-216-8452, or email chowdafest@optonline.net)

L-O-L-A, Lola

The Westport Police Department’s most recent retiree has helped sniff out narcotics, catch burglars and find missing persons.

She has no idea what she’ll do with herself now. She can’t play golf, read or travel.

Lola is a police dog.

Lola, ready for anything.

She joined the force 11 years ago. A Fairfield family had bought the German shepherd as a pet, but soon realized she was more suited to work. They offered her to the Westport cops, who found her a far better police dog than the one they had.

“She wasn’t a pet. She was very focused,” says Fotios Koskinas, her first handler. (Current police chief Dale Call was also a handler.)

“She’s very achievement-oriented and self-motivated. She loves to accomplish things.”

Among Lola’s many tasks: narcotics detection, tracking criminals and missing persons, evidence recovery, building searches, even protecting officers. (“She’s trained to bite,” notes her most recent handler, Officer Marc Heinmiller.)

Once, she sniffed out 4.7 pounds of marijuana at a motor vehicle stop. She also located a potential suicide victim who had jumped into Fairfield’s Lake Mohegan.

Sometimes, her mere presence was enough to apprehend a perp. “I’ve had drugs handed over to me, and people surrender, just based on her barking,” Heinmiller says. “One guy came running out of the woods as soon as he heard her.”

Lola (with Marc Heinmiller), at work. (Photo/westportct.gov)

For nearly 5 years, Lola went home every night with Koskinas. When he was promoted, Heinmiller spent 3 months getting certified as a handler, then took over.

“She’s definitely a unique dog,” he says. “She knows the difference between criminals and kids — she was always around them with the DARE program — and the difference between work time and home time. She’d protect the squad car and me, but at home we’d play fetch like any other dog.”

With Lola’s retirement, the big challenge now is finding a German shepherd “with the same talent and drive,” Koskinas says. “She’ll be very hard to replace.”

Lola has been retired for just over a week. When Heinmiller heads off to work, she cries. “She’s living the good life,” he says. “But she’s not too happy about it.”

Hopefully, though, “she’ll enjoy being a lazy pet. She’s healthy enough.”

And she’s certainly earned her retirement pay: biscuits and bones.

De Westport A Cuba

Sometimes you can go home again.

Even if home is Cuba.

Maite Hernandez was born in Puerto Rico. She and her husband, Roy Marmelo — he’s Portuguese — have lived in Westport for nearly a decade. But her parents are Cuban, and many relatives still live there.

In 1997 Maite and Roy visited Cuba. They traveled the back way — through Mexico.

But recently, over Christmas break, Maite and Roy and their 4 children enjoyed a family reunion in Havana. They went the new way — on a Delta charter from Miami. Other relatives came from Los Angeles and Barcelona.

The Marmelo family, in Cuba.

Americans can now visit Cuba for religious, educational and family reasons. And what better family event than seeing long-lost relatives — and introducing the Marmelo kids Andres, Claudia, Júlia and Lucas to cousins they’ve never met?

Maite’s aunt Lucy has visited Westport before. (She’s allowed out of the country because, with 5 children of her own, she’s not considered a flight risk.) She and her other relatives still in Cuba live better than many in that country, Roy says. They’re well educated, and serve in prestigious professions like medicine and government. They live in Miramar, a Havana suburb filled with embassy homes.

One of Lucy’s daughters is a famous TV soap opera actress. A son, who serves in the Army, accompanied Fidel Castro on a trip to Mexico. He drove the Marmelos around in his van — just as he did Peter Frampton, on the singer’s visit to Cuba.

Lucy’s neighbor is Aleida March — Che Guevara’s widow. Andres Marmelo must be the only Bedford Middle School 8th grader to have met that connection to history.

A 1950's car, in 2012 Cuba.

Cuba is a study in contrasts, Roy says. Propoganda is everywhere — you can’t avoid seeing signs promoting 53 years of revolution — and so are the 1950s-era American cars that Cubans take pride in maintaining. But there are BMWs too.

The Marmelos visited a military museum (where they saw the American-made boat that brought Fidel back home from Mexico), as well as the Hemingway museum with his boat.

But recent changes allow Cubans to buy permits to sell items in front of their homes. They can open up bakeries. A Hernandez cousin says “80 to 90 percent” of citizens no longer believe much of the propoganda.

“In 1997, when we talked about politics we were told to lower our voices,” Roy says. “This time, that didn’t happen.” Cubans were even dancing to Gloria Estefan’s song, “Cuba Libre” (“Free Cuba”).

There is plenty of food — but it’s very expensive. The Hernandez family went all out to show their far-flung relatives a good time. Still, there was plenty of white rice, black beans and pork. “It was a good lesson for the kids,” Roy says.

Andres Marmelo saw plenty of eye-opening sights in Cuba -- including Che Guevara's face on the Ministry of Interior in Havana. The building proclaims "Hasta la victoria siempre" -- "To victory always."

“Everything in Westport is perfect and beautiful,” Maite adds. “Everyone is well dressed. It’s a bubble. You don’t see poverty. Cuba was an eye-opener.”

The sheets are so rough, they scratch. Maite’s relatives requested linens from America and Spain.

It was an eye-opener in other ways too. Cubans with connections have flat screen TVs. They hide illegal satellite dishes in water towers, and watch ESPN.

Maite’s cousin pays someone for internet access. The cousins have Facebook — “but they get on at like 3 a.m., with a dial-up modem,” Maite says.

There is plenty of night life in Havana. Young people go to bars — one is called the Yellow Submarine — and the famous Tropicana night club is still around. It looks good, Roy says.

The Marmelos spent most of their time in and around Havana. Each relative spent time entertaining them. They did take a side trip to Maite’s mother’s old beach house, and drove by Fidel and Raúl Castro’s ranches. (Photos were forbidden.)

The Marmelos are back now in Westport. The kids are sorting out everything they saw and did. Their parents thoroughly enjoyed the family reunion. They’ve got hundreds of photos, and souvenirs like a couple of paintings.

No Cuban cigars, though. Roy says getting them through customs is too much of a hassle.

A toll plaza on the coast celebrates 53 years of revolution.

Trey Ellis’ Long, Literary Road To Westport

Trey Ellis is an American Book Award-winning novelist, Emmy-nominated screenwriter and Columbia University professor.

Trey Ellis

His books, articles and blog posts — on fatherhood, politics, the black middle class, race relations, pop culture and much more — make him a familiar face on TV and radio shows, and in the pages of newspapers and magazines, as varied as “All Things Considered,” the New York Times, Playboy, Salon and the Huffington Post.

He wrote the screenplay for the HBO film “The Tuskegee Airmen”;  completed a screenplay for Morgan Freeman, and adapted a novel for Whoopi Goldberg, Danny Glover and Spike Lee.

He’s lived in Italy, France and Japan. He speaks Italian, French, Spanish and Portuguese.

He surfs, snowboards, and does advanced yoga.

And, since September, Trey Ellis has been a Westporter.

Growing up in Hamden, Trey “jumped over Fairfield County” on his forays into New York City. But he says he “always liked the idea of Westport.” When he remarried 2 years ago, his blended family drew him here.

Amanda Lynne Freeman

He wanted room — and good schools — for his own 2 children, and their newest son. His wife, Amanda Lynne Freeman — who writes about parenting and relationships — is getting her Ph.D. in sociology at Boston College. And teaching at John Jay in New York.

Westport was a natural fit.

The fit became even more natural when — looking at rentals — Amanda mentioned to one homeowner that she was reading The Three Weissmans of Westport.

“My daughter wrote it!” replied Shirley Schine. (Trey then learned that her daughter, Cathleen Schine, now lives in Venice, California — where he also spent several happy years.)

So here he is. It’s been a wonderful move, Trey says.

“I like the peace and quiet. It’s amazing to look up at a red-tailed hawk, dodge deer, see a hedgehog — and then be at Columbia in less than an hour.”

He calls Westport “clean, progressive and artistic. There are great schools, and very pleasant people. I’m a booster of Westport.”

That may be because, when he and his wife were searching for rentals, they met so many Westport boosters.

“Everyone seemed to have moved here from the city. They all went so far out of their way to help us. It was almost like they’d gotten a hidden memo, to do whatever they could for us.”

Trey Ellis several years ago, with his daughter Ava and son Chet.

Trey is black. His wife is white. Their child is Chinese. Though the specifics of their family are unusual, he says, “people here are open to everything. We’ve met Brazilians, Indians, you name it. There are a lot of international people, and a lot of people who have lived abroad.”

He worried how quickly his children would adapt. The answer: very quickly.

His 8th grade daughter and 5th grade son have gotten involved in school plays, soccer, dance and tennis. His kindergartener has plenty of play dates.

“There’s a lot of color in the schools,” Trey says. “It’s not necessarily black — but there is an international influence there too.”

And — just like New York — there are many blended families.

Though he has a seemingly endless number of projects — a new play premieres at Ford’s Theater in September, and he’s finishing another movie — he’s already looking ahead.

Among Trey Ellis' works are the books "Bedtime Stories: Adventures in the Land of Single Fatherhood" and "Platitudes: The New Black Aesthetic," and the screenplay for "Tuskegee Airmen."

“The book I want to write is ‘My Gay Dad,’” Trey says. His father came out when Trey was 21, and died soon afterward of AIDS.

The book would combine familiar themes — masculinity, fatherhood, the black experience — with a son’s memories. “He taught me about sweetness and softness,” Trey says with pride.

Though he loves Westport, and his family easily adapted to life here, Trey misses some elements of urban life.

“New York is magical at night,” he says. “And museums — it’s hard to find time to get there. I thought I’d have time to do all that. I’m still looking for the perfect balance. My life revolves around the train schedule now.”

He laughs. “I’ve become the guy who races through Grand Central.”

Still, he’s having a great time. He works on the train. He works in the quiet hours in Westport. His family is happy.

And for Christmas, they got him a kayak and paddleboard.

Scavenging For Kindness

Scavenger hunts are cool.

Also, according to a Westport student-parent initiative, it’s “kool” to be kind.

This week, a “Kool To Be Kind Scavenger Hunt” gives parents and children a chance to have fun, learn about Westport and kindness, and bond in the process.

Kool To Be Kind — a year-old project initiated by mothers/professionals Cindy Eigen, Lynne Goldstein, Sarah Green and Melissa Shein — promotes kindness and compassion at an early age by training high school students to act as mentors and role models to elementary schoolers.

It’s being piloted in all 3rd grade classes at Long Lots and Coleytown Elementary Schools. Staples students — trained by K2BK — lead interactive lessons promoting kindness, empathy and the creation of anti-bullying allies.

The children just finished the 2nd of 5 lessons. Now they’re “hunting for kindness.”

Part of a K2BK poster.

They and their high school mentors created posters, which have been posted in 40 stores throughout Westport. A scavenger hunt for the posters starts tomorrow (Monday, January 16), and runs through Sunday (January 22).

Some do more than simply display the posters. For example, Crumbs is creating a K2BK cupcake. Earth Animal made a K2BKanine cookie. Lululemon has designed a K2BK yoga class.

The plan is for parents to help their kids use scavenger hunt cards to find the posters –and then discuss what they’ve found. If a poster says “Ally Power Rules,” a parent might initiate a discussion of the word “ally.” Hopefully, that will reinforce ideas the youngsters got from their K2BK lessons in school.

Once a child locates a poster, he or she will be given a sticker by a store employee. The class that gets the most stickers will earn a prize.

Long Lots 3rd graders (from left) Chelsea Strober, Rachel Varsano, Josh Leon, Jake Motyl and Justin Honig find a K2BK poster.

Nearly 4 dozen Staples students interviewed for spots as K2BK mentors. They thought they’d be teaching children, but they’ve also learned a lot themselves.

“They see their high school world through different lenses now. They seem changed in the process,” the K2BK founders say.

The scavenger hunt may also spread awareness throughout the community. Customers will see the posters hanging in windows or on walls. Owners will hand out K2BK fliers to anyone who asks about them.

“It’s simple,” the K2BK leaders say. “Being empathetic, nice and inclusive is what high school kids think is Kool. Being the opposite is not.

“If 3rd graders get the message, spread it to the rest of their school, and bring it home to their siblings and parents and then out to the community, we are doing our little bit to stop bullying and promote ‘ally power.’”

The founders have one other hope: that the scavenger hunt “will encourage everyone in the community to commit random acts of kindness, and pay it forward as much as possible.”

Post-Fire, Saugatuck Nursery School Still Thrives

The pre-Thanksgiving fire at Saugatuck Congregational Church did more than inflict heavy damage on the 178-year-0ld building, and force relocation of services for the foreseeable future.

It also drove 35 children, ages 2 to 5, from their “home.”

That home is the Saugatuck Nursery School. Since its founding 43 years ago, it has served youngsters from Westport and surrounding towns — some of them minorities, some from less privileged circumstances than Westporters.

On April 4, 1968 Florence James Shook was enjoying a Tougaloo College choir concert at Carnegie Hall. She heard the news that Rev. Martin Luther King had just been killed. Driving home, she vowed to do something. She soon helped create the Saugatuck Nursery School, to carry on his dream.

This past October, Florence died. The month before, the nursery school had added a 3rd classroom, an $80,000 project — what director Ellen DeHuff calls “the beautiful Purple Room.”

On November 20 it — and the other school classrooms and offices — suffered smoke and water damage. Gone too were books, toys, arts and crafts supplies, computers — “everything you need to run a pre-school,” DeHuff says.

Almost immediately, the Westport Y offered space: 3 childcare classrooms that were not in use. In what DeHuff calls “Extreme Pre-School Makeover,” her staff of 10 spent several hours brightening the rooms for their kids.

The Y also provided equipment. Many Westporters offered books, toys and furniture — but there is no place to store them. (DeHuff suggested cash donations, so equipment can be bought later.)

The children use the Y gym. They also walk across the street to Christ & Holy Trinity Church, enjoying its playground for hour a day.

The nursery school staff is now working to gain church and town approval to use modular equipment in the church parking lot.

“It’s different, but the kids are loving it,” DeHuff says of the changes.

But the fire was “devastating” to the staff.

Still, she says, there are benefits to the disaster. Beyond the help offered by the community, there’s this.

“We realize more than ever that it’s not the building that makes Saugatuck Nursery School what it is,” says De Huff. “It’s the families and staff.”

These are challenging days for us. But together, we’re all making the pre-school work.”

And work very, very well.

Stuffed With Love

Four years ago — on the day after Thanksgiving — Hallie Wofsy’s daughter Layla turned 7.

Hallie bought stuffed bear kits, including accessories, clothing, gift bags — the whole deal. Layla’s friends came over, and they spent a few fun hours in her Westport home creating stuffed bears.

They gave them to Kids in Crisis, the Greenwich organization that — among many other good works — provides a home for abused or neglected children.

Four years later the project — called “Stuffed With Love” — has boomed. Each year — still the day after Thanksgiving — 150 families meet. They make over 350 stuffed animals. Al DiGuido — the founder of Al’s Angels — includes them in his gifts to children challenged by cancer, rare blood diseases, AIDS, domestic violence and financial hardship.

Maya and Layla Wofsy a couple of years ago, with a few of their creations.

“Westport is a very charitable community,” Hallie says. “Lots of people do amazing things, and they show their children what community service is all about.”

Stuffed With Love goes one step further. By involving kids in the creation of the animals — not simply collecting used or unwrapped toys — they learn the value of investing time and energy in an important cause.

Last December, Hallie made a New Year’s resolution: to expand Stuffed With Love into a national organization. With Al’s encouragement she set out to encourage youth clubs, sororities and like-minded groups to organize their own stuffed bear-making events, to help needy children all over the country.

The not-for-profit — called the Kidz Give Back Foundation — charges $25 per participant. Each person gets a stuffed animal, and all the stuffing materials and accessories. (There are a dozen or so animals to choose from).

Organizers set up 5 stations: stuffing, dressing, naming, card making and gift wrapping. It’s a fun, gratifying project — for the stuffers as well as the children who soon receive the stuffed animals.

Westport youngsters at work last year on a Stuffed With Love project. (Photo/David Esposito for the Daily Westport)

But Hallie’s own kids — Layla, now 11, and Maya, 8 — want to do more. They hope to speak around the nation, spreading the word about Stuffed With Love (and the importance of youth leadership) everywhere.

“Lots of charities give trendy toys to kids at the holidays,” Hallie says. “But there’s something special about getting a stuffed animal. There’s nothing better at the holidays.”

Especially one that’s been stuffed with love.

Away In A (Burr Farms) Manger

This Wednesday (December 14, 8 p.m.), Temple Israel hosts a forum on the challenges of “the holiday season” for Jewish and interfaith families.

Oy.

The event comes a few days after Staples’ Candlelight Concert. A tradition for over 70 years, the event opens — as it always has — with the haunting hymn “Sing We Noel.” It ends — as always — with the “Hallelujah Chorus,” as ebullient and glorious a paean to “the Lord God omnipotent” as you’ll find anywhere.

But traditions change. The Candlelight Concert now includes Hanukkah and African songs, plus other evocative music.  (There’s also a production number filled with schmaltzy Christmas tunes, Santa Claus, reindeer, and the occasional dreidel.)

Georg Friedrich Handel wrote the "Hallelujah Chorus" -- not Hanukkah music.

In fact, for over 2 decades Staples’ choral director was Alice Lipson — whose husband and daughter are rabbis and cantors. Alice conducted the “Hallelujah Chorus” as lustily as anyone — and made certain that, while her students knew they were singing pieces rich in history and beauty, they could opt out if they so chose. None did.

Back at Burr Farms Elementary School in the 1960s, it was all-Christmas, all the time. In music class, we sang only Christmas songs. There was “Frosty the Snowman” and “Rudolph,” sure — but also heavy-duty carols: “Adeste Fidelis.” “Away in a Manger.” “The First Noel.”

I had no idea what I was singing, but no matter. It was beautiful music.

And I got more than a music education at Burr Farms. Our classrooms had Advent calendars. Every kid — Catholics, Christians, Jews and Muslims (just kidding) — thrust hands in the air, begging to be the one to open the window that day.

A big part of my elementary school education.

The big event was a nighttime Christmas concert. Parents, students, younger and older siblings stood outside, in the cold air — around an evergreen tree, decorated with ornaments and topped with an angel — singing carols. I even remember someone pointing out where the Star of Bethlehem might have been, though perhaps that is pushing it.

When the Christmas carols were over we all went into the “cafetorium” for hot chocolate, the only secular part of the night.

I didn’t think twice about any of that. For one thing, I was in 1st or 2nd grade.

For another, we started every day with the Lord’s Prayer.

Over the loudspeaker.

That ended in 1963, when the Supreme Court outlawed prayer in school. I have no idea if there was any discussion about that in Westport — if, in fact, parents knew it was going on, or thought anything about it.

The Westport of my childhood was a multi-religious place. Temple Israel was built in 1959, with a membership of 250 families. We were certainly not Darien, and even at a young age I recall my parents being proud of our town’s pluralism.

But you’d be hard pressed to find any evidence at Burr Farms Elementary School, back in the early ’60s.

Not that anyone noticed. We were too busy exchanging Christmas cards and presents in class.

(For more information on Wednesday’s Temple Israel “celebrating the holidays” event, email amendelson@tiwestport.org, or call 203-227-1293. “Drinks and a nosh” will be provided.)

The Giving Tree

The Christmas tree in the Westport YMCA lobby does not look particularly imposing.

Pushed up against a wall, it’s average-size.  The silver decorations and twinkly lights are pretty basic.

But look closer, because this is a special tree.

Pinned to the branches are dozens of tags.  Each bears the wish of a local child whose family faces tough times.

“Girl, 15 years,” says one.  “Gift certificate to Marshall’s.”

“Boy, 6 years,” reads another.  “Mittens or gloves.”

And this simple request:  “Girl, 3 years.  Toy.”

To give a gift for any child on the tree, just bring it to the Y’s front desk by next Monday (December 12).

The Y has endured plenty of controversy recently.  But issues like leaving downtown and the adequacy of Mahackeno’s sewage systems pale in comparison to the simple holiday wishes of local kids in a time of need.

“Miss Annie” Reuter Retires

Annie Reuter loves lots about life.  But her 2 absolute favorite things are children and books.

When she walked into the Ridgefield Library 2 decades ago — to start her new job as children’s librarian — she told herself:  “This is where I’m supposed to be.”

But life got even better.

In 1997 she moved to the Westport Public Library.  Between the library’s support for kids, Westport parents’ championing of children and her own over-the-top enthusiasm, it was a match made in library heaven.

Annie Reuter

Annie did not major in library science, or children’s literature.  Her degree was in human services.  Before Ridgefield she worked as a court advocate and rape crisis counselor, was an occupational therapist, and — this comes close — ran a nursery school.

But none of that compares to the joy of being around children all day, introducing them to reading.

“Children’s librarians open up worlds, through stories, imagination, play, language and rhymes,” Annie says.

Working with kids gives her a chance to “go back and join children as they suspend reality,” she adds.  “To a child, Winnie the Pooh is as real as a policeman.  There’s something magical about that.”

Most youngsters come into the children’s library without any idea what they’re looking for.  Annie talks with them, finds out their interests, and steers them to just the right books.

“When you see them open a book, and open up a new world, that’s magical too,” she says.

One of Annie Reuter's favorite sights in the world.

Kids grow up fast — we all know that.  Their tastes move quickly from Dr. Seuss to Harry Potter to Kurt Vonnegut to John Irving.  (I wish.)  But many come back upstairs to visit Annie.  She remembers them all.

They may be big 7th graders — or, now, bigger college students — yet Annie still sees them “as a child in Story Time.”

Next month, Annie retires.  She looks forward to playing with her 3 “delicious” grandchildren, traveling — and perhaps doing something at the library in Southbury, where she lives.  (“It’s been quite a commute,” she says diplomatically.)

Annie will miss “the babies, the children, the staff and the town.”  She calls Westport’s energy “irreplaceable.”

“This is a town that absolutely champions children,” she says.  “There is a love of reading everywhere.”

Kids, she notes, “can’t go to the library unless grownups bring them.  And here, they always do.”

(A reception honoring Annie Reuter is set for Saturday, December 10, 10:30-11:30 a.m. in the Higgins Room.  All Westport parents — and, more importantly, youngsters — are invited.)